Hi my name is Isabella(real name not to be disclosed).

My favorite books/series' are:The Twilight Saga, House of Night Series, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Harry Potter, Vampire Academy, Vampire Diaries

I love reading fanfiction on here just as much as writing my own personal fanfiction with my friends. The stories are always entertaining and it just makes me want to come back and read more all the time.

My favorite non-canon Twilight couples are: Bella/Jasper, Bella/any member of the wolf pack(besides Leah), Bella/Alec, Bella/Demetri, Bella/Marcus(father/daughter, friend only), Jane/Felix, Jane/Demetri

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
When ever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlie's sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
When ever I am in the Emergency Room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom
I promise to remember Rosalie
When ever I see something that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Renesmee
When I see that beautiful bronze hair.
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know.

Our Edward,
Who art in Forks,
Hallowed be thy sparkles.
Thy Volvo comes, thy will be fast,
On Earth as it is in the meadow.
Give you this day, our daily blood;
Forgive us our heartbeats,
As we worship Carlisle for giving you life.
Lead us into temptation,
Deliver us to you.
For thine is the vampire,
The music and the hotness,
For ever and ever,
A-Edward

Favorite quotes of ALL time

1.“Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that on TV.” - Jacob Black

2.“I’m really glad Edward didn’t kill you. Everything’s so much more fun with you around.” - Emmett Cullen

3.“This hostage stuff is fun.” - Alice Cullen

4. “No one dressed by me ever looks like an idiot.” - Alice Cullen

5. “ Of all the things about me that could frighten you, you worry about my driving.” - Edward Cullen

6. “ And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…” - Edward Cullen

7. “Fall down again, Bella?” - Emmett Cullen

8. “ ‘Bout time somebody scored around here.” - Emmett Cullen

9. “ You gonna back down so easy, little sister? Not much wild about you, is there? I bet that cottage doesn’t have a scratch. Did Edward tell you how many houses Rose and I smashed?” - Emmett Cullen

10. “So it’s still standing? I would’ve thought you two had knocked it to rubble by now. What were you doing last night? Discussing the national debt?” - Emmett Cullen

11. “You held out your hand, and I took it without stopping to make sense of what I was doing. For the first time in almost a century, I felt hope.” - Jasper Hale

12. “If we had happy endings, we’d all be under gravestones now.” - Rosalie Hale

13. “I told him you were planning to corrupt my youthful innocence.” - Bella Swan

14. “Who’s afraid of the big, bad wolf?” -

15. “Go fetch a space heater. I’m not a St. Bernard.” - Jacob Black

~QUOTES~

"I don't have a license to kill ... I have a learners permit!"

"Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear."

"If you love someone, tell them. Because hearts are often broken with words left out."

"He handed her 11 red roses and one fake rose, he said ‘I will love you until the last rose dies."

"Of all the things I’ve lost… I miss my mind the most."

"I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentines Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon."

"I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Cave Man the best. We called him Uncle Cave Man because he lived in a cave and because sometimes he'd come out and eat one of us. Later on we found out he was a bear."

"Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas."

"Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!"

"When in doubt, push random buttons!"

"When you talk to God, that's religion. When God talks to you, that's psychotic."

"You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it."

"I'm not cynical, everything just sucks."

"Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies."

"Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck."

"YOUTUBE myspace and I'll Google your YAHOO."

"Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin."

"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you."

"Okay...so there's this thing called retarded-ness and me and my friends, well...We've gone pro."

Never suffer from insanity, enjoy every minute of it.

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.

Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

She's my best friend. Break her heart and I'll break your face.

Say to a boy: Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

I'm the type of girl that manages to plan a whole world domination in Histroy class.

I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago.

It's us versus the world...we attack at dawn!

Real friends don't let you do stupid things... alone.

Don't you think 'Politics' is funny? I mean: 'Poli' in Latin means 'many' and 'tics' means'bloodsucking creatures'

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

Revenge, like pizza, is best served cold.

Sometimes you need to hit the lowest point of being sad, the point where you can't take it anymore and completely lose yourself, to finally get back up on your feet again. Without fear, there would be no accomplishment, no testing of out limitations.

~End Quotes~

Stop stereotypes! Copy this list into your profile and add any more that you can think of. BOLD ones are me.

I'm a girl so I never want to kick your ass.

I'm intuitive, so I must be a snoop.

I'm a klutz, so I CAN'T do ANYTHING right.

I like Twilight, it must dictate all my life.

I want to be a housewife, so I must be oppressed.

I enjoy wearing a hijab, headscarf, so I must be an oppressed, Islamic, terrorist whore.

I am religious, I must hate everyone else.

I think about taking a religious vocation, I must have heard God talking in my head.

I am asian, I must be Filipino, Korean, or Chinese.

I am Japanese, I must be an extremist.

I am half Japanese, so I must be confused about my identity.

I can't spell and I don't have good grammar, so I must be unable to speak eloquently.

I'm a girl, so I never want to throw a punch.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell. (Thats bullshit. I have a bunch of gay friends!)

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenience store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. (Yeah right.)

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. (I could just be smart.)

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. (Ptsh. I don't care what you think. My hair looked cool!)

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi. (I am not a Nazi, thank you.)

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO. (Last time I checked, I was straight.)

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. (I am not fat.)

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. (Nope.)

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black. (I'm not a wanna-be, thank you.)

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to always be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. (I'm actually strong, thank you.)

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant. (No.)

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirt (It's actually called a kilt)

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth. (Er...)

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. (Nuh uh!)

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. (People like blood?)

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE

I’m not the MOST POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy. (I am not a hippy, nor am I a tree hugger.)

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex. (Uhm, no.)

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. (I'm not a loner)

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pendantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid. (Nope.)

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too. (I don't cut.)

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp. (I don't really cry easily)

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake. (That's kinda funny.)

I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.

I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude

I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch

I'm WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer

I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish

I'm a GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress

I'm a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone's ass

I'm a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian

I'm POPULAR, so I MUST be a bitch

I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant

I'm FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual

I'm a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict

I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian

I'm a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie

I'm a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life

I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd or suck-up

I'm DIFFERENT, so I MUST just want attention

I'm an ACTOR/ACTRESS, so I MUST be mean

I'm THIN, so I MUST have an eating disorder

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz

I HAVE A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all

I'm BI, so I MUST have AIDS

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math

I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare

I'm PUNK, so I MUST slit my wrists

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist

I'm IRISH, so I MUST be an alcoholic

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore with a jock boyfriend

I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy

I LOVE RENT, so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS

I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hear crazy God voices in my head

I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries

I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports

I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time

I SPEAK GERMAN, so I MUST be a psycho Nazi

I'm IN BAND, so I MUST be a geek

I'm from CALIFORNIA, so I MUST be like the girls from "Laguna Beach" and "The OC"

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser

I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals

I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay

I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life (it could be fake)

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention

I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be gay too

I like to READ, so I MUST be a nerd

I FROWN a lot, so I MUST have a bad life

I get BAD GRADES, so I MUST be a slacker who doesn't try (I only get sucky grades sometimes.)

I'm a JEW, so I MUST hate all Germans

I DONT HAVE A BOYFRIEND, so i MUST be a lesbian, or a loser

I KNOW HOW TO SEW, so I MUST be old fashioned.

I OBSESS OVER MILEY CYRUS, so I MUST be a loser.

I LIVE IN FLORIDA, so I MUST be tan and hispanic

I'm WHITE, so I MUST not know how dance or run.

I'm WHITE, so i must be a loser.

I'm a NEWYORKER, so I MUST have a bad additude.

I'm the MIDDLE CHILD so I MUST be ignored.

I HAVE A LAPTOP, so i must be a spoiled brat.

I HAVE A MYSPACE, so I MUST be a sexual predator

I'm ITALIAN, so i MUST eat only pasta and tomato sauce.

I'm FUNNY, so I MUST not have a care in the world.

Stop stereotypes! Copy this list into your profile and add any more that you can think of. BOLD ones are me.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever sung a song you hated so much, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventilated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If you avoid teen fads and don't live your life according to others copy and paste this.

If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile.

I once read that only math can save us now. Put this in your profile if you're screwed.

Post this on your profile if you have ever had a major fan girl moment.(MANY times.)

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

I solemnly swear that anyone who flames my stories will get a flame back. FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE! BEAT OUT THE FLAMES! If you agree (or hate flamers) put this in your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy/paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the population would die if Johnny Depp said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy this onto your profile if you would be one of the 2 percent that is laughing your butt off.

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile.

If you have ever considered going to the dark side since they have cookies, copy this onto your profile.

If you are starting to like darkness more then light, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you want Jack Sparrow for President, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wanted to give a movie or show character a flyingtacklehug, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think High School Musical sucks...and you hate it to no end and is an insult to the classic Disney movies and musicals...then copy and paste this now!!

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room for no reason copy this into your profile.(and it always happens at the WORST possible time imaginable)

If with no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, copy this into your profile.

Insanity is defined as doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. If you're insane, copy this onto your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself . So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, put this in your profile.

If you actually take the time to read other people's profiles, put this in yours.

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

I'm the kind of person who walks into a door and apologizes.

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just one review, paste this into your profile.

If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours and hours reading stories that people who have no lives whatsoever and have enough obsession with something to write a story about it have written, and you are one of the aforementioned people, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could have clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you're easily confused or confuzzled add this to you're profile

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile.

If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy this into ya profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile

If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination, copy and paste here.

If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever sat in a class and poked the person in front of you just for fun, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table for no reason copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end reading multiple fanfictions copy and paste this on your profile

If you like being utterly random copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever been hit by a parked car copy and paste this into your profile.

If your right mind has ever had a fight with ur left mind copy it into your profile.

If you listen to and talk back to the voices in your head and find nothing wrong with it because you know they're there, put this in your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter, Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

Copy and paste this in your profile if you think that some times we take things for granted

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to bury the body of the person that made you cry.

FRIENDS: Will pass you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and runs.

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will hide you from the cops.

BEST FRIENDS: Are probably the reason they’re after you in the first place.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the cell with you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FRIENDS: Will help you find your way when you're lost.

BEST FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with your compass, stealing your map and giving you bad directions.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'M HOME

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say, "Girl drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!"

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this shit

You know you live in 2008 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace.

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.

7.As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

8. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.

9. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.

10. You were too busy to notice number five.

11. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.

12. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.

13. Put this in your pro if you fell for it. You know you did.

Please Read What's Under This

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.

If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever copy and pasted something to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, Vampiregal22,Edward-Lover1, SPOONS Secret Agent Alice,Mrs.EdwardAMCullen,Isabell the Looser XxIsabellaWolfxX

If you are obsessed with fan fiction copy this into your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

If they are right...copy and paste this into your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. (All the time.)

92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever been hit on the head with a writor's block, copy and paste this on your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you run into inanimate objects...and then blame them for it copy and paste this in your profile.

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile.

Two Wolves

One evening an old P.E. teacher told his students about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “Students, the battle is between two “wolves” inside us all.

One is evil. It is self-doubt, inferiority, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is good. It is hope, humility, joy, peace, love, serenity, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.”

The students thought about it for a minute and then asked their teacher: “Which wolf wins?”

The old P.E. teacher simply replied, “The one you feed.”

repost this if you thought it was...something...and loved my P.E. teacher for handing it out to me.

Too Much Speeding

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.”

“Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.”

“But, officer, I just wanted to say--”

“And I said to keep quiet! You’re going to jail!”

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you that the chief’s at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.”

“Don’t count on it,” answered the fellow in the cell, “I’m the groom.”

copy and paste this into your profile if you laughed until you peed...you know you did! or just repost it because you liked it

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy:Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his brake wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died.

Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.

Best friends through thick and thin!
If you cry, I cry,
If you laugh, I laugh,
If you fight, I got your back,
If you trip, I'll catch you when you fall,
If you jump off a bridge... Oh heck ,wait for me!"

I thought it was funny:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
God made me beautiful,
What happened to you?

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, letthemusicplay, -Jessica-Bella, xxDeath's Daughterxx, Pixel Alice, Isabell the Looser,XxIsabellaWolfxX

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace,or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment),who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.:HarryArtemis1220, edwardcullenissosexy, i love the twilight series, Macyn Cullen, XxAngel GirlxX, Singing in the Shadows..., Hermitt, y.cant.i.be.invisible,twilightfanatic247, XxIsabellaWolfxX

If you ever randomly burst into song, copy this onto your profile.

I am the girl that people look through when I say something.
I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.
I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.
I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone.
I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year.(or 3)
I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.
BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is,
doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment),
who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more,
who can express herself better with words than actions,
who doesn't need a guy to complete her,
and knows the importance of the little things.

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

-On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

-On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
-On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be how?)
-On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".
(But, it's just a suggestion).
-On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
-On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought?...)
-On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
-On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
-On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(And...I'm taking this because?)
-On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what?)
-On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
-On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash!)
-On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
-On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
-On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)’

'Things To Do At Wal-Mart While You Wait For Your Family To Shop:

1. Get boxes of condoms and put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.

2. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the restrooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and announce in an official tone, "I think we have a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.

4. Put some M&M's on lay-away.

5. Set up a tent in the camping department. Tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

6. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

7. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible.'

8. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

9. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.

10. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through whisper 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line

hahahah!! funnyness!!

Annoying things to do on an elevator:

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

23) TRY and feed someone hamburger helper

like in that hamburger helper commercial.

STORY! :)

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

So, why don't we get to know each other better, dear reader?

Do you like Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain?

If so, I hope you don't pass out and get pneumonia.

If you have ever ran up a down escalator or vise-versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your pro!

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

Musing of George Carlin

Why do they put Braille on drive-through bank machines?

How do they get the deer to cross the road at that yellow road sign?

What was the best thing before sliced-bread?

One thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

If you fail, and suceed, which have you done?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have a "s" in it?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

Light Bulb Jokes

How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

--Four. One to change it and three to deny it.

How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

--That depends, does it have health insurance?

How many lawyers does it take...?

--How many can you afford?

How many CEO's does it take...?

--None. We contract out for things like that.

How many military information officers?

--At the present time it is against our policy and our strategy's best interests to divulge information of that nature. Next question.

Exercise For People Over 50

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags...Then try 50-lb potato bags and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight out for more than a full minute.\

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.

What Have I Learned Over the Years?

I started with nothing...I still have most of it.

When did my wild oats turn to runes and All Bran?

I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.

Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.

If all is not lost, then where is it?

It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

The first rule of holes: If you're in one, stop digging.

I went to school to become a wit, I only got halfway through.

It was all so different before everything changed.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

I wish the buck stopped here; I could use a few of them.

It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

The only time the worlds beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you,
But the roses are wilting,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty,
And so is your head.

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed

female come backs
pick up line comebacks, add to it

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!
Woman: Really? I have the incredible urge to plant my foot up your @.

A True Boyfriend:

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her.

When she stares at your mouth
Kiss her.

When she pushes you or hits you
Grab her and don't let go.

When she starts cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her.

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong.

When she ignores you
Give her your attention.

When she pulls away
Pull her back.

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful.

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don't say a word.

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind.

When she's scared
Protect her.

When she lays her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her.

When she steals your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.

When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh.

When she doesn't answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay.

When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up.

When she says that she likes you
she really does more than you could understand.

When she grabs at your hands
Hold hers and play with her fingers.

When she bumps into you
bump into her back and make her laugh.

When she tells you a secret
keep it safe and untold.

When she looks in your eyes
don't look away until she does.

When she misses you
she's hurting inside.

When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away.

When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers.

When she re-posts this bulletin
she wants you to read it

Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.

When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

When she says she's OK don't believe it,
talk with her - because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

Tease her and let her tease you back.

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.

Give her the world.

Let her wear your clothes.

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.

Let her know she's important.

Kiss her in the pouring rain.

When she runs up to you crying,
the first thing you say is:
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.

Guys post as: "I'd be this boyfriend."
Girls post as: "A true boyfriend" or "what a boyfriend should do"

1) Pick your favorite number between 1-9

2) Multiply by 3 then

3) Add 3, then again Multiply by 3 (I'll wait while you get the calculator...)

4) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number….

5) Add the digits together

1. Einstein

2. Nelson Mandela

5. Bill Gates

6. Gandhi

7. Brad Pitt

8. Hitler

9. XxIsabellaWolfxX

10. Barack Obama

Ok people stop picking different numbers. I AM YOUR IDOL, JUST DEAL WITH IT!!

Now copy and paste this into your profile, and change your name in #9.

So first, all you have to do is pick any 10 book characters you want
~And please don’t look ahead! Unless you want the quiz to be ruined!~
And I chose...

1. Seth Clearwater from Twilight
2. Katherine from vd
3. Jasper from Twilight
4.Jared from twilight
5. Emmet from twilight
6. Alice Cullen from Twilight
7. Daisy from dead is the new black
8. Ryan from Dead is the new black (I imagine him as hot cause theres a hot dude named ryan at my school hehe)
9. Thierry from Night world
10. Rosalie from Twilight

Now that you have your characters, answer the questions!

What would you do if:

1. Number 5 (Emmet) was stranded on the toilet because she was out of paper?

He doesnt have too use the potty XD

2. You came home one day and found Number 3 (Jasper) and Number 7 (Daisy) in your house, both drunk out of their minds?

I would use it too my advantage and fuck Jasper (who wouldnt?)

3. Number 8 (Ryan) offered to fix the plumbing problems with your house?

I would smile and let him do it and hope it was really a booty call XD

4. Number 2 (Katherine) showed up at school as your substitute teacher for the day?

ask her to turn me into a vampire!

5. You accidentally saw Number 10 (Rosalie) wearing nothing but a small, purple speedo?

Wtf?! I have no commet

6. Number 3 (Jasper) insisted on driving you around town to wherever you wanted to go for the entire day?

I would go anywhere with him!

7. Number 9 (Thierry) killed Number 4 (Jared) right in front of you?

i would kill Thierry

Would you allow:

1. Number 6 (Alice) to redecorate your house for you, however they see fit?

Yeah she has good style

2. Number 1 (Seth) to be your dentist and work in your mouth with a drill?

YES YES YES YES YES YES SETH CAN DO ANYTHING TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3. Number 10 (Rosalie) and Number 5 (Emmet) to be left alone in your house or apartment unsupervised for an entire weekend?

Yeah as long as they didnt break to much

4. Number 8(Ryan) to borrow some of your clothes and wear them in public?

No then he would be gay!

5. Number 2 (Katherine) to try to fix your computer when it's messed up?

Sure why not

6. Number 4 (Jared) to set you up on a date with Number 9 (Thierry)?

No I rather have Jared!

7. Number 1 (Seth) and Number 3 (Jasper) to operate heavy machinery together?

Yeah! too hot dudes operating machinery...

Relationship Section:

1. Number 5 (Emmet) asks Number 2 (Katherine) out on a date. Upon seeing this, what do you do or say?

Slap Emmet hes supposed to be with Rosalie!

2. Number 7 (Daisy) asks you to a dance. Do you accept?

Nooooo...

3. Number 8 (Ryan) and Number 9 (Thierry) are fighting over you. What happens now?

Probablly faint

4. What if Number 1(Seth) kissed you?

Die of happiness just the thought omg he is sooooo hot I would so kiss him back and then probablly faint

5. Number 3 (Jasper) confesses his secret love for Number 5 (Emmet). What do you think of this?

EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW'

6. Number 6 (Alice) is cheating on Number 7 (Daisy) with Number 3 (Jasper), and you find out about it. What do you do?

Shrg my shoulders and be creeped out that daisy and Alice were together

7. Number 4 (Jared) proposes to you. Your reaction?

Scream yes

Random nonsense:

1. What in the name of Holy Rabbit Dogs was Number 1 (Seth) doing outside in nothing but a small pink towel at 3 AM!?

We got finished doing it outside in the grass!

2. What if Number 2 (Katherine) tied Number 4 (Jared) to a flagpole and threw shoes at him/her until he/she cried?

I would watch laughing slightly

3. ...and then Number 8 (Ryan) and Number 5 (Emment) danced around the table in their underwear. Your reaction upon seeing this?

Take my clothes off and dance with them

4. Number 10 (Rosalie) has just officially been given a Drivers License. What happens now?

She alreayd has one

5. Would YOU get a crush on Number 9 (Thierry)?

Sure

6. What was Number 6 (Alice) in prison for?

Over shopping!

7. What if, suddenly, Number 4 (Jared) smashed through the wall of your room in a bikini, posed, and shouted "OHHHH YEEEEAAAAH!"...?

I would be staring at him wondering why he was wearing a bikini but then start giggling

What Would You Do If...

1.Number 1 (Seth) woke you up in the middle of the night?

I would blink in surprise and hope it was a booty call

2. Number 2 (Katherine) asked you to go out with him?

...no...

3. Number 3 (Jasper) walked into the bathroom while you're showering?

let him join me

4. Number 4 (jared) cooked you dinner?

Would smile and eat it...

5. Number 5 (Emment) was lying next to you on the beach, sleeping?

Look at him wondering how he was sleeping

6. Number 8 (Ryan) got into the hospital somehow?

Start crying hes awesome

7. Number 9 (Thierry) made fun of your friends?

Stab him

8. Number 10 (Rosalie) ignored you all the time?

Set her on fire

What Would They Do Under The Following Circumstances?

1. Two serial killers are hunting you down. What will Number 1 (Seth) do?

Seth would protect me and kill the serial killers

2. You're on a vacation with Numbe 2 (Katherine) and you manage to break your leg. What does Number 2 do?

Take me too the hospital

3. It's your birthday. What will 3 (Jasper) give you?

A kiss hopefully

4. You're stuck in a house that's on fire. What does Number 4 (Jared) do?

Come in and save me!

5. You're about to do something that'll make you feel extremely embarrassed. What will Number 5 (Emment) do?

Watch laughing his ass off

6. You're about to marry Number 8(Ryan). What's Number 6's (Alice) reaction?

Ugh your marriying a mutt?!

7. You got dumped by someone. How will Number 7 (Daisy) cheer you up?

Take me too slims

8. You're angry about it afterwards, how does Number 8 (Ryan)calm you down?

Take his shirt off...what it would work

9. You compete in some tournament. How does Number 9 (Thierry) support you?

Im not sure...

10. You can't stop laughing. What will Number 10 (Rosalie) do?

Snort and roll her eyes

Relationship Part

1. Number 1 (Seth) is all you've ever dreamed of.

YES YES YES YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES!!!!!!!

2. Number 2 (Katherine) tells you about his deeply hidden love for Number 9 (Thierry). Your reaction?

Go get him Katherine

3. You're dating Number 3 (Jasper) and introduce him to your parents. Will they get along?

Yes Jasper would use his power to make them like him

4. Number 4 (Jared) loves Number 9 (Thierry) as well. What does that mean?

JAREDS GAY1???????!!?!?!?!??!?!?!!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!

5. Number 6 (Alice) appears to break many hearts. What do you do?

Talk to her about it!

6. You had a haircut and Number 7 (Daisy) can't stop looking at you. What goes on in your mind?

Thinks it looks ugly

7. Number 8 (Ryan) thinks he'll never get a girlfriend. What will you tell him?

Ill go out with you!

Friendship Part

1. Could Number 1 (Seth) and Number 6 (Alice) be soul mates?

No Seth is my soul mate go away alice!

2. Would Number 2 (Katherine) trust Number 5 (Emmentt)?

No

3. Number 3 (Jasper) wants to go shopping, will Number 7 (Daisy) come along?

Sure

4. Number 4 (Jared) is bored and pokes Number 10 (Rosalie). What happens after that?

She would attack Jared

5. Number 5 (Emmett) and Number 1 (Seth) are forced to go back to school together. What study will they pick?

Emment it depends really and Seth well Im not sure...

6. If Number 6 (Alice) and Number 3 (Jasper) cooked dinner, what would they make?

Sex salad

7. Number 7 (Daisy) and Number 9 (Thierry) apply for a job. What job?

Emmett: Phsychic detectivre, Gabreil: idk?

8. Number 8 (Ryan) gives Number 5 (Emmett) a haircut. Is that OK?

NOOOOO Im sure Ryan doesnt like Vampires and emmett doesnt like werewolves

9. Number 9 (Thierry) sketches what Number 6's (Alice) perfect mate should look like.

Jasper...

10. Number 10 (Rosalie) and Number 8 (Ryan) are blushing while they talk. What is their conversation about?

Sex

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl) comix-freak (Artemis Fowl (and Arty is my one and only!))scarilyobsessed (Fang, from maximum ride) Natalie-07 (Jack Sparrow, I know I know he's older then my dad but it's not like we're actually dating!) Silverstar's Shadow (Kratos Aurion (like practically every other girl who plays ToSreligiously), Yuan (damn the people who decided to never tell you his last name!), Sirius Black (not Gary the Old Man... I imagined him to look a little more like Adam from Three Days Grace... hehe... Ahem.), Draco Malfoy), AsterEris:Firefall'sLegacy(Jasper Cullen...sigh), AviorHyrax (Fell from fell...I love him, I know, hes a wolf...can't I have my dream? Murtaghlaughing really hard right now Aster..., Mr. Darcyawwwww, i love him, again, still laughing,artemis fowl, Victor, from Cathy's book/key(I have a lot more but still), MiracleJade (Legolas from Lord of the Rings, Murtagh from Eragon movie (sucked) and Kisten from Kim Harrison books), xXxNyte-chanxXx (Edward Cullen-Twilight duh...Ian MacPhie-Love at Skate series), The Dawn Is Breaking (Edward Cullen -squee-, Edward Rochester (Jane Eyre)) Euffie (Edward Cullen - Twilight, and Edward Elric - FullMetal Alchemist … I LOVE Edwards!), ALYSHA CULLEN ( TOTAL EDWARD BUT TAYLOR LAUTNER (JACOB) IS SO DAMM HOT), Bididle08 (Edward Cullen and Jacob Black!!)Vampirewithasecret(Damon Salvatore, Gabriel Wolfe, Julian), Heart-Broken-In-Love(Seth!!, Ryan, Alec,(hehe), Demetri, Jasper, Emmett, Jared)

95% of teens would cry if they saw Justin Bieber at the top of a skyscraper about to jump.Copy and paste this if you are part of the 5 that would sit there with popcorn and a camera and yell "DO A FLIP".

Amanda Starman's Interview: Copy and paste this to your profile. Erase my answers and write yours.

What is your favorite food?

Thailand Rice and chicken

What is your least favorite food?

any vegetables

What is your favorite movie?

The Orphan and Eclipse

What is your least favorite movie?

Barney

What is your favorite book series?

Twilight Saga

What is your least favorite book series?

none

What is your favorite book that is not in a series?

Dead is the new black (okay there is other books after it but its not really a series)

What is your least favorite book that is not in a series?

the secret garden

Who is your favorite FanFiction author? (besides yourself, of course.)

Vampirewithasecret and,KazumieXheartless.

What is your favorite FanFiction story? (besides yours of course.)

Shows they cant do together by KazumieXheartless

Who's your favorite character out of all your favorite books?

Seth and Jared from Twilight!

Sign your Fanfiction pen name. Do not erase other pen names.

1. Amanda Starman 2. Lacey-The-Invisible-Ninja2410 3.vampirewithasecret 4. Heart-Broken-In-Love

Lastly, add comments! Do not erase other people's comments. Please do not use profanity.

1. Amanda Starman- I made this interview. I hope you like it!

2.Lacey-The-Invisible-Ninja2410-This was pretty cool!

3. vampirewithasecret- That blew some time

4. Heart-Broken-In-Love- Well I guess im finished right?

I'm the kind of person who would burst out laughing in the middle of dead silence at something that happened last year.If you are like me in that way copy and paste this on your profile

That actually happens to me a lot. A few months ago,in the middle of math,I just starting laughing so hard, my teacher started laughing!I was thinking about last year in the middle of class, this dude blurted out ,"The ketchup in the cafeteria smells weird." everyone started cracking up,including my teacher!She was actually one of the best teachers I've ever had.You had to be there,I guess.Copy and paste this on your profile if something like this ever happened to you and add your name to the list:Lacey-The-Invisible_Ninja2410-vampirewithaceret, Heart-Broken-In-Love

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, zElDaPhAnToM-bLiNdBaNdIt-RaVeN, Firehawk, Rainfire, Snowfur, Firestar's Gal, Amberstar-Leader of SkyClan, Liza Taylor, Spiritpelt, Swiftpaw of WindClan, rainstorm( mosspath gets really annoyed)mosspath(cos the reviews and etc come 2 MY email!), Emberheart0,Mudfur,Lacey-The-Invisible-Ninja2410, vampirewithascret, Heart-Broken-In-Love

████ You say prep - I say goth

████ You say pink - I say black

████ you say Jesse McCartney - I say DIE!!!

████ You say Paris Hilton - I say what the heck?

████ You say Pop - I say Rock

████ You say Hannah Montana - I say Linkin Park

████ you say im weird - I say I'm different

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breath. Copy this into your profile if you'd be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.

1. put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle

2. for each question, press the next button to get your next answer

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAMES NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

1. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

Choppa What I'm Holdin by Soulja boy

2. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Lady Marmalade by Christina Aguleria

3. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Rock Steady by All saints (I love this song!)

4. WHAT IS 2+2?

Super Hero lover by Daze

5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Walk wit a dip by Ca$h

6. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Do yo shuffle by Soulja boy

7. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

I hope you choke by Blood on The Dance floor

8. WHAT DO YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

So What by Pink

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Dr Jones By Aqua

10. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

XXXO By M.I.A.

11. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

Conversations With My 13 year old self by Pink

12. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

I just got my report car by Soulja boy

13. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBIE/INTREST?

Pretty boy swag by Soulja boy

14. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

Secret By the pierces (thats creepy)

15. WHAT DO YO THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Kill the dj by nicki minaj

16. WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?

Now Im That bitch by Livi frank and Pitbull

17. HOW WILL YOU DIE?

Dinosaur By Kesha

18. WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WILL REGRET?

Sexting By Blood On the Dance floor (I probablly will ;))

19. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?

Sexy Naughty Bitchy Me by Tata young

20. WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?

Fuck it by eamon

21. WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?

Too young By Mario c and Legacy

22. WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?

Check Yes juilet by We the kings (i think thats who its by...)

23. DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?

Vampire by Xandria

24. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?

Ima monster by blood on the dance floor

25. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?

Alive by Leona Lewis

26. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

Sisters of the light by Xandria

I cried when I read this on CandyEaters profile page... so here you go(I chose 2)...

A SAD Story:

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than five or six years old. The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just five minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly, "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said, "I told Daddy to tell Mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from Target."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me, "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."

"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy, "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said, "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that Mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose. My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart