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Okay, guys. Even though I'm sure very few will vote, please vote.

Please, for the love of God, some other god, or he whom nobody knows, never:

1) bug me to read your story; I HATE it when people ask me more than once to read their story. I will read it IF I WANT TO. You cannot force me into doing something I don't want to. If you make an attempt, I will block you. This is only if you consistently bug me to read it.

2) ask me in the review section when the next chapter of a story will come out. I will either block you or delete your comment. The review section is for REVIEWS. The temperature at which my blood boils in this event is intensified when that's the only thing that person has to say. Why would you waste your time asking me that? Take a second and think about it. The people most likely to ask this in the review section are anonymous reviewers, since that's the only way they can ask. Since they don't have accounts (which I encourage everyone to get), I can't send a PM. I can only reply in the latest chapter or the next chapter I upload. Why would I take time to edit the chapter's document to answer this idiotic question? That leaves me with answering in the next chapter. But how can I answer a now obsolete question that shouldn't have been asked in the first place? Simple: "Fuck you." As a matter of fact, don't even ask me in a PM. My experience with this situation has led to disappointment and frustration, which further delays chapters. I will tell you off for doing something so idiotic, unless you're someone I happen to really, really like. I really don't care if you feel offended. You should know better than to ask in the first place.

Policies (This is basically an abridged version of the above.):

1) Do not ask when the next chapter will come out. You will be blocked. Any anonymous reviewers who ask will have their comment removed.

more coming...

Story preferences: I prefer to read stories that are legible. I know that sounds stupid, because that's totally obvious. But seriously, have you seen some of the stories here? Some people expect others to be able to read their story when it's full of awkward sentence structure, sentence fragments, mis-spellings, and horrendous grammar and punctuation. Then some are disappointed by the low number of reviews they receive. I think some people don't understand this, but the things I listed are turn offs for readers. Nobody wants to decipher broken english (unless that's the purpose of the story; hmm... interesting idea...), so if it comes to that, they just give up on the story, resulting in less reviews. There. Now you can't be surprised.

I'm not to picky with what stories are, so long as I have a basic understanding of the property it's based on. I'll read pretty much anything, so long as it's legible. I don't care if it's a lemon, slash, femslash, or over-the-top violent. I can handle anything.

Things that piss me off: Irate Gamer, the basketball team at school (they never shut up and have a multitude of idiotic catchphrases), when somebody asks me the same thing over and over especially when it's about an academic subject, iOS games (I have yet to find an app that I didn't get bored of after five minutes.), the fact that third party developers put zero effort into games on the Wii, Twilight and the obsessive fans, Justin Bieber fangirls, Angry Birds (seriously, is the game THAT good?), trolls.

Things that I love: Video games, Nintendo, Sony

Favorite game: Don't make me choose!!!

Worst Game I've played a physical copy off (no emulators): Transformers: Dark of the Moon on 3DS

Favorite Console: PS3

Stuff I watch: Phineas and Ferb, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Death Note, One Piece, Keroro Gunsou

Life After the Jump

Characters

Blu: The bird that saved Jewel's life. He is incredibly shy around her, but can get serious when the situation asks it of him. He'll do anything for Jewel, so long as it has nothing to do with making eggs. He's afraid to live in the jungle, but eventually gets over that fear with the help of his friends. Deep down, he really wants to mate with Jewel, but his fears and principles prevent him from doing so. He also doubts everyone's claim that she loves him.

Jewel: Blu's love interest, though he denies it. She loves Blu back, but just doesn't entirely know how to express this directly. She quickly learned how to read and write from Blu and uses Facebook to chat with Ashley and Sunny. She gets shy when Blu compliments her. When she's in heat, she will do anything to satisfy her lust.

Rafael: Blu will get advice from him as a last resort, only because of his fear of Rafael's kids. He does his best to give Blu advice when needed, but the advice usually ends up backfiring on Blu.

Eva: Rafael's mate. She is to Jewel as what Rafael is to Blu. She'll give Jewel advice on how to woo Blu, but her approach to such situations is the opposite of Rafael's. Jewel requests that she stop her if she tries to force Blu to mate with her.

Scarla (OC): A female scarlet macaw Blu meets on his third outing into the jungle. She serves as Blu's teacher for jungle survival. She's also Blu's first choice as a source for help or advice. She is the first one Blu is able to admit to that he loves Jewel. She tries to cheer him up even when Jewel can't.

Antonio (OC): Scarla's boyfriend. He is honored to meet Blu, since he saved his friends in the plane breakout. He is similar to Blu in the fact that he's shy, especially when it comes to going out with Scarla. He's able to talk to her casually, but when it's mentioned that they're on a date, he freezes up.

Nico and Pedro: Best friends who own and run The Branch. When they give Blu advice, they give him advice that they know will get him into his own idea of trouble, just for their own amusement. Nico is smooth-talking and layed back, while Pedro is more wild. Nothing can break them up.

Linda: Blu's lifelong friend and caretaker. She cares for Blu's happiness and is ready to release him into the wild when it's time.

Tulio: He and Linda are dating. He awaits the day that Blu and Jewel mate and begin to pave the road to the repopulation of their species. If only he knew it wasn't that simple...

What I would like to write:

A sequel to "Life After the Jump" focused on Blu and Jewel's chicks.

If possible, a Zelda fanfic, with my own original story. But seriously, do you think I could achieve the same creative quality as a development team at Nintendo?! It would probably operate on Encyclopedia Dramatica's "In (1), (2); so Link must (3). He must collect three (4) to get the (5). However, (6). So Link must do moar work to collect (7). He then gets the (8) sword, which he uses to defeat (9). However, it did not end here, as he still had to (10)." Principle.

I'm considering doing an Ocarina of Time novelization.

Infamous novelization? If I can come up with enough lines during fights and lines that differ from the cutscenes.

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon (Dark/Time) novelization. I was very disappointed by Nintendo's decision not to make a full series out of that. Three anime specials? WTF?

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic story; The main characters will be background ponies.

South Park story

A sad My Little Pony story; I don't want to give away details for fear that someone will take it.

"Love and Tolerance"; It'll probably be the most controversial thing I ever write, should I choose to do so.

"EoD" I don't want to reveal the full title, because I don't want anybody to take the idea.