I've been diagnosed with OCD (Obbsessive Cullen Disorder), OJD (Obsessive Jasper Disorder), OVD (Obbsessive Vampire Disorder), and OMCD (Obsessive Mythical Creatures Disorder).

Twilight - teaches us that when we fall in love with vampires, we're in some pretty deep shit.

You think your life sucks? Well, I'm in love with a 165 year old, non-existent vampire named JASPER HALE

Screw being a princess...i wanna be a vampire

"Join the Vampires; we have Jasper Whitlock Cullen Hale." Crap, that's a lot of last names.

A Twilight Life in Letters

A - Alice Cullen

B - Bella Swan

C - Charlie Swan

D - Dr. Carlisle Cullen

E - Edward Cullen

F -

G -

H -

I -

J - Jasper Whitlock

K -

L -

M -

N - Nessie

O -

P -

Q -

R - Renee

S - Shape-shifter

T - The Volturi

U -

V - Vampires

W - Wolves

X -

Y - Yellow Posrche 9/11 Turbo

Z -

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

Bella Cullen: Luckier That You since 1987

The Holy Words Of Twilight

Our Edward,

Who art in Forks,

Hallowed be thy sparkles.

Thy Volvo comes,

thy will be fast,

On Earth as it is in the meadow.

Give you this day,

our daily blood;

Forgive us our heartbeats

As we worship Carlisle for giving you life.

Lead us into temptation,

Deliver us to you,

For thine is the vampire,

The music and the hotness,

For ever and ever,

Ed-men

10 Ways to Annoy Jasper Hale:

10. Beg him not to eat you.

9. Inform him that he seems to be the “depressed” Cullen.

8. Go up to him, look him in the eye and ask if he is hungry.

7. Spell his name with two “a”’s (Jaspar) and call him JasparCullen. When he objects, saying his name is Jasper Hale, wave your hand at him and tell him all that blood must havegone to his brain.

6. Tell him only girls feel emotions. Then giggle and run away.

5. Dress up in a cape and fangs and leap out in front of him when he is least expecting it, proclaiming you have come to suck his blood.

4. Send out waves of lust and see how he reacts.

3. When he gets too close make your fingers into the sign of the cross and cry, “The power of Christ compels you!”.

2. Splatter red paint all over his and Alice’s room and videotape his reaction.

And the Number One way to annoy Jasper Hale?

1. Whenever he says anything, snap to attention, shout “Sir, yes sir!” and salute, army style.

I HAVE OBSESSIVE JASPER DISORDER!

I'll stαч up tιll TШILIGHT

To sєє thє NΣW MOON

And ιf I'm luckч

I'll sєє thє ΣCLIPSΣ

At BЯΣΛKING DΛWN

And thє wholє tιmє I'm sιttιng with чou

Undєr thє MIDNIGHT SUN

10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen:

10. Sing “Discovery Channel” by the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.

9. Hotwire his Volvo and take it on a joyride.

8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically pedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.

7. Ask how Tanya is.

6. End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”

5. Call him Romeo both behind his back and to his face.

4. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”

3. Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.

2. Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg himnot to go, not again.

And the Number One way to annoy Edward Cullen?

1. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” by Madonna

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast

TWILIGHT FANS: would rather rely on Alice for future predictions

NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!

TWILIGHT FANS: say OH MY JASPER!! (OMJ)

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings

TWILIGHT FANS: know that Jasper already can sense their feelings without saying a word

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you!

TWILIGHT FANS: say shut up or i'll get Jasper to kill you!

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that vampires are all like Dracula

TWILIGHT FANS: know A LOT better and absolutely love the Cullen vampires

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!

TWILIGHT FANS: when being chased yell JASPER SAVE ME!!

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms

TWILIGHT FANS: know that the Cullens might be playing baseball somewhere and Emmett was just at bat ; )

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation

TWILIGHT FANS: would go directly to FORKS WASHINGTON

NORMAL PEOPLE: dont have this on there profile

TWILIGHT FANS: MUST have this on there profile

10 Ways to Annoy Carlisle Cullen:

10. Tell him only to address you in a cute English accent.

9. Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the “s”. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the “q” is silent.

8. Ask if blondes really do have more fun.

7. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift on the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER.

6. Instead of telling him to “get lost” in an argument, tell him to swim to France.

5. When he annoys you, respond with “times have changed, old man”.

4. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is – what does he do in a fight? Love thy enemy to death?

3. Leap out from behind the desk in his study when he isn’t expecting it and spray him with Holy Water.

2.Call him McSteamy or McDreamy.

And the Number One way to annoy Carlisle Cullen?

1. Run around the Emergency Room screaming “I’ve been bitten! I’ve been bitten!”

FAVOUTIE SPORTS - Hunting...football...BASEBALL...VAMPIRE STYLE!!