It was just a long weekend in Vegas, so how did eighteen year old high school senior Bella Swan end up married to thirty one year old movie exec, Edward Cullen? This is the story of their awkward life. Rated M for future lemons.

Bella is a famous Hollywood comedian. One day at Jay Leno she meets her former high school crush Hollywood hearthrob Edward Cullen. Were the feelings mutual? Hilarity ensues.

Isabella has always been told she was "big boned"; always a little curvier than her other friends and never being able to fit in. Others, like Edward Cullen were less tactful. "You're fat Bella, plain and simple- pun intended." This is Bella's journey to self-confidence, self-acceptance and angry love. OOC, fluffy, future lemons and mild language.