![]() Author has written 2 stories for Twilight, and Harry Potter. I'M BACKKK!! my parents grounded me from fan fic and they still have but im doing this is secret so shhhh anyways I have a major case of writers block and will not be writing my story for a while. Sorry :( I hope you break threw and and hopefully start to write some new and more stories. Hopefully everyone will still read it and hopefully my viewers don't abandon me. Sorry 90 percent of the teenage population would have a break down if Miley Cyrus or the Jonas Brothers were standing on top of the Empire State Building. Repost this if you are one of the 10 percent who would be yelling JUMP BITCH!! MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS: 1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. 5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong. 7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog. 8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. 9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first. 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer. 11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. 12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. 13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. I hate Jasper, he makes me love him. I love Emmet, he can make me feel petite. He can make anyone feel petite. I dislike Edward, he knows that, and I did say it out loud. I hate Rosalie, she's a threat to my self-esteem. I love Alice, she's my favorite vampire. I love Esme, she's as sweet as my aunt. Ohhhhh, wait thats not a compliment. I love Carlisle, he can fix allll my broken bones. Or he can wreck my virginity. Either of the two I'm fine with. I love Jacob, he is so hot. Literally. I like Charlie, whenever I want to experiance an awkward silence, I'll visit him. I hate Bella, she gets all the good mythical creatures then complains about it. I hate Aro, I would never hold his hand. I hate Cauis. So does everybody else. Thats news. I love a good giant dog with temper issues. Who wouldn't? I love a a beautiful, blood thirsty, vampire with immortality! Who woulnd't? I hate Renesmee, wait... no I don't. It's not her fault her mom is a dumbass. I hate Bella, wait... Yep I still hate her. I love Quil Jr., he's the best baby-sitter in the world... at least for Claire he is. I love Paul, he can explode on me anytime. I love Leah, she deserves better than Sam. I love Emily... Has she cooked any blueberry muffins? I love Marcus, I use his face as a lullaby. I hate Snape... Oh wait, wrong story. Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts: ... I was crying with laughter halfway through it XD 1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball. 2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office. 3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter. 4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick. 5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar. 6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination. 7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms." 8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy. 9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month." 10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand. 12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force." 13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work." 14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot. 15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it. 16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive. 17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast. 18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day." 19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways. 20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor. 21) I am not authorised to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldermort 22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy. 23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling. 24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full." 25) I am Not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur 26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate. 27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways. 28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees." 29) I will not tell Draco to “Make like a ferret and bounce” 30) It is exceptionally tasteless to tell Professor Lupin ‘Once you go black you never go back’ 31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core." 32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm. 33) I will not greet Professor McGonagall with “What’s new pussy cat?” 34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion. 35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends." 36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends." 37) I will not start singing and dancing in the middle of lessons and claim someone put the imperious cure on me. 38) I will Not tell Ron and Hermione to ‘get a room’ whenever they start fighting 39) I will not tell Severus Snape he takes himself to seriously. Same applied for Minerva McGonagall. 40) Ravenclaw’s do not find a sign saying the library is closed for an indefinite time period funny in any sense. Nor does Hermione Granger. 41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck. 42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus. 43) I will not lick Trevor. 44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey." 45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween. 46) I will not refer to Lucius Malfoy as a pimp - even if he does carry a pimp cane 47) I am no longer allowed to use the words ‘pimp cane’ in front of Draco Malfoy 48) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions. 49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice. 50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God. PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!! - I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it and you don't have to be gay to do so. I'm not, but I will stand up against anyone who has a problem with homosexuality. Becasue in my option, no one has the right to do this things just becuase of who you are, becuase of something you can't change. Stand up for the people who have been beaten down for years! I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party. I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting. I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, ihatejacob1, .i.love.the.emo.corner., Swimming Cutie xox, Ninja.twilight.forever. |
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