~*~ι αм ωнσ ι αм❤
❤ уσυя αρρяσναℓ ιѕи'т иєє∂є∂~*~

Twilight Oath-
I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlies sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
When ever I am in the Emergency Room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom
I promise to remember Rose
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful bronze hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know

❤`•.¸¸.•´´¯`••.¸¸.•´´¯`•´❤
∂σи'т ωσяяу αвσυт
тнє ρєσρℓє ιи уσυя ραѕт
тнєяєѕ α яєαѕσи тнєу
∂ι∂и'т мαкє ιт тσ тнє fυтυяє
❤`•.¸¸.•´´¯`••.¸¸.•´´¯`•´❤

tнe road to ѕυcceѕѕ
ιѕ not ѕtraιgнt
tнere ιѕ a cυrve
called faιlυre
a loop called
confυѕιon
ѕpeed вυмpѕ called frιendѕ
red lιgнтtѕ called eneмιeѕ
caυtιon lιgнtѕ called faмιly
yoυ wιll нave flat tιreѕ
called joвѕ
вυt ιf yoυ нave
a ѕpare called deterмιnatιon
an engιne called perѕeverance
a drιver called god
yoυ wιll мaĸe ιt to
a place called ѕυcceѕѕ

:¨·.·¨:
`·.KiѕѕKiѕѕ
LoveLove_

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
(Post this on your profile if you hate racism.)

80% σƒ ρєσρℓє ѕαу "ι ℓσνє уσυ". 20% α¢тυαℓℓу мєαη ιт. ιƒ уσυ нσηєѕтℓу αяє ιη тнє 20% ραѕтє тнιѕ ιηтσ уσυя ρяσƒιℓє.

-- oOo -- oOo
-O -- O -- O -- O
o -- o o -- o
O -- o -- O
o -- o
-- O -- O
-- o -- o
-- O -- O { Was supposed to be a heart O.o ... Taylor Lautner's and Alex Meraz's hotness turned it to mush XD }
-- o-o

×doИ't єυa frσωи bєcαυsє yσυ'll иєυєr
kиσω ωhσ iz fαℓℓiи' fσr yoυr sмiℓє

~*~ :~Ikuto~ ;~*~
(¯`•A•´¯) (¯`•U•´¯)
*`•.¸(¯`•M•´¯)¸.•´
¤ I ¤`,•.¸¸.•´
•.¸ love º¤*•.¸.•
*•. You...Amu .•

~*~ lαugh αs much αs чσu вrєαthє αnd lσvє αs lσng αs чσu lívє ~*~

[ Stuff ]

¢σиfι∂єи¢є ιѕ α ѕтαιи тнєу ¢αи'т ωιρє σff

єνєяувσ∂у тαℓк αи∂ єνєяувσ∂у ℓιѕтєи, вυт ѕσмєнσω ιт'ѕ αℓωαуѕ тнє тяυтн тнαт ¢σмєѕ υρ мιѕѕιиg

ι ∂σи'т ¢αяє ιf уυ ℓιкє мє σя иσт
вє¢αυѕє ιтѕ вєттєя тσ вє нαтє∂
fσя ωнσ уυ αяє
тнαи тσ вє ℓσνє∂ fσя ωнσ уσυ'яє иσт

❤ υиℓєѕѕ уσυ ℓινє∂ му ℓιfє,
∂σи'т נυ∂gє мє вє¢αυѕє
уσυ ∂σи'т киσω, иєνєя нανє
αи∂ иєνєя ωιℓℓ киσω єνєяу
ℓιттℓє тнιиg αи∂ ∂єтαιℓ αвσυт мє❤

[ι αм тнє αυтнσя σf му ℓιfє[υиfσятυиαтєℓу, ι αм ωяιтιиg ιи ρєи[αи∂ ¢αииσт єяαѕє му мιѕтαкєѕ]

ι'м мα∂ αт муѕєℓƒ, ησт уσυ. ι'м мα∂ ƒσя αℓωαуѕ вєιηg ηι¢є, αℓωαуѕ αρσℓσgιzιηg ƒσя тнιηgѕ ι ∂ι∂η'т ∂σ, ƒσя gєттιηg αттα¢нє∂, ƒσя мαкιηg уσυ му ℓιƒє, ∂єρєη∂ιηg ση уσυ, ωαѕтιηg му тιмє ση уσυ, тнιηкιηg αвσυт уσυ, ƒσℓℓσωιηg уσυ, ¢нαηgιηg ƒσя уσυ, ƒσяgινιηg уσυ, ωιѕнιηg ƒσя уσυ, ∂яєαмιηg σƒ уσυ, αη∂ мσѕт σƒ αℓℓ... ƒσя ησт нαтιηg уσυ ωнι¢н ι кησω ι ѕнσυℓ∂... вυт ι ¢αη'т.

ι ѕαу ωнαт ι ωαит 2 ѕαу
ι ∂σ ωнαт ι ωαит 2 ∂σ
ιf уσυ gσт α ρяσвℓєм
ι gσт 2 ωσя∂ѕ
f.υ.¢.к. у.σ.υ.

.../ _)
... _.--._/../ Rawr Means
.../.../I Love You In
_/..(...|.(...|) Dinosaur
/_.-|_|--|_|

Girl: Do I Ever Cross Your Mind?
Boy: No
Girl: Do You Like Me?
Boy: Not Really.
Girl: Do You Want Me?
Boy: No.
Girl: Would You Cry If I Left?
Boy: No.
Girl: Would You Live For Me?
Boy: No.
Girl: Would You Do Anything For Me?
Boy: No.
Girl: Choose- Me Or Your Life.
Boy: My Life.
The Girl Runs Away In Shock And Pain And The Boy Runs After Her And Says:
The Reason You Never Cross My Mind Is Because Your Always On My Mind
The Reason I Don't Like You Is Because I Love You
The Reason I Don't Want You Is Because I Need You
The Reason I Wouldn't Cry If You Left Is Because I Would Die If You Left
The Reason I Wouldn't Live For You Is Because I Would Die For You
The Reason I'm Not Willing To Do Anything For You Is Because I Would Do Everything For You
The Reason I Choose My Life Is Because You Are My Life!

"αѕ ωє gяσω υρ, ωє ℓєαяη тнαт єνєη тнє ρєяѕση тнαт ωαѕη'т ѕυρρσѕє∂ тσ ℓєт υѕ ∂σωη ρяσвαвℓу ωιℓℓ. уσυ 'ℓℓ нανє уσυя нєαят вяσкєη, ρяσвαвℓу мσяє тнαη ση¢є, αη∂ ιтѕ нαя∂єя єνєяутιмє. уσυ 'ℓℓ вяєαк нєαятѕ тσσ, ѕσ яємємвєя нσω ιт ƒєℓт ωнєη ѕσмєσηє вяσкє уσυяѕ. уσυ'ℓℓ ƒιgнт ωιтн уσυя вєѕт ƒяιєη∂ αη∂ мαувє єνєη ƒαℓℓ ιη ℓσνє ωιтн тнєм. уσυ'ℓℓ вℓαмє α ηєω ℓσνє ƒσя тнє тнιηgѕ αη σℓ∂ σηє ∂ι∂. уσυ'ℓℓ ¢яу вє¢αυѕє тιмє ιѕ ραѕѕιηg тσσ ƒαѕт αη∂ уσυ'ℓℓ єνєηтυαℓℓу ℓσѕє ѕσмєσηє ¢ℓσѕє тσ уσυ. ѕσ тαкє тσσ мαηу ρι¢тυяєѕ , ℓαυgн тσσ мυ¢н αη∂ ℓσνє ℓιкє уσυ'яє ηєνєя вєєη нυят, вє¢αυѕє єνєяу 60 ѕє¢ση∂ѕ уσυ ѕρєη∂ αηgяу σя υρѕєт ιѕ α мιηυтє σƒ нαρριηєѕѕ уσυ'ℓ ℓ ηєνєя gєт вα¢к. "

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, SamanthaFantasyFan, EdwardAddict, Supergirrl, Elemental-ANimal, Mother Nature's Daughter, Schmerg_The_Impaler, GinnyPotter808, clumsywerewolf2438, DontCallMeNymphadora,XVampWitchCatX,alpha-beta-omega1996, Skaterchick n Proud of It, gingerkitty95, LuvzxYa, YoursForeverXx

"ℓσνє ιѕ: "вєιηg νυℓηєяαвℓє тσ gєттιηg
нυят ... вυт тяυѕтιηg нιм ησт тσ .. "

"α нєαят вяєαкιηg ιѕη'т αℓωαуѕ αѕ ℓσυ∂ αѕ α вσмв єχρℓσ∂ιηg .. ѕσмєтιмєѕ ιт ¢αη вє αѕ qυιєт αѕ α .. ƒєαтнєя ƒαℓℓιηg αη∂ тнє мσѕт ραιηƒυℓ ιѕ тнιηg, ησ σηє яєαℓℓу нєαяѕ ιт, єχ¢єρт уσυ .. "

"ѕσмєтιмєѕ ¢нαηgє ιѕ ωнαт'ѕ вєѕт, ℓєттιηg уσυя нєαят вяєαк, αη∂ ℓєαяηιηg нσω тσ ¢σρє."

"уσυя нєαят ѕαуѕ ѕтαу αη∂ вαттℓє тнє ραιη, вυт уσυя мιη∂ ѕαуѕ ℓєανє ƒσя αℓℓ тнιѕ ιѕηт ηєє∂є∂, вяσкєη ιηтσ ριє¢єѕ ƒσя тнαт σηє αη σηℓу. вυт ƒσℓℓσω уσυя нєαят вє¢αυѕє тнє нєαят ¢αη σηℓу тαкє ѕσ мυ¢н."

ΚΛЯMΛ
ωнαт gσєѕ αяσυη ∂ ¢σмєѕ αяσυη∂ αη∂ ωнєη ιт ¢σмєѕ αяσυη∂ ιтѕ gσηηα нιт уσυ ƒυ¢... кιηg нαя∂ ѕσ ∂ ση'т ∂σ тнє σηєѕ уσυ ℓσνє ωяσηg вє¢αυѕє кαямα ωιℓℓ ∂σ уσυя αѕѕ тωι¢є αѕ ωяσηg!

~*~ι αм мє, αη∂ тнαтѕ σηє σƒ α кιη∂ (:~*~

[ Quotes ]

"L.O.V.E ~ A four lettered word that can never be defined."

"In this world some things are worth living for. They are worth waiting. And one of them is love."

"There is someone out there for everyone."

"We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, damn, I'm gonna miss your dumb ass!"

"Live your life (to the fullest) with no regrets."

"They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them,a day to love them, but then an entire lifetime to forget them."

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be."

"Kill a fly in the past and it mght drastically change things in the the future." xD

"Soulmates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you. "

"They say, “Guns don’t kill people- people kill people.” Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled, “BANG!” I don’t think you’d kill too many people, you know?"

"In the world of ninjas, people who break the rules are called scum, but those who don't help their friends are worse than scum."

~*~"I absolutely love it when he smiles."~*~

~*~"Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game."~*~

[ More Stuff ]

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Edward's One True Love, oceaneyes85253, UrDadSaidICouldn't Use the Door, Malice in Horrorland,Twilightholic-Tanya, Breeze, Spider-Monkey-Forever, Angel452 , goodpiperravencla, YoursForeverXx

╔══╗
║██║ (Put this on your page if u like music)
║(o)║ M.u.S.i.C
╚══╝

FRIENDS AND BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "That was fun lets do it again!!"

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high-school /college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost.

BEST FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.

FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with me.

FRIENDS: Hide me from the cops.

BEST FRIENDS: Are probably the reason they’re after me in the first place.

FRIENDS: Lets me make an idiot of myself in public.

BEST FRIENDS: Are up there with me making an idiot out of themselves too.

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.

~*~"If you never try, you never know." ~*~

[ Random Stuff from People :) ]

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

When life gives you lemons, squirt them in the eyes of your enemies.

My knight in shining turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

It's better to keep quiet and let someone think you're stupid, than to open your mouth and prove it.

if you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!

yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"He who laughs last didn't get it."

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

-Education is important; school however, is another matter.

-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

Love me or hate me. Personally I could care less

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

The road to success is always under construction.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

15 Reasons why girls are the best

1.We got off the Titanic first

2. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

3. Taxis stop for us.

4. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

5. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

6. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

7. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

8. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

9. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

10. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

11. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

12. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

13. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.(We don't usually picture guys naked we picture what it would be like to kiss you then get over it and move on.)

14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

15. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce: "It is time..."

Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
Was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
Unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"God, why? Why is
My life always sinking?"

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was beaten
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

If you hate child abuse then repost this on your profile. If you don't then you have no soul!!

THE ALICE CULLEN POEM:

Don't mess with a Cullen,
Especially me.
I know whats a coming,
Its no mystery.

My blood runs cold,
My eyes are golden brown.
I'm what you call immortal
My skills are world renown.

I'm small, I'm short,
I'm really good at every sport.

I'm sweet, I'm kind,
And Jasper is all mine.

I sparkle like a diamond,
When I'm in the sun.
I drive Italian sports cars,
Being a vamp's so much fun!

You ought to meet my family,
There's no need to fear.
Instead of sucking humans,
We would prefer a deer.

Were not among the living,
So we don't need to sleep.
So, hey, lets throw a party,
And come in Emmett's jeep.

I think a storm is brewing,
And Edwards really keen.
To through around a baseball,
Come and join the team.

Rose is really gorgeous,
But her temper's really bad.
But you'll love Carlisle and Esme,
My vampire Mum and Dad.

The best thing I saw comin',
My sister Bella Swan.
They went to Isle Esme,
And now Nessie is born.

One thing we put up with,
For Nessie's salvation.
Is Jake's stinky wolf pack,
Livin' on the reservation.

Oh, yea, I see the future,
The world is set on fire.
And everyone's talkin',
Bout the author Stephenie Meyer

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back."The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."

"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

I'll stαч up tιll TШILIGHT
To sєє thє NΣW MOON
And ιf I'm luckч
I'll sєє thє ΣCLIPSΣ
At BЯΣΛKING DΛWN
And thє wholє tιmє
I'm sιttιng with чou
Undєr thє MIDNIGHT SUN

~*~ "Love me or Let me go." ~*~

[ More Stuff xDD ]

10 Reasons Why You Should Love Sakura:

1.) She's beautiful

2.) She's Strong

3.) She KICKS ASS! CHA!!

4.) She reflects on herself.

5.) She knows when a friendship is over.

6.) She broke out of her shell

7.) She was never useless

8.) She saved Sasuke and Naruto, both, from themselves.

9.) She's an awesome medic ninja!!

10.) She's not emo or shy. She knows who she is and is not afraid to show it; Or afraid to show who she loves. She may have faltered in a few episodes and people don't like it when she hits the guys, but face it anti-Sakura fans, Naruto would not be Naruto without what Sakura has done. She's superior.

Post In Your Profile If Your A Sakura Fan To The Death

She was drinking at a party

On a raging New Year's Eve
She had to be home early
She knew she had to leave

"Honey do you need a ride"
Her boyfriend sweetly said
She just smiled back at him
And quickly shook her head

"I've got to leave right now
So I'll just take my car...
But don't you worry, sweetheart
Cause I won't drive too far"

Unaware she'd been drinking,
He watched her drive away
She knew that this was wrong
But she did it anyway
"I only had a couple drinks
I know that I'll survive"
She kept saying in her head
As she went for this short drive

The alcohol took over her
She wasn't thinking straight
She assumed that there was no one
Who'd be driving out this late

She ran all of the stop lights
As she sped along the road
Never thinking of the pain
This night would soon behold

But out of nowhere, came a car
She screamed as headlights flashed
She flew out of the windshield
As both of their cars crashed

She woke up laying on the ground
Sirens screaming in the night
She was bleeding quite a bit
But she knew she'd be alright

With dread, she saw the other car
That had rolled down the hill
She knew this was her fault
As she started feeling ill

But when she saw the body
Tears started falling down
As she looked down to find
Her dead boyfriend on the ground

I went to a party
and remembered what you said;
You told me not to drink, Mum,
So I had a sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself,
the way you said I would;
That I didn't drink and drive,
though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,
and your advice to me was right;
The party finally ended,
and the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car,
sure to get home in one piece;
I never knew what was coming, Mum,
something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement,
and I hear the policeman say;
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mum, his voice seems far away.

My own blood's around me,
as I try hard not to cry;
I can hear the paramedic say,
"this girl is going to die".

I'm sure the guy had no idea,
while he was flying high;
Because he chose to drink and drive,
now I would have to die.

So, why do people do it, Mum,
knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
like a hundred stabbing knives.

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mum,
tell daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven,
put "daddy's girl" on my grave.

Someone should have taught him,
that its wrong to drink and drive;
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mum,
I'm getting really scared;
These are my final moments,
and I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mum,
as I lie here and die;
I wish I could say "I love you Mum!"
So I love you and goodbye.

Remember: NEVER drink and drive!

Unspoken love

She'd known him her entire life
She always dreamed to be his wife
Just his smile made her heart melt
But she never told him how she felt

Forever hoped to have him here
Always dreamed to hold him near
Time passed and they both did grow
But still she never let him know

Perfect chances passed her by
But she just couldn't tell this guy
No matter what she'd ever do...
He still didn't have a clue
But one day her whole world did end
When she heard news from a friend
About the wreck he'd gotten in...
She'd never see his smile again

Now at his grave she softly cries
The tears running from sad eyes
This hurting girl whose heart is broken
All because of love unspoken

Time to move on

One night a guy and a girl were driving home from the movies. The boy sensed there was something wrong because of the painful silence they shared between them
that night. The girl then asked the boy to pull over because she wanted to talk. She told him that her feelings had changed and that it was time to move on. A tear slid down his cheek as he slowly reached into his pocket and passed her a folded note.
At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down that very same street. He swerved
right into the drivers seat, killing the boy. Miraculously, the girl survived. Remembering the note, she pulled it out and read it.
"Without your love, I would die"
I Am Lilly:

My name is Lilly
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,

I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.

I cant do a wrong
I cant speak at all
Or else I’m locked up
All day long.

When I’m awake,
I’m all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren’t home

When my mommy does come home
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I’ll just get
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie’s bar.
I hear him curse

My name is called
I press myself
Against the wall
I try to hide

From his evil eyes
I’m so afraid now,
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,
He says it’s my fault
He suffers at work.
He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And run to the door
He’s already locked it

And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall
I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken,
"I’m sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late
His face has been twisted
Into a unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain

Again and again
O please God, have mercy!
O please let it end!
And he finally stops

And heads for the door
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor

My name is Lilly
I am but three,
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me.

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic
Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"Please God, why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
And the poor child was beaten
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrust the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dieing
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
Then quickly barged in
Everything quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

IF YOU IGNORE THIS WITHOUT READING IT YOU HAVE NO HEART...BUT IF YOU FIND YOU CANNOT STOP UNTIL YOU REACH THE END THEN YOU MUST HAVE A VERY BIG HEART.

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:What Makes 100? What does it mean to give MORE than 100? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100. How about achieving 103? What makes up 100 in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98

And

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96
But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and
Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

~*~ "If you can live forever, what do you live for?" ~*~

[ More Random Things from Other People ] xDD

Well, the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

People say I'm A.D.D! can you believe that there is NO WAY I'm A... Ooh! look! shiny!

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

READING is my OCD!!

For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.

Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

If it works, rip it apart and find out why.

"I dream of a better world where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned."

"If people were meant to pop out of bed we would all sleep in toasters."

If you're going to criticise someone, first walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.~ but before that, make sure you have a lawyer.

Last night, I was lying on my bed, staring up at the stars and wondering 'Where the heck is my roof?'~ then I remembered that the bank had repossessed it.

I want to do that thing when you put a map of the world on your wall and put pins in all the places you've been to. But first, I'll have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it doesn't fall down.~ how many times to I have to tell you! The world is a triangle.

Ten percent of people in Britain believe that their food has a party when they shut the fridge door.~the other ninety percent don't own fridges, because of course fridges eat babies.

If you get sent to jail, a friend will bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, "That was so fun. Let's do it again!"~ and her mother will be next to her, saying "Don't tell them anything."

Whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it? ~mine.

How is it possible to have a civil war?~ well, you'd be surprised how much mystical power French Fries can have...

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?~ who notices that?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?~ funny story...

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. ~ you have no idea. Ever since that microwave exploded...

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!~ chocolate chip or oatmeal raisin?

"Wal-Mart, do they, like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton.~ actually, yes.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.~ I see dead people...

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.~ -gasp- THREE? so is the last one, like, inhuman?

I’m not saying you’re stupid, I’m just implying it.~ anything more and you won't be able to comprehend-I mean-you no understand

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...~ been there, done that.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.~ until the car breaks down. Then you feel like you're in diapers all over again.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.~ obviously, the economy isn't getting any better.

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the heck would I keep looking after I found it?~ well there's a very logical explanation for that... I just don't know what it is right now.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!~ or, just ask Bill Gates to do it for you.

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.~ but not when I walk into a person.

Constipated people don't give a poo.~ or do they?

Music is like candy - you throw away the rappers.~ am I supposed to eat all of the other songs?

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together."

"Don’t mess with me - I've got a stick."

"Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable."

"Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't."

"I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either."

"1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you."

"Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped."

"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'"

"He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.
She Said: You wear pants don't you?"

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Everything here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is frowned upon in most societies. ~Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Trying is the first step toward failure.

"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

~*~ "BELIEVE IT!" ~*~

10 Ways to Annoy Carlisle Cullen

10. Tell him only to address you in a cute English accent.
9. Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the “s”. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the “q” is silent.
8. Ask if blondes really do have more fun.
7. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift on the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER.
6. Instead of telling him to “get lost” in an argument, tell him to swim to France.
5. When he annoys you, respond with “times have changed, old man”.
4. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is – what does he do in a fight? Love thy enemy to death?
3. Leap out from behind the desk in his study when he isn’t expecting it and spray him with Holy Water.
2. Call him McSteamy or McDreamy.

And the Number One way to annoy Carlisle Cullen?
1. Run around the Emergency Room screaming “I’ve been bitten! I’ve been bitten!”

10 Ways to Annoy Jasper Hale

10. Beg him not to eat you.
9. Inform him that he seems to be the “depressed” Cullen.
8. Go up to him, look him in the eye and ask if he is hungry.
7. Spell his name with two “a”’s (Jaspar) and call him Jaspar Cullen. When he objects, saying his name is Jasper Hale, wave your hand at him and tell him all that blood must have gone to his brain.
6. Tell him only girls feel emotions. Then giggle and run away.
5. Dress up in a cape and fangs and leap out in front of him when he is least expecting it, proclaiming you have come to suck his blood.
4. Send out waves of lust and see how he reacts.
3. When he gets too close made your fingers into the sign of the cross and cry, “The power of Christ compels you!”.
2. Splatter red paint all over his and Alice’s room and videotape his reaction.

And the Number One way to annoy Jasper Hale?
1. Whenever he says anything, snap to attention, shout “Sir, yes sir!” and salute, army style.

10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen

10. Sing “Discovery Channel” by the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.
9. Hotwire his Volvo and take it on a joyride.
8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically pedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.
7. Ask how Tanya is.
6. End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”
5. Call him Romeo both behind his back and to his face.
4. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”
3. Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.
2. Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.

And the Number One way to annoy Edward Cullen?
1. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” by Madonna.

10 ways to annoy Emmett Cullen

10. Tell him he looks like a creepy stalker rapist.
9. Inform him, as politely as possible, that he has grizzly in his teeth.
8. Ask who wears the pants in his relationship.
7. Try to stab him through the heart with a stake.
6. Tell him brawn is out, scrawn is in.
5. Inquire as to how he feels to be the least-liked Cullen male.
4. When he is around, wonder aloud what Rosalie calls him in bed.
3. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with that jeep.
2. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with those muscles

And the Number One way to annoy Emmet Cullen?
1. When he denies the above two claims, respond with "That's not what Rosalie saaaaaid!"

10 ways to annoy Alice Cullen

10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to "Jump for them."
9. Tell her if she were just a few centimeters shorter she could legally be a midget.
8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever you can.
7. Tie her up in a straight jacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin.
6. When you go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan "I'm melting."
5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic.
4. When she gets a vision, ask if her "spidey senses" are tingling
3. Trip her and ask her if she saw it coming.
2. Ask her what you will be doing in five minutes every ten minutes.

And the Number One way to annoy Alice Cullen?
1. E-mail her dozens of application forms for the position of speaker on psychic hotlines.

10 ways to annoy Bella Swan

10. Ask about Eric.
9. Ask about Mike.
8. Ask about Jacob.
7. Ask about Edward.
6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the white pages she looked for fake fan boys.
5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun.
4. Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her... happy.
3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong and, she should stop with her weird fetishes.
2. Tell her we all know the real reason she married Edward- the honeymoon.

And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan?
1. Tell her that you and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her you are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Video tape the reaction.

10 Ways to Annoy Rosalie Hale

10. Tell her that, because everyone thinks she and Jasper are twins, they should get together. When she asks why, say that Incest is in at the moment.
9. Call her “Ice Queen” behind her back and to her face.
8. Whenever she argues anything, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”
7. Claim that being a human ain’t so great.
6. When she argues the above claim, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”
5. Try to exorcise her and her evil ways.
4. Tell everyone that Edward didn’t go to Italy because Rosalie said Bella was dead – he went to Italy because he envisioned Rosalie’s ugly face.
3. Call her “Hoe-salie” at least once, to her face.
2. Remind her that Edward chose a pathetic human girl over her.

And the Number One way to annoy Rosalie Hale?
1. Steal her silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Roxanne” by The Police. When she asks why the hell you did it, say that she reminds you of Roxanne.

10 Ways to Annoy Esme Cullen

10. Let it slip what Carlisle really does during his night shifts at the hospital, with all of the pretty nurses.
9. Tell her all about the names of your future children, when you want to have them, what genders you want them to be, etc.
8. Ask her if her hair looks like caramel, does it taste like caramel?
7. Politely ask if Carlisle asks her to dress up as “Nurse Naughty” in the bedroom and if he demands she calls him “Doctor Dreamy”
6. Tell her that Carlisle is much too old for her, and that he is clearly a cradle-snatcher or phedophile.
5. Take a chunk of her hair, put it in a blender with milk and hand back the final product, claiming it’s a caramel milkshake.
4. Tell her what the nurses at the hospital really think of Carlisle – then smudge lipstick on Carlisle’s shirt collar and spray him with perfume. Laugh loudly when Esme
notices, and videotape the reaction.
3. Ask if she likes Carlisle’s cute little English accent. When she says she loves everything about Carlisle, call her an “uncultured swine” and storm off.
2. Inquire as to how she jumped off a cliff and survived. When she can’t answer, ask if she is secretly Batman.

And the Number One way to annoy Esme Cullen?
1. Anonymously send her a package of baby clothing in the mail.

10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black

10. Never use English around him – instead, bark.
9. Call him a space heater.
8. Tell him that dogs make good pets, not good partners.
7. Ask him if he has RSVPed to the wedding yet.
6. Inform him that real men sparkle.
5. Walk up to him and claim you have imprinted. Say you love him and demand his paw in marriage.
4. Tell him that even though he may run at a boiling 108.9 degrees, Bella doesn’t find him hot.
3. Inquire as to how Leah is… and if he dreams about Sam the way Leah dreams about Bella.
2. Ask him if he likes to do things… doggy style.

And the Number One way to annoy Jacob Black?
1. Make him a day-by-day flip calendar, counting down the amount of time Bella will remain human

~*~ "Hale Yes!" ~*~

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

1) You talk to yourself a lot. (A lot meaning all the time...)
2) You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask myself random things?')
3) When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')
4) After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs..."
5) You live off of sugar and caffeine. (the two greatest things ever discovered!)
6) You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.
7) You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
8) When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
9) You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.
10) No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
11) The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.
12) Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
13) People think you have ADD.
14) You think it'd be cool to have ADD.
15) You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
16) You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
17) Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

You ALSO Might Be An Author If...
1. Every time you hear a song, you think of a new story or one you've already written.
2. You have the last chapters of a story done before even thinking of the characters names.
3. You often imagine your books becoming movies.
4. Spell check is your best friend.
5. You give even the smallest of characters a huge background.
6. You hesitate before killing of one of your favorite characters.
7. You smile really big when your gonna finally write a character love scene.
8. Every time you read something, you make your own story of the same thing.
9. You'll spend an hour trying to find one word cause you won't dare use a synonym.
10. Not being able to write is like not being able to pee to you... you just can't hold it in for so long.
11. You write so fast, you leave out words in a sentence.
12. You have to tell at least one person your whole story before it's even written.
13. Things that are written bad annoy you and make you want to re-write it better.
14. You laugh at jokes you wrote yourself.
15. You can spell words like 'troublesome' but can't spell 'the' half the time.
16. If your note writing or typing, your fingers are moving constantly.
17. You talk to yourself... constantly.
18. You forget what day it is when your writing.\
19. When you have to write some sort of story in class, you get carried away.
20. You would rather die than use words like 'good' or 'nice' and etc.
21. You put off the last chapter of a story simply because you don't want it to end.
22. You start to cry when writing about a death or other depressing event you knew was coming, and you are the one writing it.
23. When on a roll, you will ignore hunger, sleepiness, or the urge to pee until you run out of ideas.
24. If a story, movie, show, etc. finishes without closure, you have a powerful need to write a suitable ending.
25. You like to fidget, tap, or chew on the tip of something when you are trying to come up with a new sentence, paragraph, chapter, or story.
26. You are in love with the Thesaurus.
27. You dream about your stories.
28. You dream of new stories.
29. You often revisit some of your old stories.
30. Someone can call your name twenty times without you hearing if you're writing.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you,
But the roses are wilting,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty,
And so is your head.

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

~*~ "I Love You..." ~*~

You know you're obsessed with Twilight when...
1) You have read Breaking Dawn 3 times
2) You own the above mentioned books.
3) You know that they're totally going to screw up Breaking Dawn the Movie, and you never want to see it.
4) You have read everything on every page of Stephanie Meyer's web site.
5) You have reread a lot of these pages.
6) You read fanfiction about Twilight.
7) You write fanfiction about Twilight.
8) At one point or another, you have had a screen name/username that says something about Twilight or its characters.
9) You constantly count the days until Breaking Dawn comes out.
10) For a long while after you read Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse, you acted as a missionary for the books, asking everyone you talked to if the had read them.
11) If said people have not read Twilight, you insist that they read it, because it is, and I quote, "the best book ever".
12) If anyone says something that goes against the statement that Twilight is the best book on the planet, you immediately start to argue with them.
13) You stand firm by your belief that anyone who says that Twilight is just a crappy, unrealistic love story (and yes, believe it or not, I do know someone who has said this!) should be taken to the edge of a cliff and pushed off.
14) For months after you read it, Twilight was your favorite subject to talk about.
15) When you found out you would have to wait until August of 2008 for Breaking Dawn to come out, you almost cried.
16) You argue with your friends over which member of the Cullen family you like best.
17) You began reading fanfiction as a desperate attempt to read something about Twilight, when you had already finished the books.
18) No matter how many times you read Twilight or Twilight-related stories, you never get tired of it.
19) As you read this list, you are smiling and nodding at almost every thing you read.
20) Even though you know it's impossible, you often wish that you were a vampire.
21) Vampires are officially your favorite mythical creature ever.
22) Your personal motto is, vampires are cool, not scary.
23) You know that you are not crazy for being obsessed with Twilight; people who don't understand it just haven't read the book.
24) When you hear that someone read Twilight and didn't like it or thought it was stupid, you just shake your head and sigh.
26). You literally haunt Stephenie Meyer's website waiting for new information
27). You're driving your parents mad with your crazy countdowns
28). You're keeping track of all the "Breaking Dawn Quotes of the Day" and trying to figure out what they all mean. (Yes, and they're driving me CRAZY!! I want to read it even more... Rub it in, Stephenie...)
29). Your home page is Stephenie Meyer's website (at one point, it wasn't, but it is now -evil laugh-)
30). Your desktop has something to do with the Twilight Series (It is now! I changed it! -evil laugh- My background and start bar are dark red and this drawing of Rosalie is over the top of it! It's based off of the story Rose told in Chapter 7 of Eclipse. Note: that piece of art is not mine, but I wish it was! If you like it, go to this website to see more!)
31). Your screen saver reads "Breaking Dawn: August 2, 2008" (nope. My screen saver is bubbles... But you can still see my background behind them XD)
32). You have both the original New Moon book and the New Moon Special Edition
33). You put your Eclipse poster in plain view so that everyone can see it
34). You can't believe that most people haven't read the books
35). You know all the characters so well that you feel as if you could write your own stories about them
36). You spend most of your day making up "What if...?" questions about all the different plot lines (of course, that's how fan fiction makes it's living, lol)
37). You've actually read the play "Romeo & Juliet" just so you could find out how Jacob would die (actually, I read it because it was a requirement for my English class. ...But I did know how Jacob would die!)
38). You know you're addicted, but you don't care (Nope, don't care. Twilight is addictive; I have to have my fix XD)
39). You can't help saying, "I can't wait for August 2nd!" while everyone who isn't "in the know" stares at you like you're psycho
40). You're more excited about the release of Breaking Dawn than anything to do with Harry Potter
41). When you found out about Midnight Sun you had yet another mental breakdown (yeah; I did. Edward wouldn't have been able to read my thoughts there; I stopped thinking and breathing for a second. Then I practically screamed and then proceeded to tell all my Twilight-a-holic friends about it)
42). You noticed there is no number 25 (no, I didn't and I feel stupid about it...)

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. -evil laugh-... parking garage... yellow bunnies... blue m&m's... Aston Martin... random words...)

Beware! For my place of employment has given me a NEW weapon...THE BUBBLE WRAP!

Directions to Llama-land:
Left at the rainbow, Right at the unicorn. And if you've passed the penguin, you've gone too far.

When the world is ending, I'm throwing the party!

(\_/)
(o.o) This is Bunny. Copy Bunny to your profile to help him in his goal of world domination!

"Life is empty and so is the fridge."

"The world is out to get me. Hide me in your closet and cover me with clothes. Don't let it find me."

.: There's three ways to do things:.
.: The right way :.
.: The wrong way :.
.: And my way, which is wrong too, but faster!:.

Where am I to go, now that I've gone too far?"

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen. Oh, you think I'm kidding.
My friends are the kind of people that would spend hours trying to drown a fish. ...But I love them to death

Good friends ask why you're crying, BEST FRIENDS already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry
Good friends will say you can do better, BEST FRIENDS will call him up and say "You have seven days to live

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils"

"It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird"

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Twilight 10 Commandments

1. I am the best book out there, you shall have no better ones than I.
2. You shall not take Edward Cullen's name in vain.
3. Remember to keep release dates calendared.
4. Honor the Cullen's for gracing you with their presence.
5. You shall not kill humans or shape-shifting wolves.
6. You shall not love both Edward and Jacob equally.
7. You shall not steal Twilight books from your friends to see how they will react when they can't read them anymore.
8. You shall not lie, for Edward will know that you did anyways.
9. You shall not covet Edward.
10. You shall not covet Edward's Volvo, or various Cullen cars.

Got a problem with me? Solve it.
Think I'm trippin'? Tie my shoe.
Can't stand me? Then sit down.

If random songs just pop into your head at any given moment, from 'I've Been Working On the Railroad', to the Animorph version of the Barney song (I hate you, you hate me, we're an alien family ect. Personally, I like this version better) to your most favorite song ever, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you can't figure out if these copy and paste things bug you or if you love them, copy and paste this onto your profile.

IF YOU MAKE RANDOM FISHY FACES AT PEOPLE YOU DON'T KNOW COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE

If someone has ever asked you what Maximum Ride is about, and they give you a look that says, do-I-really-hang-out with you? copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you wierd, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Maximum Ride its not even FUNNY anymore, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever called one of your friends Mom on accident, copy and paste this on your profile. (and teachers and my dad and guy friends and my brother and...so on)

If you have ever fed yourself food, and missed your mouth, (not counting if you are like 3 or something!) copy and paste this on your profile.

If you ever sang the "I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves" song copy this into your profile!

I ran with scissors, and lived!

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

All the good ones are either dateing someone, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

Stupid shiny Volvo owner.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

"Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real."

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they've seen me laugh, and they've seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

Did you know chocolate is poisonous. The leathal dose is 22 pounds...I'm screwed.

Save the planet, it's the only one with chocolate.

One day, I will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in your face?!

So what if we act like immature idiots? We're having fun.

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. Three of us disagree with that, the fourth is undecided.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

If I asked for your opinion, I'd take the tape off your mouth.

I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem

I'm not so good at advice. Can I intrest you in a sarcastic comment?

"Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, but Jasper can sit in a corner and STILL make everyone feel jealous."

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

And God(CARLISLE) said "Let there be Jasper,"...and it was all gooooood.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorious. But not so much tastey!

We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

The voices in my head do not like you.

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion; it’s just that yours is stupid.

Let us be thankful for the fools, because without them the rest of us could not succeed.

"Due to lack of interest, tomorrow has been canceled."

You laugh because I'm different; I laugh because you're all the same.

Forgive your enemies but remember their names.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

The only way to make my PC faster is throwing it out the window.

If ignorance is bliss, then why aren't more people happy?

Shoot for the moon. If you fail, at least you'll land among the stars

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on

If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers

The light at the end of the tunnel is a freight train headed your way.

Don’t bother caring what people think because they seldom do.

The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed."

"Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

It’s not until you're broken that you know what you're made of.

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.

Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up. (so true!)

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; it’s already tomorrow in Australia

Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?

Yeah, I’m a loser. But the coolest loser you'll ever meet

I am generally very brave. Today, I just happen to have a headache

I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms

When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really? Who likes lemons?
When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.
When Life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me
Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend
Tell the truth and run

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.

I'm lost. I've gone to look for myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait.

If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from

I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

~*~ "The 3 words all woman wanna hear:'I was wrong.'" ~*~