"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." Albert Einstein ( oh steiny baby, you kill me!)

In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.' Dereke Bruce ( i have neither! so unfair!)

Remember when you need a F.U.C.K, I am always here for you. Because F.U.C.K stands for "Friendship U Can Keep". So promise me we will F.U.C.K forever. Unknown. ( LMAO)

An escalator never breaks . . . it only becomes stairs.

When you get older, lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.

People never grow up; they just learn how to act in public.

No matter how bad it gets, I'm rich at the dollar store.

Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.

Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

I've only got 2 hands, the left and the right but I can slap you with both.

"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."

"One day we'll look back at this moment, laugh nervously, then change the subject."

"I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault."

"I may not be very smart, but I can lift heavy things."

"I will temporarily rule the world, forever."

"It's improbable, immoral, and against my religion."

"I'm not crazy I’m just ... well, I’m not crazy!"

“It’s a control freak thing. I wouldn’t let you understand.”

"Suicide is a way of telling God: 'You can't fire me, I QUIT!'"

"This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence."

"I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly alert."

"This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force."

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

"If anime guys were real the world would be a better place, more violent and destructive, but better."

"When I fall in love, the Sun will colide with the Earth and our planet will explode."

"If we're going to die, we might as well go laughing insanly."

"I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth."

"High heels were invented by a woman who hated being kissed on the forehead."

"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ... I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am
at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."

"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."

A genius is someone who is screwed up in a useful way.

"My dad, he's a nuclear physicist, my mom, she's a math- ematician, my brother is a chemical engineer--and I like to color." --Shashi Bhatia ( no idea who that is, but LOVE THE QUOTE!)