Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

All the different lines Minerva McGonagall has made students write:

"If Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade I will not point at the sky and shout TO THE BAT MOBILE!"

"I will not tell everyone that I overheard my sister saying, 'So I was like, 'Avada Kadavra!' and he was like, 'Dead.' "

"I will not ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling."

"I will not call Draco Malfoy the amazing...bouncing...Ferret."

"Remus Lupin does NOT want a flea collar!"

"I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort."

"I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his time of the month."

"I will not say 'dude, get a life' to the Dark Lord."

"I will not ask Professor Snape why he stole Batman's cape."

"I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my calculus book."

"I will not spread rumors saying, 'When Voldemort goes to bed he checks his closet for Mrs. Weasley.' "

"I will not tell Penelope Clearwater that Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it dances naked in front of him wearing Dobby's tea cozy."

"I will not sing "We're off to see the wizard!" when sent to the headmasters office."

"I will not send You-Know-Who a letter saying, 'I have eight Horcruxes, take that Voldy!' "

"Professor Flitwick's name is not Yoda."

"I will not bring a magic eight ball to Divination class"

"If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of the situation and draw a Dark Mark on their arm."

"I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand."

"I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing."

"I will not follow potions instructions in reverse order just to see what happens."

"I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him that they are real animals."

"I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween"

"I will not teach the house-elves to impersonate Paris Hilton."

"I will not tell Hermione to S.P.E.W again"