Good morning/ Afternoon / Evening to all my fellow fan fictioners!! Yes auto correct, I know fan fictioners is not a word… Anyway, I hope you are having a fantabulous time surfing the internet, and thankyou for visiting my profile!!! You are actually AWESOME!!!

Okay, well, basically I am from Australia (as you may have already noticed from that little flag over there somewhere). I LOVE the Mentalist, Criminal Minds, Harry Potter, Skulduggery Pleasant, Bones, Sherlock Holmes, Fallen series, Pirates of the Caribbean, Book of Lies trilogy, Dragon Keeper, Castle, anything by Agatha Christie, the Gone series, Downton Abbey, Hunger Games etc, etc and… well… you get the picture.

I love a lot of things. At the moment I’ve just written fan fics for the Mentalist and Criminal Minds, but in the future I might write for other things too.

Yes, um, so pretty pretty please read my stories and if you like them pretty pretty please with sugar on top review them!! I’ll do my best to update as often as possible, but unfortunately my homework doesn’t seem to care too much about fan fiction… :( Or anything else for that matter. The more reviews I get the more I’ll write, the faster I’ll write, and therefore the faster I’ll update! Reviews are awesome!!

Okay… About me… We’ll obviously I’m not gonna tell you my name, coz you might stalk me… Although I’m sure you’re a lovely person and would never do such a thing!! But just in case… But there are a few things I can tell you, although I doubt you’ll find them very interesting…

My favourite colour is rainbow, because I’m so indecisive I can’t choose just one...

My hobbies include writing (fanfic, obviously, as well as for random competition) painting (as you may have established from my pretty average profile pic thingy) and drawing, photography, watching random funny things on youtube, stalking the cast of Criminal Minds and the Mentalist via the internet, watching Criminal Minds, Harry Potter and the Mentalist as much as I possibly can, reading (books and fanfics), playing random sports, shopping and hanging out with my friends :)

I have a younger sister who is almost as obsessed with the Mentalist, Criminal Minds and Harry Potter as I am! Though not quite...

I play the flute and the piano (my sister and love to play Harry Potter duets and that cute song Reid plays with the kid called Coda).

My favourite sports include tennis, netball, cricket and footy (AFL for all you non-Aussies).

At school my favourite subjects are English, art, philosophy and history.

My favourite foods include any sort of sweets (especially lemon meringue pies!!), pasta, chicken and seafood.

Anyway, so that’s pretty much the only ‘interesting’ (if you can call it that) stuff about me… On a different note, I know I really enjoy reading these random funny lists on other people’s profiles, so for all those people like me, ENJOY!! If not, please scroll down and read my stories!! And please review them!!! I would be soooooo grateful!!

Thanks guys!!

(Unfortunately I didn’t write these, but I definitely fell on the floor laughing at them! Well maybe not quite, but they are hilarious. I hope like them!!)

50 Ways to Land Yourself in Detention

1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (Keep your back on the walls as you walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)

2. After everything your teacher says, ask ‘why’ continuously.

3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask “DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG?????” very loudly.

4. If your teacher starts blowing up at you for saying that, simply reply, “Wow I can tell you’re a blast at parties.”

5. Sit in a corner and wait for everyone to stare at you. When they do, grab your head and scream “THE LIGHT! MAKE IT STOP! ARGH IT BURNS!!!!”

6. Flick pieces of paper around the classroom.

7. When your teacher tells you to stop, cross your arms and say, “You’re racist against paper aren’t you.”

8. Don’t do your Homework.

9. When your teacher asks you why you didn’t do your homework say “I dropped it while beating up this guy for saying you’re the worst teacher ever.” then sit there and smile sweetly.

10. When you have a supply teacher, wait for them to write their name on the board. Then when they say hello my name it Mr/Mrs (insert name here), stand up and say “PROVE IT!”

11. When your teacher asks why you were late say, “My goldfish died.” Then burst into tears.

12. When handing in your homework, write this paper will self-destruct in 5 seconds at the bottom.

13. When you leave the class bow and say, “May the force be with you, young one.”

14. When the teacher turns the light off, start singing opera as loud as you can. When they turn the light back on, look around pretending to be confused.

15. Whisper to the person next to you. When the teacher comes up behind you, scream “OMG GET AWAY! RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!”

16. Walk into class dancing the Macarena

17. Tell your teacher you heard the other teachers talking about him/her in the staff room

18. Raise your hand and say "I totally agree" after everything your teacher says

19. Spend the whole lesson trying to lick your elbow

20. Speak in French.

21. Come late to class in a Spider-Man costume; say there was "a disturbance”

22. When they tell someone to turn around have everyone in class do it as well

23. "The homework’s due now? Oh, give me a minute then."

24. Hand in an essay where every word is misspelt.

25. Run in the room screaming, “THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!”

26. When the teacher asks you why you are late, say, “The queen is never late, everyone else is simply early”.

27. When a teacher asks you a question, say, “I’m sorry, the brain you tried to reach has been disconnected, please leave me alone or try again later, thank you.”

28. When the teacher turns on the overhead projector, scream “AAH MY EYES!!”

29. Tell yourself knock knock jokes, then laugh loudly.

30. Hide under your desk and yell “THE SKY IS FALLING!”

31. When someone knocks on the door, shout “OH NO, THEY’RE COMING FOR ME!”

32. Bring in a year 7 and says they’re your new pet.

33. In your technology lesson, when the teacher asks you what you are making, say a nuclear bomb.

34. When your teacher asks you a question just stare at them.

35. Constantly talk to yourself in a low voice.

36. Purposely fall off your chair and make a big scene about it.

37. If you’re playing a really boring game, make a big deal if you win.

38. Glue all the scissors together.

39. Make paperclip jewellery. E.g. necklaces, earrings etc…

40. Pull out one strand of someone’s hair and yell “DNA!”

41. Wear a sticker or a badge that says ‘I am retarded’

42. Talk to a pen.

43. Put your hand up in a test and wait for your teacher to come over. When they whisper what’s wrong, yell “NO I WON’T SNOG YOU!”

44. Yell “LIAR!” to everything they say.

45. Smile. All the time.

46. Draw a tiny black spot on your arm. Make it bigger everyday. Look at it and say, “It’s spreading, IT’S SPREADING!”

47. When a supply teacher is taking the register, say everyone is missing. Then, if they ask who you are, say ‘Your worst Nightmare’

48. When you know the answer, bounce up and down a go “OOOHH I KNOW THIS"

49. When a teacher calls on you say, “I forgot"

50. If you have to blow your nose in class, blow your nose to the tune of your favourite song.

How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity in the Workplace

1) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after you boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender.

3) Make up nicknames for all your co-workers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-cha."

4) Send e-mails to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."

5) Highlight your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as much since you did this.

6) While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Madge.

7) Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.

8) Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.

9) Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask them if they want fries with that.

10) Send e-mails back and forth to yourself engaging in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask them to settle the disagreement.

11) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.

12) Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN."

13) Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.

14) Send e-mails saying there's free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunch room. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."

15) Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

Funny Signs (these are actually real!)

IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs

IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps will be taken.

IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

ON A CHURCH DOOR: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance.)

OUTSIDE A SECOND-HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?

QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.

NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness.

SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car.

SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.

MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.

ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work.)

SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.

How to Be Annoying:

1) Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

2) Drum on every available surface.

3) Sing the Batman theme constantly.

4) Staple papers in the middle of the page.

5) Ask emergency operators for their home phone number. If they don’t give it to you ask why they are calling YOU at home.

6) Sew department store anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

7) Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

8) Set alarms for random times.

9) Honk and wave to strangers.

10) Dress only in clothes coloured Hunter's Orange.

11) Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

12) Tape pieces of "PlaySchool" over climactic parts of rental movies.

13) Borrow someone’s eraser, then when they ask for it back, throw it across the room, making sure it misses them, and shout “You sure can’t catch!!”

14) In the middle of a long car trip, yell out, really loudly, “I need to pee’. To be even more annoying, do it just after you’ve left, or taken a pee break.

15) When on a long road trip, say “are we there yet’ every five minutes.

You know you're obsessed with The Mentalist when

1. You listen for references to the show in every song

2. You freak out when you see police headquarters

3. The majority of the emails in your inbox are about the Mentalist

4. You pretend your iPod case is a CBI badge

5. You check the fan site multiple times a day to check for updates

6. You have a Mentalist playlist on your iPod

7. It comforts you to read comments from overly-obsessed fans because you know you're not the only one

8. You have some scenes memorized

9. You can spend a whole day doing nothing but reading fan fiction

10. You can't sleep because you can't stop making up episodes/cases in your head

11. When you wake up, the first thing that pops into your head is the Mentalist

12. You would pay money for the season to start sooner

13. You always wait for the right moment to say a quote from the Mentalist when you’re talking with someone

14. You can type "the Mentalist" really fast because of all the times you have googled it

15. You are in class and start drawing Red John's smiley faces on your notebook

16. You think you want to join the CBI

17. When some one is named Patrick (or any other Mentalist related name - character or actor) you suddenly daydream about the show

18. You start wearing vests

19. You try to get a grip of people's pulses just because Patrick Jane does it

20. You want to try to buy an old Citroen

21. You want to take a course in hypnotism

22. You observe everything around you and try to place it with the Mentalist

23. You draw a Red John symbol in your room

24. You bust out Mentalist quotes when the time calls for it or randomly

25. You look at your couch and say you need a brown one so you can sleep on it more often

26. You find yourself flicking other people on the nose to punish them

27. You start to refer to people as irksome instead of plain annoying

28. You quote The Mentalist in random conversations, even if it has nothing to do with the line of conversation

29. You dress like Van Pelt

30. You have your hair cut like Lisbon's

31. You write fan fiction every day for the Mentalist

32. You try to convert all of your friends

33. Every time something goes wrong you act like it’s a crime scene

34. You ask yourself constantly "What would Jane do?"

35. You don’t respond to your name but to one of the characters names

36. You’re more observant of the people around you

37. You sword fight with little kids

38. You’re able to charm the people around you

39. You can tell which season an episode is from by the length of Lisbon’s hair

40. When referring to women you call them accordions, men as toasters

41. When some says "How dare you" you respond by saying "Did I do something daring?"

42. When it never gets boring to watch scenes over and over again on YouTube

43. When you read the newspaper to find police cases that have been solved, and, in your mind, complicate them and make them into a CBI case

44. You start breaking rules to get an answer

45. You make bets you can seduce anyone in the whole room

46. You add to this list!!!!

47. You repeat your favourite scenes in your mind when you’re bored, and the people ask you why you’re smiling for no reason

48. You watch "Devil Wears Prada" over and over just to see Simon Baker shirtless (and think that it’s Patrick Jane shirtless)

49. You spend hours thinking who can be Red John and what "He is Ma..." means

50. You almost cry when Jane remembers his family

51. You say something, and realize later that it's something Jane, Lisbon, Cho, Rigsby, or Van Pelt would say

52. You make up excuses or not go somewhere so you can be home to see a new episode right when it comes on!

53. You’re actually reading this list!

54. You want to name your children Patrick, Teresa, Kimball, Wayne, Grace, or the actors’ names

55. You doodle the Red John face on your school books/office paperwork/anything!

56. You freak out when you see crows hovering overhead

57. You get overly excited when in science class you throw a manila folder onto the table and sit down, because you feel like Cho starting an interrogation

58. When you see a smiley face and you automatically think Red John

59. All you go on the computer for is Mentalist websites and fan fiction

60. You used to use smileys in your texts, but now seeing one makes you cry

61. You wish it came as a book so you could read it in school

62. Constantly create characters you could play

63. You start calling everyone by their last name

64. You buy yourself a blue teacup to drink your tea from

65. You practice being deadpan like Cho, even when someone tells you a joke!

66. When you get any magazine, you flip to the TV section just to see if the Mentalist was in the top 20 watched

67. You have watched all the episodes even when they are not out in your country yet

68. You have made a story in which the main character can hypnotize

69. Your family don’t even bother to ask what DVD your watching, just which season it is

70. You freak out when you see Simon Baker and he’s not wearing a vest!!

You know you’re obsessed with Criminal Minds when…

1. You miss Gideon and you still believe he will come back one day.

2. You know that Reid can read 20,000 words per minute and has an IQ of 187

3. You know all the nicknames that Morgan and Garcia have for each other

4. Even if it's a repeat you DEMAND to be there on time to watch it

5. Criminal Minds somehow comes into almost all of your conversations

6. You cried when Garcia was shot, when Reid got kidnapped, Elle got shot, Morgan was almost blown up, or when Hotch was left there dying

7. You learn most of your worldly facts from Reid

8. You can hum the theme song by memory

9. Or you hear it and yell "Criminal Minds is on!"

10. You missed JJ when she went on maternity leave

11. After watching Criminal Minds you dream about becoming a member of the FBI or BAU

12. You know that Reid wears mix matched socks

13. You now try to profile all of the people you meet

14. YOU HATE STRAUSS

15. Just because of Derek Morgan, you feel the need to kick down doors

16. You know the episodes where Derek Morgan has his shirt off and you take extra special notice to watch them every time you can

17. Horror movies aren't fun anymore. You know the killer before anyone else because of your now profound profiling skills

18. You have/attempted to write a fan fiction about Criminal Minds

19. You've recruited one or more of your friends to watch Criminal Minds

20. You look up Criminal Minds videos on you tube constantly

21. Physics magic is the coolest!

22. You dream of a Criminal Minds movie

23. You have fantasized about at least one of the characters

24. You know that JJ used to collect butterflies

25. You start to imagine new CM episodes when you are part of the cast.

26. You count your weeks not from Sundays to Sundays but from the weekly CM episode to the next one

27. You live in a different country and seriously consider staying up until 4 in the morning to try to watch the net upload as soon as possible.

28. You start thinking that the police could do with your help as clearly you are now profiler extraordinaire after re-watching every episode.

29. When you watch your favourite episodes you can quote along with the characters.

30. You imagine how you'd look in the opening sequence of the show.

31. You love watching all the shows related to profiling, and you're usually able to figure out the motives and the profile of the criminal.

32. Jason Gideon did not leave. He just likes to hide under Aaron Hotchner's desk all the time.

33. You cried when Reid was kidnapped in Revelations

34. You keep having dreams in which you are in the show and it all seems so real

35. You NEVER make plans on a night when a new episode is on

36. If there is ever a marathon of Criminal Minds, you know three weeks in advance.

37. Being buried alive is now your worst fear.

38. When you are in a situation and you think, "What would Derek Morgan do?" You have the sudden urge to break down a door...

39. When Morgan and Garcia's conversations are the highlight of your evening.

40. Every conversation you have always ends with Criminal Minds, no matter what topic you started with.

41. You (like Derek Morgan) believe Spencer Reid knows everything, no matter how much he says he doesn’t.

42. You know random facts about every character

43. Reid has made you love nerds

44. No one even has to ask you what you're doing on the computer because they know it's CM related

45. You think of being a victim in the show and that Morgan is the one who saves you

46. You profile everyone in a grocery store or mall until your friend drags you away... There is something weird with someone buying 20 pounds if carrots...

47. You get in trouble in class when you are profiling your weird teacher and she asks a question and you’re concentrating too hard to reply

48. You know tons of quotes from the start of Criminal Minds episodes, and put them in essays frequently

49. You can easily see yourself as one of the team

50. All you can do on a plane is compare it to the BAU jet

51. A door is locked and you look for Morgan

52. When you have a hard question on a test you think "what would Reid do"

53. One of the characters is your LIFE idol

54. You notice what your friends do and at first they got really creeped out that you were always watching

55. You feel the need to correct people when the wrongly judge someone behaviour.

56. You NEVER plan things on Criminal Minds nights

57. When someone creeps you out you immediately reach your hand to your hip to grab your "gun"

58. You have become slightly paranoid

59. You think Jack is the most adorable kid ever

60. You know that Morgan is actually just a giant, sexy teddy bear

61. You know that Hotch smiles all the time...on the inside...

62. Whenever Reid embarrasses himself, you have the overwhelming urge to reach through the TV and give him a big hug

63. You really want to finally do the IQ test

64. You write down all of the types of serial killers, torturers, kidnappers in a notebook and the thought that someone can see it and think that you're crazy kinda freaks you out.

65. You think that you are the happiest person alive when you find links to watch the show on-line.

66. The best nickname someone can give you is Babygirl!

67. You start to dress like Garcia

68. You've been studying profiling in case they suddenly need a teenage girl on the team

69. You try to talk like Reid. And can't…

70. Like Reid, you throw a statistic in a conversation, even if it’s not true

71. No one ever has to ask you anymore what your favourite show is

72. You want to get a black cat and call it Sergio

73. Your expectations of guys are WAY too high because of Reid

74. When Hotch’s eyes get watery, you’re already crying

75. You yell at everyone in the room to be quiet when an ad for the next episode comes on

76. You have a dance specifically for the theme music

The End!

Well I hope you enjoyed those. I know I certainly did! They were way longer than I first expected!! Please please read my stories now, and review them!! I will be so grateful!!

Thanks :D - thetyger