The Basics

Well hello there! You dare to enter the Profile of Awesome? My, you're brave. But seriously, I'm the Master of Cheesy Writing. This is where I'll post really lame fictions that some people might actually enjoy, which sounds really weird and doesn't make any sense. I'll probably write more parodies and humor fictions than anything else, but I'm not afraid to try a little bit of everything. I'm not looking for any criticism on my writing or anything, as this is just a place for me to splurge emotionally like some rabid creepy vampire fangirl, but if you want to throw criticism spoons at me for poor plots and awful writing I won't mind a bit. Because... Can you keep a secret? ...I like getting bashed and criticized. It makes me so happy, you don't even know. ...I'm weird.

I'm really very friendly and chatty at heart, but when I'm around strangers I tend to hide in a antisocial shell, which is easily mistaken for signs of being a flat-out loner or some odd little shy kid. Heck, I even mistake myself for some wacky antisocial nut. I know myself so well. Anyway, absorb this information, kiddos, because everyone who looks at my profile should really deeply consider PMing me. Most of the time I'm just completely bored and lonely, because I hate going outside which equals no friends. I'm also home schooled. So, as you have probably figured out, this means one Lonely Kiki.

Did I just say Kiki? Pfft yes, that's my nickname. For myself. For my real actual name. That I made for me. Just now. Yeah.

And I didn't mean to say shy people and loners are weird or anything, I'm just saying if I was one, I would be.

...Then again, I'm weird no matter what my personality is like.

BUT OH MY GADS SEND ME A PM. YOU KNOW YOU WANNA.

Okay, so maybe you don't. In that case, keep reading, because I got LOADS more to cover.

You know what I'm really afraid of? Matches.

...BORING.

I'm also afraid of most bugs (including spiders), my sugar intake, getting health problems, getting stabbed from behind, aliens, ghosts, getting poked in the eye with something sharp and pointy, getting sprayed at with a spray bottle, getting ripped apart by some man-eating monster, and getting parasites like ticks and fleas.

Wow.

You want to know something funny? I freak out over eating a friggin' Snickers candy bar, but I gorge myself on my mom's chocolate muffins.

Way to go me, the health-fanatic fraud.

Well, this profile's quality really went down, huh? Time to turn it up a notch.

Them Feels

All right! So, this is where I unleash my stupid fangirly side that squees over... barely anything. Oh well, but really, I'm not much into ships and pairings, though I do, admittedly, have a few personal favorites (that are shared with much of the public). I guess I'm just at that age where I need to feed off of the pinkish dew of romance fictions for a bit, eh? Yeah. Hopefully I'll get over it. But yeah, I'll list my favorites. ...Wow, I REALLY want to drag this out, don't I? Yep, I'm a bit of a natural OMG WTH ROMANCE = DISGUSTING MUSH OF LOVE PORRIDGE EW kinda person, but I'm a girl so... yes. I have pairing needs now. *weeps sadly* I never thought I would sink to such levels, but here goes:

The current fandom I'm petting and splurging all my emotions on right now is the Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Heroes of Olympus fandom. I've always been a humongous fan of the series, but it just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it? I'm still sensitive in the area of love-mush-junk, so any kissing really turns me off, no matter where I'm reading or watching it or who's doing it, so I tend to dislike fics that revolve solely on a certain pairing. Yeah. And I only like the romance when it's dragged out nice and easy, and well-written too. Told ya I was picky. ;D ...Well, I didn't tell you that, actually, and I'm also not very picky at all, really, but OH FRIGGIN' WELL. ...You know what? I'm not gonna tell you my favorite ships because 1) I'm evil that way, 2) you can probably guess anyway IF YOU READ ON *glares, and 3) I don't see a really need to tell you so there.

The first fandom I ever splurged on was Warriors and then Redwall, back when I was awesome I didn't have any friggin' pairing needs. Then I kinda got bored of those internet realms and I read all the good fictions there, so I moved on to the Percy Jackson fandom. BIG MISTAKE. I got a taste of pink dew because PINK DEW IS ALL THEY FRIGGIN' SERVE AT THESE POPULAR FANDOMS and so I started my secret life as a ship-obsessor. Then I went on the Teen Titans fandom because I thought the pink dew at PJO was gross and full of cockroaches, so I drank my pink dew there instead. Then, when the dew at Teen Titans began to taste bland, I crawled back to PJO.

Life: it's all about migration.

Well, not that I've given you some lovely informative pizza to digest, why don't we move on to the next segment, where I complain about PJO pairings, both canon and crack.

Stupid Ships & Other Stories (not really)

Most of the pairings for PJO are pretty lame and sad. Usually I stick with the author's choice because the creator knows his or her characters best and usually makes the better pairing decisions anyway, but sometimes I don't agree with them either. But 9.9 out of 10 I find fangirl (or boy, whichever)-created pairings to make little to know sense. I do like some, occasionally, but it depends on how the writer portrays the characters, their relationship, and the storyline and subplots as a whole. In this section I will point out my least favorite ships from PJO and say why I think they're dumb. First up:

Rachel x Octavian

Rachel could do so much better than him and she knows it. She seems more for the heroic type, seeing as she liked Percy, and Octavian is such a backstabber I don't see why she'd be interested in him in the first place. I don't think she'd even try to make him "better" because he is so friggin' annoying and self-centered and arrogant and GRAHH! *shoots lightening bolts at Octavian* Besides, the biggest reason people pair those two up anyway is because they're both oracles to their camps.

Travis x Katie

Cue random dumbness. I mean honestly, that crack pairing literally came from nothing. Do Katie and Travis exchange words in conversation once in the entire first series? In either series? This pairing is so random... I just don't get it. I don't see why anyone even likes it at all.

Hazel x Leo

Nope, not gonna happen. Hazel was seeing Leo as someone whom she loved dearly; not for himself. And don't tell me I'm wrong, because I'm not. Sammy and Leo might look the same but that doesn't make them the same person. I don't really like Frank (or Hazel, actually), but I gotta say, Frazel makes a lot more sense than Lazel.

Percy x Artemis

Wth? I mean honestly, how does that even work? Percy would have to become a god; no, wait, scratch that, he'd have to accept the offer the Olympians gave him in The Last Olympian. That would make things messy right there, because making Percy accept would sound... dumb. Plus, he'd pretty much never get another chance to make his original statement to the gods, and that would also be messy. Just because he's a god, doesn't mean he can uplift a promise no one else will. And I'm sure that the gods wouldn't readily offer Percy the same gift he refused. And Artemis... a maiden goddess. She HATES men. I see that this pairing formed because it gave fanfic writers a way to spark forbidden romance and because Artemis admits that Percy is better than most men. HONESTLY it was just one friggin' COMPLIMENT, jeez.

Annabeth x Luke

Is it just me, or did Annabeth admit in the books that she never loved Luke in that way; only, and ONLY, as a big brother? ANND he died. I know you could make it an "AU", but still, it's stupid to make a pairing based off of two characters; one of which admits in the books that she doesn't like him in a boyfriend way. Luke is so, so much older than Annabeth. What was he? Sixteen, when he found SEVEN-year-old Annabeth? And people complain about the three-age difference in Frazel.

Thalia x Luke & Thalia x Nico

...When did Thalia ever show affection to Luke or Nico? Well, I guess maybe Luke, but when she saw how evil and twisted he'd become, she rejected him and stuck with her friends. In short, both are stupid and stupid.

And STUPIDER.

...Than stupid.

More soon! :D I'm just getting tired so... *yawns* Night!