Good evening friends and welcome to the lair of ...HELLKING UZUMAKI!!

Favorite series: Naruto, Bleach, Fairy Tail, Inuyasha, Katekyo Hitman Reborn, Break Blade, Hellsing, Rurouni Kenshin, Fullmetal Alcheist, Berserk, Gintama, Dragon Ball\Dragon Ball Z, RosarioVampire, One Piece, Freezing, The Breaker, Kuroshitsuji, Dance in the Vampire Bund, Death Note, RWBY (even if its not a manga) Star Wars, LOTR, Rave Master, Whistle, and several others that I can't remember at the moment.

Gender: I'm a dude...last I checked.

Name: Not gonna tell you.

Age: If you must know...

Physically: 14 year old body

Mentally: Brain of a 30 year old, maturity of a 10 year old

Actually: 21

Home: Middle of freaking nowhere Illinois.

Occupation: Truly horrible College Student, dorm weirdo, serial arsonist, general all-purpose psychopath, professional pain in the ass, fanfiction writer/reader, Youtube channel manager

Likes: Video games, Books, the little voices in my head, any fanfic in which Sasuke dies, BACON!!, legally insane people, Blizzard Ltd., smart people who aren't afraid to show it, people who are crazy but don't care, High Explosives, NaruHina, the zombie apocalypse, EVEN MORE BACON!!, weapons of all kinds, candy, KITTENS!, MORE EXPLOSIVES!, the color purple, and of course any good Fanfic.

Dislikes: Yaoi of any kind, NaruSaku, sparkling vampires, people who think that being an idiot makes them cool, any kind of Hypocrite, killing off a character for no good reason, evil guys who won't die, evil guys who think they are doing good, monologues, the color orange, people who think Edward Cullen is the shit, overcooked meat, overpowered main characters, time travel, fan-girls from any dimension, multiple universes, stupidity for the sake of stupidity, Stephanie Meyer, perverts, anyone who flat out disses someone else's story... yeah I'm going to stop there.

Hobbies: playing video games, smoking bacon rolls (It's a cigarette made of bacon. Have one they are good for your soul man.), reading,writing down the random stories my little voices tell me, ignoring the voices, burning random things I find, killing Confederate or British soldiers(I reenact the revolutionary and civil wars), annoying anyone foolish enough to call themselves my friend, Confusing people who is standing anywhere near me.

Special Skills: Incredibly overactive imagination, can ignore anything anytime anywhere, crack shot with a rifle, makes damn good bacon, can chug a two liter in thirty seconds or less, can piss off anyone in less than two minutes, can ramble on and on for an unknown amount of time, can light just about anything on fire, can sleep anywhere including while standing.

Hopes: To own my own aircraft, or rule the world, either works. I think that I can do both I'm just to lazy to find out.

Fears: Rejection, the dark, spiders that are bigger than a quarter, being alone, girls(don't ask, it is a horrible and tragic tale that involves me getting beaten up a lot.), Stalkers(I had one, it wasn't fun, see above about girls), being abandoned, myself(I scare myself at times).

Alright so now you know me. Now about my stories, I have a few personal rules I will mention so I don't get swamped by complaints later. So all of the following rules will apply to any and all of my future stories.

1. I will complete any story that I begin, I hate finding a good idea that someone gave up on.

2. I will not do Lemons of any kind, you can send one to me and ask to have it added to one of my stories but I won't write any. I am a fanfiction writer, not an erotic writer, get over it.

3. NO Harems, sorry no I find these to get way to complicated, way to fast.

4. My stories will contain Sasuke bashing, and Sakura bashing, and generally bashing of any character I don't like, and boy there are a lot of them!

5. I will not make any good characters turn evil ever, I may enjoy dark fics but I don't want to write one. I might make bad guys good though.

6. Most of my stories will be either Naruto based or have characters from Naruto in them. It's not that I don't like other stories it's just I like Naruto more and he can be put into just about any situation and it'll work.

7. I will try and make my stories as original as possible. So I will try and steer clear of any crossover or idea that has been done to death. Unless of course I see a challenge that sparks my interest.

8. In order to post the next chapter of a story I require at least 10 reviews on the previous chapter. Sorry I just like to get some feedback and ideas from the readers. It makes my life so much easier. Also I enjoy seeing what you guys think, it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside, although sometimes I also want to commit suicide.

9. My rules may change at any time depending on what the voices in my head tell me too.

10. Also any story I adopt or write another version of will be exempt from the rules, because I said so. (They told me to say that)

Story info:

Naruto:The No-Life Prince- in progress, up next chapter 11, The Monster meats the World.

The Guardian and the Maelstrom- in progress, on pause due to lack of ideas, but I will get back to it, eventually.

The Unbloodied Blades- in progress, up next chapter 4, the Brawler

Naruto:Rise of the Xenonin- in progress, up next chapter 8.

Team 7's Red Dawn:- in progress, up next chapter 1 The Legends

Possible new stories!!

Project Maelstrom; Naruto/Resident Evil: Projects Alice and Nemesis were not the only experiments that Umbrella had been keeping in their Racoon City labs! Alice as Naruto's surrogate mother, Telekinetic/childish Naruto, No pairing.

Elemental Shogun; The Uzumaki clan, once one of the most powerful and respected clans in the land. No it is but a shadow of its former glory. Can it new leader take it into history, or will they become nothing more than a footnote? Samurai Naruto, Pairing undecided

The Eighth Sword: At age nine Naruto gives up on his dreams and leaves Konoha. As he runs he is found by one of the most feared ninja groups in the world... The Seven Swordsmen! Swordmaster/Violent Naruto, NarutoxFemHaku

Naruko: Queen of Blades; Naruto/StarcraftII: Naruko has always been different, she's the only one who can hear them. The call to her, they call her queen. What happens when she assumes that mantle? Cold/FemNaruto, pairing undecided.

The True Swarmlord; Naruto/Warhammer: Betrayed at every turn. By friends, by lovers, by family. All that remains is hate, hatred of all life... and a need to consume it. Tyranid/Angry Naruto, no pairing. Based off of Madara123's Father of the Swarm.

Announcement/ Author's Rant!!!

Hey everyone! That's right I'm not dead! The problem is I lost the jump drive containing a lot of my stories. Because of this I had to sit and try to redo chapters that I had already done. I just couldn't get my heart back into my stories. I find it kinda sad but I'll deal, probably. Now the other reason I haven't been active is because I came up with a brand new idea that is so awesome I had to put everything else on the backburner. I'm not gonna tell you what the idea is, but it will be awesome on a scale never before written by a Hellking. Now some are probably asking well why haven't you posted the new story?

RANT TIME!!!

I haven't posted it because I have pride in my work! This is something that has pissed me off a lot over the years and I finally have a good reason to rant about it. Some authors just give characters new abilities right out of the blue just for the sake of the story. You can't do that!! You can't just give someone a new power for no good reason! This is especially true of Naruto stories. Either he'll awaken some previously unknown bloodline or Kurama will give it to him for just letting him see out of the cage. THIS MAKES NO SENSE!! How is he related to the people that already have this bloodline? Where are they now? Why hasn't it become active? More importantly though how is Kurama being able to see and hear the outside world an equal trade for Naruto getting some ridiculous power? He's a demon for crying out loud! They don't do uneven trades!

Everytime I think of a new story or a new power or something I logic out everything about that power or story, and I do mean everything. From how the power works from a physics standpoint to any and all weaknesses it may have. Or if I think of a new character I think of any quirks I want to give them and how they might have developed them. Simple background stuff like that makes a difference. A lot of other writers don't do this. I know it's time consuming and all but it makes the story so much better in my opinion.

Send me a PM if you believe my point is fair, or even if you don't. I would love a good conversation.