MaxAttack
 Chances are you clicked on my profile because I pissed you off. Congratulations! Now just pound your keyboard furiously because you know I'm better than you and can't accept it. If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. Pick the ones that fit you: For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.) I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. You say prep - I say goth You say pink - I say black you say Jesse McCartney - I say DIE!!! You say Paris Hilton - I say what the heck? You say Pop - I say Rock You say Hannah Montana - I say Linkin Park you say im weird - I say I'm different If you think (or know) you're obsessed with warriors, copy and paste this into your profile If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile (I think it would be cool to be a warrior cat!!) 92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breath. Copy this into your profile if you'd be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off. Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God! I smile because I have no idea what's going on! I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends. One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought 96 of teens wont stand up for God...copy and paste if ur one of the 4 who will. If you take comfort in the fact that God gave the world his only son, add this to your profile. Think of it this way! The earth is the size of a golfball compared to the rest of the universe! And god chose the golfball! 97 of you wont repost this: If you believe in GOD the FATHER, GOD the SON and GOD the HOLY GHOST, put this in your profile! So there was this missionary in Africa and he finds two guys fighting. So he breaks up the fight and one guy needs to go to the doctor so the missionary pays for it. Amazingly, whether you believe or not, (\_/) PUT THIS ON YOUR PAGE † Christianity is NOT Just A Religion † At least 15 people in this world The only reason anyone would ever hate you A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you You mean the world to someone. You are special and unique. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you. When you make the biggest mistake ever, When you think the world has turned its back on you Always remember the compliments you received. I would rather have one rose and a kind word Happiness keeps You Sweet, Copy and paste this into your profile I believe in Jesus Christ the Lord as my savior and redeemer, and could not live without him in my life. If you do too, and aren't afraid to admit it, copy and paste this into your profile, signature, or whatever, and add your name to the list. Kakashis-First-Kiss, jedigal125, iloveJacobandJasper, Vampirewithasecret Sad I went to a party, Mom I felt proud of myself, I made a healthy choice, I got into my car, Now Im lying on the pavement, My own bloods all around me, Im sure the guy had no idea, So why do people do it, Mom Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom Someone should have taught him, My breath is getting shorter, Mom I wish that you could hold me Mom, one message: dont drink and drive! A fraction of a second I was walking around in a store. I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back saying "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me, "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "What if we checked again, just in case you do have enough money?'' "OK" he said "I hope that I have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added "I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mommy can give it to my sister. He heard me! I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose. My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article: 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunken man in a truck, who hit a car, where there was one young lady and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to recover from the coma. Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message. 2) Ignore it as if it never touched you. have a heart Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it? Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master... He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher... He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer... He had no army, yet kings feared him... He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world... He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him... He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us... If you believe in the tiune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost then copy and paste this in your profile If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says... "If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..." NEW School Prayer: Now I sit me down is school If you aren't ashamed to do this, If you are so random that the people around you are banging their heads up against the wall, paste this in your profile. If Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior, and you want everyone visits/sees your profile to know, copy and paste this into your profile. 99.5 percent of all teens would cry if the Jonas brothers were on a 20 story building about to jump. The other 0.5 percent would bring a chair and popcorn. Copy and paste this into your profile if you're one of the 0.5. If you support our troops, copy and paste this in your profile. If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile. If when life gives you lemons, you make orange juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it, copy and paste this in your profile. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. READ THIS: You know you're in 2010 when... 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years. 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don’t have a screenname or myspace. 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV. 6.) Your boss doesn’t even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vice versa copy this into your profile. If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! 98% of teens have been drunk or high. Paste this into your profile if you like bagels. If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile. If you don't do drugs (They are nasty), copy/paste this into your profile. .eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you like beef jerky, copy and paste this into your profile. And now, a couple little pieces of wisdom: Silence is golden, duct tape is silver. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. AND MORE COPY & PASTE STUFF YAY!!! If you've ever walked into a wall, door, table, chair, or other large solid object even when it was in plain sight, copy and paste this in your profile. If you’ve ever run into a glass door that was closed, without knowing it was closed you are normal. If you’ve ever run into a glass door knowing that it was closed, you’re abnormal. I’m abnormal. If you’re like me, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought impossible to choke on), copy this in your profile. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. If you’re like me, copy and paste this in your profile. 98% OF TEENS WON'T STAND UP FOR GOD... REPOST THIS IF YOU'RE ONE OF THE 2% WHO WILL. If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, Battleground Heart, Kaity the Chameleon, Metroid-is-cool, The All Real Numbers Symbol,SpaceCruiserStarr7833,Music-Luver94, Bloodra, D.C. 155, Catriona The Hedgehog If it drives you nuts when your left wondering what people thought of your stories because people never review your stuff, copy and paste this into your profile. A messege to those who are not suffering from peer pressure: Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, Mina the Mischevious, blondy-10-22,Kakashi's kid Aj 13, xXnarutofan_22Xx , MJLS, Little Hobbit, knuckles13, Xtrasupershadowgirl, LovelyBubbles07, Bloodra, Catriona The Hedgehog If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism If you like to write, copy/paste this into your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. 1 percent of the people on this site actually LIKE those b-- Flame Rising and Wingless Rain (ESPECIALLY Flame Rising) if youre one of the 99 percent that dont like one or either of them, me included, copy this and paste it into your profile at once 90% of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10% that would be laughing at them, copy and paste this to your profile If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile. If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you have ever done something without even realizing it until you've done it, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have used a word over and over again so much that you may consider using it as your catchphrase, copy and paste this to your profile. Sometimes you sit in your/a room and stare at something for at least an hour and then you snap out of your trance and decide to do something, if this is true then copy and pase this to your profile. If you think that idiot girl in the Eggo waffle commercial should give her father some of those stupid waffles already, copy and paste this into your profile. Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that your are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. you think Colorado's driver's license age requirement (18) sucks, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever been hit/kicked/etc. by a girl smaller than you, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are amused/amazed by Team Rocket's persistence (Eleven seasons of failure!), copy and paste this into your profile. "REMEMBER WHEN" REMEMBER WHEN .. Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the Boy friend and boyfriend. A single space tells the difference-and its a big one. No boy is worth crying over, and the one who is won't make you cry... (((((True love))))) -In the newspaper the next day a motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that the breaks were out and he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him she loved him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so that she would live even if it meant that he would die. If you would do the same for a person you love then copy this into your profile If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. That's all I've got for copy and paste this to your profile thingys. I'll add more sometime later. Funny conversions... During Biology Class... Mr. P (Bio professor): "Sometimes I wonder about human intellance." Me- trying to open a fruit snack packet with my teeth, snd failing- "Huh?" Mr. P- "I rest my case" what it means... 1. Kiss on the hand I adore you 2. Kiss on the cheek I just want to be friends 3. Kiss on the neck I want you 4. Kiss on the lips I love you 5. Kiss on the ears I am just playing 6. Kiss anywhere else Lets not get carried away 7. Look in your eyes Kiss me 8. Hand on your waist I love you to much to let you go 9.Playing with your hair I can't live without you 44 things a girl would die for 1-touch her waist are you remembering this? 6-hug her keep reading 11-smile with her Are you thinking about someone? 16-always hug her and say "i love you" when you see her oh, and on that last one... u need to show her you mean it too 21-kiss her on the lips 26-don't lie to her are you still reading this? u better be, its important 31. Hold her close when she's cold so she can hold you too. remember this next time you are with her 36. when people diss her, stand up for her. take her side no matter what. MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED 41. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams. 42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears. 43. Take her for long walks at night. (she'll feel safe, if you put your arms around her.) youll never know when she needs just a lil more love repost this in 20 sec. or you will lose the one you care about the most!! Guys Repost: "i would do this for her" Homophobia and You (Author Unknown) I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the prostitute working the streets because no one will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in coma for three weeks, and in another year, I will probably be able to walk again. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear. We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to aviod getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I know live with another woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system because I am male. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as the realized I was transsexual. I am the persn who feels guity because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always dea with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because the closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male. Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.
Please re-post this and add your name to the growing list if you wish to join this movement, or e-mail this messasge to the moderators of FFN. Thank You! If You Grew Up in the 90's Just because you were born in '97 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid. It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons. I am sorry, I'm an Alpha male. And girls want to fuck alpha males. Let it piss you off as much as you want, but you know it's completely true. That girl you like who is kinda cute in a weird way, but is totally sweet and you have the biggest crush on? The one who keeps going back to guys who treat her wrong for reasnos you don't understand? The one who calls you up at 1 am to cry about how her boyfriend hasn't called her in 3 days, and no matter how long you listen to her, she'll never think of you as anything other than asexual? The one who will curl up next to you on the couch, hug you close, kiss you on the cheek, and never let you fucking touch her beyond that? Yeah, I'm fucking her. The hot girl who won't even look at you when you nod at them and smile? The one who laughs when you trip in the hallway and drop your stuff? The one who comes up and coyly aks for your help with her homework, and then pretends you don't exist once you finish? Yeah, I'm fucking her too, even harder. The geeky girl you think might be enough like you that you have a chance with her? She plays warcraft on your server, and watches anime, and reads comics? She's so incredible and you just love her so much but you still haven't worked up the courage to tell her how you feel about her? Guess who just sucked me off and told me they'll always love me? And what's more? I laugh at guys like you. When you cry about how much girls treat you bad, and wonder why they can't just see that you're a nice guy who would always treat them right? I nod and tell you to hang in there, you'll find someone right for you someday, don't give up hope man. But inside? I'm laughing my ass off at you you pathetic fuck. Every girl you set your sights on, who isn't a disgusting pig-monster, I'm going to fuck 6 ways from sunday before you even tell her you think she's cute. I won't bother trying when you finally settle for that 350 pound girl who works at hardees, you can have that. Anything else I'm going to cum on her face before you get those lips near it. And the biggest reason I laugh? It's not me doing all this. It's the girls. When you cry about how lonely you are? Or talk about how you just want to curl up and dissapear, and all that emo bullshit? You're triggering her "Don't Fuck" instinct something feirce. You're a miserable weak coward, why would she want your genes? Feel free to buy her a new computer and help her decorate her apartment, you're great for that. But her baby-maker is barking orders at her, telling her to wrap her legs around me and hold on for as long as she can. She needs it, on a primal level you'll never get to see first hand, even if you do get a chance to fuck her. Sooner or later one of them will lay back and spread their legs, but you won't see any hunger in their eyes. They won't beg you to love them forever and make them yours. You won't know what it's like to see her animal side needing you as much as she needs to eat and breath. And she's cheating on you, I promise that. When she sits around quiet and uncomfortable, acting irritable and irrational towards you, wanting you to just back away and leave her alone, it's not her period. It's because I haven't called her for a day or two and her instincts are telling her to go find me. The primitive section of her brain doesn't want to risk smelling like another man when she gives herself to me, she wants me to know she's completely mine. We do things together she tells you she never would. Her pooper? Mine. I want to give her a facial? of course. I want her to suck the cum out of my dick, even though I just finished pumping away at her ass? she's never going to tell me no. She doesn't WNAT to tell me no. She wants me to know she'll do anything it takes to keep me. She'll rim my ass while she's down there sucking me off if it means pleasing me. She'll drink my cum from a shotglass. She'll wear a buttplug when we go out to dinner. She'll sleep handcuffed to my headboard. Anything. And then she'll go home to you and tell you she's not in the mood today. I'd say you should become an hero, but you being aruond makes her want a real man all the more, so keep fagging it up emo bitches, I'll keep that pussy warm while you're crying in the corner. Anime is not for nerds For nerds? Well excuse me... Some people grew up with it and is part of there culture aka asians. Also its a good thing to do when ur bored. your list of anime is prob less thn 0.001% of whats actually on the market. Not all anime are or children and nerds there are large varietys targeted at different groups. Also teen titans is not really anime tho drawn in a very similar/same style as anime. There are certain rules it does not follow making it a cross breed And yes i am awfully offended at your steriotyping. Thankyou. P.s. and no animes not just about hentai... Add more variety to your gallery... My girlfriend is cute and smart and she's awesome My girlfriend is cute and smart and she's an anime faggot like me The other night she and I were cuddling in bed and she started humping me and whispering "oniichan oniichan" and that turned me the fuck on so I called her "oneechan" and then she stopped and looked at me and I said "what is it" to which she replied "I always wanted a twin brother so we could fuck all the time" (she's an only child and all I have is a younger brother) so all night long we were humping and calling each other oniichan and oneechan and I came in my underwear and we were pretending we were brother and sister trying to sexually please each other without having sex and it was fucking hot Attention Newgrounders ATTENTION NEWGROUNDERS, FACT: NEWGROUNDS WAS FUNNY WHEN WE WERE ALL 12 LIVING IN THE SUBURBS LISTENING TO LINKIN PARK WATCHING DRAGONBALL Z DRINKING PEPSI WHILE PLAYING HALO CO-OP ON THE EASIEST SETTING DURING WHICH WE CONSUMED DORITOS AND LOOKED AT PAINTBALL GUNS ON EBAY IN INTERNET EXPLORER CONNECTED THROUGH AOL ON A 56K MODEM BEFORE HOPPING INTO OUR BALDING FATHERS' LATEST MIDLIFE-CRISIS-IMPULSE-SPONSORED JAPANESE-BUILT SUV TO HEAD TO THE MALL AND GET MORE SKATEBOARDING SHOES AND THIRD-RATE IRREGULAR LEVIS AND MOUNTAIN BIKE PARTS BEFORE HEADING HOME, VOTING DEMOCRAT AND MASTURBATING TO THE LATEST SEARS CATALOG WHILE HUFFING PAINT IN YOUR GARAGE BEFORE TALKING TO PEDOPHILES ON AIM PRETENDING TO BE WHATEVER CAMWHORE THEY'RE RANTING ABOUT ON MYSPACE WITH A MATRIX QUOTE/ANIME CHARACTER NAME/TRIPLE SIX-ASTERISK-PARENTHESES-SURROUNDED SCREENNAME BEFORE HEADING TO YOUR SUPPOSED "GOOD SCHOOL" IN THE MORNING TO BUY MORE POT TO SMOKE DURING YOUR COUNTER-STRIKE LAN PARTY WITH JIMMY AND THE REST OF HIS FRIENDS TAKING RITALIN AND ADDERALL AND PROZAC EIGHT TIMES A DAY BEFORE TAKING A CASUAL PASS AT LOCAL, STATE OR NATIONAL GOVERNMENTIAL FIGURES, LEGISLATURE, OR STRUCTURE TO APPEAR EDGY AND INTELLIGENT IN FRONT OF YOUR BUDWEISER-SNEAKING, LIMP-WRISTED, NEAR-TO-COLUMBINE SOCIOPATHIC "DEEP" FRIENDS WHO PLAY THE VICTIM WHEN THEY START LOSING ARGUEMENTS SIX DAYS BEFORE THEIR BOTCHED SUICIDE ATTEMPT SIMPLY BECAUSE SCHOOL TRAMP NUMBER TWELVE WOULDN'T GO UNDER THE BLEACHERS WITH THEM TO LET THEM GET TO SECOND BASE BEFORE THEIR THIRTEENTH BIRTHDAY. Beat Up a Girl when I was 13, I tied up this girl that was 12 with a jumprope, then beat the fuck out of her. By the time I was done, her lip was split, her wrists were bleeding from the rope cuttin into them, one of her eyes was swollen shut, she was missing two teeth, her small tits will entirely black and blue, her pussy was bleeding, and I’m fairly sure that several bones in her feet were broken. When I let her down, she crumpled on the floor and went into a fetal position and just hugged her legs to her chest and sobbed quietly. I suddenly got very aroused seeing that, so I pulled out my dick (I has actally hit puberty 12, and was hairy, balls dropped and everything functioning) and started jerking off quietly. Eventually, I started to breathe harder, and she noticed what I was doing, and she just looked at me with this look of absolute horror on her face. It was at that moment that I climaxed and sprayed probably my biggest load of cum ever all over face and chest. Then, I picked up her torn shirt from the ground, wiped off my dick and tossed it to her. I told her to clean herself up and that if she ever told anyone, I would go to her house and kill her while she slept, and that if anyone asked who hurt her, she should say a bunch of highschool kids did it. When I think back on it, I think she was the first girl I ever loved. ...god I’m fucked up. paste this is your profile if this happened to you Last night my girlfriend came home earlier than she ever has and caught me, naked, watching porn, and stroking it with a mask and snorkel on. There's not really much to say at that point. She walked right past me and went into the bedroom. I quickly turned the porn off, put on some pants, and took the mask and snorkel off. Five minuets later she came out of the bedroom and asked how my day was... it was like she didn't just catch me throttling myself with a mask and snorkel on. The rest of the evening went as normal. We had baked chicken and green beans for dinner, and then watched the simpsons. I don't really don't know what else to say. Calvin lay there in bed, next to his tiger. His fourteenth birthday was tomorrow. He was getting older, puberty striking at his mind, voice, and body. He kissed Hobbes on the cheek, puling him closer and thanking him for being his friend. Then it happened. It had been happening often since he was thirteen and he had no control over it. His erection tented his boxers, pressing against his friend's rump. "Stop.." Hobbes mumbled with a growl, pushing him away. Calvin turned onto his back, pulling his under shorts down and revealing his standing pillar, about five inches. Average, he figured. He shook Hobbes awake. He didn't wake easily and grumbled and growled, but eventually sat up. "What, Calvin?" He asked angrily, wanting very much to go back to sleep. "I love you." "I love you too.." Hobbes said awkwardly. 'What is this about?' He wondered. "Do you really love me?" "Yeah, why?" Hobbes sat up further, sleep forgotten. "I want to mate with you.." Calvin blushed. "Wait! What? You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air. I whistled for a cab and when it came near the liscence plate said "fresh" and had dice in the mirror. If anything, I could say that this cab was rare, but I though "nah, forget it, yo home to Bel Air"! I pulled up to the house at about seven or eight, yelled to the cabbie, yo homes, smell you later. Looked at my kingdom, and I was finally there, to sit on my throne, as the Prince of Bel Air. Have you heard of the "Chuck Norris Facts"? There are more than 50,000 jokes making their way around the Internet that purport to be "facts" all playing off my movie roles as a "tough guy" and my history as a martial arts champion. But they aren't "jokes" to those who spread them – they're "facts." Here are a few of my favorites: "When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.""Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.""Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris." These "facts" have become a phenomenon – a fad spread mainly by young people of high school and college age. It's hard to explain why these things happen – how they take on a life of their own. Naturally, over the past couple years as this wildfire has been raging, people have asked me, "What do you think of all this?" My answer is always the same: Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. And, thankfully, most are just promoting harmless fun. (But be careful if you go searching for "Chuck Norris Facts" on the Internet, because some are just not appropriate for kids.) Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of the craze of "Chuck Norris Facts." It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. I'm so grateful for my fans. Who knows, maybe these one liners will prompt some one to seek out the real facts about me and the beliefs that have shaped my life and my career. While I have as much fun as anyone else reading and quoting them, let's face it, most "Chuck Norris Facts" describe someone with supernatural, superhuman powers. They're describing a superman character. And in the history of this planet, there has only been one real Superman. It's not me. Let me illustrate using a few of the claims being made about me in the various lists of "Chuck Norris Facts": Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises." I've got a bulletin for you, folks. I am no superman. I realize that now, but I didn't always. As six-time world karate champion and then a movie star, I put too much trust in who I was, what I could do and what I acquired. I forgot how much I needed others and especially God. Whether we are famous or not, we all need God. We also need other people. If your whole life is spent trying to make money and you neglect the people important in your life, you will create an emptiness deep in your heart and soul. I know. I fell into that trap. I dedicated my whole life to fame and fortune. I had a huge hole in my heart and was miserable until I met my wife, Gena, who brought me back to the Lord. Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live." It's funny. It's cute. But here's what I really think about the theory of evolution: It's not real. It is not the way we got here. In fact, the life you see on this planet is really just a list of creatures God has allowed to live. We are not creations of random chance. We are not accidents. There is a God, a Creator, who made you and me. We were made in His image, which separates us from all other creatures. By the way, without him, I don't have any power. But with Him, the Bible tells me, I really can do all things – and so can you. Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever." There was a man whose tears could cure cancer or any other disease, including the real cause of all diseases – sin. His blood did. His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris. If your soul needs healing, the prescription you need is not Chuck Norris' tears, it's Jesus' blood. Again, I'm flattered and amazed by the way I've become a fascinating public figure for a whole new generation of young people around the world. But I am not the characters I play. And even the toughest characters I have played could never measure up to the real power in this universe. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T COOK THEIR OWN RICE RICE COOKERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY. OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T POP THEIR OWN POPCORN POPCORN POPPERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY. OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T BOIL THEIR OWN PASTA PASTA COOKERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY. OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T SEPARATE THEIR OWN EGGS EGG SEPARATORS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY. OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T MILL THEIR OWN GRAIN GRAIN MILLERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY. OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T PULL THEIR OWN NOODLES PASTA ROLLERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY. DEATH TO ALL JAPANESE WORDS I'm gonna go down to the [vinegared rice topped with raw fish] bar and have some [rice wine]. Afterwards maybe I'll do some [singing along to instrumental versions of popular songs]. I can't stay out too late though, because I have a [empty handed martial arts] lesson in the morning. Maybe later I'll play some [Clump of Souls] on PS2. The Prince sure loves rolling that [clump] around. In the end, I'll probably just end up posting some [perverted fan comics] on the [perversion] board of Four Channel. When I was 12 - it's nothing I'm proud of and I still regret to this day Actually, it's nothing I'm proud of and I still regret to this day. But I digress. When I was 12, I told some of my friends that I thought I was gay. My one friend, Jessica, knew this gay 15 year old guy and showed him my picture. He thought I was cute. We talked for not even two days, and the next day, he came over. He started feeling my dick through my pants, and I felt his. I pulled down his pants, and he had this huge 9 inch boner. I sucked him off, then we did some jacking off to eachother. He did me up the ass for a bit. It REALLY hurt. I couldn't walk right for a few days, and it bled. Then we just jacked eachother off until we came. I felt so bad after that. Mainly because I find sex a mutual thing that you should do in a relationship. Whoever reported me?? Thank you, whoever reported me. Now is threatening to close the account Because I seem to be holding a lottery. Never have I seen so many ingrates. Not that you have to give me money, just so many people taking 4chan for granted and not even trying to understand a absolutely wacky situation. That whole post was for a loan of sorts and trying to possibly get rid of $500 in merchandise I'd otherwise sell for a pittance to someone who doesn't care. Oh well. Anyway, here is my address again. If you want the one, you'll have to move in with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air. You have to whistle for a cab and when it comes near the license plate will say fresh FRESH and there'll be dice in the mirror. If anything you could say the cab is rare but yu'll think "Nah forget it... Yo homes to Bel-Air!" You'll pull up to the house about 7 or 8 and yell to cabby "Yo Holmes Smell you later!" Then look at your kingdom your was finally there! Now sit on your throne as the Prince of Bel-Air. Proper English To begin, this is a tale of how my very existence was twisted and transformed in a most peculiar way. Please have a seat, for I wish to take a moment to relate to you the fascinating odyssey which ultimately led to my reign as the Prince of Bel-Air. I was sired and reared in West Philadelphia. As a lad, most of my time was spent at the neighborhood recreation center where I would laze about and relax in a most charming manner - that is, when I was not engaging my chums in a friendly game of basketball at the schoolhouse. Around this time, two young hooligans had begun to stage a campaign of vandalism and intimidation in my neighborhood. When my mother discovered I had had a bit of an altercation with the ruffians, she insisted I leave town at once and take up lodgings with my aunt and uncle in Bel-Air. As the taxi approached, heeding my beckoning whistle, I could discern the word "FRESH" emblazoned upon its license plate, and took particular note of the pair of plush novelty dice which hung from the rear-view mirror. I was a bit taken aback by these strange omens, but quickly put them out of my mind as I cheerfully called to the driver: "To Bel-Air, my good man!" We arrived safely in Bel-Air at dusk, and as the driver came to a stop in front of the house where I was to live, I left him with the words: "Farewell, sir. Perhaps my nostrils shall delight in your aroma once more!" To be sure, it was a long journey, and as I gazed upon my estate in all its splendor, I knew once and for all that my rightful place was on the throne - as the young scion of the great and mighty kingdom of Bel-Air! Yes, I am Yes, I am a fox. So? I dont see any problem. I embraced my animal soul long ago and I am happy together with my boyfriend (who is a cute b/w wolf!). We have a fucking lot of friends in and outside of the fandom and I am pretty slim and good looking. But thanks anyway asshole. Go and watch your stupid anime shit while I have SEX with my boyfriend. Yes, I hate America. So? I don't see any problem. I embraced my communist soul long ago and I am happy together with my boyfriend (who is a cute freedom fighter!). We have a fucking lot of friends in and outside of the country and I am pretty smart and well-mannered. But thanks anyway, asshole. Go and post your stupid flames while I support the revolution with my boyfriend. Yes, I am a pedophile. So? I dont see any problem. I embraced my childlover soul long ago and I am happy together with my girlfriend (who is a cute 6 y/o loli!). We fuck a lot of her friends with and without their consent and I am pretty slim and good looking. But thanks anyway asshole. Go and watch your stupid porn with grown women in it while I have SEX with my underaged girlfriend. Yes, I am a Republican. So? I don't see any problem. I embraced my lack of a soul long ago and I am happy together with my money (which has bought me lots of hookers!). We have a fucking lot of confidants in and outside of the Congress and I am pretty fat and balding. But thanks anyway asshole. Go and pursue your stupid liberal shit while I have SEX with my blow-up doll. Yes, I am a ham sandwich. So? I don't see any problem. I embraced my whole wheat soul long ago and I am happy together with my boyfriend (who is a cute pastrami on rye!). We have a fucking lot of friends in and outside of the foodom and I am pretty low fat and good looking. But thanks anyway asshole. Go and watch your stupid anime shit while I spread mustard on my boyfriend. Yes, I am a christian. So? I don't see any problem. I embraced my jesus-loving soul long ago and I am happy together with my boyfriend (who is a cute b/w priest!). We have a fucking lot of friends in and outside of the church and I am pretty slim and good looking young man. But thanks anyway asshole. Go and believe in your stupid "fact" shit while I have SEX with my minister. Yes, I am a gorn. So? I dont see any problem. I embraced my warlike reptilian soul long ago and I am happy together with my boyfriend (who is a cute b/w raptor!). We have a fucking lot of friends in and outside of the Federation and I am pretty slim and good looking. But thanks anyway asshole. Go and watch your stupid anime shit while I disembowel mammals with my boyfriend. Yes, I am a weeaboo. So? I dont see any problem. I embraced my japanese soul long ago and I am happy together with my real doll (who is a cute 8yo loli!). We don't any friends in and outside of the fandom and I am pretty fat and ugly looking. But thanks anyway asshole. Go and have sex with your girlfriend while I'll fap to my anime porn. Zimmer - 9/11 HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. 9/11 WAS A LIE. THERE WERE NO TOWEL HEADS. THERE WAS NO AIRPLANE. IN TRUTH I WAS VISITING THE BIG APPLE, SO AS TO COMPARE MY GARGANTUAN MEAT TRAIN TO IT AND LAUGH AT THE GASPING NEW YORKERS AS I POUNDED THEIR BELOVED NAMESAKE INTO BIG APPLE SAUCE. HAVING NOT GOTTEN RELEASE FROM MY CULINARY EXERCISE, I MEANDERED DOWN THE STREET WITH MY VITAL BLOOD ENGORGED SEWER PIPE OUT IN FRONT OF ME LIKE A BLIND MAN'S CANE, LOOKING FOR A HOLE IN THE BACKSIDE OF A WOMAN WHICH I WOULD STRETCH BEYOND HUMAN LIMITS. I SPOTTED AT THAT VERY MOMENT AN ATTRACTIVE FEMALE IN A MINISKIRT WAVING AT ME. I SLAPPED HER TO THE GROUND WITH MY ENORMOUS PHALLUS AND QUICKLY RAVISHED HER SKIRT LIKE A STARVED DOG ON A BABY MADE OF STEAK. THE SIGHT THAT AWAITED BOTH SHOCKED AND ENRAGED ME. AFTER SEEING THIS "WOMAN'S" RAISIN-SIZED WINKY WINKLER, I VOMITED DOWN HIS THROAT AND PENETRATED HIS ESOPHAGUS, RIPPED OUT HIS SPINE AND PEELED HIS CORPSE FROM MY MONEYMAKER. TO TEACH ALL OF NEW YORK A LESSON FOR LETTING THIS FLAMING FAG BAG LIVE, I LET LOOSE A SEMENAL FLOOD OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS UPON THE TOWERS OF TWO (AT WHOM'S SMALL SIZE I LAUGHED LIKE A CLOWN RAPING AN 8 YEAR OLD), WHICH CAUSED THEM TO COME CRASHING DOWN LIKE ME AFTER A WEEKEND METH BINGE. I MOCKED THE NEW YORKERS AND MADE NIGGER JOKES AS THEY RAN FROM MY EVER EXPANDING CLOUD OF SPERMAZOA, MASTURBATING TO THE LOOKS OF HORROR ON THEIR FACES. THE GOVERNMENT, IN AN ATTEMPT TO SAVE FACE AND BECAUSE THEY HATE ARABS MORE THAN JEWS, PAINTED A BOEING 767 ON MY GIGANTIC COCK AND CALLED IT A TERRORIST ATTACK. THE FEELING OF PAINTBRUSHES ON MY DICK MADE ME COME AGAIN, AND PRESIDENT BUSH SNORTED UP EVERY LAST DROP BECAUSE HE THOUGHT IT WAS COKE. I GUARANTEE IT. I lost my virginity to a goat I lost my virginity to a goat. I was working at a bird sanctuary and they had some goats and sheep there. I was left to close up one day and I thought i'd stay around because the weather was awesome and it was so peaceful. I got horny and decided to act on all the animal porn i'd watched and found so fucking hot. I tied one of the goats up in one of the hay barns and fucked it bareback in the ass. It was fucking amazing and I was shit scared in case I got caught. That was like 6 years ago and since then I've fucked about 8 girls and 2 guys and nothing was as good as that goat. I'm planning on doing something similar again soon and on a regular basis. I mock the dead Personally, I think this is terrible. But I still laugh my stupid ass off everytime I see it. A middle-schooler, who shot himself, with a fucking gun to his head. I laughed my fucking ass off. I really don't like where this is going. I laugh because I think it's funny. WHY. Why is this so fucking out-of-my-mind hilarious? This is awful, the most awful thing I've done in a long time. Look at me, look at US. We've fallen so far as to come hear and poke fun of suicide and death? It's pretty fucking stupid that he shot himself over loosing his iPod, sure, but this kid is DEAD. He's gone, an entire life decimated. And here we are. Alive, and making jokes about how fucking cool it is that he shot himself. Do you even look in the mirror everyday? Do you see what looks back at you? A person who says "LOL AN HERO STUPID FUCKER" and constantly belittle the people who mourn his death (as retarded as they are, I admit.) This kid was somebody's son. Somebody's grandkid. Somebody's hopes and dreams in mortal coil. And they're gone. And all we can do is laugh. We laugh at their relative's misery, we chuckle at his community's loss. Someday, sometime, we're going to have to get off the keyboard, look in that bathroom mirror, and tell yourself "I mock the dead." I snipe virgins. My first lover was very experienced. The times him and I have had were wonderful and I learned a great many things. My second lover was a complete and total newb. I became addicted. The teaching of different methods, the teaching of how to have sex, the teaching of how to just go nuts, became an addiction. In some scenarios people would say I should become a domm, but I don't enjoy the pain, just the teaching and the control. I haven't made any virgins eat ciggarette butts, or whipped them, or done anything like that. I just made them learn. Learn how to please, and it feels wonderful. My favorite quote is from the movie kids, "Virgins, I love em!". Albiet that the kid in that movie was a complete shithead. Also for the record I am disease free, I got nothing, didn't catch anything from my first lover, and since then I have been with nothing but virgins. I have been tested. Many times. Just in case. I'm clean. How many virgins you might ask? At this point 58. Now that I'm at 23, well, pickings are getting somewhat slim. I mean you can't go for the under 18 year old virgins(unless you're a teacher I guess) and not be called a pedofile. So I go for only those that are of age 18 and above. I have many things to teach and teach them I do. I roll through myspace, okcupid, as well as other sites waiting for my next person to teach. I just want to give, and as they learn, receive in kind. I have only had one man who has ever had any other lover but me. As for the virgins, I teach them, hang with them a bit, and set them on their way. Some have confessed love. I let them down easy and again, sent them on their way. I snipe virgins. I hunt them, and make them mine for a time. Am I a predator? IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO BE A TRUE ARTIST... (to the tune of pokemahn) I WANNA BE, THE VERY BEST, LIKE NO ONE EVER WAAAS, dun dun dundun TO PUNCH THOSE WHO CALL IT ANIME TO BECOME A REAL ARTIIIIST dun dun dundun I WILL TRAVEL, ACROSS THE LAND SEARCHING FAR AND WIIDE dun dun dundun OH ANIME, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE YOU'VE RUINED ART OH NOOOO MODERN AAAAAART' WHAT A FUCKING JOOOKE! I KNOW IT'S MY... wait no I screwed it up somewhere... I Shaved My Butt Hole And It Started Bleeding I JUST SHAVED MY BUTT HOLE AND NOW IT'S BLEEDING. THERE WAS TOO MUCH HAIR IN MY BUTT AND IT FELT LIKE THERE WAS ALWAYS SOMETHING UP THERE. I WAS SICK OF ADJUSTING IT EVER FEW MINUTES. SHAVING IT WAS FINE UNTIL THE END WHEN I NOTICED IT WAS BLEEDING IN THAT STRETCH OF SKIN WHERE MY ASS MET MY DICK. WHEN I SEEN BLOOD ON THE RAZOR I FREAKED. THEN I PUT A WASHCLOTH UP THERE THAT IS NOW SOAKED WITH BLOOD AND SHIT. THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER SHAVE YOUR ASS. Life is like an FPS hay guys i was just thinking about ow everyone's all like "LIFE IS LIKE AN FPS WITHOUT A RESPAWN LOL" but sometimes the admin just sets respawn delay to be WAY TOO LONG, so it sorta seems like there's no respawn, and you kinda forgot you're playing the game until suddenly you're out in the open and soom AUG whore ganks you and I think this could be it because even if a bunch of cavemen did respawn and were all like "HOW I BUY CLUB" just now, we'd probably put them in insame asylums or they'd join up with terrorists or something so no one would really notice until we get, like, the black plague respawn in a billion years and on top of that sometimes nobody respawns until one team wins the match so maybe what we did wrong was breed too fast, so the match went on and on before one team could kill the other and now all we gotta do is finish off the other team and there'd be like A GOOGOPLEX RESPAWNS and everyone'd be all like "GG lol" but most of 'em would be sarcastic because they've been in observer mode with jesus for trillions of years and the whole time they were like "HE'S BEHIND THE FUCKING BOX". Jesus married to Mary Magdalene? Jesus married to Mary Magdalene? No fucking way. I've read the Bible, folks, and I know there's no way Jesus was ever married. The guy never had a wife. Because no wife would buy The Resurrection story in a hundred fucking years. The disciples will, the believers will:but no wife would buy this fucking story. Good luck! Good luck with this story. First of all, Jesus leaves on Friday afternoon with 12 other guys. He's gone for three days. No message. No way to get in touch with his wife. Then he comes home Monday afternoon looking like shit, like he hasn't slept. Looks like he's all partied out, man. And Mrs. Jesus is just waiting, pacing around the home, going, "Okay, this is Day 3 of this shit:Well, look who's back! I'm glad you could find your way home, 'Mr. Savior'! Where's your 12 friends who won't get a job, huh?! Where're they at?! Yeah, 'disciples' my ass. They're LOSERS! Do you hear me? Every one of them are using you, Jesus, and you're not even smart enough to know it! Anyone who says to you 'I believe' we put them up and feed them! I'm sick of it! Where've you been?! Huh?" And Jesus is rubbing his face, shaking his head, going, "I don't need this shit:not after what I went through this weekend:" Then he goes, "No honey, I'll tell you where I've been. Come here. Come he-e-ere, honey. I'll tell you where I've been. First of all, not that it ruined your weekend any but I was DEAD!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU FUCKING BITCH?! I WAS DEEEAAADDD!!! WHILE YOU WERE SITTING AT HOME ON YOUR ASS, I'M IN A GRAVE OUTSIDE OF TOWN! I'M FIGHTING DEATH, HELL, DECOMPOSURE:I'M ABOUT TO TURN INTO A SPIRITUAL FORM AND GO INTO THE KINGDOM OF GOD, AND I GO, 'OH SHIT, WAIT A SECOND! I BETTER GO BACK HOME BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHERE I'VE BEEN!' SO NOW I'VE GOT TO FIGHT THE ANGEL OF DEATH, GET MY FUCKING SOUL BACK, CRAWL OUT OF THE GRAVE, AND COME HOME TO THIS SHIT: BECAUSE I MISSED YOU HONEY!!!" No fucking way, man. JPG and PNG Now listen here, fuckers. Learn the difference between JPG and PNG ALREADY. - JPEG (pronounced jay-peg) is a most commonly used standard method of lossy compression for photographic images. - PNG (Portable Network Graphics) is a losslessly compressed bitmap image format. PNG is supposed to substitute GIF format, not JPG format you motherfuckers. For GIF, read "DRAWINGS, PAINTINGS, ICONS, etc" with a tiny palette. PNG IS LIKE A GIF WITH 65K COLOR, DUH. So stoping saving your shitty PHOTOGRAPHS in PNG. IT WILL NOT IMPROVE THE QUALITY AT ALL, NOR WILL MAKE YOU LOOK COOL OR INDIE. So a friend just described munging to me. "The one thing worse than genocide. One must first have no shame. Then he/she must use a newspaper to find the obituary of a recently deceased man or woman. Then must find a buddy, with no shame, who will aid them in this act. The partners then go to the cemetary where they dig up their victim, and flip a coin. The loser, (or winner depending on how sick you are), applies his/her lips to the genitals or anus of the corpse, while the other partner procedes to climb the nearest tombstone and elbow drop the corpse's stomach. Thus forcing out a blend of rich bodily fluids and embalming materials onto the partners. This blend is called mung. The act of getting this blend on your face is called munging. Chicks'll dig this one." I need something related that can actually top that. Nazi's are better than us Anyone else here not a racist, but wishes the Nazis had won? Theirs was a truly effective fascist government that took a nation on its knees from a depression and turned it into a military, technological and economic powerhouse within the space of thirty years. It was a social experiment in the way that many reformed or new nations are. America was an experiment in democracy and (eventually) egalitarianism. The Soviet Union was an experiment in Communism. Nazi Germany was the grandest experiment of them all: a rejection of the gentle side of man and a wholehearted pursuit of our more teutonic side: The glorification of the strong, the self-sufficient, and the dominant. It was to be the beginning of a bolder and more uncompromising global civilization that would bring discipline where before there was only coddling; that would harden the soft, and that would not be afraid to say that equality means equal opportunities, not that all men regardless of education or skill are inherently equal to one another. It was a call out to all men to transcend their passive, mediocre existances and aspire to become the heroic and unstoppable species that mankind always had the potential to become. Nazi Germany was the combined hopes, dreams and ambitions of all who dared to dominate; but in the end, these dreams were quashed by weak, subversive men who would rather hold their superiors back rather than attempt to catch up. Okay guys, this isn't funny anymore Okay guys, this isn't funny anymore. The cops fucking knocked at my door today and asked me about websites I've been visiting. I NEVER go to any sick pedo places or anything like that so it must be this place they're talking about. For god's sake stop screwing around with the pedo shit, you're going to get yourselves arrested. Trust me the authorities are watching and they're taking it VERY seriously. Don't believe me, fine, wait a while and you will. I just hope you have a good lawyer. Goodbye forever you sick fucks, I'm going to wipe my hard drive. |
