I love books...that are good not books assigned in school. I like basically anything freaky. I'm obsessed with movies, and I am addicted to the Harry Potter movies. They are amazing...and the 6th one was fucking hilarious.

P.S. I HATE YOU JONAS BROTHERS!

Random Things About me That Most People Don't Care About:

1 I can spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! LOL

2 I know how to sing the alphabet backwards.

3 I do not like cheese.

4 I like the color black.

5 I like all animals except cats - I love them.

6 I am 999,275,613 years old.

7 I hate it when people always actually say Omg when that's totally not awesome and is extremely annoying.

8 I also hate it when teachers assign books to you. I like reading but all the books they assign suck and should be against the law.

9 I celebrate Children's Day, even though I live in New York and not Canada. GO CANADIANS!

10 I have a million oxymorons that confuse people. SEE QUOTES.

11 I am in love with chocolate.

12 I am the #1 Jonas Brother HATER!!

13 I do know what PWNED means

14 I have used PWNED in more than one sentence not including these

Some Random Questions:

If a person is mute (can't talk), and they cough or sneeze, does it make a sound? ULTiMATE QUESTiON NO ONE CAN ANSWER. iF YOU CAN PLZ pm ME WiTH ANSWER BECAUSE i'M DYiNG TO KNOW!!

Why is SpongeBob squareular . . . when his parents are roundular?

If the wicked witch melts in water how does she bathe?

Why the heck is there a beach and fire on SpongeBob?!

Is that even possible?!

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

When something actiony happens in a movie everyone's always like did you see that?! =O Why in the world would I pay 15 bucks for a movie and miss a really important or cool part?!

If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?

You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them?

If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven?

You know the song "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus? In the song she says, "I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I'm thinkin bout." Okay...ummm...what the hell was she thinking about?!

I came up with this question during the election: If someone becomes, say, the 50th president, and has never been president before, and gets re-elected, does that make him the 50th president, the 51st president, or both?

In twilight: I HAVE to ask Stephenie Meyer this question! Stephenie doesn't mention Bella having PMS till the last book, so it never really seemed like a huge detail. Oh, it is! One day my friend asks a very reasonable question, and if you know the answer or know someone that can answer it, PM me!!

The question is:

"When Bella has her period...where does she go?"

Quotes That are Strange or Funny:

Fixing my face and fixing your face are two very different concepts.

When the blind leadeth the blind, get out of the way.

The person who came up with nothing is impossible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... Scary thought...

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

Save the world - recycle homework!

I say this when two things are similar. People never know what the hell I'm talking about. They're exactly the same but different.

95 percent of teens would cry if they saw the jonas brothers on top of a skyscraper ready to jump. Copy and paste this EVERYWHERE if you are among the 5 percent who would shout "JUMP!" I copied and pasted xD I'm such a nice person.

You laugh at a joke that girls are dumping their boyfriends because they're not like Edward Cullen. You laugh even harder when you find out it's actually true.

I'm on a boat mother fucker dont you ever forget!

Take a good hard look at the mother fucking boat

Cuz I jzed in my pants

Funny Things That are too Long to be Considered Quotes:

Funny!

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamn thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!

"Amen," replied the congregation.

This really happened at my Afterschool Last Year

This counselor Zack really pisses me off, but I know just how to ruin him...

I wanna go outside cuz I'm bored, right? So I ask him if I can go outside and he says sure. But then when I get to the front of the room to go out he says:

"Before you go outside you have to say the alphabet backwards." Mind you a whole bunch of other people were watching. Who knows what they did when I left...

He WANTED me to be stumped. He WANTED to embarass me so he could laugh about it. And at first I WAS stumped...until I remembered that I KNOW the alphabet backwards!!

So, in front of everyone, I say it. The look on his face was PRICELESS!! He so didn't expect me to know that at all. He was probably thinking: She's just a dumb blonde! She wouldn't know that!

But it was I who had the last laugh. TEEHEE! PWNED!

Conversation I had with my Friend DASAni (inside joke haha you don't get it!):

DASAni: When I'm 17 I'm moving to Forks, Washington, transfering to Forks high school and while I'm in the parking lot jump in front of a car so Edward will come and save me.

DASAni: takes huge sip of soda

Me: Yeah. And when he DOESN'T and the car HITS you and you DIE, your family will NOT, under ANY circumstances come to ME for your FUNERAL.

DASAni: spits out her soda all over my carpet. thanks, DASAni; now there's a stain!

This is a joke my friend told me:

A man is speeding, so a policeman pulls him over and gives him a speeding ticket. The man is extremely pissed off but continues driving.

A few minutes later the same policeman pulls him over and says:

"I just gave you a speeding ticket, and I'm gonna have to do it again." The policeman hands him a ticket that says 550 dollars

The man says: "Do you have a police horse?"

Policeman: "Yeah. I got one for Christmas."

Man: "Tell Santa that next time, put the dick under the horse, not over it."

Hilarious!! My Personal Favorites are in Bold

(joke)I knew a girl that was so stupid that... she
called me to get my phone number.

She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box
because it said "concentrate."

She put lipstick on her forehead cuz she wanted to
make up her mind.

She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

She tried to drown a fish.

She thought a quarterback was a refund.

She got locked in a grocery store and starved to
death.

She tripped over a cordless phone.

She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

She studied for a blood test.

She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

When she heard that 90 of all crimes occur around the
home, she moved.

When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice.

When she took you to the airport and saw a sign that
said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.

This happened while I was looking for a Father's Day card.

There's a card with a picture of a donkey on the front.

Guy next to me: What's this supposed to say? Dad you're such a jackass? Thank you dad for being such a jackass.

Funny stuff from Harry Potter 6:

"Harry, what is this?"
"Um, dragon balls."

Hermione: She only likes you because she thinks you're the chosen one.

Harry: But I am the chosen one

Hermione: smacks Harry in the head with a newspaper

"That was fun. Most people vomit the first time."

"Do you honestly expect you can walk up to him and ask for his deepest, darkest secret?"

Dumbledore: You must be wondering why I brought you here.

Harry: Actually, now I just go with it.

"Now I know what death is. You're there one minute, and then just...POOF!"

"It's beautiful, isn't it, Harry? The moon?"

"Potter, take Weasley with you. He looks far too happy over there."

"He knows I'm here! He senses my presence."

"He's covered in blood again. Why is it he's always covered in blood?"

"Well it looks like it's his own this time."

Professor: Harry!

Harry: Sir!

Professor: I can't let you go outside this late at night.

Harry: Then I guess you'll have to come with me.