Hello everyone.

Random Facts About Me

I am: female

My favorite genres are: Fantasy (who doesn't want to escape the real world from time to time), myths(especially Greek, roman, and Egyptian), and mystery.

My least favorite genres are: non fiction (boring), realistic fiction (what's the point of fiction if there's a chance what is written can happen), and tragedy

My favorite movies: Edward scissor hands, Spirited away, read it and weep, Batman: Under The Red Hood, Superman/ Batman: Public Enemies, Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths, Superman/ Batman: Apocalypse, Justice League: Doom, Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox, Justice League: War, Son of Batman,Justice League: Throne of Atlantis, Batman vs. Robin, Justice League: Gods and Monsters, Batman: Bad Blood, and Justice League vs. Teen Titans

my least favorite movies are: Mama, all the percy jackson movies (they make fun of the books and why isn't Grover looking for Pan?), Avatar the last airbender (ruins the television series), and movie parodies.

my favorite book series are: Mortal instruments, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Heroes of Olympus, Kane Chronicles, Harry Potter, Divergent, Maze Runner, and Gone.

My least favorite book series are: none

My favorite Musical artists are: P!nk, Avril Lavigne, Sia, Breaking Benjamin, Skillet, Three Days Grace, Daughtry, Set it Off, Thousand Foot Krutch, Linkin Park, Lorde, Melanie Martinez,Starset, Muse, Simon Curtis, 3 Doors Down, Kelly Clarkson, Panic at The Disco, Escape the Fate, Maroon 5, Aveged Sevenfold, Avicii, Green Day, Christina Aguilera, Coldplay, Little Mix, Demi Lavato, Declan Galbraith, Arrows to Athens, The Downtown Fiction, Imagine Dragons, Fall out boy, Evanescence

My favorite pairings are: Perico, Birdflash, Bluepulse, BatFlash, HalBarry, Koy, and Bluepulse

Favorite television series: Teen Titans, Young Justice, Batman: The Animated Series, Justice League Unlimited, and Fillmore

Favorite New 52 comic series: Red Hood and the Outlaws, Grayson, Gotham Academy, Titans Hunt, We are Robin, Earth 2, Teen Titans, Superboy, Supergirl, Batman and Robin, The Flash, andJustice League

I’m the girl that always got bullied.

I’m the girl that is a victim of domestic abuse.

I’m the girl that isn’t loved by her parents.

I’m the girl that got raped repeatedly by her older brother, because she wanted him to like her.

I’m the girl that got ignored when there was something wrong.

I’m the girl that never had real friends.

I’m the girl with social problems.

I’m the girl that never learned how to correctly ‘behave’ around people my age.

I’m the girl with thrust problems.

I’m the girl that’s paranoid.

I’m the girl that’s afraid to make a mistake and get bullied for it.

I’m the girl that likes a fantasy world more than the real world.

I’m the girl that has considered suicide a lot of times.

I’m the girl that is always crying inside.

I’m the girl that only gets criticized for doing what she loves.

I’m the girl that is seen as different because she’s half German.

I’m the girl of whom everybody expects too much.

I’m the girl that doesn’t get the credit she deserves.

I’m the girl that helps other people while she needs help herself, but doesn’t want it.

I’m the girl that’ll never know what real love feels like.

I’m the girl that has too many traumas to count.

I’m the girl that got send to a therapist without knowing why.

I’m the girl that got angry when she figured out why.

I’m the girl that got her own ‘anti-(name)’ group.

I’m the girl that sometimes thinks about killing people for fun.

I’m the girl that thinks it’s funny when people get hurt.

I’m the girl that doesn’t know what real emotions feel like.

I’m the girl that doesn’t like being in the spotlight when things get personal.

I’m the girl that can’t let go of the past.

I’m the girl that can’t see the future.

I’m the girl that won’t commit suicide because she knows people still expect things from her.

I’m the girl that doesn’t like disappointing people.

I’m the girl that would put her own safety at risk to save somebody else.

I’m the girl that is not afraid to be a moron in public.

I’m the girl that tries to be somebody she’s not.

I’m the girl that will lose herself in fan fictions because they’re more appealing the life.

I’m the girl that hopes that she’ll end up with people like Batman when her time has come.

I’m the girl that tells people to follow their dreams while she doesn’t.

I’m the girl that wonders what she’ll see when she’d slit her wrists.

I’m the girl that doesn’t like showing her real emotions to somebody.

I’m the girl that wants justice for everybody that can’t get it themselves.

I’m the girl that doesn’t want to follow the law.

I’m the girl that doesn’t want to be labeled.

I’m the girl that gets blamed for things she didn’t do, even impossible things.

I’m the girl you can tell everything to, but won’t talk herself.

I’m the girl that talks to herself because nobody would listen.

I’m the girl that locks herself in her room because she has leaned to be alone.

I’m the girl that likes darkness more than light.

I’m the girl that decided to put her story out there before it was too late.

I’m the girl that refuses to let people know everything about her.

I’m the girl that acts too well so nobody would know there’s something wrong.

Post this on your profile if you think people should be more observant of the people around them. You never know when you might meet somebody that needs help.

If you hate stereotypes, copy and paste this on to your profile and bold the ones apply to you.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.

I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self-control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read MANGA, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I'm a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts

I'm a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I'm WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE

I'm not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I care about the ENVIRONMENT, so I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast

I like GAMES, ANIME and MANGA, so I MUST be childish

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I'm STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo's

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times

I'm GAY so I'm after EVERY straight guy around.

I don't want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten timesaver , then burst into tears at one mistake

I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I'm a Female fighter so I must have BIG BOOBS or be UGLY

I DAYDREAM, so I MUST be SELF CENTERED

I LIKE FIRE, so I MUST be an ARSONIST.

I HOLD MY ANGER IN, so I MUST BEAT PEOPLE (ANIMALS).

The girl you just called fat? She is overdosing on diet pills. The girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her. The boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. See that man with the ugly scars? He fought for his country. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. Put this as you're profile if you're against bullying. I bet 95% of you wont put this on your profile, but I'm sure the people with a heart and backbone will.

(if you'r a girl that would say stuff like that then post this on your profile)

Guy: Where have you been all my life?
Girl: Hiding from you.

Guy: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Girl: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Guy: Is this seat empty?
Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Guy: Your place or mine?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Guy: So, what do you do for a living?
Girl: I'm a female impersonator.

Guy: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Girl: Do not enter.

Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Girl: But would you stay there?

Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Girl: Really? 'Cause I'd put i at the beginning and u at the end.

Guy:Your eyes they're amazing.
Girl: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Guy: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Girl: It's in the phone book

Guy: I know how to please a woman
Girl: Then please leave me alone

Guy: I can tell you want me
Girl: Ohhhh, your so right, I want you to leave

Guy: If you were a hamburger at McDonalds you would be McGorgeous
Girl: Would that be under your McLame Burger

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven
Girl: Not nearly as bad as when you fell on planet rejection

Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again
Girl: No, but sure...next time just be sure to keep walking

Guy: I want to give myself to you
Girl: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts

Guy: It's a good thing I have a library card because I'm checking you out
Girl: Sorry, I'm on reserve for someone else

Lol, he just got SERVED!

am the girl that doesn't go to school functions or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book.

I am the girl that people look through when I say something.

I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.

I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.

I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone.

I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. (I actually decline when asked out.)

I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with superhero comics, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone:Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom, Tigress5674, sistersgrimmaddict, gothicgirl101, Lupa Dracolis, GhostAuthor, PyrusAngel, Twikadevra, CatchingWind, OwlheadAthena, Zii Raevyn, Riqis Inna Sunja, PikaWings, Black and Yellow Badger,

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin, The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Bust_A_Groover, Takahane, Fire Thief, Sarah303, Thank you people who are nice,AfterDarkHours, OneDreamADay, Psychic_Ghost, DannySamLover20, SmallvillePhantom14, CatchingWind, OwlheadAthena, Zii Raevyn, Riqis Inna Sunja, PikaWings, Black and Yellow Badger,

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile and add your name to the list: OneDreamADay, Psychic_Ghost,DannySamLover20, SmallvillePhantom14, CatchingWind, OwlheadAthena, Zii Raevyn, Riqis Inna Sunja, PikaWings, Black and Yellow Badger,

f you can read this message, you are Awesome, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"

I thought it was funny so I copy-pasted it form BloodBlossom88's profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever had an argument with yourself and lost copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate hate HATE writers' block with a passion, copy and paste this on your profile.

99% of teenagers would die if Justin Bieber jumped off a building. Repost this if you're the 1% that would be eating pop corn wearing 3D glasses screaming "Do a back flip!"

If Justin Bieber went missing, 97% of people would search 2% would cry and if you are the 1% poking your new prisoner with a sharp stick then copy and paste this into your profile.

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.

What my mother taught me:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why.

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

This is funny!

Father:"You’re in big trouble Miss!"

Child: "I didn’t do anything!"

Father: "YOU KICKED HIM!!"

Child: "It was an accident!"

Father:"In the Face...?"

Child: "My foot slipped..."

Father: "Five times?!"

Child: ...

The Teenage Bill of Rights:

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(Why wait that long)

2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)

3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)

4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(Destruction has a bigger effect)

5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(Everyone knows grandma has more money)

6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Just start them)

7) Thou shall not skip class.
(Just take the whole day off)

8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)

9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "Just do it")

10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street. (Push them in)

DevianART:

"Human Stupidity, we're all going to die, embrace it."

TEN SURE SIGNS THAT YOU ARE AN OBSESSED FANFICTION WRITER

1. When you ask yourself a question as one character and respond as another one.

2. When you begin to compare what a friend says to something one of your characters would say.

3. When you are talking to a friend and you suddenly scream, “Oh my god! I just got the greatest idea for a story of mine!” and your idea has
NOTHING to do with what you were talking about.

4. When you lock yourself in your room, crank up the music, and act out an entire story…and then forget everything you thought of.

5. When you are listening to a song and go “Oh my god! This song is exactly what (Insert story here) is about!”

6. When you run around the house dancing and thinking of an idea, acting all crazy, and write the scene that turns out to be a very sad, calm scene.

7. When you fear to daydream because you are afraid of your characters hunting you down and killing you for the torture you put them through.

8. When you can’t fall asleep without thinking about what is going to happen in your next chapter.

9. When you begin to in vision your own version of someone else’s fanfic.

10. When you think out loud and start giggling and jumping around talking to yourself when you come up with a good idea.

Friends and Best Friends

FRIENDS: Will help you when you're lost.
BEST FRIENDS: Will be the ones messing with your compass, stealing your map, and giving you bad directions.

FRIENDS: Will help you learn to drive.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you push the car into the lake so you can collect insurance.

FRIENDS: Will watch your pets when you go away.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't let you go away.

FRIENDS: Will help you up when you fall down.
BEST FRIENDS: Will point and laugh ‘cause they tripped you.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Will be sitting beside you saying ''Dang, we screwed up!'' or "That was AWESOME!"

FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you kidnap the band.

FRIENDS: Call your parents ''Mr.'' or ''Mrs.''
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents ''Mom'' or ''Dad''

FRIENDS: Ask you for your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Ask you for their number.

FRIENDS: Hide you from the cops.
BEST FRIENDS: Are probably the reason they are after you in the first place.

FRIENDS: Let you make an idiot out of yourself in public.
BEST FRIENDS: Are up there with you making an idiot out of themselves too.

FRIENDS: Fade.
BEST FRIENDS: Are FOREVER.

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella.
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say "RUN FORREST! RUN!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Help themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried... just laugh about it with you in private when you’re not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Have you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Lose your crap and tells you, "My bad... here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's butt that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME! What's for dinner?"

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Help you find your prince/princess.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnap him/her and brings him/her to you, dropping them at your feet.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to bury the body of the person that made you cry.

FRIENDS: Will pass you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Continues walking while saying, "Walk much, doofus?"

FRIENDS: Roll their eyes when you start rambling yet again about your boyfriend/girlfriend (the fourth time that night).
BEST FRIENDS: Start gushing with you.

FRIENDS: Smile when you get obsessed with something.
BEST FRIENDS: Get obsessed along with you.

FRIENDS: Say "See you later!"
BEST FRIENDS: Say "I LUUUUUHHHVVV you! DON'T LEAAVVEE!" and then tackle hug you.

FRIENDS: Forgive you.
BEST FRIENDS: Hold a fake grudge against you until you let them borrow a hair band, pencil, etc.

FRIENDS: Tell jokes with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Have countless inside jokes with you.

FRIENDS: Tell you that you're the most annoying thing on earth.
BEST FRIENDS: Say the same thing, except then they laugh and say "I guess that counts for me too!"

FRIENDS: Annoy you.
BEST FRIENDS: Annoy you, but then make you laugh.

FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (study buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Comfort you when you fight with someone.
BEST FRIENDS: Go over to their house and kick their butt.

FRIENDS: Tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house.
BEST FRIENDS: The ones getting fined by the police with you.

FRIENDS: Think you’re insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline.
BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping right after you.

FRIENDS: Come over every couple of months for a sleepover.
BEST FRIENDS: Are your weekend boarders.

FRIENDS: Are offended when you make fun of them.
BEST FRIENDS: Kick your butt and all is forgiven.

FRIENDS: Don't see you if you're sick.
BEST FRIENDS: Are why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone.

FRIENDS:Your family likes to embarrass you in front of them.
BEST FRIENDS: They like to embarrass you in front of your family.

FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post on this crap!

95% of teens would cry if they saw the Jonas Brothers at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this if you are part of the 5% that would sit there with popcorn and a camera and yell "DO A FLIP!!!

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a slut. No-one knows she was raped at 13. People call a girl fat. No-one knows she has a serious disease which causes her to be over weight. People call an old man ugly. No-one knows he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war. Repost this if you're against bullying and stereotyping. 95% of you won't. This breaks my heart every time I see it. I've been and still am bullied because I'm not afraid to be myself. So what if I'm a 14 year old girl that is obsessed with superheroes? So what if I act like a moron on public? So what if I'm not a walking twig? So what if I'm not afraid to answer questions when I know the answer? DON'T BE AFRAID TO BE WHO YOU ARE!)

The 6 Truths of Life

1. You can't lick all your teeth with your tongue

2.You just tried to do the above

3.The first one is a lie

4.You're smiling right now because you're realizing you're an idiot

5.You are going to post this on your page for some other sucker to read it

6.You're smiling like an idiot right now

92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch or Holister said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you are one of the 8 who would be laughing their asses off

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you know someone who should get run over with a bus, copy this onto your profile

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy this onto your profile.(i know i have, more than once.)

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ran up a down escalator copy this into your profile

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not, copy this into your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this onto your profile

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times where you annoy people just for the fun of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this

If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile

Copy and paste this to your profile if you haven't died yet.

95% of teens would cry if they saw the Jonas Brothers at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this if you are part of the 5% that would sit there with popcorn and a camera and yell "DO A FLIP!!!

These are some funny sarcastic quotes, gotten from various locations including internet and other authors pages

1. Why be difficult, when with just a little bit more effort, you can be absolutely and perfectly impossible.

2. Sharks hug with their mouth.

3. The Zombies are coming! They're hungry for brains! Don't worry, you're safe.

4. My mind works like lightening...One brilliant flash and it's gone.

5. We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.

6. If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

7. When life gives lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

8. HELP!! I got lost in my mind, it was uncharted territory...

9. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

10. The only way for people to meet your standards, is for you to lower them, a lot.

11. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

12: A computer once beat me at chess, but was no match for me at boxing.

13. think I am sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care!

14. To fail you have to try. To try you have to fail first to start again.

15. Do I know Sarcasm? Why yes, he's my best friend. I call him Snarky for short...

16. I'm not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane…

17. Your just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

18. Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.

19. “I’d insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn’t understand and if I tried to explain it to you, your brain might implode from information overload.”

20. silence is golden. duct tape is silver.

21. When life give you lemons, throw them back at life and steal the oranges you asked for

22. It doesn’t matter what it is, it’s automatically cool if it glows in the dark!

23. I have the cupcake I MAKE THE RULES!

24. I got attacked by a giant screaming rainbow... but it turns out it was just technical difficulties

25. Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot your revenge :)

26. IN CASE OF EMERGENCIES: run like hell!

27. It takes real skill to trip over a flat surface

28. I didn't hit you, I simply high-fived your face...

29. The road to success is always under construction

30. I'm not deaf, I'm just ignoring you!

31. Procrastinators UNITE...tomorrow... Maybe... When's the deadline? :P

32. WARNING: do not set self on fire

33. DRINK COFFEE! Do Dumb Things Faster with More Energy!

34. I trip up the stairs :D

35. Pickles are cucumbers soaked in evil

36. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button!

37. Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery

38. I am a bomb technician - If you see me running try to keep up (Good luck with that."

39. PRIVATE PROPERTY: If you can read this, you are within range

40. Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils (Yep.)

41. Life sucks, and then you die.

42. Mean people suck, nice people swallow

43. Whenever you're in deep shit, BATMAN WILL SOLVE IT!

"Meaning of Color and your Birthday!!!"

Don 't cheat, If you are honest, this tells the truth. It's pretty good.

Write your answers on a piece of paper, and NO cheating!, The answers are at the bottom.

1. Which is your favorite color out of: red , black , blue , green , or yellow?

2. Your first initial?

3. Your month of birth?

4. Which color do you like more, black or white?

5. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

6. Your favorite number?

7. Do you like Flying or Driving more?

8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?

9. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

When you're done, scroll down. (Don't cheat!)

Answers:

1. If you choose:

Red - You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black - You are conservative and aggressive.

Green - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue- You are spontaneous and love, kisses and affection from the ones you love.

Yellow - You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

2. If your initial is:

A-K You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum & your love life is soon to blossom.

S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

3. If you were born in:

Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.

July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good.

Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

4. If you chose:

Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

5. This person is your best friend.

6. This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime.

7. If you chose:

Flying: You like adventure.

Driving: You are a laid back person.

8. If you chose:

Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

9. This wish will come true only if you re-post this in one hour as "Meaning of color and your birthday!" and it will come true before your next birthday

8 reasons the dark side rules

REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE

(If you wish to join add this list to your profile): 1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)

2. Meet the recruitment bunny!

3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!

4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA *cough cough*!

5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!

6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!

7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?

8. WORLD DOMINATION! Most PWNZORS reason!

('V')
(.)
(u.u

Copy and paste this bunny into your profile to help it achieve world domination.

Come to the dark side
(we have cookies)

I know I'm insane... It keeps me from going crazy. (It does!)

I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing, in dead silence... because of something that happened yesterday. (Happens many times)

Laugh and the world laughs with you, Laugh hysterically, for no apparent reason... and they'll leave you alone. (They really do)

When arguing with an idiot just make sure they're not doing the same thing! (hehe why no one argues with me)

I ran into my ex the other day... Put it in reverse and hit him again. (I have and I'll do it again [not literally])

When life gives you Lemons... Make Apple Juice then sit back and let the world wonder how the hell you did. (This is fun)

You laugh because I'm different... I laugh because you're all the same! (That I do)

Never argue with an idiot... they will just drag you down to their level and beat you with experiance (Being an idiot... This is how I win my arguments)

Do one brave thing to day... Then run like hell! (Good advise)

The heart wants what the heart wants... But when he's an ass... The friend wants a shot gun. (I have been the friend many many times)

Drink up while you can... cause sooner or later you'll be legal. (made this up because it's true)

I keep missing my ex... But my aim’s improving. (I've never missed)

I laugh because I have no idea what's going on. (Too true)

Life sucks... So be a dick and get somethin' out of it! (Again made up because it's true)

A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live, even though it meant that he would die. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children
(I can see some sense in this.)

2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts.
(...*opens mouth*...*shakes head*...)

3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping.
(...who would attempt?)

4. Candle: Warning, A burning candle is fire.
(YOU DON'T SAY?!)

5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking.
(I never would have thought of that...)

6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado
(Oh, that's pathetic...)

7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts
(...what? ... WHAT?)

8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children
(No. Just... No.)

9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.
(*slams head against desk* Oh my gosh...)

10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping
(People need to start reading labels.)

11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regular soap.
(That would be how?)

12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness
(I wonder why I'm taking this!)

13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required
(Obviously!!!)

14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use
(What other use?)

15. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

16. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special)?

17. On a bag of ice --Keep frozen
(So you don't put ice in the microwave?)

18. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

19. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought??...)

20. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time)?

21. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

22. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(And...I'm taking this because??...)

23. On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to...what)?

24. On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

25. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: Maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

26. On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

27. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity.

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal.
It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'
The next day someone stole it!

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

(That says a lot about the world today.)

60 things to do in an elevator:

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.

3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"

4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.

6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

7. Shave.

8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"

13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

14. One word: Flatulence!

15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

16. Do Tai Chi exercises.

17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"

19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.

20. Meow occasionally.

21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"

23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.

25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"

29. Leave a box between the doors.

30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

32. Start a sing-along.

33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"

34. Play the harmonica.

35. Shadow box.

36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.

37. Lean against the button panel.

38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

41. Bring a chair along.

42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"

43. Blow spit bubbles.

44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at the passengers.

49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."

50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"

51. Bring a water pistol. Soak everyone's shoes.

52. Start brushing off invisible bugs from your arms, screaming "Aaughh! Get them off!"

53. Challenge your neighbor to a "Tic-Tac-Toe" tournament.

54. Laugh hysterically for five seconds, stop, and glare at the other passengers like they are crazy.

55. Charge into the elevator dripping wet, holding a towel and wearing only a bath robe. Mutter something about how husbands/wives always come home early just when it's getting to the good part.

56. Make chalk drawings on the walls.

57. As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting "Down! I said down, dammit!"

58. Crouch in one corner and growl menacingly at everyone who gets on.

59. Try to get a game of "Twister" going.

60. Wrinkle your nose and smell the air repeatedly. Sniff at your neighbor suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step away.

Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dyslexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

The "You no like, you no read" club: If you believe that people who don't like someone's story should simply not read it instead of posting cruel and hateful reviews, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Alicia's Purple Velvet Purse, changelingchild, crimsonchidori, SasukeSakuraxXXxItachiSakura, cherryredblossom,BLOSSOMHEARTXOXO, Kagome-Loves-Kouga, Jessica01, Jidt, Horseluvr14, I'mdancinonthefloorforacartoon,Timmylover,Silent Phantom gal, Video/GamingFreak1213, BeliveInYourDreams, BringbackDannyPhantom, KodiakWolfe13, PikaWings, Black and Yellow Badger,

If you have no life, copy and paste this into your profile. (I'm pathetic, I know.)

If you see a white van and automatically assume it's either a rapist or a kidnapper, copy and paste this into your profile. (RUN FOR THE BUSHES!!)

If you have scared anyone so bad that they left you in under twenty minutes, copy and paste this into your profile. (I'm amazing like that.)

If you will think of stuff later to add to your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. (Again, no life...)

If you love Batman with a passion, copy and paste this into your profile. (I LOVE YOU!!)

If you are skilled at breaking hair-clips, copy and paste this into your profile. (9 clips. 1 week. -_- )

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you are against real fur on clothing then put this on your profile.

If you actually take the time to read other people's profiles, put this in yours.

If you like to read what people put in their profiles, and you like Copy& Paste stuff, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have copied and pasted more than 10 things into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have a little bit of Deception in you, paste this onto your profile!

If you enjoy fantasy in general, copy this into your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you are against any kind of abuse, copy and paste this to your profile.

65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then reading ,if you are part of the 35 percent who read more than watch TV and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are so bored in school and you create fanfictions in your head, copy and paste this into your profile.

"I walk, talk, eat and sleep on earth, but I live my life in a completely different world." If this sentence describes you, copy and paste on your profile.

If you love the music you listen to, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read your own stories or profile just for the heck of it,copy and paste this to your prof.

If you always have more than one tab open when on the computer, copy and paste

If you have a story in your head, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't know why people can't get it through their heads that members of the opposite sex can just be friends, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you don't 'obsess!', you just think intensely, post this on your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this to your profile.

If you think the school week is way too long and weekends are way too short, copy this onto your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

92 of the teens have moved onto rap. If you are part of the 8 that still listens to real music, copy and paste this into your profile. (I actually listen to both. So sue me! XD)

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear baiting, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If you avoid teen fads and don't live your life according to others copy and paste this.

If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you talk to yourself and aren't afraid to admit it to anyone, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you often laugh maniacally when you're all by yourself, please copy and paste this into your profile.

99.5 percent of teenagers and kids have a myspace and are literally addicted, if you are the 0.5 who thinks myspace is a dumb way to make friends, relationships, etc. post this onto your profile.

If you've ever had a dream about an anime/book/video game, etc. character, copy this onto your profile.

If you don't do drugs (They are nasty), copy/paste this into your profile

If you like to write, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you spend at least 3 hours a day looking at fanfictions...writing fanfictions...or looking at others profiles than copy and paste this on your profile!

FANFICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you daydream 24/7, copy this to your profile.

You think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

Drugs are bad news. Spread the word.

If you think cookies are awesome copy this onto your profile.

If you think writing is AWESOME copy this onto your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile.

If you are sometimes anti-social, but still really personable, copy this to your profile.

If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you spend most of your life on youtube.com or fanfiction.net and you admit to it...you admit to having no life...if you do...copy and paste this to your profile!!

If you aren't me, paste this on your profile.

If you have a profile, paste this on your profile.

If you have any secrets, paste this on your profile.

If you're on the computer, paste this on your profile.

If you have music in your soul, copy this into your profile.

95 percent of girls would scream and cry if the guy who plays Edward in Twilight jumped off the Empire State Building without a bungee cord or anything. 4 percent would grab popcorn and yell "COOL!" If you are part of the 1 percent who would be pushing him off, add this to your profile!

If you know sugar is the greatest plant ever grown, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile.

If you love to read, put this in your profile

If you're bored and you want a longer profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you mumble while you write/read and you do it unconsciously and don't realize you're doing it until someone asks what you just said, copy and paste this into your profile.

FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), DGMSilverAirHead03(USA), Crystal Amethyst (Armenia), InoueR0xO (Pakistan), poohxebony (USA), DreamingInThePast (Spain), loves2readandwrite (USA), SeaDevil (Sweden), Vampgal212 (U.K.), Verdigurl ( New Zealand), Animerockchic (Republic of Ireland), Momoka64 (USA), Ve Kuraresa Bleach (USA), AFleetingPhantom (U.K.), EpicHeroLaugh(USA), Fruity-Dragonfly (USA), 9foxgrl (USA), UnitedOsprey1991(USA), Dragonwolf12 (USA,), Ronanprime (USA) Crazy By Insane (USA), KodiakWolfe13 (USA), PikaWings (Belgium),

If you've gotten completely zoned out of a conversation that you don't even remember what you were talking about, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway you could have clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like to read what people put in their profiles, and you like Copy and Paste stuff, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you actually take the time to read other people's profiles, put this in yours.

If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile.

If you have ever read a 300 pg book or more in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you support Jack Sparrow and his jar of dirt, paste this into your profile.

If you have ever yelled at the book you were reading because the characters did something stupid, post this on your profile.

If you love rain, copy this into your profile.

If you are in la la land most of the time, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway, copy and paste this is your profile.

If you've ever yelled at an inanimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If that inanimate object now hates you more because you yelled at it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you

strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever snuck on fanfiction when you were supposed to be doing something else -say, your homework- copy and paste into your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book and people look at you weird, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk/sing to yourself, copy and paste this to your profile.

40 Ways to Annoy People

1. Pay tolls with 100 bills

2. Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the middle of the parking lot

3. Eat produce at the market; don't buy it

4. When giving directions, leave out a turn or two

5. Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April

6. Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons

7. Knock and ask "How is it going?" to someone constipated in a public bathroom stall.

8. Develop at least three strategies for cutting into the front of lines

9. Announce when you're going to the bathroom

10. Chew other people's pencils

11. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

12. Wear large hats during the movies

13. Touch strangers

14. Tell little children the truth about Santa Claus

15. Bite your dentist's finger

16. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

17. Sigh a lot when talking to someone.

18. Leave lipstick prints on people's cheeks and foreheads

19. Don't stand during hymns and anthems

20. Dance fast to slow music and vice-versa

21. Tell people they have bad breath

22. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

23. Flirt with a friend's spouse

24. Sit in the home bleachers and cheer for the other team

25. Shake with your left hand

26. Use the quote bunnies after every other word you say when talking to someone.

27. Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

28. Drum on every available surface.

29. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

30. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

31. Honk and wave to strangers.

32. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

33. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

34. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.

35. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

36. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

37. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

38. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

39. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

40. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

FAKE FRIENDS: Try to comfort you when you feel down.
REAL FRIENDS: Grab you by the shoulders, shake you, and say "Dude, snap out of it!

FAKE FRIENDS: Always keep your stuff they borrowed in perfect condition.
REAL FRIENDS: Lose your stuff and tell you, "My bad ... here's a tissue."

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink because they think it's polite.
REAL FRIENDS: Raise an eyebrow and say "Dude, I'll eat what I want" and are the reason you never have food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Ask you what you number is.
REAL FRIENDS: Remind you what you number is when you forget.

FAKE FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk.
REAL FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk alone.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will apologize when you forget lunch money and say that they don't have any left.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Sucks for you" and finally cave after a few hours and then say "You owe me for this."

FAKE FRIENDS: Will smile and say "Don't worry about me" when they forget their lunch money, even if you didn't offer to pay.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Dude, I'm starving, now buy me some food."

FAKE FRIENDS: Will automatically tell you you're beautiful when you ask if something makes you look fat.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Well no dib, Sherlock."

FAKE FRIENDS: Would tell you not to get a face-lift because you already look perfect.
REAL FRIENDS: Would say "Face-lift? I don't think a fork-lift would help."

FAKE FRIENDS: Tell you your zits aren't noticeable.
REAL FRIENDS: Say "Dang, girl! That thing is HUGE!!"

FAKE FRIENDS: Laugh with you.
REAL FRIENDS: Laugh at you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Laugh at all your jokes.
REAL FRIENDS: Tell you your jokes suck.

FAKE FRIENDS: Congratulate you when you get good grades.
REAL FRIENDS: Say "Jeez, you nerd. If you were in stupid classes like me, we'd see each other more."

FAKE FRIENDS: Encourage you not to skip school.
REAL FRIENDS: Photoshop one of their old doctor's notes and use it to spring you from school.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk mean to the person who talks bad about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them out!

FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what's wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will glare at the guy who dumps you and say "Forget him. You're too good for him."
REAL FRIENDS: Kick the guy's butt and threaten to castrate him with a spork if he comes within five miles of you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Crush on your older brother whom you absolutely despise.
REAL FRIENDS: Hate you older brother as much as you do and give him the nick-name "Faggot".

Month one

Mommy

I am only 8 inches long

but I have all my organs.

I love the sound of your voice.

Every time I hear it

I wave my arms and legs.

The sound of your heart beat

is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy

today I learned how to suck my thumb.

If you could see me

you could definitely tell that I am a baby.

I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.

It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy

I'm a boy!!

I hope that makes you happy.

I always want you to be happy.

I don't like it when you cry.

You sound so sad.

It makes me sad too

and I cry with you even though

you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy

my hair is starting to grow.

It is very short and fine

but I will have a lot of it.

I spend a lot of my time exercising.

I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes

and stretch my arms and legs.

I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.

Mommy, he lied to you.

He said that I'm not a baby.

I am a baby Mommy, your baby.

I think and feel.

Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.

I don't like him.

He seems cold and heartless.

Something is intruding my home.

The doctor called it a needle.

Mommy what is it? It burns!

Please make him stop!

I can't get away from it!

Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy

I am okay.

I am in Jesus's arms.

He is holding me.

He told me about abortion.

Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong

I'm that girl

The one that likes books more than boys.

The one who pretends not to be sad, just to make others happy

The one who always wonders what she did wrong

The one who writes to escape

The one who just wants to help

The one that really wants to make a difference

The one that sticks to her values

The one that refuses to believe that this is it

The one that will do anything to make a better tomorrow

The one who won't give in

The one won't give up

-by linguisticsrock, Copy and Paste if you can relate to this

favorite quotes and moments from random stuff

Batman: Under the Red Hood

Jason Todd: Is that what you think this is about? You letting me die? I don't know what clouds your judgment worse, your guilt or your antiquated sense of morality. Bruce, I forgive you for not saving me. But why, why on God's earth... [smashes closet door open, holding Joker] ...is he still alive?!

Joker: [cackles] Gotta give the boy points. He came all the way from the dead to make this shindig happen! So who's got a camera? Ooh! Ooh! Get one of me and the kid first. Then you and me, then the three of us. And then the one with the crowbar.

Jason Todd: [puts gun to Joker's temple] You'll be as quiet as possible, or I'll put one in your lap first.

Joker: Party pooper. No cake for you.

Jason Todd: Ignoring what he's done in the past... Blindly, stupidly disregarding the entire graveyards he's filled, the thousands who have suffered, the friends he's crippled… You know, I thought... I thought I'd be the last person you'd ever let him hurt. If it had been you that he beat to a bloody pulp, if he had taken you from this world, I would've done nothing but search the planet for this pathetic pile of evil, death-worshiping garbage… And then send him off to hell!

Batman: You don't understand. I don't think you'd ever understood.

Jason Todd: What? What, your moral code just won't allow for that? It's too hard to cross that line?

Batman: No. God Almighty, no. It'd be too damned easy. All I've ever wanted to do is kill him. A day doesn't go by I don't think about subjecting him to every horrendous torture he's dealt out to others, and then end him.

Joker: Awwww, so you do think about me.

Batman: But if I do that, if I allow myself to go down into that place, I'll never come back.

Jason Todd: Why? I'm not talking about killing Penguin or Scarecrow or Dent. I'm talking about HIM, just him. And doing it because... because he took me away from you.

Batman: I can't. I'm sorry.

Joker: That is so sweet!

Leon: You wanna die?! There’s easier ways to kill yourself!

Red Hood: Yeah, like yelling at the guy holding the AK-47.

Nightwing: But he is locked up, like a lot locked up. Maybe we should go for a visit. [Looks over to where Bruce was just sitting to see him gone] Could you just once say 'Let's get in the car!' Is that so hard?!

Black Mask: I want this man dead. When I say "dead," I mean seriously dead. Beaten. Broken. His head mounted-on-my-wall kind of dead!

Ms. Li: Understood. We'll be taking further precautions at every transaction-

Black Mask: SCREW THAT! It's time he learns that this is a contact sport! We're going on offense. Rough up his business. Something big, something loud! When he shows up to shut us down, have a party waiting for him... and when I say "party," I actually mean A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE WHO ARE GONNA KILL HIM!

Ms. Li: I figured.

Black Mask: Just being clear.

Nightwing: [to Batman after he uses a rocket to destroy The Red Hood's helicopter] You know what I miss most about running with you? The toys.

Black Mask: I hope you understand the trouble I've gone through to arrange this little get together. A lot of money. A lot of dead meat… I've got a problem and you are absolutely the man who possesses the gifts to take care of that problem. I need you to murder the Red Hood. You think you can handle that?

Joker: [Joker is eating a packet of chips and coughs] May I have some water? [One of Black Mask's agents gets him a glass of water, Joker breaks it over the end of the table and shoves it in the agent's throat, takes his gun and shoots the other agents, Black Mask stares down the barrel of the gun as Joker laughs maniacally] I'm gonna need something to wear and a very big truck.

Black Mask: Sure. Anything else?

Joker: I'll gonna need some guys. Not these guys because, well, they're kind of dead.

Nightwing: You're gonna have to do better than that.

Batman. I did.

[Amazo explodes]

Black Mask: Are you telling me that scumbag stole my guns, AGAIN?

Ms. Li: No, sir, he destroyed them. Blew up the truck, the driver...

Black Mask: Damn it! Of all the... DAMN IT!

Ms. Li: Previously, he was just enlisting anyone under our province to come work for him. Now he just seems to be killing them.

Black Mask: Oh, so we got another Batman? One who doesn't mind the blood?

Ms. Li: No, sir. He's no Batman. He's still taking huge cuts from off the streets. But now, he's eliminating the competition. He's coming after you.

Black Mask: [the Black Mask starts punching out his bodyguards] You wanna tell me why this guy ain't dead?

Ms. Li: We're trying. We sent the Fearsome Hand of Four.

Black Mask: Four? Guess they're gonna need a new name... Why hasn't Batman wiped this little smear off the face of the planet?

Ms. Li: Maybe he doesn't want to. Perhaps he's letting your and the Red Hood war it out. He could be waiting...

Black Mask: To take on the winner? What do you think this is, a tennis tournament?

Ms. Li: I'm just saying...

Black Mask: You're an idiot! And you don't know Batman! He's not letting this lunatic just run wild! He can’t catch him either! … Or it's something else. Can't you feel it? We're stuck in the damn crossfire! [Black Mask notices the a crosshair on him and sees Red Hood waving at him from another building with a rocket launcher] Aw hell… [Black Mask sprints from the room, followed by Ms. Li and his bodyguards]

Red Hood: Wow. He sure can move when he really wants to. [Fires the rocket launcher]

Time masters apprentice by RaeSoul

Danny: The deed was done, so I need to shut up, grow up and get over it!

Suite Life of Zack and Cody

Mr. Mosby: HOW. DO YOU LOSE. A WOMAN?

Cody: You forget to cherish her.

Rebecca: Hi.

Cody: [Stammers]

Rebecca: I'm sorry, I don't speak Vietnamese.

Cody: I meant, do you need some help with your bags?

Rebecca: That's very nice of you but I'm not supposed to talk to strangers.

Cody: Oh it's ok. I'm not that strange except when I get really nervous I can't stop talking which is odd because I'm aware of it and you'd think I'd know better but for some strange reason-

Rebecca: Alrighty then!

Zack: First, we get you an imperial suite.

Maddie: Do you know how much they cost?

Cody: Aww, she thought we're gonna pay.

Zack: Aww, that's sweet. No, we don't pay here, baby.

Ilsa: Get this mutt off of me!

London: (monotone) Stop. Bad dog. No.

(When Zach and London are in the air vent)

London: Man, it stinks in here.

Zack: Sorry.

(When Maddie and Cody are in the air vent)

Maddie: I just wanted to make a little money so a could buy myself a few nice things, because some of us have to work and don't get sent to Paris as a punishment for breaking into Johnny Ripp's dressing room. Man, it stinks in here!

Cody: Sorry.

Zack: (about Maddie) Baby's got it going on! (Makes a shape of an hourglass "body" with his hands)

Carey: She's got what going where?

Zack: I don't know what I am saying.

Carey: We may live in a palace, but we are not royalty.

Zack: I think you're a queen, Mommy.

Carey: Aww… Put a sock in it.

Zack: (about Maddie) What is she doing here?!

Maddie: Saving your butt before I kick it.

Zack: Is that a threat or a promise?

Cody: Did you see how those flowers made Mom smile?

Zack: Yeah, it's great. If she has a boyfriend, she'll be so busy being all girly with him, she'll leave us alone!

Cody: And she'll be happy...

Zack: And we'd be able to play that video game!

Cody: And she'll be happy.

Zack: And we won't have to make our beds!

Cody: And she'll be HAPPY!

Zack : You're so selfish! Can't you think of anything besides mom's happiness?

Zack: Mom, guess what? We're gonna be on TV!

Carey: What did you set on fire?!

Mr. Moseby: Esteban, I need you.

Esteban: When I am good and ready!

Mr. Moseby: WHAT did you say?

Esteban: Now I am good and ready!

London: I don't like this tangerine!

Maddie: No, that is a Tam-bo-rine! A tangerine is what the audience is gonna throw at you!

Max: Will you guys stop fighting?

Cody: We are not fighting, we are having a creative discussion.

Zack: We are too fighting.

Cody: Creative discussion!

Zack: Fight!

Cody: Discussion!

Max: I can't believe you guys are fighting about if you're having a fight!

Max: Everyone knows nothing rhymes with orange.

Tapeworm: Oh yeah? What about "snorange"?

Max: Thank you, Dr. Seuss.

Tapeworm: What do we do? We're next, and Zack and Cody still aren't here.

Max: We'll do what all great rock stars do.

Tapeworm: Trash a hotel room?

Carey: Did I ever tell you about when I was in my first band?

Zack: Yes.

Carey: And how we couldn't work together and eventually broke up?

Zack: Yes. And then your boyfriend stole your car and ran off with your best friend...

Carey: Yeah, yeah, okay. And what did we learn from that story?

Zack: You need to pick better men?

Carey: Cody, do you have anything to say to your brother?

Cody: [to Zack] I'm sorry I flicked flour in your face.

Carey: Zack?

Zack: [to Cody] I'm sorry you're my brother.

Carey: [sternly] Zack.

Zack: I'm sorry I worked you like a pack mule. I was only thinking about the money. Lots and lots of money, bag loads of money-!

Carey: Zack!

Zack: Sorry.

The Abused by KodiakWolfe13

Danny [very tired: Where are you going?

Batman: I'm going to the Watchtower and you're coming with me.

Danny [squeaking: WHAT?!

Batman [kneeling down to Danny's height: I'll be right there. You have no need to worry. Trust me. They won't be able to hurt you. None of them can beat me. (Me: We all know it's true XD)

Danny: But you can't leave me!

Batman: I won't. I'll be right there.

At the Watchtower

Superman: Well, where's the special kid?

Batman[sights: Danny, please come out.

Danny [hiding in Batman's cloak] shook his head.

Nightwing: Danny?

Batman dragged Danny out of his cloak. Before he could warn them...

Flash aka Wally: Hiya-

Danny punched him and hid behind Batman again.

Wally: What the heck?

Superman: Bruce, what's with the kid?

Batman tried to answer but most people cut him off.
Danny starts crying in Batman's leg.

Batman [very ticked off: ENOUGH!

Everybody shuts their moths. Bats picks Danny up and placed him on his hip. (Me: Go Daddy-Bats!!!!)

Batman [still ticked off: Everyone is to see that file but speak none of it with Danny in the room, understood?

They all read the file.

Danny: I'm sorry...

Wally: It's ok.

Hawkman: How long have you had him?

Batman: A month.

Black Canary: How did we not hear this?

Batman: I shielded him from the media.

[How on earth did he do that? He had frikking stalkers in both forms.]

[Alarm goes off.]

Batman[sights: Danny, can you stay here while I go somewhere?

Danny: NO! You promised you'd stay!

Batman: There's a break in I need to go to. I'll only be gone a little while.

Danny didn't let go.

Batman: I need to go.

Batman: You don't even have to hang out with anyone. Just let one person watch you.

Danny ran and hid behind Nightwing.

Batman began to leave.

Danny: WAIT!

Batman turned around.

Danny: Can I...?

Batman nodded.

Phantom became Fenton/Wayne.

Most of the League groaned.

Red Arrow: Does he adopt every black haired, blue eyed kid around?

Wally: Uh, kid, where'd you get those?

Danny: My backpack.

Wally: You own poker chips?

Danny nodded: Wanna play?

Wally: Does Batman know about this?

Danny: Yeah, as long as I don't gamble, he's fine with it. So, wanna play?

Wally: Uh, sure...

Danny: Hi Batman!

Batman: What happened?

Green Arrow: Blackjack happened.

Hal: The kid won every single time.

Wally: I think he was cheating.

Batman smirked: Were you cheating?

Danny giggled: Maybe.

Hal stuttered: H-how?

Batman: While placing the first set of cards down, Danny ever so slightly bends the card to see the hidden number. Therefore he can easily find out how to get to twenty-one. He did it to Alfred for and hour.

Danny smirked evilly: I was so obvious about it too. You guys don't deserve to win.

Batman walked away, Danny in his arms.

Superman: What's going on in here?

Don't know who: Never, ever, play Blackjack with Bats kid. Ever.

Me: That was just stuff from chapter one and two. If you liked it, go check out the story and it's sequel!!

Some story I don't know the name or auteur of

[Sam and Tucker yelling at each other]

Danny: Sheesh, could you stop yelling? I do have enhanced hearing, you know.

Tucker[dead-panned]: Says the guy with a voice so loud, it can crush entire buildings.

Sam: Apply cold water to the area of burn.

Ghostly Murder by Clockwork's Apprentice

Sam: I...I spoke to my grandmother yesterday.

Danny:What-ehem... why?

Sam:Well she somehow figured out that we weren't in Hawaii... and she called to tell me that...and, look [sigh] I told her we did run away...

Danny: What, why?!

Sam: Well for starters, she was convinced that you and I run off to get married and that Tucker was just coming along for the ride. I told her we weren't doing anything like that- and... well, to get to the point, I didn't tell where we are, BUT she... Danny, she's happy for us.

Danny [deadpan: So, because I was the first one to go missing, I'm the serial killer? Gotta love Amity Police Forces.