Stinkybiscuits515
 yo peeps! I'm a little new here so heres what i have to say.I LOVE the twilight series and the maximum ride series.DA BEST!!!!! When i get a little used to things here i have TONS of stories to write for y'all to read. PEACE OUT!!!!!!:) copy and paste this on your profile if you hate school and would gladly burn the building down. Copy and paste this on your profile if you adore Taylor Lautner and have posters of him plastered all over your room. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you have read Twilight over 20 times . Copy and paste this onto your profile if you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore . Copy and paste this onto your profile if you are weird and proud of it! Copy and paste this onto your profile if you have ever fallen backwards off a chair . If your like Sharpies, penguins, cookies, close friends, MSN, and the internet, copy this to your profile. If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this onto your profile . If, for any particular reason, you have laughed during a movie that wasn't funny, put this onto your profile . If you've ever wondered if you were adopted because of your sibling, copy this onto your profile . If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile . Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned with being popular. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy and paste this onto your profile . I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a friend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight and who can express herself better with words than actions . Copy and paste this onto your profile if you are anything like me . :) i am a girl, i am between the ages of 0 and 100 i LOVE TO LAUGH my fave twilight pairings are emmett/rose, jasper/alice bella/jacob or bella/edward jacob/nessie(u find out who she is in B.D.) If the Jonas Brothers said breathing wasn't cool 95 percent of girls would be dead. If you would be part of the 5 percent who'd laugh their ass off at them, post this on your profile 98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile. 92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle/Aeropostal told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile. If you've ever asked a stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this to your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. YOUR REAL NAME: Bailey YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Baiizzle(that sounds like the seasoning) YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Emerald Wolf(Booyah!) YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name and current street name): Marie Centry YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Aquamarine Pepsi(sounds fruity) YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maidenname, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Alrcbme?????????? YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name): Marie Your Star Wars name (first three letters of your last name, first two letters of your first): Walba(mmmmm) YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Missy List twelve of your favorite characters from your fandom, in no particular order. 1. Jake 2. Renee 3. Bella 4. Edward 5. Emmett 6. Esme 7. Alice 8. Renesmee 9. Carlisle 10. Seth 11. Jasper 12. Rosalie 1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to? Esme and Jasper? I can't picture it. 2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot? Edward? He comes in second, right next to Jacob! 3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? Rosalie got Renesmee pregnant? Eww no! That shouldn't even exist! 4. Can you recall any fics about Nine? Yeah, how Carlisle became a vamp. 5. Would Two and Six make a good couple? Renee and Esme? No! 6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why? Emmett/Carlisle or Emmett/Seth...NEITHER bleck! 7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex? Alice would scream and Renee and Rosalie would run and strangle her. 8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic. Bella and Seth would hook up and forget about everyone else. 9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff? Jacob and Renesmee? Hell yeah! 10. Suggest a title and summary for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic Fashion Downer-Alice insults Rose's Fashion sense and Rose won't take her shopping ever again. They both turn to thei boyfriends. 11. Does anyone on your friends list read Three yet? Yes 12. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven? Um, yeah 13. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five? Renee, Edward, and Emmett? I don't think so. 14. If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose? Renesmee-Oh My My My (Mary's Song) by Taylor Swift. It would be about her and Jake. 13. When was the last time you read a fic about Five? Emmett? A few minutes ago. 14. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).” Jake and Alice are in a happy relationship until Carlisle runs off with Edward. Jake, brokenhearted, has a hot one night stand with Jasper and a brief unhappy affair with Rosalie, then follows the wise advice of Emmett and finds true love with Bella. Weird, but er well I geuss okay in the end. 15) 4 invites 3 and 8 to dinner at their house. What happpens? Edward invites Bella and Renesmee to dinner at his house. The perfect family! 16) 9 tries to get 5 to go to a yoga class. What happens? Carlisle tries to get Emmett to go to a yoga class. He'll probably go but goof off and break everything. 17) You need to stay at a friend’s house for the night. Do you choose 1 or 6? Jake or Esme hmmm... This one is tricky but I would have to say Esme. 18) 2 and 7 are making out. 10 walks in...Their reaction? Renee and Alice are making out Seth walks in goes EWWWWW! and runs out. 19) 3 falls in love with 6. 8 is jealous. What happens? Bella falls in love Esme?! Seriously?! The only thing Renesmee will be jealous of is Bella taking her Grandma time. 20) 4 jumps you in a dark alleyway. Who comes to your rescue? 10, 2 or 7? Edward jumps me. Renee, Alice, or Seth. Probably Seth. 21) 1 decides to start a cooking show. 15 minutes later what is happening? Jake has hopelessly burnt his dish and all of the food is on fire and his dreams go up in smoke. Ha ha gotta love it! 22) 3 has to marry either 8, 4 or 9. Who do they chose? Bella has to marry either Renesme, Edward, or Carlisle. EDWARD! 23) 7 kidnaps 2 and demands something from 5 for 2's release. What is it? Alice kidnaps Renee and demand something from Emmett for Renee's release. What is it? Her Porche that he stole! 24) You get to meet either 1 or 6. Who do you chose? Jake! Esme's nice and all but he's muscular! 25) 10 challenges 4 to a chariot race. Why? Seth challenges Edward to a chariot race. Um, to prove he's better at old-fashioned things? 26) Everyone gangs up on 3. What happens? Everyone gangs up on Bella. She decided to go to the Volturi or something. 27) Everyone is invited to 2 and 10 wedding except for 8. How do they react? Everyone is invited to Renee and Seth's wedding except for Renesmee. I would rather she didn't see that. 28) Why is 6 afraid of 7? Alice spends all of Esme's money shopping! 29) 10 gathers everyone around to tell them a fairy tale. How does it go? Seth gathers everyone around to tell them a fairy tale. They laugh cuz it's sure to be funny! 30) 1 arrives late for 2 and 10's wedding. What happens? And why are they late? Jake arrives late for Renee and Seth's wedding. He didn't want to see his bff suffer. 31) 5 and 9 get roaring drunk and end up at your house. What happens? Emmett and Carlisle get drunk? I would kick them out and send'em to bed! ;) 32) 3,6 and 4 all go to the zoo for 8's birthday party. How does it go? What presents do they get 8? Bella,Esme and Edward all go to the zoo for Renesmee's birthday party. Good, shiny sparkly things. 33) Everyone gets together and starts protesting something outside of your house. What are they protesting? What do you do? IDK and I hide. 34) 9 murders 2’s best friend. What does 2 do to get back at them? Carlisle murders Renee's BFF. Calls the police? 35) 6 and 1 are in mortal danger. Only one of them can survive. Does 6 save himself or 1? Esme and Jake are in mortal danger. Esme saves Jake cuz she cares about other people. 36) 5 is trapped in a cave. 10 comes to rescue them. What happens? Emmett is trapped in a cave. Seth comes to rescue them. There is many slappings of high fives and a lot of jokes. 37) 3 starts a day camp. What happens? Bella starts a day camp. Someone probably convinced her to go and she gets hurt every 5 minutes. 38) 4,6, and 7 are doing the Hokey-Pokey. 8 walks in. What happens? Edward, Esme, and Alice are doing the Hokey-Pokey. Renesmee walks in. She wonders what's going on they convince her to do it with them and she does so now they're all doing the Hokey-Pokey. 39) 1 starts to write a story where 9 and 10 are going out. What is 2's reaction? Jake starts to write a story where Carlisle and Seth are going out. Renee disapproves bigtime. 40) 7 makes an apple pie. Is it any good? I would think so... Alice's pies are yummy right? 41) 8 and 3 go camping. For some reason they forget to bring any food. What do they do? Renesmee and Bella go camping. Since Bella's not human anymore, and Nessie doesn't eat food they go hunting! 42) While they are camping, they run into James (from Twilight). What do they do? Well, James is dead... 43) (5) (4), (7), (1) and (3) are playing Truth or Dare. (5) asks (7), and (7) says Truth. (5) asks who (7) loves, and (7), after some prodding from (3), confessed their true love with (4). (4) does not share the feeling, and in fact is in a secret relationship with (3). (7) is heartbroken, and seeks comfort in (1) while (3) and (4) run into the sunset together. However, (5) is secretly in love with (1), and become so jealous of (7), who, after the comfort from (1) becomes in a relationship with (1), and so (5) decides to murder (7), but is stopped just in time by the police officer (10) and is sent to prison, allowing (1) and (7) to continued their relationship. Holy Macarole!... Emmett, Edward, Alice, Jacob, and Bella are playing Truth or Dare. Emmett asks Alice, and Alice says Truth. Emmett asks who Alice loves, and Alice, after some prodding from Bella, confessed their true love with Edward. Edward does not share the feeling, and in fact is in a secret relationship with Bella. Alice is heartbroken, and seeks comfort in Jacob while Bella and Edward run into the sunset together. However, Emmett is secretly in love with Jacob, and become so jealous of Alice, who, after the comfort from Jacob becomes in a relationship with Jacob, and so Emmett decides to murder Alice, but is stopped just in time by the police officer Seth and is sent to prison, allowing Jacob and Alice to continued their relationship. Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. copyy this to your profile if you are against abortion!! WHAT A KISS MEANS Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready" What the gesture means... --Advice-- --Requirements-- If you LIKE, LOVE, OR MISS someone right now 98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile. Bella: Do I ever cross your mind? Edward: No Bella: Do you like me? Edward: No Bella: Do you want me? Edward: No Bella: Would you cry if I left? Edward: No Bella: Would you live for me? Edward: No Bella: Would you do anything for me? Edward: No Bella: Choose--me or your life Edward: My life Bella runs away in shock and pain and Edward runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile. If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile. If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have an iPod and love rocking out to it, post this in your profile If youu cried /uwhen you read New Moon, copy and paste this into your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile./b If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile. If you admited that you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile (how do u think i got theese?) IF YOU BELIVE IN GOD, READ THIS!! A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.' The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in. In the middle of the room In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew which smelled The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. The Lord said, 'You have seen Hell. They went to the next room and The holy man said, 'I don't understand. It is simple said the Lord. It requires but one skill. You see, they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves.' When Jesus died on the cross he was thinking of you! He died for you…why not live for Him? This is one of the saddest things ever! If you care, put this in your profile. My name is Sarah I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home. When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall. I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm sradishing to cry. He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door. He's already locked it And I sradish to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor. My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight my daddy, Murdered me. this poem is sad it is about child abuse is a bad this that alot of children in the world have to deal with put this on your profile help make a differnts to help the children that have to deal with being abuse. The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Did you know... kissing is healthy. bananas are good for period pain. it's good to cry. chicken soup actually makes you feel better. 94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers. lying is actually unhealthy. you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes. it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you. 89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move. it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed. chocolate will make you feel better. most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing. a good friend never judges. a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any. boys aren't worth your tears. we all love surprises. Now... make a wish. Wish REALLY hard!! WISH WISH WISH WISH Your wish has just been recieved. Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and... Your wish will be granted. If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile If you are against child abuse, copy and paste this into your profile. Put this in your profile if you didn't know the ABC's song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune... If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile. Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?" If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. 98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile. If you think Bella is out of her mind for saying no to Edward's proposal in New Moon and you want to hit her hard upside the head with a blunt axe, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile. If you adore chocolate and frequently suffer from chocolate cravings while you have no access to the heavenly substance, copy this into your profile. 93 percent of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would say "What was your first clue?” copy this onto your profile. If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid backside. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide. I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that stuff up in two seconds. That's why when I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you". If you slap anyone who tells you that Edward Cullen is not real, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile. If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. If you have ever wanted to just SLAP someone, copy this into your profile. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, bright black stars, StormDragon666, Sasuke's 2 Child Sayuri Uchiha, silver cherryblossom BrightRubyEyes, Crazii Kimmy Girl,Angelz on edge, HermioneGranger1993, Twilightluvr, Obsessededwardcullenluver, Edward's ONLY True Love, Arianna Cullen, vampiressbella2009, BronzeHariedMystery, twilight-saga-lover95, Maximum-Twilight313,Taylorjo515 COPY AND PASTE THIS IF YOU HAVE MORE THAN ONE OF THE SAME THING ON YOUR PROFILE. Having the love of your life say, "We can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. When angry, count to ten. When very angry, swear. Education is important. School, however, is another matter. Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS! When life give you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how you did it. Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils" "A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice." "I can resist everything except temptation." "Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you." Jacob Black glared at the children dressed as vampires, and he knew it wasn't right, but he lied and told them there was no candy left anyway. Copy and paste this in your profile if you would gladly drive to Forks, kidnap Jacob Black, and slap him with a rubber chicken until he admitted that Bella and Edward belong together, and that you are the awesomest person ever. I don't really believe this but it's weird:This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Girls For the first half of our childhood parent encourage us to walk and talk, but for the second they just tell us to sit down and shut up "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes." "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most." Quotes: 'I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day, and tomorrow does not look good either.' 'May God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and a big bag of money.' 'Cute but evil. Things even out.' 'You're ugly, and that's sad.' 'Roses are red, 'I'm not mean. You're just a sissy.' 'I know how you feel. I just don't care.' 'Plotting revenge is fun.' 'School prepares you for the real world, which sucks.' 'Hating you makes me feel warm inside.' 'It's okay if you want to drop dead.' Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it. You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. There is stupid coming out of your mouth hole again God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women. So many boys, so many reasons to stay alone I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you I hear your silence loud and clear Children in frontseats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children. Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow? How can i miss you if you never left? Education is important, school however, is another matter. Don’t mess with me I've got a stick. Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable Boys are like skateboards, they can go fast but usually there pretty slow. Boys are like knives, usefull but they'll cut you eventually If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving. I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder. You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night. Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? Help I've fallen and i cant...hey nice carpet! A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. "We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do." Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance. There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive Life is full of disappointments, and I'm full of life! Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality. Lifes Tough, get a helmet The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Can vegetarians eat Animals Crackers? Only in America, do banks have braile on the drive-thru ATMs. Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections? Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid? It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths The cops never find it as funny as you do Most girls don't realise these things; I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry But most of all I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm Sorry I'm sorry Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry' If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realise These Things' A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you. A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry. A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you. A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in. A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!" A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies. A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you whenyou aren't down anymore. A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial. A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you. A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story. A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries. FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS! FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up! FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste! FRIENDS: Would read ignore this. BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap! 15 Things to do when your in Walmart! 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" 12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, 13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. 14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 15.Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!" Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, C&P! My best friend is insane, if you agree or have an insane friend, copy and paste this on your pro. If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think that the Twilight books are the best books known to woman and man, copy and paste this onto your profile. THE EYES: GEORGE BUSH: ELECTION - RESULTS: what happens if you get scared half to death twice? 40 per cent of women have hurled footwear at a man. AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullens Including Bella Disorder, copy this onto your profile. If you are absolutely in love with Edward Cullen, no matter how much he overreacts (I find the whole overreacting thing endearing), no matter how much he gets overprotective, you will love him anyway, then copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: ForEverTopaz1901, MrsSarahCullen858,teamedward240,LOSHfan4546 , Maximum-Twilight313,Taylorjo515 If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think that the Twilight books are the best books known to woman and man, copy and paste this onto your profile. THE EYES: GEORGE BUSH: ELECTION - RESULTS: what happens if you get scared half to death twice? 40 per cent of women have hurled footwear at a man. AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullens Including Bella Disorder, copy this onto your profile. If you are absolutely in love with Edward Cullen, no matter how much he overreacts (I find the whole overreacting thing endearing), no matter how much he gets overprotective, you will love him anyway, then copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: ForEverTopaz1901, MrsSarahCullen858,teamedward240,LOSHfan4546 , Maximum-Twilight313 Lessons Learned in Twilight: SEAMCJWH is Stalker of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and Jasper Whitlock Hale ADD is Automatic Death Disorder WBWAVS is Wishing Bella Was A Vampire Syndrome LES is Love Edward Syndrome WIWAVS is Wishing I Was A Vampire Syndrome MECBIAV-Make Edward Change Bella Into A Vampire Club BIT is Bella In Training SEAMCJWHEMC is Stalker of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, Jasper Whitlock Hale, and Emmett McCarty Cullen RAP is Retards Attempting Poetry Writing is my fix. I'm a little perverted ... and kind of strange. So that's a little bit of me in a nutshell or however the hell that saying goes. Mom, I'm feeling so much pain right now It rips my heart to say this Mom, I know what and who I am It cuts me deeper every time when Now, yes, I've made mistakes in my life I always see you watching TV shows Whenever I ask you why that is Well, Mom, is that not hypocrisy Mom, I don't want to hate you All my friends accept me Please explain to me why that is Now, Mom, please - you must know Please, Mom, hold on to me There's so much more I need to say There's just one more thing you should know For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are and add a stereotype to the list.) I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer. I HAVE ACNE SO I MUST BE UGLY. When life gives you lemons, build a lemonade stand and make lemonade. Then use the profits of your lemonade business to buy a machine gun. Let's see if life makes the same mistake twice. for every winner there are dozens of losers. odds are you're one of them. you were meant for me. perhaps as a punishment. when they write 'unknown' after a quote, it's probably only because they don't know how to spell 'anonymous.' never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. cry me a river, build me a bridge, and jump! eagles may soar, but weasels don't get hit by airplanes. i tried sniffing coke. . .but the ice cubes got stuck up my nose. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If there are times where you annoy people just for the fun of it, copy and paste this into your profile If you think I have to many "copy and pastes" in my profile, copy and paste this to your profile. If you think I have at least one more "copy and paste" thingy in my profile, copy and paste this to your profile. If you were right, copy and paste this to your profile. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Novemberscorpion110388, Pinksakurablossom, Angelgirl18647, Winter Gallowsraven, Echizen Ryoma-san, Zaara the black, NegimaFan, Princess Falling Star, Tahza, Grace Raven, organization MA,Madison335, Maximum-Twilight313 If you enjoy reading the and copying the "copy and pastes" from other people's profiles to your own, copy and paste this to your profile. If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile If you've ever tripped over your on two feet copy and paste this in your profile. If you hate obnoxious ,snobby people PLEASE copy and paste this in your profile. If you've gotten so completly zoned out of a converstation that you don't even remember what you were talking about copy and paste this in your profile. If you ever got zoned out for more than five minutes copy and paste this in your profile. If you are bored copy and paste this in your profile There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you have a profile do the opposite of copying this to your profile, and do the oppesite of copying this to your profile 9 times... not. If you didn't get the thing above copy this to your profile and that too, up there. If you like blue copy this to your profile. If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile. 98 percent of teens do or have tried pot. If your are the 2 percent who have not, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this to your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE If you don't know why people can't get it through their heads that members of the opposite sex can just be friends, copy and paste this into your profile If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile If you think that it would be fun to be a cartoon, copy this message into your profile. You know you live in 2009 when... 1) You accidentally entered your password on a microwave. 2) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years. 3) The reason you're not keeping in touch with your friends is because they don't have a screenname or MySpace. 4) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV. 6) Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job. 7) As you read the list, you keep nodding and smiling. 8) As you read this, you're thinking about sending it to all your friends. 9) You were to busy to notice number 5. 10) You scrolled up to see if there was a number 5. 11) Now you're laughing at your stupidity! 12) Copy and paste this into your profile if you fell for it and I know you did. The 6 truths of life... 1. You can't lick all of your teeth with your tongue. 2. You just tried to do the above. 3. The first truth is a lie. 4. You're smiling now because you're realising you're an idiot. 5. You'll copy this into your profile for some other sucker to read it. 6. There's still a stupid smile on your face. XD Reasons why girls are the best 1. We got off the Titanic first 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 5. We can cry and get off speeding fines. 6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game. 7. Taxis stop for us. 8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. 9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 10. Free drinks, free dinners, free movies... you get the point. 11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. 12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. 13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. 14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. 15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. 16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. 17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt. 18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. 19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. 20. If we're dumb, some people still find it cute. 21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in. 22. We have the ability to dress ourselves. 23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. 24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot. 25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth. 26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. 27. We'll never regret piercing our ears. 28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. 29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark. 30.We can have men do what we want by mearly unbuttening our shirts. Try Not To Cry Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you" In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Please if you would, If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Now you have 2 choices, 1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as things that are weird: i haven't lost my marbles, their under my bed somewhere. if all things up, must come down, will we soon see aliens? its good to die for your contry, but its really good when the other bastard dies for their contry. since its rat poison, can i eat it? if you answer a question with a quesion, will you get change? i know whats right. Bob over there knows whats left. if i howl at the moon, will Saix answer me? i'll give you an arm for your leg. Don't drink and drive. You might spill your beer. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail. A great friend will be sitting next to you saying, 'Damn that was fun! Few women admit their age; fewer men act it. What's another word for synonym? War determines not who is right, but who is left. Don't take life too seriously -You'll never get out of it alive. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? A mighty oak is the restult of a a nut who held its ground. Despite the rising cost of living, it remains a popular activity. There's too much blood in my caffeine system. I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on disk somewhere... Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word? STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you. It's you and me against the world. (puts on helmet) We attack at dawn. Friends don't set friends on fire. Friends don't let friends drive drunk. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it. Keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and dark side, and holds the universe together. Why are wrong numbers never busy? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Doesn't 'expecting the unexpecting' make the unexpected expected? I do visit reality, althought it's only on a tourist visa. I used to have a handle on life; then it broke. Normality will be restored as soon as we're sure what it is. Smile. Tomorrow will be worse. Fail with honor rather than succeed by fraud. The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. You never know how strong you are...until being strong is the only choice you have. Me believes in ME! Give me chocolate and nobody gets hurt! I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it. You're jealous cuz the voices in my head talk to me and not you. In the end it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away. Live for the moments you can't put into words. No tresspasing, violaters will be shot and survivors will be shot again. It takes 47 muscles to frown, 17 to smile but it doesn't take any to sit there with a dumb look on your face. You just have to live your life not caring what they think and shake off the drama and prove to them that you're better than they think you are. If you always stop to smell the roses sooner or later you'll inhale a bee. If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk! The evening news always starts off by saying Good Evening and then procede to tell you exactly why it isn't. He who laughs last thinks the slowest. To be old and wise you must first have to be young and stupid. Take risks, if you win you will be happy; if you lose you will be wise. You are only limited by your own fears and inaction. There are 3 kinds of people, those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the heck is happening. Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about. Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon. People are boring, they are only amusing if you push them down a flight of stairs. When life gives you lemons make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it. I AM NOT CRAZY! My reality is just different than yours. My imaginary friend thinks you have mental problems. I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me, he said I was being ridiculous, everyone hasn't met me yet. Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window or break down a door. I used to have a life but, that was before video games! Don't look for inspiration. Start working and inspiration will come to you. I'm the author of my life, and unfortunately I'm writing in pen! Move on. It's just a chapter in the past. But don't close the book. Just turn the page. Everyday is a gift, that's why they call it The Present. When you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you'll never enjoy the sunshine. Many say I am just one to try. I say I am one less to quit. Believe in yourself and others will follow. When life gives you lemons squeeze them in somebody's eyes and RUN! If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete. When life gives you lemons, think of another 'when life gives you lemons' quote. Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than to look back. It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness. I shoot every third salesmen that comes to my house, the second just left. I shoot every third flamer that comes to my profile, the second just left. Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. I'm perfectly sane, it's the world that's crazy. My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and its gone. I used to have super powers, but my therapist took them away. Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills? Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me in kick boxing. The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. If at first you do succeed, try not to look to astonished. We live in an age where the pizza delivery will reach your house before the police. I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every-time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room? Sarcasm is one more service I offer. Compassion costs extra. Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive. I will temporarily rule the world, forever. Silence is golden, duck-tape is silver- Who ever said that anything was possible has obviously never tried to ski through a revolving door... He shouldn't let his mind wander, it's too little to go out on its own. He had a good idea once, but it died of loneliness. I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere. Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tommorow in Australia. Are you always in mortal danger, or just when I'm passing through? Vegetarian: Indian word for 'lousy hunter'. Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck. Love your enemies. It gets them really confused. You can't fall off the floor, but you can always pick yourself back up. Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough. If you mess with anything long enough, it'll break. Push something hard enough and it will fall. You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. There's no point in being grownup if you can't be childish sometimes! I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people. Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest. Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, Do what comes naturally now. Seethe and fume and throw a tantrum. Sleep: A completely inadequate substitute for caffeine. The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first If at first you don't succeed, destroy all the evidence that you tried. Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view. Smile every minute of the day. You never know who is falling in love with it. ONLY IN AMERICA... ...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance ...are there handicap parking spaces in front of ice-skating rinks ...sick people go to the back of Walgreens to get their medicine, while healthy people get their cigarettes at the front ...people buy hotdogs in packs of 10 and hotdog buns in packs of 8 ...the banks leave both vaults open and then chain the pens to the counter ...people order a double cheese burger, large fries, and a diet coke ...people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveways and keep their junk in garages ...is the word "politics" used to describe the process; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE AND CONTINUE THE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL SUCKS TRAIN! (did you REALLY think I was one of those friggin girls?) If you have been called insane more than once, copy and paste this into your profile "This ever insanity or brilliance." (it's amazing how those two always get mixed up on me!) If your one of the people who could perfectly understand Jack Sparrow's confusing rants and when your friends all had confounded expressions on their faces you were like, well duh that made perfect sense. Copy this into your profile. If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you copy and paste this onto your profile If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile If you think High School Musical is not a real musical, copy this into your profile. If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile! If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in the middle of a sentence, copy and paste this into your profile. If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile. THIS IS A STORY ABOUT GOD. READ IF YOU BELIEVE IN HIM, AND READ EVEN IF YOU DON'T. A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a line up to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it? Repost this if you truly believe in God. This game has a funny/spooky outcome. Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It's worth a try. First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct. Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it! 1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column. 2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want. 3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex. 4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots. 5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. (Go with your instincts!) 6. Finally, make a wish. And now the key for the game... 1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game. 2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love. 3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out. 4. You care most about the person you put in 4. 5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well. 6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star. 7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3. 8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7. 9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind. 10. 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life NOW...post this bulletin (don't reply) within the hour. IF you do, your wish will come true... If you don't it will become the opposite. (smash) mom: what was that? you: nothing... 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back."The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me." "I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' "OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message, or 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart Your One and Only Wish 1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex. 2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green, yellow? 3. Your first initial? 4. Your month of birth? 5. Which color do you like more, black or white? 6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours. 7. Your favorite number? 8. Do you like California or Florida more? 9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more? 10. Write down a wish (a realistic one). Are you done? If so, scroll down (Don’t cheat--) THE ANSWERS 1. You are completely in love with this person. 2. If you choose: Red: You are alert and your life is full of love. Black: You are conservative and aggressive. Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you Love. Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are Down. 3. If you’re initial is: A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to Blossom. S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good. 4. If you were born in: Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you Fall in love with someone totally unexpected. Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but The memories will last forever. July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life Changing experience for the good. Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your Soul mate. 5. If you choose... Black: Your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time But will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do Anything for you, but you may not realize it. 6. This person is your best friend. 7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime. 8. If you choose... 9. If you choose... 10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday! Quotes From me and My Friends:From Godddess of the Flock "CHEESECAKE DOWN!!!" - Evan "Can you just shut the freaking hell up? Kay, thanks." - Me (Yeah, I get annoyed a lot.) "Violence, Tawny, violence." - Elana and Hayley (They think Tawny's too vioent, Pssh) "I'm going to freaking break your neck if you don't shut up!" - Me ( more annoyance...mostly by Gloria.) "Jamie, when we are 21, we are SO getting Bakon Vodka." - Tawny (Dark.Silent.Wish I had wings) (Thanks DOALM!!!) "HOLY CRAP! Just kill it already!" - Tawny (There was a bug in band class...people were freaking out.) "Jamie, did you eat the llama?" - Ben (Don't. ask.) "YOU KILLED FREDERICK!" - Elana "It was an ant..." - Me (Yeah, I killed the bug in band who's name was apparently Frederick.) "Everybody's crazy in their own special way..." - Uma (soothing star) (So freaking true.) "Awkward moments make the world go round." - Me and Uma (Again, don't ask) "See, I think of sarcasm as a defense mechinism, not an attitude." - Me (Whenever my parents say that 'sarcasm is a bad attitude' or whatever) "Deal with it." - Tawny ('nuff said.) "DIE YOU MUSHROOM!!!! DIE!!!!" - Ben (He was playing a video game...) "You are a man girl, 50% girl 50% MAN!" - Gloria (I have no idea...) "Well, that was odd." - Justin (He says this after just about every awkward moment...which is a lot.) "Well, I lost this book, someone found it and brought back to the school library, they found out it actually didn't belong there, brought it to the Bryant Library, which is where I went and I got my book back." - Justin (Good story Justin.) I'll try to get more!!!! :D Hilarious Maximum Ride Quotes Fang: "Man, you way a freaking ton. What have you been eating, rocks?" Max: "Why? Is your head missing some?" Fang: "You... are... a... fridge... with... wings. We're... freaking... ballet... dancers." (Punching an Eraser with every word) Fang: "Boy, you just can't kill people like you used to." Iggy: "I'll grab a zebra; Gaz, you fill all the bubbles with your trademark scent. so people are choking and gagging; and let's throw beef jerky in their eyes! Now, that's a plan! Gazzy: "I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahs!" (in Terminator accent - imitating ter Borcht) (huge inside joke between me and my maximum ride peeps :P ) Dr. Martinez: "Fang? Are you - like Max?" Fang: "Nope. I'm the smart one." ter Borcht: "Is dere anysing special about you? Anysing vorth saving?" Fang: "Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica." Gazzy: "I want to do it too!" (sitting motionless) Nudge: "Nope, you stand out like a fart in a church." Iggy: "What about me?" (stands still) Max: "No, you're visible." Iggy: "Am not!" Max: (throws a pinecone at him) "Could I do that if I wouldn't see you?" Max: "Okay guys, I had a couple thoughts I wanted to go over with you." Iggy: (pretends to snore loudy) Max: (throws another pinecone at him) Iggy: "Quit throwing things at me!" Max: "Glad you could join us." Fang: "You looove me. (holds out arms) You love me this much." Dr. Martinez: "She's cooking" (Max is cooking, uh oh) Nudge: "Cooking...food?" (murmers of someone ordering a pizza) Max: "Fang! This is a huge break! Of course we should go check it out!" Fang: "But we're grounded." (Stare at each other for a second and burst out laughing) Fang: "I know everything, as I continue to remind you." Max: "Because all you mad, evil scientists sit around whipping up batches of Pillsbury's finest during your coffee breaks." Iggy: "Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony." Agent: "And how do you spell that?" Gazzy: "Captain, like the captain of a ship. And then Terror, you know, T-E-R-O-R." Agent: "You name's Captain Terror?" Gazzy: "That's right." Fang: "Yes! Freaks RULE!" Max: "Oh yeah, 'cause Fang is all about wordy sharing of feelings." Max: "Iggy, this is not a democracy, it's a Maxocrocy." Iggy: “Max? Can I come in?” Max: “No – I’m in a towel.” Iggy: “I’m blind.” Max: “No! You’re kidding! Are you sure?” Ter Borcht: “It is time to eliminate you. You haf failed all de tests. You are not useful.” Max: “No, but we’re dang cute.” Fang: "Have you guys been playing in toxic waste again?" Nudge: “No. I looked for you too. Were you behind the tree?” Fang: “I was right here!” Iggy: “I didn’t see you either, man.” Max: “Did you leave the flamethrowers lying around again?” Fang: “I always forget.” Max: "Will you quit that?" Fang: "Quit what? Breathing?" Dr. Martinez: "I take it you don't want me to call your parents?" Max: "Um, no." Hello, lab? May I speak to a test tube, please? Max: “Fang, Fang, Fang. I love you. I love you sooo much.” Fang: “Oh, jeez.” (This is when Max was all hyped up on Valium) Ter Borcht: “Vhat ozzer abilities do you haf?” Gazzy: “I have x-ray vision.” (looks at ter Borcht’s chest and then looks appalled) Max: "I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motor mouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer." Max: "We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?" Fang: "She offered to cook breakfast." Iggy: "I feel like pudding. Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in pain." Max: "Mad crazy, not mad angry, though a lot of them do seem to have anger managment issues, espeically around me" Max: "So there you have it, the extent of my charms: brown hair and eyes like unbarfed chocolate. I'm a lucky girl." Max: "Those wacky Brits called fries 'chips'. And potato chips were 'crisps'. And cookies were 'biscuits'. I had no idea what real biscuits were called. Wangdoodles?" Iggy: "About my mixer..." Gazzy: "It was all I could find!" Max: "You mixed someone to death?" Gazzy: "I adapted to the circumstances!" Fang: "Rawr!" Twilight All the rain from yesterday had frozen sold - coating the needles in the trees in fantastic, gorgeous patterns, and making the driveway a deadly ice slick. I had enough trouble not falling down when the ground was dry; it might be safer for me to go back to bed now. (Bella) With chagrin, I realized the probable cause - no one else was as aware of Edward as I always was. How pitiful. (Bella) "That's cool. We still have prom." (Tyler) "I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly." (Edward) "Bella. Can you hear me?" "No. Go away." (Edward and Bella) "You scared me for a minute there. I thought Newton was dragging your dead body off to bury it in the woods." "Ha ha." "Honestly - I've seen corpses with better color. I was concerned that I might have to avenge your murder." (Edward and Bella) "You are a magnet for trouble. If there is anything dangerous within a ten-mile radius, it will invariably find you." (Edward) "He drives like a maniac. It was terrifying." (Bella) "You're doing it again." "What?" "Dazzling me." (Bella and Edward) "Are you referring to the fact that you can't walk across a flat, stable surface without finding something to trip over?" (Edward) "Nothing more fun than an irritated grizzly bear." (Bella) "He looks at you like...like you're something to eat." (Mike) "What am I going to do with you? Yesterday I kiss you, and you attack me! Today you pass out on me!" (Edward) "Is this Edwin your boyfriend?" (Charlie) "Afraid of a needle. Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand..." (Edward) The Copy and Paste Section Everybody Loves and Hates at The Same Time! If you think Fang, from Maximum Ride, is the hottest dude you've never seen copy this into your profile. If you are madly in love with a fictional character copy this onto your profile! If I say Fang and you scream "Where?!" copy this onto your profile If you've ever screamed at a book or the TV copy this! If you agree that Fang is 98% human, 2% bird, and 100% HOT, copy and paste this to your profile. If you laughed out loud while reading Maximum Ride, copy this onto your profile. If you think Max and Fang should just get over themselves and get together already, copy this onto your profile. If you're obsessed with Max Ride to the point where it's not even funny anymore, copy this onto your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. If your friend(s) think(s) you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids -and their talking dog- and you don’t care copy and paste this on your profile. If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile! If you're absoloutely, uncrontollably in love with Fang, copy this into your profile If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile. If you have/ wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile. If you totally believe that there shouuld be more FAXNESS in MR copy and paste this onto your profile If you've ever wanted to go into a book and slap/ scream at a character copy and paste this onto your profile If you are like Max, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you still laugh re-reading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile. If Faxness is one of your obsessions, post this in your profile. Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex. If you wish The Flock were real, copy and paste this to your profile. If you REALLY want Fang to be real and meet him, copy and past this to your profile. If you'll take first watch copy and paste this is you profile (if you don't get it READ MAXIMUM RIDE!) If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile. If your view on Maximum Ride is that there are much worse things you could be addicted to, copy and paste this into your profile . If you get excited everytime there is FAXNESS, copy this onto your profile. If you agree that Fang is Fangalicious, copy this into your profile. If someone has ever asked you what Maximum Ride is about, and they give you a look that says, do-I-really-hang-out with you? copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you weird, copy and paste this on your profile. If your type is tall, dark, winged and handsome copy and paste this onto your profile. If you love Fang from Maximum Ride and drool over him, even though you have never even seen him, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have dreams where you are kidnapped to become a member of the Flock, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're going to go to a bar to get Bakon vodka once you're 21, copy and paste this into your profile. (Thanks Phoenix Fanatic!) MAXIMUM RIDE FAN QUESTIONS: 1. Do you think Iggy is hot? Ummm...Maybe? 2. Did you cry when Ari died? Um no...OK! A little bit 3. Do you think Fang is hot? He's Fangalicious! 4. How do you pronounce Ari's name? Ary y'now like airy 5. Do you laugh every time you read the name Mr. Chu? A little bit 6. -SPOILER ALERT- In MAX, did you laugh hysterically when Total started talking about marriage? Yes 7. -SPOILER ALERT- Did you squeal at all the faxness in MAX? YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -sigh- I'm a pathetic girl i squeal at everything 8. Did you angrily throw your book across the room when the flock split up? yes 9. Who is your favorite character? Max she's so funny with a sassy attitude 10. Do you like Jeb? NO HE BETRAYED THE FLOCK! 11. -SPOILER ALERT- Were you making a genuine "WTF" face when Max and Fang grew gills? Yes. Yes, in fact, I was. 12. Did you think MAX was better than TFW? Than what? 13. -SPOILER ALERT- Did you get slightly fed up with Nudge and Angel's slight attitudes in MAX? Yes! 14. Which book is your all time favorite? The third one School's Out-Forever 15. If the flock had a theme song, what would it be? I Believe I can Fly! 16. Have you ever imagined the flock as a band playing whatever song comes up when listening to your iPod? Ummm...no 17. Who do you think the voice should be? A Rainbow Pony! 18. Do you think one or more members of the flock should learn to play an instrument? No 19. What bugged you the most about TFW? Again I am not good with initials! 20. MIGGY or FAX? FAX! DUH! Things that annoy me to no end: 1) Misspelled and uncapitalized titles- I will not click on a story with spelling and capitalization errors in the title unless I'm really bored. 2) People who demand a certain number of reviews- Some of my favorite stories are written by people who want a certain number of reviews before he/she updates, but most of the time, it just sounds really pretentious. 3) "I really suck at summaries"- Too bad, I don't give a damn. I usually never click on a story that has that phrase or any variation of it in the summary. 4) "Please read, lots of Fax!"- I freaking love Fax, but if that sentence is the only thing in your summary, I won't click on it. I'm sick of pointless Fax stories (unless it's a oneshot) 5) Extremely obvious self-inserts- If you're going to put yourself in a story, make sure it actually contributes to the plot somehow. 6) Random plotholes- Okay, since FANG, I have decided not to tolerate this anymore. If your story has a bunch of plotholes, I will not be nice in my review. 7) Angry replies whenever I flame or give ConCrit to a story (especially if it's written in bad grammar)- If I criticize you on your spelling, do NOT prove me right when you reply. When I give ConCrit, it's for the story's own good. Any angry replies will only make me mad and might make start writing really harsh reviews. Whenever I give ConCrit, I try to point out the good things in your story, too, so I'll try to be nice unless I'm flaming. 8) People who say that reviews are supposed to be nice- No. Reviews are supposed to give someone's opinion on a story. You will never learn if everyone is nice when they review. If you can't take the criticism, you shouldn't expect ANY reviews at all. 1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4. He chuckled once and his cool breath tickled my overheated skin.-Breaking Dawn by Stephanie Meyer 2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch? Air… 3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? Ok, don't laugh at me...Bratz Fashion Pixies 4. Without looking, guess what time it is 12:00 5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 11:55, not too bad 6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? My Twilight CD 7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? Going on a walk outside last night 8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at? dishes and dish water 9. What are you wearing? an old navy maroon tee and blue jeans 10. Did you dream last night? yes it was weird i know that much 11. When did you last laugh? last night 12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? a calendar pictures... 13. Seen anything weird lately? probably i just don't remember oh! now i do! my face! 14. What do you think of this quiz its weird and funny (like me!) 15. What is the last film you saw? Bratz Fashion Pixies 16.If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? BOOKS!CDS!MOVIES! 17. Tell me something about you that I don't know: Whenever my brother says "What do you want?!" I say "A rainbow pony"! 18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? Make the maximum ride and twilight characters real 19. George Bush: HE WAS THE FIRST PRESIDENT! 20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? Carrina 21. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? Stanley 22. Would you ever consider living abroad? Not really YOUR GIRL SIDE: XYou wear lip gloss/chap stick- I’m girly sometimes XYou wear eyeliner- YES X You wear the color pink- SOMETIMES You hate wearing the color black- why would I hate that color? It’s not my fave, but it’s better than pink… XYou like wearing jewelry. –yeah… I do… Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe –you know what a big part of my wardrobe is? JEANS AND T-SHIRTS You don't like the movie Star Wars- don’t hate it, don’t love it XYou smile a lot more than you should. - YES XYou care about what you look like- yeah XYou love the movies. - duh Like Being the star of everything- no TOTAL:17 WOW YOUR GUY SIDE: XYou love hoodies. –LOVE EM XIt's hilarious when people get hurt. –haha, I laugh when people get hurt. I laugh when I get hurt too XSad movies stink. – I start SHOUTING AT THE TV Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid. –NO You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.- nope You watch sports on TV.- no. I’m not a sports fan You go to your dad for advice.– no DAD for advice XGreen, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.-ALL OF THEM! XYou love to go crazy and not care what people think. – people who care about going crazy are a bunch of idiots MR! TOTAL: 11 GIRLS RULE! out of 10 teenage girls suffer from peer pressure, verbal and/or physical abuse, and stereotyping. If you believe in the power of women and girls like us, and if you believe we can overcome this issue together hand in hand, post this onto your profile and add your name to the list: ColorTheSky, CrazyNerdyFangirl 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In". 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds". 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy". 8. Don't use any punctuation. 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go". 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!" 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: Send This In An E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile! You know you're a writer... -If you talk to yourself. stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial a I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogens they I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get I think I am turning gay because when I go to parties, I don't look at I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account, a sick girl that I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I wrote expecting the 150,000 But I am positive that all this is the cause of a stinking chain that I () () Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies) When Obama tells his children to clean their rooms, he ends with, "I'm Barack Obama and I approve this message!" An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is Carlisle, screw the fruit! I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy! I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse. When life gives you lemons throw them back and demand chocolate. Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not. Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can! Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it... Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up. They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. "God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns "Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown “When there's a will, I want to be in it.” – Unknown Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey. A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. "We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do." Shit fire and save matches (ha ha!!) Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder. My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen. Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally. If two wrongs dont make a right, try three. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant. Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. XO.XO.Xo.OX.O.XoX.oX.Ox.Xo.OX.xo.xox.OX.x.OX.ox.x.xox.Ox.o..OOXO...XOX.XO.o.O.xox.Ox.O.xOx.ox.xox.xox.O.X.O.XOOX. Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART, Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG, Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY, Calling me POOR won't make you RICH, Calling me FAT wont make you PERFECT, Calling me UNCOOL wont make you COOL, So why bother? In Honor of Stupid People In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: 1. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. 2. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. 3. On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." 4. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." 5. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." 6. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." 7. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." 8. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." 9. On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." 10. On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." 11. On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." 12. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." 13. On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." 14. On a Korean kitchen knife-- "Warning: keep out of children." 15. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity. Twilight Oath I promise to remember Bella GIRL COMEBACKS!! Boy Girl"Where have you been all my life?" "Running away from you." "Are you an angel from heaven?" "No, I'm a vampire from hell." "Your place or mine?" "Both, you go to yours, I go to mine." "Your feisty, I like that." "Your smelly, go away." "My dad owns the Café. I could get us really good seats." "My dad runs that hospital, and that's where you'll be if you keep hitting on me." "I have magic fingers. And they love to give massages." "I have a high kick. And they love to land on..." My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that. Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars. To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me? It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it? Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner! Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional... If two wrongs don't make a right, try three I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun. We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls are good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes I just read this little story and was so touched by it I just had to put it on here if you are reading this then i hope that you never have to go through something like this personally. I feel really bad for the couple and i don't mean to upset any body by this, i just find it a really moving story. If there is one thing you read on my profile then please let it be this. A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle Girl: Slow down, I'm scared! Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gives him a big hug Guy:Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love. There are people in Africa that can't afford sarcasm, and yet, you abuse it. Being mature is overrated. Being weird is like being normal, only better. I see regular people! I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me. Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright. Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full. Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over. When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back. One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear. It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people. I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up. Silence is golden, duct tape is silver Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God! When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it. If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth I've got A.D.D and magic markers, oh the thrills I will have! ( I don't really have ADD ) Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why. Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history. Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL! ONE FUNNY QUOTE! DO YOU WANNA HEAR IT? ARE YOU SURE? OK THEN! HERE IT IS! "We are NOT watching that friggin dude in blue!"-from one of my friends (someone suggested watching Avatar) UNKNOWN when life gives you lemons, shut up and eat your damn lemons! for every winner there are dozens of losers. odds are you're one of them. you were meant for me. perhaps as a punishment. when they write 'unknown' after a quote, it's probably only because they don't know how to spell 'anonymous.' never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. if a person with multiple personalities holds a gun to his head, can it be considered a hostage situation? the person who said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. don't worry about the world ending today. it's already tomorrow in australia. whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have an s in it? What a Boyfriend SHOULD do: When she walks away from you mad, follow her When she stare's at your mouth, Kiss her When she pushes you or hit's you, Grab her and dont let go When she start's cussing at you, Kiss her and tell her you love her When she's quiet, Ask her what's wrong When she ignore's you, Give her your attention When she pull's away, Pull her back When you see her at her worst, Tell her she's beautiful When you see her start crying, Just hold her and dont say a word When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind When she's scared, Protect her When she lay's her head on your shoulder, Tilt her head up and kiss her When she steal's your favorite hat, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night When she tease's you, Tease her back and make her laugh When she doesnt answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay When she look's at you with doubt, Back yourself up When she say's that she like's you, she really does more than you could understand When she grab's at your hands, Hold her's and play with her fingers When she bump's into you, bump into her back and make her laugh When she tell's you a secret, keep it safe and untold When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does When she misses you, she's hurting inside When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything. When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her Call her before you sleep and after you wake up Treat her like she's all that matters to you. Tease her and let her tease you back Stay up all night with her when she's sick Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid Give her the world Let her wear your clothes When she's bored and sad, hang out with her Let her know she's important Kiss her in the pouring rain When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will : Guys post as: "i'd be this boyfriend." Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat. Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead, who keeps your picture in his wallet, who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants, who holds your hand in front of all his freinds, who thinks your beautiful without makeup, one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you, THE one who turns to his friends and says THAT’S HER! 1. There are at least two people in this world That you would die for. 2. At least 15 people in this world Love you in some way. 3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you Is because they want to be just like you. 4. a smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, Even if they don't like you. 5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you Before they go to sleep. 6. You mean the world to someone. 7. You are special and unique. 8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you. 9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, Something good comes from it. 10 When you think the world has turned its back on you Take another look. 11 Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you draw Edward's face and hot bod all over your Advanced Placement United States History notes when you should be concentrating on the APUSH final the next day.Crazy is when you run into a pole and say as your excuse you were daydreaming about your fictionl boyfriend Edward. Crazy is screaming everytime you hear the name Edward because you think Jacob is 10 times better. HAHA! -laughs at Edward fangirls- --That's Crazy, too. Crazy is when you're not paying attention when the teacher is rambling and you think of something funny from the other day that you don't realize is funny til that moment and you burst into hysterical laughter and the entire class turns around and stares at you and you look the other way and pretend you don't notice. Crazy is when you star in your own movie and pretend to be an assassin... multiple times. Crazy is when you sometimes cheer for the bad guys, cause you feel sorry they never win. Crazy is when you hold a pool noodle above your head, sway it back and forth, yell 'mutant carrots' at the top of your lungs, and jump into the lake, not caring who is watching. Crazy is when you think Iggy is awesomer than Fang. Crazy is the state of mind sensible teens are in. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list! I'm only half evil. The other half is insane. I'm such a genious. (Only good spellers will get the joke) If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, put this in your profile. If there are characters on a certain show (no need to mention names) that you HATE BEYOND ALL REASON... copy and paste this into your profile. If at first you don't succeed, DON'T try skydiving. A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago: Do not activate with wet hands. On a king size mattress: Warning, do not attempt to swallow. An answering machine:"Hi, we aren't in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you've finished." Another answering machine:"Hello? ...Hello? ...Hellooo? I'm sorry, you're gonna have to speak My favourite answering machine: Can’t take your call, I'm hiding from the men in white coats. We've been playing hide'n'seek for weeks, and they still haven't found me! Tee Hee Hee! Leave a message Yet another answering machine: Hello, I'm not here right now. In fact, I'm out getting a new parakeet. If you leave a message after the beep, I'll be sure to get back to you. Oh, and by the way, a word of advice; never try to clean a parakeet cage with a vacuum cleaner. Famous last words: No, these windows are fine to lean on. I can pass this guy Don't worry, the airbags work fine So, you're a murderer. Who's your next victim? This bomb was supposed to explode when I pushed the butto- BOOM! Which wire was I supposed to cut? I wonder where the mother bear is. I've seen this done on TV. These are the good kind of mushrooms. . This doesn't taste right. I can make this light before it changes I believe I can fly! Why won't the gun fire? Said while looking down the barrel and repeatedly pushing trigger One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent. Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?'). "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her. "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading." "Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know, you could start at any moment." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the Game Warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment," she replied. "Have a nice day ma'am," and he left. 10 Commandments of a Teenager 1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If 2 gooses are geese, then why aren't moose meese, or when 2 foots are feet, why aren't 2 footballs feetballs? Milk tastes funny if you leave it out for too long. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If your random and proud of it, put this on your profile! If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you were going to say it, put this on your profile. If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes or more, place this on your profile. If you have ever tried to lick your elbow even though you knew it was physically impossible paste this on your profile. If you and/or your best friend are insane, put this on your profile i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile. Wowlookatthisimtypingthisveryoddlinebreakifyoucanreaditcopyandpasteyousmartperson !eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile. I hate pop-ups. If you hate all the ads popping up while you're trying to read some story, copy this into your profile. ╔══╦══╦══╗ You have been Pinned Don't Like My "Twilight" Obsession? Which book in the series is your favorite? How long did it take you to read the books? I don't know...I keep reading them over and over again! Who introduced you to the books? My cousin Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift? Bought Are you most looking forward to: Breaking Dawn, Midnight Sun, or the movie? What's your dream ending to the series? Jacob and Nessie have kids:) Favorites: Who's your favorite vampire? Who is your favorite werewolf? What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories? "You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness Monster?!"Bella from Breaking DAwn What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment? What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment? How about your favorite Bella and Alice moment? When Alice is trying to get Bella to do her wedding What was your favorite adventure/battle? Love all of them Which book cover was your favorite? Are these books among your favorite books of all? This or That? Twilight or New Moon? New Moon or Eclipse? Eclipse or Twilight? Are you more excited about Breaking Dawn or Midnight Sun? Midnight Sun or the Twilight Movie? Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob? EDWARD!!!! Who do you like more: Bella or Edward? Bella or Jacob? Bella or Alice? Alice or Jacob? Rosalie or Alice? Jasper or Alice? Both Jasper or Edward? Carlisle or Esme? Emmett or Jasper? Emmett or Jacob? Both Bella or Rosalie? Esme or Charlie? Charlie or Carlisle? Charlie or Billy? Jacob or Sam? Jacob Sam or Quil? Quil or Embry? Who's the better villain: James or Victoria? Victoria Werewolves or Vampires? A True Boyfriend = When she walks away from you mad When she stare's at your mouth When she pushes you or hit's you When she start's cussing at you When she's quiet When she ignore's you When she pull's away When you see her at her worst When you see her start crying When you see her walking When she's scared When she lay's her head on your shoulder When she steal's your favorite hat When she tease's you When she doesnt answer for a long time When she look's at you with doubt When she say's that she like's you When she grab's at your hands When she bump's into you When she tell's you a secret When she looks at you in your eyes When she misses you When you break her heart When she says its over When she repost this bulletin Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go- When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.- Tease her and let her tease you back.- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.- Give her the world.- Let her wear your clothes.- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.- Let her know she's important.- Kiss her in the pouring rain.- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will : 101 things to do at WalMart 1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in. 5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some tampons!!" 6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department. 7. Try on bras over top of your clothes. 8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms. 9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "Sex and candy". 10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code Red in Housewares," and see what happens. 11. Tune all the radios to a polka station, turn them all off and turn up all the volumes to the max. 12. Play with the automatic doors. 13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment. 14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?" 15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department. 16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually. 17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins. 18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field. 19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!" 20. Put M&M's on layaway. 21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. 22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath. 23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners. 24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics. 25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!" 26. TP as much of the store as possible. 27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles. 28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hell" upside down. 29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?" 30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!" 31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose. 32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men. 33. Take bets on the battle described above. 34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!) 35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible. 36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room. 37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible." 38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags. 40. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags. 41. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them. 42. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store. 43. Two words: "Marco Polo." 44. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc. 45. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics. 46. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels. 47. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them 48. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions. 49. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!" 50. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out. 51. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it. 52. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie." 53. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles. 54. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,quickly make off with it without saying a word. 55. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department. 56. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 57. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles. 58. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle)." 59. Hold indoor shopping cart races. 60. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. 61. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles. 62. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out. 63. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. 64. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time. 65. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?" 66. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?" 67. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive." 68. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. 69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it. 70. Get an empty book, and say it's a guest book. Get people to sign. 71. Play a game of indoor freeze tag 72. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window "the British are coming" 73. Have a team race with your friends- one person sits in the cart, the other pushes 74. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices 75. Fill your cart up as much as possible, and then try to use the express lane 76. Use a bullhorn and occasionally say that there is free candy in aisle X (aisle X being the condom aisle) 77. Run into a pyramid of cans, heroically saying "I'm gonna save us from that bomb!" 78. Use a conveyer belt as a treadmill and lose some weight 79. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over. 80. When people aren't looking, put tampons in their carts if they are a guy, or if they are a gal, put in a jock strap. 81. Randomly direct people to the deodorant section 82. Tell someone that you will sue for false advertising, since they do not sell walls. 83. Take your boyfriend or girlfriend to the food section and have an expensive dinner. 84. Try to push your cart through a checkout without paying. When the clerk tries to stop you, kick in his balls (dont try it on a chick, it wont work), run, but leave the cart. See what happens. 85. If people arent looking at their cart, steal it. 86. Go to the gun section, saying "Can I buy a gun? I'm tired of that stupid smily face!" 87. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use wite-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund. 88. See how much stuff you can break before you get caught 89. Take a leak in the dressing rooms. 90. Repeadeately say "The clowns are not eating me." 91. Use fake checks, but sign them using your neighbors name. 92. Rearrange items as you see fit. 93. Take a full set of guy's clothes and a full set of gal's clothes, then leave them lying somewhere. 94. Put pokemon stuff in a cart that is full of stuff like KoRn and Limp Bizkit CDs. 95. Grab condoms and stick them in everyone's face (only the opposite sex). 96. Do #95 but with the same sex (not recomended). 97. Grab stickers that say "radioactive" and put them randomly on food items. 98. Follow someone until they notice. 99. Pull out pins, like that guy form the 7up commercial. 100. Sing 'Girlfriend' very loudly, particularly in front of old people. Emphasise all swear words and watch the looks on their faces. 101. Loiter. When asked to leave, tell them you live here. Take Time To Read Each Sentence This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is retard cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat Now read the THIRD word of every line :) Ten things to see before you die 1. A vegetarian be eaten by an animal. 2. An emo kid talk about happy bunnies. 3. Homer say something intelligent. 4. Taxes disappear. 5. Voldemort destroy one of his Horcruxes. 6. Michael Jackson be stalked by children. 7. Children take over class and teach teacher in child subjects, such as: armpit farts, skate-boarding, real music, ect. 8. Wrestling people forget their moves. 9. The coyote catch the road runner. 10. The reaction of the teen population if abercombie was closed and it was illegal to wear their clothing. Stupid test: 18 or lower means you’re not stupid. x Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking. x You have ran into a tree. total so far=10 Y ou have accidentally caught something on fire total so far=14 xSometimes you just stop thinking total so far= 18 You have eaten a bug. total so far= 18 xYou sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t even when you know it won’t happen to you. total so far= 22 total= 22 This has got to be one of the most clever PRESBYTERIAN: ASTRONOMER: DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: THE EYES: GEORGE BUSH: THE MORSE CODE : SLOT MACHINES: ANIMOSITY: ELECTION - RESULTS: SNOOZE ALARMS: A DECIMAL POINT: THE EARTHQUAKES: ELEVEN PLUS TWO: Complete the sentence. Vampires are awsome. I will do stuff I will never become a rainbow pony -sigh- A werewolf can be hot 24/7 Pie is great for throwing in people's faces Some things are like rainbow ponies that poop butterflies One mans trash is full of lemons You should never take away Twilight from me (I can get very fierce). Always try to do the hula. Cats may snuggle. Dogs are barkaholics. Eventually summer is gonna turn into a lousy school year:( The end of the world will be when rainbow ponies eat everyone. 182 Things You Can Do At the Theaters Before or During Twilight!! 1. Bring a cardboard cut-out of Robert with you. Say he's your "date". 2. Go with several friends. Wear black robes and look sinister. Claim to be the Volturi. 3. Separate the theater crowd. Team Edward on one side, Team Jacob on the other side, and Team Switzerland in the middle. It can easily be done if you somehow manage to find a big scary dude to get the crowd to cooperate. 4. Go around the theater and ask everyone questions from the books to see whether they've read them. 5. Wear plastic fangs. Offer plastic fangs to strangers in the audience. 6. Throw popcorn at your enemy side from 3. 7. Shout random spoilers during the movie. 8. Bring a relatively large dog to the theater and say, "It's Jacob" 9. Wait by the door, and when people try to walk in, shove them out and yell, "I will not share!!" 10. Paint yourself in glitter and bring a torch. When the meadow scene comes on, shine it on you and start shouting 'I'M A VAMPIRE I AM I AM! 11. Sing the 'I am a Vampire' song from Juno when Edward comes on/says he's a vampire. 12. Wear a Robert's Mafia badge. 13. Find the particularly immature fans who are obnoxiously sure of their couples (you know the ones. Those little 12-year-old fans who pitch a fit if you aren't a hardcore Bella/Edward fan) and sit beside them. Loudly voice your opinions on the couple that rivals theirs. I.e., "Jacob is most definitely the more reasonable choice for Bella. Edward is just dangerous." Or "Jacob will imprint on someone and leave Bella. Anyone who thinks they truly have a chance together needs to get their heads out of the clouds." 14. Get into heated debates with random people on Edward's sexuality. 15. Shout out "Who's an IMDB Twilighter" in the theater and see how many people yell back. 16. If your blonde, or have short spikey hair, go really pale and whisper to the person next to you, "I'm so proud of my brother, its his first movie y'know!" 17. Bring two podiums and have a random Edward fan and a random Jacob fan debate over the two. Hey, at least it's entertaining! 18. Look at someone as if you're going to eat him or her. Start licking your lips and smile evilly. 19. Wear your fangs and drink cranberry juice out of clear bottles. 20. Play charades and make people guess what book/part they're acting out. 21. Go up to the food serving bit and ask for human blood. If they refuse, reply with "Oh fine, I'll have animal". 22. Wear dark black contacts and eye-shadow circles under your eyes. Then stare at people in the theater. 23. Walk up to someone smell him or her and then say, "No offense... But you smell like a DOG!" 24. Walk up to a stranger and tell you that you have imprinted on them and that they now belong to you, then sit by them the whole time! 25. Turn to the person next to you and say, "I cant believe she got bit in the end" only gonna work if the person is a newbie to the series. 26. Laugh at random moments in the movie especially sad ones Exp: movie- "Bella, James is a tracker and he's coming to kill you" You and friends- 'MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA ohhhhh that was good' 27. Go to the bathroom. 28. Scream, "DOG!" whenever Jacob appears onscreen. 29. Scream, "BLOODSUCKER!" when Edward admits he's a vampire . 30. Scream, "Yes! Edward's gonna score!" he and Bella kiss. 31. Where gold eye contacts and say you're Edward's long lost cousin. 32. Use your dog as a space heater when camping outside the theater the night before the movie releases. (Hey, in December, it's gonna be COLD. Lol Unless, you live in like, Jamaica, or something... ) 33. If BD turns out to not have Bella and Edward together, scream LIARRRRR at Edward when he tells Bella he loves her. 34. Go see the movie, at least weekly, until it comes out on DVD, then do the same thing on said list while waiting for the DVD release at Wal-Mart, and what not. 35. Read the books while waiting for the movie to come out in theaters. 36. Everytime you see Bella and know she's gonna be in danger yell "DANGER 37. At random moments lean over to the stranger next to you, and in a very Jasper like voice, say something like "I feel what you are feeling and you're wrong." Hahaha 38. Instead of bring popcorn to eat, bring apples. 39. Randomly ask people to bite you. 40. During any Jacob/Bella moments (or anything that resembles a Jacob/Bella moment), either howl, "Arooo!" and pant like a dog, or say loudly, "Looks like SOMEONE needs to get FIXED. 41. Take your little sister along. Lay in front of her and start screaming and twitching in agony. Laugh and stand up, unharmed, when people who haven't been introduced to Jane freak out and try to help. 42. Before Edward smells Bella in class for the first time like in the Caf scene when he keeps looking at her trying to read her mind, pull an Aro move, say something like "That IS interesting! " 43. As soon as Rob appears on screen, scream "I LOVE YOU ROB! HAVE MY BABIES!". Be prepared for some strange looks. 44. Wait until Edward and Bella are having their quite moment in the meadow and then scream loudly "HE'S GOING TO BITE HER!!" 45. Ask a random person if they thirst for your blood. 46. Tell a random person you thirst for their blood. 47. This only works if you are a girl, but when you see Bella for the first time, scream loudly "I LOVE YOU BELLA YOU ARE SO HOTTT!!" vice-versa for Edward if you are a guy. 48. When Edward says, "So the lion fell in love with the lamb," scream ROAR!!" and "BAAAAAAH!" 49. Use Twilight pickup-lines on strangers in the audience. "I'm a vampire, wanna see me sparkle?" "Are you ridiculously hot, or is that just the werewolf in you?" "I'm Bella. You're Edward. My virtue means nothing." 50. Before the movie begins, say loudly, "Okay, just so we're clear, no one cuts themselves right?" (if that offends anyone, sorry) 51. Go up to a random blonde chick and say "Edward prefers BRUNETTES!" 52. Seperate the theater into T~O's and general movie-goers. Then have a trivia-off between the two sides and be overly obnoxious with your correct answers. 53. Act out scenes from the trailers with a group a friends, being overly dramatic for everything. 54. Yell out "spoilers" that are completely untrue. 55. Dress up as Dr. Phil and make snide comments about Bella and Edward's beep up relationship, no matter how amazing it is. 56. Ask loudly during a very solemn part of the movie, "D'you think Edward prefers boxers or briefs?" Have a setup for this question, and have two friends sit somewhere else in the theater, and get into a loud argument over this. 57. Have one of your friends sit somewhere in the theater away from you reading Dracula or an Anne Rice book. While waiting for the film go over to them (like she's a stranger) and scream "THEY DON'T EVEN SPARKLE!! !!" 58. Right after the "Twilight" line, start singing the sunrise, sunset song from Fiddler on the roof. 59. As soon as bella goes off to the dance studio and james is talking to her ... yell "SHES GONNA DIE!" and throw popcorn / sour patch kids at the screen. 60. As soon as Taylor Lautner (sp?) comes on the screen yell "SHARKBOY!!" (sorry... just had to say it ) 61. Go dressed up like a character from Harry Potter, and when the movie starts, look confused and leave. 62. Start yelling out loud in the middle of class, "I know it's dangerous, Edward! Get out of my head!" 63. When waiting in line for the movie, tell the person next to you the entire plot of the movie (using the same character names, but a different movie plot, ex. "So Bella's parents die fighting off the Volturi. And Bella s left with a crescent scar on her hand... everyone knows her name and she doesn't know why, until a large scary guy tells her the real story of her parents death...") 64. When Bella starts pretend-flirting on the beach with Jacob, yell "BELLA, YOU ARE MAKING THE WORST DECISION OF YOUR LIFE!!" 65. Go to the movie, dress up all fancy and antique-looking and when the movie starts, tell everyone around you casually and proud "That's my boyfriend up there" and point to the screen as they show Edward. 66. Wear a dark robe and grab someone's hand. Laugh in a very Aro-esque fashion and say, "I know your secrets." 67. Scream and giggle madly whenever two characters interact, as though they're your favorite couple. "OH MY CARLISLE, Mike and Edward are glaring at each other! So cute!" "Eee! Jasper is calming Bella down! This is so romantic!" 68. Go up to the guy at the snack stand and say: "If I could dream at all it would be about you." Or something similar. This works really well if he is gangly and has horrible acne. 69. Go up to some random person at the theater and say, "You're exactly my brand of heroin." 70. Use vampire teeth and start getting near the throat of the person seating next to you. When they look weird at you just tell them that you are sorry and do it again 5 minutes later. 71. Buy a hot dog and bite a part with ketchup and with your vampire teeth full of it smile darkly at the person sitting next to you 72. When the person next to you is not watching grab 2 straws and put them on your teeth and said "LOOK I HAVE VAMPIRE TEETH!! 73. Put on a dark cloak in the middle of the movie and start walking around the theatre. 74. Walk around before the movie starts and sit down beside random people and start loudly talking about Stephenie Meyer's conspiracy theories against Harry Potter. Do it all while wearing a Gryffindor robe. Then start bashing J.K. Rowling. Watch them get confused. 75. When Esme first comes on, yell VERY loudly, "I thought her name was Ava!" (only for Grey's Anatomy fans) 76. Every time Jacob or one of his Quiluete (sp) friends comes on, yell, "WEREWOLF" loudly. 77. Upon entering the movie theaters, immediately break into a run and start towards the theater Twilight is showing in full-speed. While running, hysterically scream, "EDWARD! EDWARD!" 78. Proudly wear your "Team Edward" t-shirt. 79. Every time Bella falls down or makes a fool of herself, take a drink of soda. 80. Once the movie has started, turn to your neighbor and ask: "Huh? This is a movie about vampires? I thought it was a documentary film about the advancement of street light technology in the 21st century. Crap. I want my 7 bucks back." 81. Bring a waterbottle filled with red kool aid and label it with an animal that lives in the area. i.e. "Alligator" or "Squirrel". 82. Lean over to the stranger next to you and say, "You smell edible!" 83. Tell the person next to you when you see Victoria "It's a shame that it's the girl that's gonna kill Bella, huh?" 84. When they come back from the tide pools and the Quileute boys are at the beach with Bella seeing them for the first time start singing "Who let the dogs out?" or shout loudly "Alright, who invited the werewolves?" 85. When Jacob comes on the screen and bella is flirting with him go into a hystarical fit, rolling around the floor screaming and crying...then have to be dragged out by the movie ushers screaming "I love you edward!! wait for me!!" 86. Hire a huge bodyguard and tell everyone he is your rented Volturi guard for the night and anyone who has never read the books or is not an imdb Twilighter can "GET OUT THIS IS A PRIVATE VIEWING FOR PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY CARE!!" Then start chanting. 87.Make sure you sit next to a first timer, someone who has never read the books and blurt everything out right before it happens. i.e.:"OOOO.. .he is gonna kill her!!" or "man that relationship will NEVER work!!" Then when they get tired of it and say something to you like, "Excuse me, but i have never read these books and you are ruining this experience for me. I have a right to wait and see what happens and I don't think you should do this just because you read the book!" then when they turn around, start sneezing violently. When they turn to look at you again say "Sorry, but I'm allergic to bull!" 88. Sit behind a bald guy and try to hit the center of his head with your popcorn. Every time he turns around turn around and look at the 12 year olds behind you and be like "Hey that's rude." Then call the movie ushers and have them removed. 89. When the scene with Edward playing the piano for Bella, say: "What?! I thought he played the xylophone!" 90. Wear a red-brown shaggy dog-suit to the theater and only act like a dog. Change back into a human later on making it look like you are 'morphing-back to normal, only wearing a pair of sweatpants and bare chest (for guys haha) 91. When buying food at the concession, yell: " Edward doesn't eat...so I wont either!!" 92. Throw a baseball back and forth with a friend and run really fast to catch it. 93. Leave the theater at all the really important parts, then come back in and ask, "Did he bite her yet?" or, "Is she dead yet?" and then scream "What kind of world is this when a girl with a small bladder can't get the whole movie experience!" when people ask you to shush up. only good if you already saw it 94. Ask random people if they're more attracted to your blood or your body. 95. Leave the theater constantly. Trip every time you leave and come back. Loudly call for Edward to save you. 96. Walk up to someone wearing blue. Tell them Edward thinks you look hot. 97. If you're a brunette, wear blue. Proclaim yourself Bella. 98. In the hospital scene after she gets hit by Tyler start yelling, "He's a vampire!!" 99. Scream that Edward is a Vampire a hundred times before the movie. 100. Scream that you did all 100 things to do while waiting for the movie. 101. Dress up as Bella/Alice/ whoever and BE them. Make your friends dress up too and interact with you as if they really were their character. Scream about how you are NOT in Forks and run around. If you're Bella, trip a couple times. (= 102. Whenever Bella seems to be causing problems with the other characters (like when James first smells her) say in a loud, snide voice, "Y'know, the ACTUAL Switzerland didn't cause this much of a problem." 103. When Jacob makes his appearance, scream, "OH MY GOSH! EW! GET THEM OFF ME! FLEAS!" 104. Bring a Chihuahua with you, and when you get strange looks, reply matter-of-factly, "This is the new and improved Jacob. Travel-sized for one's convenience. " And promptly sprint away. 105. Sit next to a stranger and be very still. Stare into space for a long time. When the stranger finally asks if there's something wrong say, "I have foreseen..." in an ominous voice. 106. When Bella trips start singing, "She hit the floor next thing you know shawtty got low low low." 107. When Edward starts getting close to Bella to kiss her singing the theme of jaws xD. 108. Print out this list and sit by someone who's, no doubt, going to be oneof the people who takes movies so seriously that they'll scream at anyone who even whispers. Whip the list impressively out of your pocket, lean over and seriously ask for suggestions on which things to shout out. 109. Start a standing ovation before the movie starts. 110. Study the sides and get up in the middle of the scenes and act them out with your friends in front of the screen (or go a few times then do this). 111. Make friends with someone who works in the theater and get them to drag you out of the theater at some point, when they do yell 112. Confuse the n00bish movie goers into thinking that mike is edward's competition and divide the theater into team edward and team mike. Debate. Laugh. Enjoy. Then when some person who works at the theater comes and breaks it up, point to some random stranger and yell, "SHE/E STARTED IT!" and quickly run out. 113. Go and dress up and pretend to be Bella. Get a guy friend to go as Jacob or Edward and have a really big public break up with them in the middle of the theater before the movie. (this could actually be even better if its bella/edward and you do it right after the flirting with jacob scene during the movie.) 114. Instead of eating popcorn or candy, bring a large stuffed penguin and pretend you're feasting on that instead. Vampire teeth and fake blood would make it more interesting...Oh and ask anyone thats looking at you, "Wanna bite?" 115. Buy gummi bears, then go on about how great your 'irritable grizzlies' taste throughout the movie. 116. Start going on about the ballet scene at the beginning and how its really unfair that Edward didn't turn Bella into a vampire. 117. When Edward makes his appearance, fall out of your seat and clutch at your chest. Gasp for air in a very New Moon-Bella (or angsty! Bella, in other words) fashion. For better effect, moan, "He's gone" over and over again. 118. After a very romantic Bella/Edward scene in the New Moon movie (if they make one), say in a loud, cheery voice, "Wow, after an intense thing like that, who'd-a thought Bella ended up with Caius in the end?" 119. When Robert appears on screen for the first time, scream "SEXBOMB". 120. Find an Edward look alike, tackle hug them, and scream "EDWARD!". 121. Give the 12 year olds a chance! If they start acting teenybopperish, however, tower over them and claim that you are the Volturi, and you are here to accept their death wish. 122. Go around with a video camera, and quiz people on their Twilight knowledge, and give them small gifts if they get it right. And then post that video on YouTube! 123. Get to the front of the line first, and greet everyone who lines up. Introduce yourselves as Twilight characters. 124. Pick a random person (hot guy) in the crowd and follow them a while, make sure you are wearing red contacts, keep popping in and out and make sure they see a few glimpses of you...basically. ..freak them out!! 125. Bring your grandma and a guy painted in glitter. Reenact bella's dream in front of the screen. 126. Carry your little sister/brother in and ask anyone if they're hungry. 127. When Jasper (and his big freakish poofy hair!) first appears, scream, "OH MY GOSH, IT'S MICHAEL JACKSON!" 128. Have random Alice-esque visions all night about people's futures.Make them as crazy-weird as possible. 129. Ask to shake strangers hands, and then smile and act like Aro. Tell people, "That was interesting. " 130. Enter the theatre looking scared, and try to hide in the back. Have some friends come in dressed in long black robes. Have them haul you out of the theatre, whilst you scream "NO! PLEASE DEAR GOD NO!!" and other such dramatics. Come back in later with pale make up on. Try to "bite" random strangers. 131. Bring one of those paper fortune-tellers/ cootie-catcher things and make people pick numbers and colors. If asked about your bizarre behavior, claim to be Alice using a "vision-channeling device." 132. When Edward shows off his SEXY ABS-erm, I mean, sparkles-burst into a 133. Bring a podium and a large dry-erase board into the theater, and begin a very serious, scientific lesson on why real vampires sparkle. Continuously make a mockery of traditional Halloween fanged, high-collared, Dracula-esque vampires. For added hilarity, have one of your friends dress up as a traditional vampire and storm out of the theater indignantly during your lesson. 134. Claim you are from Denali (One of Tanya's clan) and cry every time you see Bella and Edward together. 135. Hum "Hedwig's Theme" the entire time. 136. Bring a megaphone and during particularly shocking moments in the movie use it to exclaim, "OH MY CARLISLE!" 137. Bring a megaphone and tell people that you are from the Volutri, and any fangirling teenyboppers will be escorted out. And say to one of your friends loudly, "So...you ready for dinner?" 138. Get to the theater SUPER early when no one's there. When people come and try to sit in the empty row that you're sitting in, deliberately tell them that the spot is taken for Bella/Edward/ Jacob/Alice/ Jasper/other Twilight characters. If they try to sit in the seat next to it, say it's for a different character's name. i.e: "Excuse me, that seat's saved for Carlisle...Er, that's saved for Esme...Uhm, that's saved for Jacob...Oh, that one's saved for Rosalie..." 139. Sit next to an older guy or lady and everytime something sad happens, turn to them and proclaim that you feel like there is a huge hole with jagged edges in your chest that is about to be ripped open and will cause you undeniable pain...watch their stunned reaction and then be a creep and get all touchy-feely and blow your nose on their sleeve or something...really works if you want someone to move..ha. 140. Laugh loudly everytime Edward opens his mouth to speak so that no one else can hear him. When someone tells you to be quiet say, "What? That was FUNNY!" 141. Whenever someone (onscreen or off) says, "Alice," quicky shout, "IN WONDERLAND." 142. Have a friend (of the opposite sex ie: boyfriend, girlfriend) come in before you and act like a total stranger. You come in as a werewolf. When you see them, tell them you've imprinted on them, and then immediately start making out. 143. Yell at the end of the movie when Bella and Edward kiss (if they do), "TOO BAD EDWARD LEAVES YOU IN NEW MOON! HA - HA!" 144. During the baseball scene start sobbing insanely loud and cry out, "WHY?! WHY DOES ALICE/CARLISE/ JASPER/EMMET HAVE TO DIE?!" Don't say all the names obviously, just pick one. 145. Say when Edward and James are fighting, "WHY DOES EDWARD HAVE TO DIE?!" 146. Have one of your (hairy?) guy friends come to the theater without their shirt. When someone asks him to put on a shirt or leave, have him run from the theater on all fours, howling loudly as he goes. Turn to the person and tell them to PLEASE not upset a werewolf again as it usually has deadly consequenses. 147. Gather a group of friends and make flyers to hand out outside the theatre explaining that vampires have feelings too and that they should not be exploited in this fashion. make picket signs and chant. 148. Before the movie starts, set up a stand and bet with everyone that you're the palest one of the lot. 149: Have a contest to see who has the best costume, knows the most facts, etc. etc. of people in the theater! 150. Have one person who looks like Edward and another person who looks like Jake and make them stand in front of the theater with brochures saying "VOTE FOR EDWARD AS MR. SWAN"/"VOTE FOR JACOB AS MR. SWAN" and at the end of the movie, count the votes and announce it inside the theater in the middle of a scene! if you want, you could also have an Eric!! 151. Chant T~O or Twihard or whatever you wanna be called. 152. Dress up as the Volturi, wait at the entrance and don't let in all the 153. Dress really trashy and wear violet contacts. "Lure" the "victims" into the theatre like this. 154. Watch movies with Rob and Kristen in such as: HP4(and 5), Panic Room, Zathura, Mission Without Permission, and others. 155. Enter the theater by means of a grate and underground tunnel system. When you eventually surface look cunfused and loudly ask if anyone has seen Aro recently. 156. When you first see 'Edward' on the screen yell, "CEDRIC IS RESURRECTED!" 157. Stare at a stranger in the theater intently and when they turn to look at you, you say, "Do I dazzle you?" 158. When Charlie first comes on screen, loudly shout, "Bet no one suspectedhim as part of the Volturi, huh?" 159. Whenever Edward comes on screen, say, "I vant him to suck my blood!" 160. Whenever one of the Cullens starts to walk near Bella, say with increasing volume, "Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun!!" like in Jaws. 161. Go to the movie with a friend. One of you bring a stuffed animal of a dog, and one of you bring one of dracula. Sit on opposite sides of the movie. While the movie is playing, continuously throw the stuffed animals back and forth while screaming "EDWARDD!!" if you have the Dracula and "JACOBB!!" if you have the dog one. If possible, make swiss cheese fall from cealing while you both scream "SWITZERLANDD! " 162. When Taylor Lautner comes onscreen, scream REALLY LOUDLY, "I THOUGHT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BIGGER!!" 163. Yell as the movie starts, "Alright, new Harry Potter movie! Yes!" Continue to comment on how awesome Daniel Radcliffe is, even if it's clearly Rob. 164. During all of the romantic scenes with Edward and Bella shout, "Take that Jacob Black!" 165. Follow anyone wearing a tan jacket around and sniff them. 166. Get there a good 3 hours early and go up to the people in line for the showing before yours and say loudly to the people you are with, "YOU KNOW, THE VAMPIRE BITES HER IN THE END. SHE DIES. I'VE READ THE BOOK." Knowing full well that it isn't true, but just to make the people mad. 167. When the lineup to get into the theatre gets really long, strike up an arguement with anyone near the front of the line about why you are a bigger Twilight fan than they are. 168. Dress up as a mountain lion and proclaim that, "Edward can eat me anytime he wants!" 169. Publicly mock anyone who might have come to the opening night with fangs or any other typical vampire getup, not knowing any better. 170. Have you and your friends dress up like the Volturi and ask loudly to the theatre at large before the movie, "Has anyone here seen a Carlisle Cullen? Aro has an important message for him!" when no one answers, pretend to discuss with your friends and then yell out: "It's feeding time!!", advancing on the crowd... 171. Bring a notebook and take notes on whatever, making your movements frantic and noticeable to the person next to you. Glare at them when they look at you questioningly and shift in your seat to keep the notebook's contents out of their sight. When the movie ends, quickly stand up, throw a black cloak over yourself and sweep mysteriously out of the theater. Avoid seeing them on your way out of the building. You know they'll be wondering about you. 172. At the very end of the movie, stand up dramatically and say, "So wait. Edward doesn't kill Bella. And Bella doesn't hook up with Eric. This is such a rip off!!" and storm out of the theatre. 173. Cry at the funniest moment, laugh at the most dramatic. Get a friend to ask loudly, "DO YOU HAVE MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER OR SOMETHING?". 174. Wear superlight makeup and body glitter with your vampire getup. 175. Dress up as vampire-movie theater workers (volturi would work too) and inform people that they cannot enter the theater with out their Twilight book or they muct be able to prove that they have an adequate knowlege of the book (or if they wear a Twilight tee shirt). 176. Try to go to a later showing, where nearly everyone is unfamiliar with the book. Ruin it for them in every way possible. 177. Yell loudly when Edward and Bella kiss, "EDWARD! !!WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME??NOOOOO!!" 178. During some quiet point in the movie, yell, "I BET EDWARD AND BELLA GET TOGETHER IN THE END!!" 179. Remark to random strangers romantic lines from the books like, "Do I dazzle you?" and, "If I could dream at at all, it would be about you..." 180. Any time Edward says "Bella" and then pauses, say, "I'm gay." REALLY loudly. 181. When Jacob first comes on, sing "Na na na na na na na, SHARK BOOOY!" like the Batman theme. 182. Make your pale friend hold an apple with both hands. WHAT TO DO IN AN EXAM YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL ANYWAYS: 1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!" 2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is. 3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level. 4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative. 5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off. 6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min. 7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else. 8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible. 9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you. 10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it. 11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam. 12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was. 13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly. 14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.) 15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy). 16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day. 17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away. 18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story. 19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave. 20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. 21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach. 22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave. 23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary. 24. Masturbate. 25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?" 26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! 27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out. 28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!" 29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai. 30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her. 31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her. 32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit." 33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..." 34. Fake an orgasm. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply. 35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect. 36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam. 37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen. 38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby. 39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle. 40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour. 41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if heshe did it. 42. Dress like the professor. 43. Cross-Dress. 44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam. 45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras. Edward vs Normal guys. A normal guy would say: “I love you Baby!” Normal Guy would say: “I think I am falling for you.” Normal Guy would say: “You hair looks like a haystack; go brush it!” A normal guy would pick a random song from a random artist and dedicate it to you. If you die, a normal guy would find another. As you leave the house, a normal guy would say: “Bye, see ya!” As you come back to the house, a normal guy would be watching TV and wouldn’t even notice. A normal guy would wait for you to make him breakfast. While you are both out for dinner, a normal guy wouldn’t keep his eyes off the sexy waitress. A normal guy, while driving, would keep one hand on the wheel and one hand on the radio. While far apart in different places, a normal guy would say: “I miss you.” A normal guy wouldn’t care or notice if you had nightmares. A normal guy buys you flowers and chocolates. 5 ways to open a banana: 1. Hack it into small pieces and then use a spoon to get the little pieces of banana out of their little peels. 2. Tie the banana to a tank of gas then throw the tank into the air and shoot a flaming arrow through it. 3. Stomp on it until the insides squishes out through the top. 4. Drill a hole through it and then use a toothpick to get the insides of the banana out. And last but not least... 5. Simply peel it. Pick the month you were born: Pick the day (number) you were born on: Pick the color of shirt you are wearing: You Know You're Addicted to Twilight when... 1. You have 10 full pages of Twilight sayings, quotes, graphics, and pictures. 2. At the top of your List of Destinations is Forks, Washington. 3. After Edward Cullen, the boys in your class just don't look as good as they used to. 4. Twilight is your new favorite time of day. 5. You and your friends have looooooooong and heated discussion over who's better, the werewolves or the vampires. 6. Your dogs have names like Sam, Jacob, and Leah. Your cats have names like Edward, Alice, and Bella. 7. Your bumperstickers say thing like "I heart EC" or "I run with werewolves" or "Who needs dracula when you've got Edward Cullen?" 8. Your dream car: a silver Volvo. 9. Whenever there's a thunder storm, you go out looking for vampires playing baseball. 10. You like your men cold dead and sparkling! 11.. Your having trouble dealing with the fact that Edward Cullen is a fictional character. 12. You tell people: Read Twilight or I'll provoke the Volturi and blame you!" 13. You need the next book like a crack-head needs his next hit. 14. Edward Cullen helped you get over your ex. 15. Your stay single until you find a vampire. 16. None of the above behaviors seem odd to you. Just scroll down to the end, but while you do, think of a wish. Make your wish when you have completed scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the number of minutes it will take for your wish to come true. ex.you are 25 years old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish to come true). Go for it! SCROLL DOWN! STOP! Congratulations! Your wish will now come true in your age minutes. Now follow this carefully...it can be very rewarding! If you repost this within the next 5 min. something major that you've been wanting will happen. This is scary! The phone will ring right after you repost! WHO IS YOUR ROLE MODEL?? Try it without looking at answers 1) Pick your favorite number between 1-9 2) Multiply by 3 then 3) Add 3, then again Multiply by 3 (I'll wait while you get the calculator...) 4) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number…. 5) Add the digits together Now with that number see who your ROLE MODEL 1. Einstein 2. Nelson Mandela 5. Bill Gates 6. Gandhi 7. Brad Pitt 8. Hitler 9. MAXIMUM-TWILIGHT313!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! 10. Barack Obama I know...I just have that effect on people...one day you too can be like me... :) Believe it! PS. Stop picking different numbers. I AM YOUR IDOL, JUST DEAL WITH IT!! Now copy and paste this into your profile, and change your name in #9. There was One day, He asked Her When you were 5, your mom gave you a ice cream cone. You thank her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind. NEVER ARGUE WITH A WOMAN! 1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine. I can't stand people who like Edward OR jacob. If you were a REAL Twilighter you would like BOTH!! |
