Hi! I'm Lara (dont ask why my screen name is Makkenzi... long story!), I'm 16 years old :) Feel free to leave me an email on a story that you want to see written! All ideas are read and considered!

Twitter account: http://twitter.com/#!/_Makkenzi_

Email: makkenzi.fanfics@gmail.com

These are my favorite TV/Movie Couples/who I think should be together ;)

Elliot and Olivia -Law and Order SVU, TV

Bones and Booth -Bones, TV

Nate and Sophie -Leverage, TV

Parker and Hardison -Leverage, TV

Aria and Ezra -Pretty Little Liars, TV

House and Cuddy -House, TV

Alice and Mad Hatter/Tarrent Hightop -Alice in Wonderland (2010), Movie

Vianne and Roux -Chocolat, Movie

Ichabod Crane and Katrina Van Tassel -Sleepy Hollow, Movie

J. M. Barrie and Sylvia Llewelyn Davies -Finding Neverland, Movie

Elizabeth and Jack -Pirates of the Caribbean, Movie

Sweeney Todd and Nellie Lovett -Sweeney Todd Demon Barber on Fleet Street, Movie

Alright that's only a few of them so you get the idea I love the couples and ideas of couples in my TV shows and Movies :D

If there are any other relationships i'm missing please let me know!

If you think Captain Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swann--Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean-- are made for each other and that, no matter how wonderfully wonderful Will Turner may be, he should never, under any circumstances, be with Elizabeth, copy and paste this into your profile!

I don’t care what other people say about Sparrabeth, I will support it always and NEVER turn my back on it! If you feel strongly about this... please copy and paste this into your profile!

If you believe that the curse of the Flying Dutchman is NOT broken and Will and Elizabeth will NEVER be together, and if you believe that the son of Elizabeth is Jack's son, copy and paste this into your profile!

If every time you hear the word rum, you automatically think of Captain Jack Sparrow, copy and paste this into your profile!!

If your computer has all three POTC soundtracks on it and you can name them by listening to them for less than ten seconds copy and paste this into your profile.

If you went to save Jack just because you missed him, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you got invited to the magnificent garden party, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Will is a fine whelp and everything but Jack and Elizabeth belong together and that there's so much tension and chemistrey between them that they can out run any ship in the caribbean than copy and paste this in you profile. Because Sparrabeth is faster than your ship, its better than your ship, its prettier than your ship and its a hell of a lot hotter than your ship! (Unless your ship is the Pearl in which case it's only slightly better than your ship.)

Law And Order: Special Victims Unit

"Grocery store with strippers." -Elliot Stabler, SVU

"Stepford nanny." -John Munch, SVU

"Does dealing with sexual deviance affect me? The answer is no. You can ask my blow up doll." -John Munch, SVU

"Now I'm a pain in my own ass." -John Munch, SVU

"Oh there you are, you demonic little furball." -John Munch, SVU

"And I'd like your balls in a blender, but ain't life a bitch?" -Olivia Benson, SVU

"Thank you. You've offered a provocative theory. What it lacks in substance, it makes up for in pretty colors." -Alex Cabot, SVU

"Civil liberties, good. Lawyers, bad." -John Munch, SVU

"Don't look at me. I just know stuff." -Fin Tutuola, SVU

"It's a case of he said, she said, he's dead." -Don Cragen, SVU

"I love these little cliques. They're like the mafia: Nobody knows nothing." -Elliot Stabler, SVU

"Whatcha got there, Spanky?" -John Munch, SVU

"Sometimes all that brooding intensity is just annoying." -ME Warner about Elliot Stabler, SVU

"I'd give you my kidney." "Not if I gave you mine first." -Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson, SVU

"Without abstract suffering, I wouldn't know what to do with myself." -John Munch on mail order brides, SVU

"Word around the water cooler is that she's having my love child." -John Munch on Olivia's disappearance, SVU

You Know You're Obsessed With SVU when...

You cry every time you see Fault

You sit down to watch a new episode, and you keep thinking, "This is it! This is the one where they're gonna kiss!"

You know what season it is by the styling of Mariska Hargitay's hair

Tuesday is your favorite day of the week

You hate Casey Novak cause they made her look too much like Alex Cabot, who you know will come back one day!

You and your friend cut out pictures of Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni, glue them to dolls, and push them together and make kissy noises!

You know that "I'd give you my kidney" means "I love you" in EO language

You know the difference between the SVU and CI theme songs

You Know You're An EO Shipper When...

You hear a song on the radio, and you think, "Wow, that'd make a great EO songfic!"

You know that the pregnancy that is announced at the end of this season will be Elliot's and Olivia's love child

Your favorite episodes include Fault, Raw, Burn and Philidelphia because the EOness is soooo awesome!

You're happy, and you do an EO dance to show it!

You spend months trying to find Elliot and Olivia dolls so you can make them kiss

You constantly write alternate endings or continuations of episodes that involve El and Liv getting together

I want child abuse to stop! And if you do, too, copy and paste this onto your profile Thank you to flamin. guitarist for posting this in your profile and for letting others read it.

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I can't see,

Must be stupid, I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked

All the day long

When I awake

I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get

Just one beating tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid

I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says it's my fault

That he suffers at work

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

127 Ways To Know You're A 90's Kid!

You know you're a 90's kid when...

1. You can remember saying, "Talk to the hand!"

2. Your best comeback was, "I know you are, but what am I?"

3. If you ever injured yourself on a Slip N Slide

4. Your favorite show was Full House

5. You can finish this song... "In West Philidelphia, born and raised..."

6. You've ever finished a sentence with Psyche!

7. You can remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons

8. You remember when Kurt Cobain, 2Pac, River Phoenix, and Selena died.

9. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"

10. You begged for some GAK, and when you got that they came out with scented GAK, and when you got that they came out with funny scented GAK...

11. You remember reading "Goosebumps"

12. You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

13. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...

14. You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record "Your FAVORITE song of ALL time"...with a tape recorder held up to the radio loL!!

15. Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? was both a game and a TV game show.

16. Captain Planet.

17. You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green Ranger were meant to be together. (this was meant for young 80s children)

18. When playing power rangers with friends you fought over who got to be who...and still all ended up being Tommy.

19. You remember when super nintendo's became popular.

20. You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos... but never taped anything funny.

21. You remember watching home alone 1, 2 , and 3...and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"

22. "I've fallen and I can't get up"

23. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates

24. Two words... Trapper Keeper.

25. "Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back" SHE ASKED HER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER FOR FIFTY CENTS CENTS CENTS TO SEE THE ELEPHANTS PHANTS PHANTS JUMP OVER THE FENCE THE FENCE THE FENCE
he jumped so high high high he touched the sky sky sky and he didnt come back back back til the forth of july ly ly he jumped so low ow ow he stubbed his toe toe toe and thats the end end end of the elephants show show show

26. You remember boom boxes vs. cd players

27. Writing M.A.S.H. notes.

You remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool

28. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"

29. You played and/or collected "Pogs"

30. You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere

31. You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles

32. Yikes pencils and erasers were the stuff!

33. All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.(pencils.notebooks.binders.etc.)

34. You remember when the new Beanie Babies and talking Elmo were always sold out.

35. You used to wear those stick on earings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes.

36. You remember a time before the WB.

37. You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

38. You know the Macarena by heart.

39. "Talk to the hand" ... enough said

40. You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"

41. If you played Nintendo 64.

42. used MSN Messenger 2.0

43. If you heard Cindy Crawford sang (in a commercial)... then acted in a movie.

44. If you know "Ice Ice baby" and "Can't touch this".

45. Jean Cluad Van Damn was doing a lot of movies where he played his own twin.

46. Steven Segal was slim and actually have a career.

47. Jennifer Lopez was a dancer for Janet Jackson.

48. If you thought there was no way Michael Jackson could get any weirder!

49. You've seen both fights between the iron Mike Tyson V.S The real deal Holyfield. And the ear bitting.

50. Wear your pants backward.

51. A lot of monkey in Pepsi commercial.

52. MTV single out?

53. Justin Timberlake wanted to be Nick Carter.

54. If you was listening to the O.J verdict.

55. Will Farrell was in Old school.

56. Adam Sander (not famous) was dating Shannon Dorthy (famous).

57. Michale Jordan was playing baseball. Then spacejam.

58. Beverly Hill 90210 and Kelly the hot blonde.

59. Christian Slater.

60. Bill Pullman got dump in every movie. Making a career out of that.

61. Pauly Shore, the weasel. Has anyone seen Biodome? I am sorry to hear that.

62. Has Kramer's t-shirt.

63. Know the lyric "I'll be there for you" from the series "Friends".

64. Ace Venture and who was that blonde chic in "The Mask"? Cameron who? Diaz? Cameron Diaz? Never heard of.

65. You knew that Backstreet Boys started the boy band craze!

66. You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off"

67. You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

68. the pharse "finder keepers, losers weepers"

69. You remember when everyone went slinky crazy.

70. You remember when razor scooters were cool.

71. bill-nye the science guy.

72. MR RODGERS!!

73. gumby

74. lamb chop

75. original barney

76. When Toys R Us overuled the mall.

77. act like you didn't watch afro-king BOB ROSS paint trees on T.V.

78. DID I DO THAAAAAAAAAT??

79. when cops and robbers was a daily activity.

80. when we played Hide and go seek until our legs grew numb.

81. when we used to obey our parents

82. when everyhting was settled by: rock paper scissors, bubble gum bubble gum in a dish, ordaddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.

83. You remember watching: The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.

84. You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.

85. You remember those Where's Waldo books.

86. You remember eating Warheads.

87. You remember watching: the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and3 Ninjas movies.

88. You remember Ring Pops.

89. You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.

90. Oh, oh, oh! and JOSTA!!

91. If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"

92. When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.

93. Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them.

94. You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.

95. And Windows 95 was the best.

96. You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.

97. Michael Jordan was a king.

98. Lambchop's song never ended.

99. The old dollar bills.

100. Silver dollars, which were cool to have.

101. You remember a time before the WB.

102. You collected all the Troll dolls

103. If you even know what an original walkman is.

104. You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.

105. You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.

106. You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.

107. You've worn shorts and felt stylish

108. You wanted to be part of the Baby-Sitters club

109. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in kindergarten

110. You sang I Just Can't Wait To Be King and Hakuna Matata in kindergarten

111. You remember Alf, the little brown alien from Melmac and Vicki the Robot from "MY Little Wonder"

112. You used to pretend to be a MIGHTY MORPHIN Power Ranger and you owned a Skip It.

113. You thought it would be so cool to be Alex Mack.

114. You thought Brain woud finally take over the world

115. 2 words ... SPICE GIRLS

116. You can remember dance tunes such as "Mr. Vain"...

117. You remember watching Live and Kicking

118. You read "Shout," "Miss" and occassionally "J17!"

119. You remember that Polaroid cameras = instant pictures.

120. You remember falling asleep early at parties.

121. You would always want to play outside with your friends who lived in your neighborhood .. outside.

122. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock"

123. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.

124. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.

125. You owned Pokemon cards but you didn’t play.

126. "Miss Susie had a steam boat, the steam boat had a bell..miss suzie went to heaven the steamboat went to hell_o operator please give me number 9 and if you disnconnect me i'll kick you from behind the fridgerator, there was a piece of glass, miss suzie sat upon it and broke her little ass_k me no more questions, please tell me no more lies the boys are in the bathroom zipping up their flies, are in the cornfield the bees are in their hives ... miss suzie and her boyfriend are kissing in the D-A-R-K- D-A-R-K D-A-R-K dark dark dar dar da dark"

127. Who LOVES orange soda?? Keeeeeeel loves orange soda! Is it truuuuuuuue? Mhm hmm... I do I do I doooooooo...

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

If you hunt through people's profiles to find copy and paste things, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are obsessed with Danny Phantom copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you think Helena Bonham Carter is sooooooo omg theres no doubt bout it AWESOME!, copy and paste this into you profile. (i mean come on she is, her fashion, movie choices and just her plain self!)

If you are a fan of Johnny Depp not only because he's attractive, but because of his personality and his love for children etc...copy and paste this on your profile!

If you think that Antony and Johanna should die, copy and paste this into you profile.

If you think that twilight isn't the greatest thing and people who are obssesed with it should get a life copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know the words or dance to any Broadway show, camp song, or theme song better than the words or dance to Soulja Boy, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever started to randomly sing Sweeney Todd only to have the whole class stare at you like you're an idiot paste this into your profile

If you have ever tried or have succeeded in doing your hair like Mrs. Lovett and went out in public, copy and past this into your profile

If you dare to say the Dark Lord's name, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would do anything to meet Helena Bonham Carter, Johnny Depp and Tim Burton copy this onto your profile

If you realize that copying and pasting stuff into one's profile is completely pointless, yet do it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you tend to like the evil characters more than you like the good characters, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that phsyco, emo, murderous barbers are 100 times better than sparkly vampires, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you LOVE Tim Burton's style of movies, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Helena Bonham Carter is SO Beautiful, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want to kill Anthony for getting in the way of Sweenett time... you know the drill ;)

If u hate Kristen Stwert and Robert Patterson and think that Helena Bonham Cater and Johnny depp are 1000000 times more awsome then them copy and past this into your profile.

If youy think Emma watson should jump off a clif copy and past this into ur profile

if u think that harry, ron n hermioni can not act 4 life copy n paste this into ur profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do so at random moments, copy and paste this in you're profile

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile

If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile

If you think that the only decent actors in harry potter are bellatrix, mcgonnagle and snape copy and past this into ur profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

Check this out...

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that p

ut it in your profile

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I’m WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone’s ass
I’m a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I’m FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual
I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a concieted snob
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore
I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy

STOP STEREOTYPES! IF YOU HATE STEREOTPYES AND WANT THEM TO STOP, COPY THIS LIST INTO YOUR PROFILE AND ITALICIZE THE ONES YOU ARE

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.

98 percent of authors confuse "you're" and "your". If you're one of the 2 percent who knows how to tell them apart, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the teen population automatically thinks the word "Cullen" whenever they hear the name "Edward". If you're part of the 2 percent that thinks "Scissorhands" post this on your profile.

If Robert Paterson was standing on a building about to jump 98 percent of the teen population would have a nervous breakdown. copy and past this into your profile if your the 2 percent that yelled jump you stoner!

101 Ways To Annoy People

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.

44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

45. Honk and wave to strangers.

46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

49. Wear your pants backwards.

50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

73. Drive half a block.

74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

75. Ask people what gender they are.

76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

88. Sing along at the opera.

89. Mow your lawn with scissors.

90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."

94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

96. Never make eye contact.

97. Never break eye contact.

98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

The 27 Commandments
of Writing a Fanfic

1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar and spelling errors. The fanfiction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for good reason. Use it.

2.Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words, unless it is a drabble. This displeases the masses.

3.Thou shalt not put author's notes in the middle of the story.

4.Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fic, unless the characters are actually texting.

5.Thou shalt keep to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly.

6.Apply the above number 5 to POVs as well.

7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious.

8.Thou shalt not use , ;, or :( in a fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character.

9.Thou shall try-eth to keep characters in character!

10.Thou shall not treat every criticism as a flame.

11.The author's note is not a spot for your personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so.

12.Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase "first fic" in thy summary.

13. Thy created characters must not have names that exceed five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name have more than five words in length.

14. Thou shall not insert thyself into the story line as thyself or as a character- yes we know that you are in love with yourself and are very narcissistic, we just don’t want to read about how you end up with the main character.

15.If thou art writing a story that does not follow the original story line, point it out in the beginning.

16.Thou shall not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason).

17.Thou shalt show and not tell.

18.Thou shalt not EVER use the phrase "I suck at summaries" in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers.

19.Thou shalt not write the same way thou speak-est- writing is an art.

20.Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word "okay" correctly. Using the letter "K" is an unacceptable compromise.

21. Thou shalt only use clichés when thou a) art writing a parody or b) find a new and interesting twist to make such clichés bearable to thine reader.

22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers shalt be confuse-ed.

23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READER AND THE FANFICTION GODS. They have given thee an ENTER key with good reason.

24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on, it displeases the masses and causes thy readers to lose their vision and make angels weep.

25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before you writeth the fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story.

26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside". This shows lack of creativeness and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside.

27. Thou shall use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers.

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.

You say "Go Robert Patterson, Kristen Stweret and Zac Efron!" I say "Go Helena Bonham-Carter, Johnny Depp and Meryl Streep!"

You say "High school musical is the best!" I say "go Sweeney Todd!"

Fanfiction. Because 87 percent of all original endings SUCK.

Fanfiction. Because 95 percent of all plot twists are either predictable or stupid.

Fanfiction. Because my favorite characters always die.

Fanfiction. Because sometimes evil deserves to win.

Fanfiction. Because some authors just don't know which of their own characters go together best.

Fanfiction. Because most authors aren't willing to write multiple versions of their stories just so we can see every possibility that arises.

Symptoms of OSTD (obsessive Sweeney Todd disorder)

1. Every little thing reminds you of Sweeney Todd, and when something doesn't, it still ends up reminding you because you think, Wow, here's something that doesn't remind me of... Sweeney Todd!!

2. You have the movie memorized

3. You hyperventilate whenever Sweeney comes onto the screen

4. You sing "A Little Priest" whenever you have pie for supper

5. You sing by the sea every time ur at the beach

6. You sing "My friends" to your razor and/or kitchen knives

7. You laugh every time u walk past a barbour shop (cause u think of sweeney todd) and ur parents stare at u like an idiot

8. u hyperventilate wen u saw mrs. lovett's hat at the shops (or was that just me?)

9. u won't go near any pie store that's next 2 a barbour store

10. You have every sweeney todd song on ur phone and know the lyrics

11. if anyone ever eats sumthing and say this is the worst thing they've ever tasted u immedietly think of mrs. lovetts pies

12. ur frinds r walking down the road humming lincon park or flo rida, ur humming epiphiny

13. u have tried 2 do ur hair like mrs. lovett then go out in public.

14. You re-enact Helena's Worst Pies in London in your own kitchen.

15. You think they should play "The Ballad of Sweeney Todd" at your cousin's wedding, instead of "Here Comes the Bride"

16. Whenever you get into a discussion about movies with your friends, you're out to convince them Sweeney Todd is the BEST movie ever made. Even if they look at you like this O_O.

17. You can't think of PIES, FLOUR or ROLLING PINS anymore without thinking of Mrs Lovett.

18. When you're in the supermarket, you deliberately go searching in the frozen food section for meat pies. The little ones, mind.

19. You've tried doing your hair Mrs Lovett's style-messy...and worn it outside.

20. You want to name one of your kids after one of the Sweeney Todd characters. Well, if it's good enough for Helena, you think!

21. You've cosplayed/dressed up as one of the characters from Sweeney Todd.

22. You've not only bought/made the following articles Helena wears in the movie: her black lace gloves, ribboned boots, black corset, red and white by the sea bustle dress...

23. Give yourself a gold star if you wear the said articles OUTSIDE. In public. How's THAT for devoted? Or just plain nutty...

24. You catch yourself thinking/talking like Mrs Lovett. Wot, wot was that, love? Me ears isn't wot they once wos. Now, where's that flamin' Mr T gone to?

25. Whenever a problem comes up or you get into a fight with someone, you immediately think: what would Helena/Mrs Lovett do?

Paste this on your profile if you have OSTD (IT'S NOT A DISORDER! Really!)

You know you live in 2009 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did