Hi I'm Sen good friend of Kate, Rexa13, Memory, Rae, whatever you want to call her. I'm 21 if you want to believe me. I love Itachi you better back off he's mine. But I'm not as obbesed with him as Kate is with Gaara. She's a little weird when she talks about him, or actually she's weirder than any other person I have ever met in 21 years.

Kate: Are you talking about me? Hugs her Gaara plushie close

Sen: Yep. Why do you care?

Kate: glomps Yays!

Sen: through clenched teeth Get...off...me...now.

Kate: OK!

Sen: When was the last time you had sugar?

Kate: ... I think before I came here.

Sen: Great.

Kate: I love Gaara!!

Sen: I know.

Kate: Gaara can beat Itachi.

Sen: I'm gonna kill you like Itachi would be able to do to Gaara.

Kate: You'd have to catch me first runs

Sen: Finally caught her. Don't worry she's not dead...for now anyways

Kate: Mmmph mmmph mm. translation: I hate you

Sen: Love you too. Oh that reminds me you need to do your h.w. or your teachers won't love you any more remember?

Kate: Noooo

Sen: How did you untie yourself Katie-Watie?

Kate: through clenched teeth I thought...I told...You to...Never call...Me That.

Sen: Nope.

Paste and copy stuff.

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the World...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in the tiune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

then copy and paste this in your profile

If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...

" If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what,
and if you stand up 4 him he will stand up for you.

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school

He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

This is a poem about a little girl who was abused. If you care at all, post this into your profile

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

my eyes are swollen

I cannot see

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could've made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong,

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long.

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark,

My folks aren't home.

When mommy does come,

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight.

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now,

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says it's my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!" I scream

But it's now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

child abuse: MAKE IT STOP!!

Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now...

I never looked at it this way before:
MENtal illness
MENstrual cramps
MENtal breakdown
MENopause
GUYnecologist
AND ...
When we have REAL trouble, it's a
HISterectomy.

Ever notice how all of women's problems are caused by males?

I Hate Racism...

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me colored"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line (HAH! Copy this into your profile if you find this funny)

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile.

If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

Female Come Backs

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: Do you have a map? Because I am lost in your eyes.
Woman: The only map I've got for you leads straight off a cliff.

Man: Was your father a God, because I swear I can see Heaven in your eyes.

Woman: No, my father was not a God and if you want to see heaven, then I am sure that can be arranged.

GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"

GUYS REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen

There was a guy and a girl were speeding on a motorcycle over 90mph

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No it's not. Please, you're really scaring me!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug! girl hugs him
Guy: Can you take off my helmet put it on yourself? It's bugging me.
(In the paper next morning)
A motorcycle crashed into the side of a building because of brake failure. Two people were on it, but only one survived. The truth was that half way down the road the guy realized that his brakes went out but he did not want to let the girl know. Instead he had her say she loved him felt her hug one last time. Then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.
If you love someone this much, copy this to your page.

Mature Eyes Only:

Body: This may make you stop and think... very true
Why do we sleep in church,
but when the ceremony is over we suddenly wake up?
Why is it so hard to talk about God,
but so easy to talk about sex?
Why are we so bored when we look at a Christian magazine,
but find it easy to read Playboy?
Why is it so easy to ignore a Godly myspace message,
Yet we repost the nasty ones?
Why are churches getting smaller,
But bars and clubs are growing?
Think about it, are you going to repost this?
Are you going to ignore it, cause you think you'll get laughed at?
Just remember God is always watching you.
The Lord said: "If you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny you in front of my father".
Repost this as "Mature Eyes Only."
90 of you won't repost this
God loves you

This next bit here is the cutest, sadest thing ever...

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check
Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart.

((I found on Kitsune Slave's profile.))

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me.
Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

friends visit you in jail, good friends bail you out of jail, best friends are sitting next to you saying "DUDE! that was amazing!"

Distance means nothing to me - it only makes me want to see you more.

To put it nicely, I hope you choke

Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to.

friends give you their umbrella when it is raining, best friends steal yours and scream back at you "RUN FOREST, RUN!"

Why do they call it a crush? Because thats how you feel when they don't feel the same way in return.

MENstrual pain, MENstrual cramps, MENtal anxiety, MENopause... godamnit... all of our problems start with MEN!

aerodynamically, the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know it, so it keeps flying anyway.

It was never love that broke her heart it was losing that love that tore her apart.

'I love you' is eight letters. And so is 'bullshit'

friends comfort you when you're rejected, best friends walk up to him in a public place and say loudly "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless.

I can't cry hard enough for you to hear me.

boys are like purses, cute, full of crap, and easy to replace.

One day, your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

friends help you move, best friends help you move the body.

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.

If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap the motherfucker upside the head

A tear caught by a caring hand, is a soul closer to being healed

Don't lead me on, and leave me confused, any girl would rather be left alone, than have her heart abused.

friends tell you you're too good for him when your dumped, best friends call him up and say "You're gonna die in seven days."

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

When life gives you lemons, stomp on it and say it was fun.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes four to extend my middle finger and tell you to bite me

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

If the heart is one of the strongest muscles, why is it so easy to break?

Smile. It confuses people.

Bravery is just a nice way of saying stupidity

So... what you're saying is, I should cancel my plans to invade China

Knowledge is power; power is the root of all evil. Therefore study to be evil.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

friends ask you why you're crying, best friends already have a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you keep on talking.

friends hide you from the cops, best friends are probably the reason you're running from them in the first place.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

If everything seems to being going well...you have OBVIOUSLY overlooked something...

Mello shoots anyone who calls him a girl, I shoot any bitch who touches my chocolate. Let the battle begin.

When life gives you lemons, go to someone whose life has given vodka and have a party!

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

people are like slinkies, competely useless, but oddly entertaining to watch fall down the stairs.

Boys are like lava lamps: Fun to look at but not very bright

you call me a bitch, bitch is another word for dog, a dog barks, bark is on trees, trees are part of nature, nature, nature is beautiful, you just called me beautiful, thanks for the compliment.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

You were born an original... don't die a copy.

Your right to smoke stops when it interferes with my right to breathe.

My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway

A day without sunshine is like... night.

When life gives you lemons, squirt it in someone's eyes and say their life is worse.

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

Everything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you.

It's okay, pluto. I'm not a planet either.

God, give me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the strength to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to hide the dead bodies of the people I had to kill because they annoyed me.

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

Stand for something, or you'll fall for anything.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

I could've eaten Aplphabets and crapped out a better essay.

Copying from a single source is called plagiarism, copying from multiple source is called research.

When life gives you lemons, smash 'em with a mallet and scream "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?!"

I hear voices, and they don't like you.

Is it possible to scream at the bottom of your lungs?

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

I'm as frustrated with society as a pyromanic in a petrified forest

friendship is like pissing yourself, everyone can see it but only you can feel it.

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Have you ever wondered which hurts most: Saying something and wishing you hadn’t; or saying nothing and wishing you had?

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

"Go forth and set the world on fire." screw the metaphorical, literal all the way

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much

It is a sad day when you fail your IQ test. Its an even sadder day day when you fail your gender test.

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

if you say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Behind every bitch is a guy who made her that way

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love

don't piss me off, go find a bathroom.

If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you.

friends let you make an idiot of yourself in public, best friends are next to you making an idiot of themselves too

At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote.

I’m not clumsy…the floor just hates me.

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit

How is it possible to have a civil war?

friends will help you find your way when you're lost, best friends will be the one messing with your compass, stealing your map and giving you bad directions

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to

If you don't like the way I drive, then get off the sidewalk.

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

They say "guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the gun helps, cuz if you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think too many people would die.

friends will help you learn to drive, best friends will help you roll the car into a lake to collect the insurance money

A piece of cheese could come up with a plan more cunning than that.

I'm not insane... i just do whatever the voices tell me to.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

When life gives you lemons, ask for a lime.

friends help you up when you fall, best friends laugh because they tripped you

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

"I know water doesn't bite! What a stupid thing to say! Water doesn't have to bite you! You drown in it you moron!" -Stewie Griffin

friends go with you to a concert, best friends help you devise a plan to kidnap the band

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she decided to wipe with that. After the girls did their business, they proceeded to go home. The next day one of the woman's husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said: "These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!" "That's nothing" said the other husband "Mine came back with a card stuck to her butt that said... .. ... ... ... ... "From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you." (HAHAHAHAHA!)

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Guys with Emo hair are like a billion times more sexy than other guys

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone.

If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?

If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

Yeah, Im a loser, but I'm the coolest loser you'll ever meet.

When life gives you lemons, entertain yourself for hours thinking how funny it is.

Why is it, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?

Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older sister Reggie. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Reggie.

Don't judge a book by its movie

Sometimes you put walls up, not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world

Nobody talks to that guy. But let me tell you something. Every job I ever had in my life, I talk to that guy. I'd talk to him, I'd find him on purpose and I'd have little chit-chats with him, and I'd be very interested and be like, "By the way, here's a Snickers, that's for you. Peanuts, caramel, put that in your mouth, enjoy that." You know why I talk to that guy? Because when that day finally comes, and he snaps, and he comes into work with a sawed-off shotgun, walkin' through the halls (gunfire noises) and he finally gets to my office, he's gonna be like, "Thanks for the candy." (continues shooting) You laugh now, but you know Monday morning, you're gonna be like, "heyyy, Marcus!" - Dane Cook

((the sayings above are ones that I found on Kitsune Slave's profile.))

FRIENDS:Lend you their umbrella

BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN bh RUN!'

FRIENDS:Never ask for anything to eat or drink.c Shock
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS:Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS:Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you sayin "THAT WAS FRICKING AWSOME"

FRIENDS:Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS:Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS:Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS:Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS:Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS:You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS:Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS:Will confort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS:Will go up to him and say 'its becuase your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS:Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS:Will repost this crappp!

Her hair was up in a ponytail, her favorite dress tied with a bow,

Today was Daddy's Day at school and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home,

Why the kids not might understand, if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid; she knew just what to say,

What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone,

And that was why, once again, she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all,

About a dad she never sees, a dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back for everyone to meet. Children squirming impatiently,

Anxious in their seats.

One by one the teacher called, a student from the class,

To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare,

Each of them was searching, a man who wasn't their.

"Where's her daddy at?"

She heard a boy call out. "She probably doesn't have one." another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say,

"Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her, as she smiled up at her mom,

And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back, she slowly began to speak,

And out of the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique.

"My daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away,

But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know,

All about my daddy and how he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories, he taught me to ride my bike,

He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone,

And though you cannot see him, I'm not standing here alone.

'Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart,

I know because he told me he'll forever be in my heart." with that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest,

Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress.

And somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears,

Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love, of a man not in her life,

Doing what was best for her, doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd,

She finished with a voice so soft, but it's message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much; he's my shining star,

And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far.

You see he is a Marine, and died just this past year,

When a roadside bomb hit his convoy, and taught Canadians to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away,"

And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day.

And to her mother's amazement, she witnessed with surprise,

A room full of daddies and children, all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside,

Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him by her side.

"I know you're with my daddy," to the silence she called out,

And what happened next, made believers out of those once filled with doubt.

Not one of them could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed,

But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant, long-stemmed, pink rose.

And a child was blessed for only a moment, by the love of her shining star,

And given the gift of believing that heaven is never too far.

I Suffer From CRS (Can't Remember Shit)

Real Love Stories Never Have An Ending

"Then the stupid idiot had to die." --Mr. Shibata (We were talking about a series and the author never finished it but instead rewrote book 3 in a different POV.)

The Female of the Species

by Rudyard Kipling

When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride,
He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside.
But the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

When Nag the basking cobra hears the careless foot of man,
He will sometimes wriggle sideways and avoid it if he can.
But his mate makes no such motion where she camps beside the trail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

When the early Jesuit fathers preached to Hurons and Choctaws,
They prayed to be delivered from the vengeance of the squaws.
'Twas the women, not the warriors, turned those stark enthusiasts pale.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

Man's timid heart is bursting with the things he must not say,
For the Woman that God gave him isn't his to give away;
But when hunter meets with husbands, each confirms the other's tale –
The female of the species is more deadly than the male.

Man, a bear in most relations – worm and savage otherwise, –
Man propounds negotiations, Man accepts the compromise.
Very rarely will he squarely push the logic of a fact
To its ultimate conclusion in unmitigated act.

Fear, or foolishness, impels him, ere he lay the wicked low,
To concede some form of trial even to his fiercest foe.
Mirth obscene diverts his anger – Doubt and Pity oft perplex
Him in dealing with an issue – to the scandal of The Sex!

But the Woman that God gave him, every fibre of her frame
Proves her launched for one sole issue, armed and engined for the same,
And to serve that single issue, lest the generations fail,
The female of the species must be deadlier than the male.

She who faces Death by torture for each life beneath her breast
May not deal in doubt or pity – must not swerve for fact or jest.
These be purely male diversions – not in these her honour dwells.
She the Other Law we live by, is that Law and nothing else.

She can bring no more to living than the powers that make her great
As the Mother of the Infant and the Mistress of the Mate.
And when Babe and Man are lacking and she strides unclaimed to claim
Her right as femme (and baron), her equipment is the same.

She is wedded to convictions – in default of grosser ties;
Her contentions are her children, Heaven help him who denies! –
He will meet no suave discussion, but the instant, white-hot, wild,
Wakened female of the species warring as for spouse and child.

Unprovoked and awful charges – even so the she-bear fights,
Speech that drips, corrodes, and poisons – even so the cobra bites,
Scientific vivisection of one nerve till it is raw
And the victim writhes in anguish – like the Jesuit with the squaw!

So it comes that Man, the coward, when he gathers to confer
With his fellow-braves in council, dare not leave a place for her
Where, at war with Life and Conscience, he uplifts his erring hands
To some God of Abstract Justice – which no woman understands.

And Man knows it! Knows, moreover, that the Woman that God gave him
Must command but may not govern – shall enthral but not enslave him.
And She knows, because She warns him, and Her instincts never fail,
That the Female of Her Species is more deadly than the Male.

All of us are crazy in one way or another. -Yiddish proverb

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

Call me a slut, call me a whore, if u dont like me there's the door. Call me anorexic, call me fat, I can put it on or I can lose that. Call me annoying, call me dumb, excuse me miss I'm having fun. Call me a flirt, call me a fake, that's just me so give me a break. Call me weird, call me a geek, call me what you want, I'm just unique.

Take 3 minutes and try this...it will freak you out...BUT NO CHEATING!

This game has a funny/spooky outcome.

Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It's worth a try.

First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct.

Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it!

1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.

2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want.

3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex.

4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots.

5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. (Go with your instincts!)

6. Finally, make a wish.

And now the key for the game...

1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game.

2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love.

3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out.

4. You care most about the person you put in 4.

5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well.

6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star.

7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3.

8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7.

9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.

10. 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life

NOW...post this bulletin (don't reply) within the hour. IF you do, your wish will come true...

1994!! Do YOU remember the 90s??

Just because you were born in '97 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid. It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons. I am sorry but three conscious years of the 90's just wont cut it. You're a 90's kid if: You remember watching -Doug -Ren & Stimpy -Pinky and the Brain -AAAAAAAH Real Monsters! -Rockos modern Life. -Animaniacs -Gargoyles. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!". You remember -Step by Step -Family Matters -Dinosaurs -Boy Meets World. You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons. You remember reading "Goosebumps" You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not. When everything was settled by -rock paper scissors or -black shoe white shoe or -Ms. Mary Mack. When kick ball was a daily activity. When we used to obey our parents. You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time on a tape. You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular. You remember The Original Game Boy. You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny. You remember watching -The Magic School Bus -Wishbone -Reading Rainbow -and Ghostwriter. You remember when Yo-Yos were cool. You remember those Where's Waldo books. You remember eating Warheads and Splashers Gum. You remember watching -the 1st Batman -Aladdin -Ninja Turtles -Ghost Busters. You remember Ring Pops. If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!" You remember boom boxes vs. CD players. Making cootie catchers and those fortune-telling things, and then predicting your life with them. You played and/or collected "Pogs". One word. . . . . . . .trolls. Windows 95 was the best. You watched the original cartoons of -Rugrats -Wild Thornberry's -Power Rangers -Rocket Power. All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand. You collected those Beanie Babies. Carebears Lambchop's song never ended. Everyone watched the WB. If you even know what an original walkman is. You know the Macarena by heart. "Talk to the hand" . . . enough said. You went to McDonald's to play in the play place. You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground. You remember the fights about who could go highest/fastest on the monkey bars. Before the MySpace frenzy . . . Before the Internet & text messaging . . . Before Sidekicks & iPods . . . Before PlayStation3 or X-BOX 360 . . . Before Spongebob . . . Before Tupac was shot. When light up sneakers were cool. When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs. When gas was 0.95 a gallon. When we recorded stuff on VCRs. You had slap bracelets and you thought that they were the coolest! You actually played outside until it was dark! Way back. Before we realized all this would eventually disappear. Post this in your bulletin if you remember these days . . .