PROFILE UPDATE: Yeah, screw it. Profile clean-up happened. And I'm getting rid of that THING.

PROFILE UPDATE: As of late 2014, I have caught a despairing sense of failure. I feel that most of what I have written is worthless. As such, I will probably not be writing for a very long time. These days, I hang around FiMFiction, Spacebattles and deviantArt. You can reach me there, probably.

T: '1' chapters so far. Next chapter: '40' % complete. HIATUS

Old story of mine that I found on my hard drive. The no-longer-dead-father of Voldemort, Tom Riddle (Senior) has been apprenticed by q, son of Q. He and his companion, amnesiac and deaged clone of Lily-Evans-the-villainess-turned-Goa'uld-named-Isis attend Hogwarts along with a certain Girl-Who-Lived-named-Kelly aaaand...
...proceed to sow chaos and discord in Hogwarts and the Wizarding World in general.

(oh god that sounds so STUPID)

Ideas anyone else can use since I find myself not caring anymore:

Jacks Unite!

Doctor Who/Torchwood crossover. The Warlock gathers four Jacks from across time and space, dumps them into 1879 and gives them a series of challenges. Their mission: to find the key to escape - the Union Jack!

(Jacks featured: Captain Jack Sparrow from the early 18th century, Jack Frost from the late 20th century, General Jack O'Neill from early 21st century and Captain Jack Harkness from the early 201st century)

The Geeky Face of Comedy

What if the Joker were a Geek? Join us as Gotham is terrorised by something new and deadly...

The Land of Confusion

Doctor Who/Ben 10: Alien Force crossover.

Oh Superman, where are you now; that everything's gone wrong somehow?

Ben and Kevin have been overtaken by two intelligences, who then decide to take over the world. As The Beast and the Dalek Emperor join forces to exterminate the universe, it's up to Gwen to find a madman in a box to save the day.

Currently there are no fics in progress. I will, however, post a list of non-canon HP spells I came up with at one time a few years ago.

Frictio Irritanda - Creates an area of no friction, rendering anyone inside the area completely helpless. Lasts 5-10 seconds. Colourless.

Gemini Animax - Duplicates a person. Needs a lot of power. Complex Z-twist.

Cruenta Infernum - The 'Bloody Hell' Curse. Can only be cast by the powerful. Description is in the name. Is cast pointed to the sky.

Expecto Terrorem - Creates an embodiment of terror. Manifests in green, in the same form as a Patronus. Does not need emotional intent, except for the urge to terrify. Wand-motion - point and shoot.

Oscito - Triggers a yawn. Electric blue. Wand-motion is a vertical ellipse. Literally - 'be sleepy'.

Deprimi - Opposite of Cheering Charm. Creates depression. Wand-motions are the exact opposite of a Cheering Charm.

Demorio - Less-known non-dark variation of the Killing Curse. Coloured dark red. 'Point-and-shoot' type of curse.

Liquefacio - Dissolves the target. A Dark and powerful curse. Wand-motion is an inward spiral. Coloured black.

Efflicto - The Exterminator Curse. Does what name suggests. Non-lethal variation, Effligo, is used for bug extermination. Coloured purple and violet respectively. Wand-motion is a sharp jab.

Dimittam Verstri Imperium - Releases the target from the Imperius Curse. Needs to be spelled out clearly. Wand-motion is a down-left slash followed by a clockwise arc combined with counterclockwise twist. Colourless.

Veritatem Revelare - A truth spell. Determines if the target is being truthful. Wave jab combination.

Anima Occidione Caedo – Soul Annihilation Curse. Mainly used to destroy a horcrux. Wand-motion unknown. Same colour as the AK.

Spiraculum Dei – The ‘God’s Breath’. Soul Creator. Rare and powerful. Coloured bluish-white. Wand-motion and required power levels are unknown.

Scribens Identificatio - Primarily used to identify handwriting. Wand-motion is a complicated spirally swirl. Colourless.

Sanguinis Glaciem - Blood-Freezing Curse. Coloured red, somewhere between the Stunning spell and the Cruciatus Curse.

Anima Imperio - Soul Control Curse. A truly dark variation of the Imperious curse - the victim retains their free will, but they can't exactly do anything about it, for the curse skips the mind and goes straight for the soul. Wand-motion is unknown. It's filed under Soul Magic.

Travel between universes - Library analogy.

"Imagine the Multiverse as a library of infinite size.

Billions and billions of parallel bookshelves, dozens of miles high, filled from top to bottom with books. (Granger, stop drooling and listen.) The bookshelves are the walls between the universes, while the walkways between the bookshelves are the universes themselves.

Well, these or realities, dimensions or whatever you want to call it. There are no visible corridors between the shelves, so whoever wishes to travel between the walkways, must resort to climbing over the shelves, or even through the shelves. Well, that, and hope the whole thing won't fall over, which it does. This is why inter-dimensional travel is so dangerous; you're not just risking your own life, or dimension, but ALL of them. Get it?

Good.

Now, I act differently. You see, just because the corridors are not visible, doesn't mean they don't exist. They exist as a very loose definition of corridors, and in reality are just secret doors in the shelves. They are not always there, or can only be opened on specific dates, or are sometimes placed above the floor level entirely. Some corridors are a set of trapdoors in the plumbing, some are in the ventilation shafts. Some might even be outside of the building. I don't know all of them. Only the Guardians do. I call them the Librarians. Nobody knows what they really are.

So, as I was saying, there are all sorts of hidden corridors. Some were found entirely by accident by desperate people and only consist of a couple of doorways. Others were found by the bookworms. And everyone knows an annoying kid who can figure out nearly every nook and cranny there is and then laughs at those who could not.

And I was that kid."

--some bad OC I came up with when I was still young and stupid.