TacosOfEpicness here! editing 2012 me from 2016. this is gonna be great. it's 4 in the morning. help

This account was made to stay updated on fics, not much else.

90 of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10 that would be laughing/hacked the site in the first place, copy and paste this to your Profile. (edit: the circle of irony is complete)

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingies, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! (What do you think I'm doing, eating fudge?(yum... fudge...)) (edit: I'm hilarious)

If you have ever laughed at something that you wouldn't normally laugh at because it was really late at night, copy this into your profile.(All… the… time…)

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed, here are some actual labels on consumer goods. Comments in parentheses by me.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Awww, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But it's 'just' a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (No! You're kidding! Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (Doesn't this save time, though? Who's body?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (Yes, we could really cut down on accidents by keeping those coughing 5-year-olds off forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (Dang it...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (So, we can't use it... where? Outer space?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Ok, now I'm curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (OMG! No way!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Somebody got paid big bucks to write that one.)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (Good job, you just crushed some kid's dream.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (I wonder how many times that's happened...)

On a hair straightener: "Do not use in water." (Yeah, that helps a lot, trying to straighten your hair while you're getting it wet.)

On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions: "Put on a fork and eat." (No, really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On a can of bug spray: “Harmful to bees”. (What did you think they would be harmful to?)

On a life-saving device: “This is not a life-saving device”. (Note to self, don't buy from this company)

On a TV remote control: “Not dishwasher safe”. (So that's why it won't work anymore...)

A New Zealand insect spray: "Not tested on animals." (Obviously.. you tested it on insects. Duh.)

A Television Owner’s Manual: "Do not pour liquids into your television set." (Oops. Should have said that earlier in the manual, people.)

A VCR box says: "Instructional video on hooking up your VCR included." (How, exactly, are you supposed to WATCH it, then?)

A can of self-defense pepper spray: "May irritate eyes." (Darn it! I bought this to season my french fries!)

A can of windscreen de-icing spray: "Spray works in sub-zero temperatures." (Oh, good, now I can get rid of my other one that only works in freezing temperatures above zero.)

A cardboard sun shield: "Do not drive with sun shield in place." (I wonder why they felt the need to put that on there.)

A cartridge for a laser printer: "Do not eat toner." (Awww... but it tastes good with cake!)

A computer mouse: "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." (Maybe if they're my boss...)

A container of underarm deodorant: "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." (Amazing.)

A dishwasher carries this warning: "Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher." (Oh... KIDS, OUT OF THE DISHWASHER!)

A popular manufactured fireplace log: "Caution - Risk of Fire." (What's it supposed to do, if not that?)

A rubber ball toy "Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." (Isn't that why I'm buying it?)

A sharpening stone: "Knives are sharp." (Says the knife sharpener...)

A snowblower warns: "Do not use the snowblower on a roof." (And how exactly am I supposed to get a snowblower on the roof?)

A baby stroller: "Remove child before folding." (Oh. I'll be right back...)

A pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists: "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." (That's why they said I needed to wear a helmet. Oops.)

An electric router made for carpenters: "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." (Shoot. There goes my quick fix to this cavity.)

An "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter: "Do not use near fire, flame or sparks." (Okay... then what am I supposed to do with it?)

A rock garden: "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." (Ah. So it's like, a 50% chance, then?)

A Fruit Roll-Up snack: "Remove plastic before eating." (So that's why it tasted so weird...)

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!

If you could read that, (edit: you're Homestuck trash) paste this to your profile.

Here're some random quizzes. Take them and highlight the ones that apply to you.

You Know You’re a Book Addict If:

blah blah

You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend. (Well, Nico doesn't have a girlfriend. Yet…) (edit: Aaah also, Nico is gay as hell. betchu didn't see that one coming huh you aromantic pos)

blah blah

I am a book addict and proud of it! If you are as well, then copy and paste this on your profile page.

PREP

You own a cell phone.
You own something from Abercrombie.
You own something from PacSun.
you own something from Hollister.
You own something from American Eagle.
You love/like going to the mall.
You own an iPod/MP3 player.
You love Starbucks.
You have been called a brat.
You hate buying things that are on sale.
You have more than one house.

1/11

GOTHIC

Black is one of your favorite colors.
You have thought about death. (If you mean Nico, then yes.)
You wear chains.
You like heavy metal.
You've shopped at Hot Topic.
You have worn black lipstick.
Your hair was/is dark.
You dislike preps.
You're an atheist/ satanist/agnostic.

3/9

PUNK

You can skateboard.
You've worn plaid.
You like Converse
You hate MTV
You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair.
You dislike pink.
You wear/wore skateboarding shoes.

2/7

GEEK

You love the computer.
You like Harry Potter.
You are supposed to wear glasses/contacts.
You love/like reading.
You were/are in a band.
You don't care what you look like.
You have a curfew.
You always do your homework.
You never miss school unless you're sick.

6/9

EMO

You cut yourself over depression.
You have been depressed.
You have black rimmed glasses.
You like the band Evanescence.
You cry easily.
You like emo music.
You hate being called emo.
You keep/have kept a journal/diary.
You have written a sad poem.
you think emo chicks/Guys are hot.

0/10

GHETTO/GANGSTA

You like rap.
You are/was in a gang.
You wear/wore rubberbands in your pants.
You swear once in a while or a lot.
You have freestyled.
You have worn high tops with the tongue flipped out.
You can break dance.

0/7

HARDCORE/SCENE

You like loud music.
You love/loved the Ninja Turtles.
You never walk anywhere.
You wear slip-on shoes.
You wear/wore Vans.
You like the band panic! at the disco.
You wear band t-shirts.
People have called you a freak and meant it.
You love to "hardcore" dance.
hair has been dyed more than 1 color.

3/10

ATHLETIC

You watch/watched the Superbowl.
You own track shoes or other sports related shoes.
You collect your jerseys.
you have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards (more like a floor space)
You have posters or plaques of famous athletes.
Your garage consists of sports equipment
You belong/belonged to a school team.
You are going/did go to a sports summer camp
You have a specific number.

edit: ok 2016 me time

PREP

You own a cell phone.
You own something from Abercrombie.
You own something from PacSun.
you own something from Hollister.
You own something from American Eagle.
You love/like going to the mall.
You own an iPod/MP3 player. (edit: nobody does anymore, bro)
You love Starbucks.
You have been called a brat.
You hate buying things that are on sale.
You have more than one house.

4/11

GOTHIC

Black is one of your favorite colors.
You have thought about death.
You wear chains.
You like heavy metal.
You've shopped at Hot Topic.
You have worn black lipstick. (edit: it was a Roxy cosplay don't judge)
Your hair was/is dark.
You dislike preps.
You're an atheist/satanist/agnostic.

6/9 (edit: it was snowing and raining outside which meant there was no sun, which I was very happy about. a bunch of preps stared at me. i put up my middle finger at them.)

PUNK

You can skateboard.
You've worn plaid.
You like Converse
You hate MTV
You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair.
You dislike pink.
You wear/wore skateboarding shoes.

2/7

GEEK

You love the computer.
You like Harry Potter.
You are supposed to wear glasses/contacts.
You love/like reading.
You were/are in a band.
You don't care what you look like.
You have a curfew.
You always do your homework.
You never miss school unless you're sick.

7/9

EMO

You cut yourself over depression.
You have been depressed.
You have black rimmed glasses.
You like the band Evanescence.
You cry easily.
You like emo music.
You hate being called emo.
You keep/have kept a journal/diary.
You have written a sad poem.
you think emo chicks/Guys are hot.

5/10 (edit: all ironically of course)

GHETTO/GANGSTA

You like rap.
You are/were in a gang.
You wear/wore rubberbands in your pants.
You swear once in a while or a lot.
You have freestyled.
You have worn high tops with the tongue flipped out.
You can break dance.

2/7 (edit: jeez can we be a little less blatantly racist up in here)

HARDCORE/SCENE

You like loud music.
You love/loved the Ninja Turtles.
You never walk anywhere.
You wear slip-on shoes.
You wear/wore Vans.
You like the band panic! at the disco.
You wear band t-shirts.
People have called you a freak and meant it.
You love to "hardcore" dance.
hair has been dyed more than 1 color.

5/10 (edit: omg had i really not been into P!ATD at the time oh man)

ATHLETIC

You watch/watched the Superbowl.
You own track shoes or other sports related shoes.
You collect your jerseys.
You have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards
You have posters or plaques of famous athletes.
Your garage consists of sports equipment
You belong/belonged to a school team.
You are going/did go to a sports summer camp
You have a specific number.

4/9

Okay, that's all for quizzes, more copy and pasters

Just because she once liked Percy doesn't make her the worst girl in the series! If you think people should stop hating on Rachel Elizabeth Dare, copy and paste.

Award yourself five points and copy and paste this if you've read this far!

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile

If you still have to think 'righty tightey, left loosey' when opening, well, anything, copy this into your profile.

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" (That's a really good question...I wonder... Waitwaitwait! I know! They die!)

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who the tarter sauce is drinking my water!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with. (edit: oh my god)

Why is dyslexic so hard to spell?

Why is verb a noun?

Here's what ya do: mark your answers with a little 'x' in the () if its true, but BE HONEST (I was)!! Then copy and paste it onto your profile!

1 (x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking

2 (x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking

3 (x) You have ran into a glass/screen door

4 () You have jumped out of a moving vehicle

5 (x) You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks

6 (x) You have ran into a tree

7 ()It IS possible to lick your elbow

8 (x) You tried to lick your elbow

9 (x) You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm

10 (x) You just tried to sing them

11 (x) You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen

12 (x) You have choked on your own spit

13 () You have seen the the Matrix and still don't get it.. (No, I haven't seen it...)

14 (x) You didn't notice that in the last question 'the' was spelled twice

15 (x) You just looked at it

21 () You've fallen asleep in class (Almost, though...)

22 (x) Sometimes you just stop thinking

23 (x) You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about

24 (x) People are often shaking their heads and walk away from you

25 () You are often told to use your 'inside voice'

26 (x) You use your fingers to do simple math

27 () You have eaten a bug

28 (x) You are taking this test when you should be doing something important.

29 (x) You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it

30 (x) You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand or pocket

31 () You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don't even when you know it won't happen to you, like on a myspace...

32 (x) You break a lot of things

34 (x) You sometimes tilt your head when you' re confused

35 (x) You have fallen out of your chair before

36 (x) When you're laying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling/wall.

38 () You called a friend and then completely forgot what you were gonna say

39 (x) You have spelled your name wrong

40 (x) You have drawn a disformed heart

Wow! You have gotten this far! (edit: yeah tell me about it)

20 Percy Jackson Questions

1) Percabeth or Prachel? Percabeth, Annabeth's awesome.

2) Favorite guy character? Do you even have to ask? PERCY HAS AWESOMENESS FLOWING THROUGH HIS VEINS!

3) Favorite girl character? Annabeth.

4) Favorite god? Hades.

5) Favorite goddess? Hestia. =)

6) Zeus, Poseidon, or Hades? Hades.

7) Is Luke hot? Uh, not really. Handsome, I guess, but I never imagined him as 'cute'.

8) Would you join the hunters? Yep.

9) Archery or sword fighting? That's tough, but... Yeah that's tough. Maybe if I had some really cool arrows... Oh, but a magic jewlery sword? I don't know. (edit: archery, totally)

10) Iris Messaging or Hermes Express? Iris Messaging. Hermes is cool, though.

11) Favorite minor god/goddess? Iris. She threw Ding Dongs at some monsters, of course Iris! Oh, sorry, not Ding Dongs, 'gluten-free, no-sugar-added, vitamin-enriched, soy-free, goat-milk-and-seaweed-based cupcake simulations'.

12) Favorite book? Tie between The Last Olympian and Son of Neptune.

13) Least favorite? The Titan's Curse. Annabeth is gone for most of the book! And Zoe's really rude.

14) Would you live year round at Camp Half-Blood or just go in the summer? Year round! =D

15) Favorite couple? Percabeth!!

16) Are you a demi-god? Yep.

17) Who would be your parent? Hades.

18) Favorite minor character? Juniper.

19) Ethan or Luke? Luke. Ethan raised Kronos when Percy saved his life, then proceeded to try and kill him.

20) Favorite monsters? Kelli the empousi and the Minotaur.

Yay!

XP