Quotes:

You know something is wrong with you when a supposedly invulnerable demon asks you to keep them alive, and you then refuse bonus money for saving their worthless carcass.

Destroy is such a strong word! I prefer ‘redecorated for free’.

Everyday I think people can't get any stupider, and everyday I'm proven horribly wrong.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.

If Tylenol, Duct Tape, and a Band Aid can't fix it, then you have a serious problem.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. Your best friend will be sitting next to you in the cell saying 'That was freakin awesome!'

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

No one is a virgin, the world screws us all.

Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy, check 3 friends, if they are okay, you're it.

Some people are like slinkys, they're not much to look at, but you can't help but smile when they fall down the stairs...

There are only stupid people around me, but they mean well.

When life gives you lemons make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how the fucking hell you did it.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same

I'm an angel! Honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo up straight!

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car.

I am not crazy! You know what! The voices don't like u anymore!

I reject your reality and substitute my own.

You know you're crazy when you know the Men in white by name.

there is no such thing as good and evil only points of view