Darkness To Lies
Author has written 6 stories for Digimon, Divergent Trilogy, Maximum Ride, Throne of Glass series, and Percy Jackson and the Olympians. gender: female Likes: reading, writing, listening to music, and doing archery Dislikes: anyone who thinks they're better than everyone. books read: Holes (read in 2nd grade), Harry Potter (books 1-4 working on book 5), and Legend of The Guardians; The Owl's of Ga'Hoole (books 1-13), Wolves of The Beyond (all books), Witch and Wizard, Divergent trilogy, The Darkest Minds trilogy, Throne of Glass, Crown of Midnight favorite movies: Harry Potter (all the movies), Legend of The Guardians; The Owl's of Ga'Hoole, Ice Age (all the movies), G I Joe, G I Joe: Retaliation, Percy Jackson: The Lightning Thief, The Santa Clause (all the movies), Scooby Doo (all the movies), Avatar The Last Airbender, Hotel for Dogs, Big Time Movie, Ben 10 (all the movies), The Avengers, Iron Man, Catching Fire, Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, Thor, Star Wars (all movies), Scream movies, Poltergeist, Childsplay movies, Divergent, Insurgent, and Beverly Hills Chihuahua (all the movies). tv shows: Pokemon, Digimon, Beyblade, Avatar The Last Airbender, The Legend of Kora, Ben 10, Ben 10 Alien Force, Ben 10 Ulitimate Alien, Pawn Stars, Storage Wars, NCIS, Criminal Minds, The Legend of The Seeker, Bakugan, Scream TV show, Supernatural, Charmed, and Smallville. i got bored and started looking at the profile for music-speaks-to-me and this is what i found. 30 things to do in an elevator! 1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead while muttering: "Shut up, admit, all of you just shut UP!" 2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly. 3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there." 4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down. 5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. 7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at the bottom. 9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!" 10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, bleeped motion sickness!" 11. Meow occasionally. 12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends. 13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. 14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator. 15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to the other passengers 'through' it. 16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?" 17. Say "Ding!" at each floor. 18. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push the red buttons. 19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. 20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your 'personal space.' 21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." 22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 23. Wear 'X-Ray Specs' and leer suggestively at other passengers. 24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on. 25. Make farm animal noises 26. Start talking to the wall 27. Carry a stuffed animal with you and talk to it 28. Carry a small object and start petting it while saying "My precious." in a demonic voice then laugh like a maniac 29. When one person is on ask them if they want to pet your cat and then purr at them. 30. Rip your clothes and stumble on to the elevator and tell them that you just escaped from the mental ward and then laugh like a maniac. 32. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 34. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. 35. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 36. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 37. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" 38. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" 39. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 40. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers. 41. Swat at flies that don't exist. 42. Call out "Group hug" then enforce it. If… If FanFiction.net is your way of escaping reality and the rest of the boring people in the world and truly "unleashing your imagination" then paste this in your profile 98 percent of the Internet population has a Myspace. If you are part of the 2 percent that can resist stupid fads, copy this into your profile. 92 percent of American teens would die if Orlando Bloom told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your profile. Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't copy this into your profile. If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If Justin Bieber was about to jump off a cliff, 95% of girls would be crying their eyes out, 2% would be at the bottom of the cliff with snacks, lawn chairs and binoculars, and another 2% would be ready to push him off. Copy and paste this to your profile if you would be the 1% digging a hole at the bottom of the cliff so he'd fall longer. If you think about a virtual character all day long, or even dream of one, paste this on your profile. If you are against bullying and cruelty, paste this on your profile. If you invent your own curse words, copy and paste this onto your profile, you dumberheads! If you love chocolate, paste this on your profile. If you're insane, paste this on your profile. If you can't bear to see someone cry, paste this on your profile. If you hate being called a loser, paste this on your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If you get really ticked off when there is FINALLY a new fanfic on your favourite fandom...and it's in a foreign language *rage face, copy and paste this into your profile! If you'd never flame anybody ever because you know how you'd feel if you got that message, copy and paste this into your profile! If you think that people who make "if you think that blanket blanket blank, copy and paste this into your profiles are stupid, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you read this and do not paste it into your profile, I will investigate you and find out who you are. Then I will tell the police about you because I will assume you are a zombie. If you are obsessed with Fanfiction, copy this into your profile. If you have ever clicked on something, read it, gone back, and then clicked on it again because you suffered short-term memory loss, copy and paste! If you respond/talk to your characters, copy this to your- SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU! I'M NOT WRITING YOUR STORY RIGHT NOW!- profile. Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.(3 books a year? Is that some kind of joke? Perhaps a typo; and they really mean "3 books a WEEK"? Or DAY?) If you hate (or close to hate if you're a non-hater) those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy this onto your profile. (LONG LIVE PLUTO!) If you despise those people who think their very existence gives them the right to insult you, copy and paste this to show them that they don't! If most of the guys in your class are morons, copy and paste this to show you want to cart them to a deserted island! If your school should be a soap opera/comedy series/drama/sitcom, copy and paste and hope a TV station comes to film at your school! If you love animals, copy and paste this to show you love fur, feathers, scales, and shells! If you LOVE to read, and read often, copy and paste this! If you face palm a lot, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you're sick of people who take religion WAAY too seriously, copy and paste this! If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If you actually take the time to read other people's profiles, put this in yours. If you have laughed so hard that you couldn't breathe and ended up laughing silently while half crying due to lack of air copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever done something painful and your first thought is "Must make a copy and paste on my fanfic profile about this", copy and paste this into your profile! IF YOU LOVE CAPS LOCK, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! If you just wasted time in your life you'll never get back by reading this profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile. If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile. If you want to push a person of a cliff right now but that person happens to not exist, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever wanted an inanimate object to go die copy and paste this into your profile. (Ah yes. my sleeping bag when it won't fit inside my duffel bag) If you have ever yelled at an inanimate object copy and paste this into your profile. (That too) If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it. (Eays!) If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile. Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you would be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF! (Who the heck are Abercrombie and Fitch?!) If you know someone that should be hit by a bus copy and paste this to your profile. (Quite a lot of people actually) If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile. If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever wished you could go into a book, movie or TV and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. (I've wanted to go into all three about every day since I discovered they existed) If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile. (I certainly hope so) If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. (Afterwards, my friends inched away from me and got amnesia apparently) If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile. If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever wished you could go into any fictional world and fight alongside your favourite characters copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile. If, during a quiet moment, you suddenly remember something funny and randomly bust out laughing, copy and paste this into your profile. If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless (but fun), and you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever slapped and/or banged your head against a table for no reason, copy this to your profile. If you hate girly-girls or people who think that they are everything, copy and paste this into your profile. If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have music in your soul copy and paste this into your profile. If you feel the need to read through someone's profile even when you don't know them, copy and paste this into your profile. If you just read that line above this one and sat there thinking, "Who the hell are Abercrombie and Fitch?" copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love Fanfiction.net, copy and paste this into your profile. If you get easily obsessed copy this to your profile. If you believe all your favourite anime characters are indeed alive in their own dimension, copy and paste this into your profile. Less than 1 percent of teenagers don't use make-up. Are you one of those who don't? BE PROUD AND GLUE THIS THING IN YOUR PROFILE! 98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile. If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile. If you like being utterly random copy and paste this on your profile If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If you walk and trip or stumble because your too busy reading a book copy and paste this into your profile If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile If you have ever yelled at the book you were reading because the characters did something stupid post this on your profile. If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile If Fanfiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy this to your profile. If you have ever started laughing as reading a story, you look up, and people around you look at you like you're crazy, copy and paste this into your profile. 98 of the internet population have a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile. If you don't think 13 is unlucky, paste this on your profile. If you've ever fallen madly in love with a cartoon/anime character, copy and paste this to your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE, it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever gotten so completely side-tracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile. If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. (Shh guys I'm trying think here) If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. (Please don't tell my parents) If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. (It’s not zoning out its being away with my imaginary friends and those stupid voices) If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. (I want to slap most people about twice a day) If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile. If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.(WHO TOLD YOU THIS?!?! WHO RATTED ME OUT?!?!) If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. (No I have died I'm writing this from beyond the grave(!)) If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.(Mostly it's in my head, then write it down, then hit myself for forgetting.) If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile 98 percent of teens can walk without running into walls. If you're in the 2 percent that can't, post this in your profile. If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer. If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste things, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you find yourself making fanfictions of other fanfictions in your head, post this in your profile. (I thought I was the only one and can you do an AU of a Fanfiction or an AU of an AU?) If you think the world would be easier if everyone was on fanfiction.net because--judging from the copy-paste things in the profiles--everyone dares to be different and doesn't care what people think, post this in your profile. If your a fangirl/boy and proud of it, copy this into your profile If you have a story in your head, copy and paste this into your profile. If you like anime or manga, copy and paste this in your profile. If you are an expert at doing absolutely nothing for hours on end, paste this into your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever walked into a wall because you were looking sideways at a friend, copy this into your profile If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile. (It’s only weird when the TV responds) If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile If you are... calling me FAKE won't make you REAL, calling me DUMB won't make you SMART, calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG, calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY, calling me MEAN won't make you NICE, calling me WEIRD won't make you COOL, calling me NERDY won't make you POPULAR, calling me GAY won't make you STRAIGHT ...just something for you to remember, copy and paste to your profile to show how strong you are inside and that people cannot break you so easily If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever just wanted to slap someone, copy this onto your profile. If you’re against child abuse copy and paste onto Ur profile If you have ever fallen down the stairs, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile. I'm bored... If your bored, then copy and paste this to your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this to your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you said it, copy and paste this to your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever wished you could live in a story, copy and paste this to your profile. If you ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one to your profile. (I ask a million a day) If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile. If you should actually be doing homework right now, copy this to your profile. If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile. If you love these copy and paste things, even though they aren't that cool to begin with, copy this into your profile. If you have too many of these copy-and-paste things in your profile and don't care who dislikes it, copy this into your profile. If you have music in your soul, post this into your profile If you're quiet a lot but you're ALSO really loud, copy this into your profile. If you're weird, copy this into your profile. If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because you’re a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, copy and paste this into your profile If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!!! If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this into your profile If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever slapped yourself on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile. If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy this into your profile. If you are insane, copy this into your profile. If you wish that fictional characters was real, copy and paste this to your profile. 90 of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed...If you are one of the 10 that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your Profile. If you've ever wanted to give a movie or show character a flyingtacklehug, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. If you ask stupid questions just to annoy other people, copy this into your profile If you have your own little world copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile If you love random things, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think people labelling other people (i.e. Goth, prep) is just freaking stupid, copy paste this into your profile If you are in la la land most of the time copy this onto your profile. If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy this to your profile If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile If you have become obsessed with Fanfiction, please copy and paste this on your profile. Copy and paste this on your profile if you've wondered why something wasn't working until you realized that it wasn't plugged in. If you have fallen out of your chair trying to pick something up then copy and paste this. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile If you can't live without music copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile. If you are obsessed with Fanfiction, copy this into your profile I hate pop-ups. If you hate all the ads popping up while you're trying to read some story, copy this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste things, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you love Fanfiction.net, copy and paste this into your profile. If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile. 95% of teens would be crying if Justin Bieber was on a 100 ft. tall building about to jump. If you are some of the 5% who brought popcorn and friends, copy and paste this to your profile If Joe Jonas was about to jump off the Eiffel Tower 95% of all the girls in the world would die. Would you be one of the 5% with popcorn yelling "do a flip!"? If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you like being utterly random copy and paste this on your profile If you have ever laughed so hard you choked, hyperventilated, had your side’s cramp or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile If Justin Bieber shaved his head bald, 95% of girls would cry. Copy and paste this if you are the 5% running up and down the street screaming YES!!!!!!!!!!!! 98% of Girls would cry if Justin Bieber disappeared off the face of the Earth. Post this on your page if you are one of the 2% that would run around the house screaming: "Yay! I'll never have to hear his irritating voice ever again!" 98% of the girls in the world would die if Robert Pattinson was kidnapped. 1.9% of them would be laughing their socks off. 0.1% of them would be snickering and poking their new hostage with a stick. I would be in the 0.1% category!!! If you think Edward Cullen is nothing more than a gay sparkly vampire, copy and paste this onto your profile. 90 percent of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a 6 story building. Copy and paste this if you'd be one of the 10 percent yelling jump bitch!!! Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin, The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Empress Caroline of Tamaran, monkyluvr, Darth KenObi-Wan, JediWolfMaster,EwanLuvr4Ever, xXJedi Knight BlazeXx, JaneVolturi, LOSTSOULOFTHEUNDERWORLD, DarkAngel620, Dithinus, Glitterthorn, PinkFuzzBall, Eien no Akumu, COOKIEMONSTER0077, Angel.of.Guilt, Lucy Ashley from Fairy Tail, Blueninjamanga22, GoldenRoseTanya, Queen Layla, A.D.T.H., Secret You see a kid abusing a puppy with a baseball bat. 97% of people would yell "STOP!" 2% of them would cheer, 1% of them would take the baseball bat and hit the kid then take the puppy to the Vet. Post this on you profile if you are that 1%... It isn't my fault that that boy died! I swear I wasn't trying to break his neck with the bat! 98 percent of authors confuse "you're" and "your". If YOU'RE one of the 2 percent who knows how to tell them apart, copy and paste this into YOUR profile They leave you...when they don't need you.. Was this all our friendship was worth? You say you cared about me but were you lying? Were you using me all this time? Was this your way of saying "I don't need you anymore"? Why did you try to become my friend if you were going to end up leaving me? Did you really hate me that much? Did you become friends with me to end up hurting me? I think so since you never stood by my side again. Did you hold a grudge against me? Did you? I didn't think you would ever but I was wrong. Did you become friends with me to leave me alone? I bet you did, because that already happened. Alone again, alone to die slowly with this heartache that won't stop? I won't show you though because that means that you won. I won't show you that side of me that is slowly dying, and crying inside. I won't show you that weak, pathetic side, so I won't worry those who still love me. To show that I am no longer weak, and no longer need you by my side. Copy and paste this to your Bio if you want to show that even though you maybe got left alone, you won't show the weakness, won't show the loneliness in your heart that you won't let them win. A gun pointed at a girl, She stay waiting for the end of her life with widen eyes, But the bullet never come because, Her best friend jump in front of her. If you'd done the same thing for your best friend post it on you profile. So many girls pretend they're something they're not just to fit in. If you're not one of those girls copy and paste this into your profile. Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MPORTANT- Teenage girls who are NOT in love with Edward Cullen/ Robert Pattison are fast becoming an endangered species. If you are part of this endangered species, copy and paste this in your profile. :D If you think that girls are equals to boys, copy and paste this on your profile. If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile. 92 percent of American teenagers would die if American eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile. If Justin Bieber was about to jump off a cliff, 97% of girls would be crying their eyes out and screaming "DON'T DO IT!!!" But I would be a part of the other 3% that would be screaming and jumping on the couch with excitement with a bowl of popcorn at hand saying "JUMP JUMP JUMP!!!" Copy and paste this onto your profile if you are that 3%. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile 1F Y0U C4N UND3R574ND 7H15 M355463 C0PY 17 4ND P4573 17 1N70 Y0UR PR0F1L3 Olny fteefin prenect of poelpe can raed this. If you are one fo taht prenect, cpoy and pstae tihs itno yuor porflie If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.(What?!?!?!?!? I'm a review junkie...) Even when you can’t see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in GOD, put this in your profile. If your one of those people who can literally stay on the computer for hours on in if only you weren't forced to get off, then copy and paste this on your profile. (I've gone for hours on my laptop! It's so easy to lose track of time. Tee hee! :3) If you are sick of people talking about Twilight, copy this into your profile. "I DON'T HATE JUSTIN BIEBER. I JUST DON'T THINK HE'S ALL THAT GREAT." If you wish you could tell all the haters and fans this when they try to place you in a category, copy and paste this to your profile. If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. (Hey, there might not be too many now, in a few years...) If you are addicted to Fan-Fiction, copy this If you read this Copy and Paste, Copy and Paste it on your profile and add your name on the list: CHAMP 15, CHARZ456, THE SMART ONE 64, MARIYOSHBOWSFAN, Blossom (AKA Mariogirl133) Random Dawn 14 -Champ 15, Amazing-Thalia-Grace, secret Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile (Three books a year? Please! I read at least 20 a year. No joke. XD) Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile. If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself copy this into your profile. If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. (The irony...) Don't point a finger at anyone, cause 3 more are pointing back at you. Try pointing your finger and 3 of your fingers are pointing back at you. Now you are laughing cause you tried this and look stupid for pointing your finger at a wall. If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile(ironic, huh?) If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could have clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile If you cried or almost did during/after reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, copy this to your profile If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile (commercials for me...) Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this into your profile(said word was 'why'. I know, I'm ashamed...) If you love FANFICTION.NET, add your name and copy and paste this into your profile. Rainstorm007, Littlewhisker... Snowfeather,Hollyleaf,Moonfeather, SoujaGurl, Lily Angel of Chaos, YumiStar, Sparklespepper, Bakura-Kun98, Amazing-Thalia-Grace, secret If Fanfiction is your way of escaping reality and the rest of the boring people in the world and truly "unleashing your imagination" then paste this in your profile and add your name: Emerald Princess 14, StardustFromThePlanetGallifrey, NarnianLady, KingdomHeartsNerd, Lady Alice101, Lmb111514, Amazing-Thalia-Grace, secret If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you have ever had a crush on a book character copy this to your profile Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?" If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. (My friends and family think I am weird 4 this one) If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile If you are obsessed with Fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you have ever read a 2,500 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile, and add your name to the list, Razzledazzy, EvilGeniusBookWorm13, Lady Alice101, Lmb111514, Amazing-Thalia-Grace, secret 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, LiveForInsanity, Billvy, Sheena Is A Punk Rocker, Bellawhitlock51, dragonsdeathangel, Razzledazzy, EvilGeniusBookWorm13, Lady Alice101, Lmb111514, Amazing-Thalia-Grace, secret If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, zElDaPhAnToM-bLiNdBaNdIt-RaVeN, Firehawk, Rainfire, Snowfur, Firestar's Gal, Amberstar-Leader of SkyClan, Liza Taylor, Spiritpelt, Swiftpaw of WindClan, rainstorm(mosspath gets really annoyed)mosspath(cos the reviews and etc come 2 MY email!), Emberheart0,Mudfur, Obzezzed, Dragonclaw11, lover-of-novels-aka-Kass247, Lmb111514, Amazing-Thalia-Grace, secret If you are one of the few middle/high school girls who haven't given in to makeup, copy/paste this on their page. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. (This should be everyone!) If you think that people who don't like PJO are crazy/stupid/losers, copy this into your profile. If you think Hades is cool, copy and paste this to your profile If you've ever randomly fallen out of your chair, copy this into your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" things, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer] TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR IS SANG TO THE SAME TUNE AS THE ALPHABET...copy this onto your profile if you just sang it in your head to see if its true. If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile If Orlando Bloom said to stop breathing, 99 percent of girls currently on the face of the Earth would be dead right now. Put this on your profile if you'd be the 1 percent still alive and laughing. I do not do drugs. I do sugar. If you're someone who does sugar, copy this into your profile. if you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever yelled at an inanimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever had a conversation with yourself, copy this to your profile. If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever shouted out the first thing that comes to mind, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever shouted out random thing and then gotten glared at copy and paste this to your profile. 98 percent of teenagers drink or have been around alcohol, put this in your profile if you like MUFFINS! If you can read this, you are blessed. Over two million people could not finish this. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty Uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the Olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl Mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed Ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you could read this, copy and put it in your profile! If you are against animal abuse, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: RogueWarrior869, BlackWolfHowling, Bubble Blower, roughdiamond5, Green.Winged.Mistress, MoonStarWithWings, Yourcool79, Someone aka Me, Angelauthor14, James018, TheDeadOne28, Amazing-Thalia-Grace, secret, Scarlet Nightshadow, Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't. This is this cat Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is retard cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cats This is second’s cat Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on. Define 'normal' You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile. Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! I asked Jesus, "How much do you love me?" Jesus replied, "This much", and stretched his arms on the cross and died for me. If you love Jesus, put this on your profile. 97% WON'T do it. Only 3% will stand up for him. This is really sweet... When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind. When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply. When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around. When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all. When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying. When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be here’s forever. When a girl wants to see you every day, she wants to be pampered. When a girl says "I love you." she means it. When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that. Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person. Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him. The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him. The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.". If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life. If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you. Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you. Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere. So get ready for the biggest shock of your life. If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity. Repost this to your profile, and spare yourself the emotional stress. If you read it, review it. Every author here, regardless of skill, aim, story type, or grammar is looking for feedback from his or her works. If you like it, tell them why. If you don't like it, tell them why. And no author is looking for flamers to drop them a pointless 'u suck' review. If you believe in these tenets, copy and paste it into your profile. Spread the love. Spread the reviews. I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Secret, PLEASE READ THIS! I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday. I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to teach me a lesson. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear. We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male. Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost BEST FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions. FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive. BEST FRIENDS: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance. FRIENDS: Will watch my pets when I go away. BEST FRIENDS: Won't let me go away. FRIENDS: Will help me up when I fall down. BEST FRIENDS: Will point and laugh because she tripped me. FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me. BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with me. FRIENDS: Ask me for my number. BEST FRIENDS: Ask me for her number. FRIENDS: Hide me from the cops. BEST FRIENDS: Are probably the reason they're after me in the first place. FRIENDS: Let me make an idiot of myself in public. BEST FRIENDS: Are up there with me making an idiot out of themselves too. FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why I have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mister and Missess, Grandma by Grandma and Grandpa by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM, Grandma, GRANNY and Grandpa, GRAMPS. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! We messed up!" OR "LET'S DO IT AGAIN NEXT WEEK!" FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you "My bad...here's a tissue." FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you. A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you. A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in. A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!" A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies. A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore. A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial. A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you. A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story. A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries. A good friend will ask you why you are crying. A best friend is someone who wont say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing too, just help you cry. Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favourite lullaby. Month Two Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here. Month Three You know what Mommy I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me. Month Four Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too. Month Five You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion? Month Six I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me! Month Seven Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy? Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forcast PJO FANS: will tell Zeus to make it rain NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG! PJO FANS: say OH MY GODS! NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings PJO FANS: won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or I'll tell on you! PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you! NORMAL PEOPLE: think PJO fans are stupid PJO FANS: know that normal people are just jealous NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!!! PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunder storms PJO FANS: yell at Zeus to calm down NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation PJO FANS: would try to find Camp Half-Blood NORMAL PEOPLE: don't have this on their profile! PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile! CHILD OF ZEUS You like being in charge. You often wish you could just zap someone with a thunderbolt. You were voted Class President You do what’s best for everyone. You think you have what it takes to run for President. You think every problem has a solution. You love showing off. You like plane rides (As long as it’s with a good airline) You are hydrophobiac 30 % CHILD OF POSEIDON You feel at home in the water. Your favourite vacation place is at the beach. You enjoy snorkelling, scuba diving, surfing, etc. You want to do something about the marine species being abused today. You visit the local pool on a regular basis. You swim professionally. You hate seafood. You never get seasick. You’d rather ride a boat than a plane. You are acrophobiac 80% CHILD OF HADES You’re not that much of a people person. You like staying in the dark and writing. You experience bad moods on a regular basis. You like listening to loud, angry music. You spend most of your time alone. You think parties are sometimes loud and annoying. You like to keep to yourself. All your closets are padlocked (or you wish they could be) You write in diary/journal/blog. You feel most active at night. 100% CHILD OF DEMETER You own a garden. You like the great outdoors. You have a green thumb. You’re an environmentalist. You have a special connection with animals. You’re a vegetarian. You like going hiking, camping, and looking at the natural wonders of the world. You always check a product if it’s environmentally-friendly. You love going to flower shops. You think global warming is a threat that must be dealt with. 50% CHILD OF ARES You often start fights. You’re a very aggressive type of person. You like watching wrestling. You’re competitive. You like reading about war. You don’t take crap from anybody. You have anger management. You never back away from a fight. Everyone does what you say. You don’t always think before you do something. 100% CHILD OF ATHENA You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge. You’re probably the only person who visit the library on a regular basis. Half of your Christmas presents last year were books. You like reading about war, mostly about the reasons and controversies behind it. You’re the valedictorian in your class. You’ve never gotten a grade below 80 in your report card. You get political jokes without asking people to explain them. You think it would be better if you were the President. You have a huge shelf of books at home. You think vinyl pocket protectors are useful 30% CHILD OF APOLLO You’re very creative and artistic. You like listening to all kinds of music in general. You always feel sunny and optimistic You are talented at drawing. You like writing poetry. You can play at least 3 musical instruments. You like going to art museums. You almost always win 1st Place in Art Contests. You have straight A's in Art on your report card. Your school notebook has more doodles than notes. 30% HUNTER OF ARTEMIS You dislike boys in general. A deer is one of your favourite animals You can shoot targets You like silver. You like the moon better than the sun Zoe Nightshade is awesome You love wild animals You spend most of your time outdoors. You love to move around the place Hunting is not cruel, if it's to hunt down monsters 100% CHILD OF HEPHAESTUS You have a way with tools. You build awesome things during your free time. You’re the best at Woodshop in your class. Metalworking is your forte. You have your own toolbox. You often search the Internet to look for pictures of robots. You’re a techie. You often have carpentry projects. You dream of being a carpenter. You aren’t afraid of fire. 10% CHILD OF APHRODITE Every guy/girl swoons for you. You like putting on makeup. You naturally smell good. You never experience a bad hair day. Your favourite activity is clothes-shopping. You’re always at the front of every trend. You’re the popular girl/guy at your school. You’re often invited to parties. Your motto is ‘It’s never a party without me. You look at yourself in the mirror on a regular basis. 0% CHILD OF HERMES You like pickpocketing your friends. You’re a prankster. You’re a speed demon. You consider yourself restless. You’re the best speaker in the class. You like thinking on your feet and using your wits. You’re inventive and resourceful. You often start arguments. You’ve never lost a debate. You like making witty and sarcastic statements. 90% CHILD OF DIONYSUS You’re the life of the party. You like wine. You’ve probably tasted every alcoholic drink out there. You can finish a martini in less than a minute.. You have a happy, cheerful disposition. You’re a foodie. You like going to social events and mingling with people. You like trying out new food. You feel that you’re abundant in life. You think that too much of anything is bad. 10% Is it possible to be the child of Hades and Ares and be a Hunter of Artemis? Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE Favourite couples · Tintin and Alan Tracy – thunderbirds · Speed Racer and Trixie - Speed Racer · Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase - Percy Jackson · Morgana and Merlin – Merlin · Gwen and Arthur – Merlin · Robin Hood and Marion - Robin Hood · Allan a dale and Kate - Robin hood · Tonks and Lupin - Harry Potter · CeCe and Gunter - Shake it up · Kate and Rich - Dani's castle · Sam and Freddie - icarly/Sam & Cat · Robbie and Cat - Victorious/Sam & Cat · This one might be weird but I kinda like Marcus & Chase - Lab rats Copy and paste this if you think its true. "It's nobody's business what I drink, I care not what the neighbours think, Or how many laws they choose to pass, I'll tell the world I'll have my glass. Here's one man's freedom that can't be curbed, My right to drink is undisturbed. So he drunk in spite of law or man, Then got into his old tin can, Stepped on the gas and let it go, Down the highway to and fro. He took the curves at fifty miles, With bleary eyes and drunken smiles, Not long till a car he tried to pass, There was a crash, a scream and breaking glass. The other car was upside down, About two miles from the nearest town. The man was clear but his wife was caught, And she needed the help of that drunken sot, Who sat in a maudlin, drunken daze, And heard the scream and saw the blaze, But was to far gone to save a life, By lifting the car from off the wife. The car was burned, and the mother died, While a husband wept, and baby cried. And a drunk sat by- and still some think, Its nobody's business what they drink." You know you live if 2012 when... 1.) You accidentally enter you password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or facebook 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the tv 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all you friends. 9.) And you are too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scroll back to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your Profile if you fell for that, and you know you did. I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.' Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' 'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.' A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message, or 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart You say Twilight I say Harry Potter You say vampires I say wizards You say Jacob Black I say Sirius Black you say Team Edward I say Team Potter You say Robert Pattison I'll say "is Cedric Diggory" You think Bella and Edward are the perfect dream couple? I think that's James and Lily You say Edward I'll say Harry, now STUPEFY Sweet as sugar Hard as ice Hurt me once I'll kill you twice A white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said, "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, when I grew up I was BLACK, when I'm sick I'm BLACK, when I go in the sun I'm BLACK, when I'm cold I'm BLACK, when I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, when you are born you're PINK, when you grow up you're WHITE, when you're sick, you're GREEN, when you go in the sun you turn RED, when you're cold you turn BLUE, and when you die you turn PURPLE. and you have the nerve to call me COLOURED?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away.. You’re Girl Side You wear lip gloss/stick You love to shop. You wear eyeliner. You wear the colour pink Go to your mom for advice You consider cheerleading a sport You hate wearing the colour black You like hanging out at the mall You like getting manicures and/or pedicures You like wearing jewellery Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe Shopping is one of your favourite hobbies You don't like the movie Star Wars You were in gymnastics/dance (forced to take dance quit coz I hated) It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up You smile a lot more than you should (In like theatre though) You have more than 10 pairs of shoes You care about what you look like You like wearing dresses when you can You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne. You love movies (but not romance ones) You Use to play with dolls as little kid You like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it Like being the star of everything Total: 2/24 You’re Boy Side You love hoodies You love jeans Dogs are better than cats It's hilarious when people get hurt. (Well... Most of the time) You've played with/against boys on a team Shopping is torture Sad movies suck You own/ed an X-Box You played with Hotwheel cars as a kid At some point in time you wanted to be a fire fighter You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers You watch sports on TV Gory movies are cool You go to your dad for advice You own like a trillion baseball caps You like going to high school football games You used to/do collect football/baseball cards Baggy pants are cool to wear It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favourite colours You love to go crazy and not care what people think Sports are fun Talk with food in your mouth Sleep with your socks on at night Total :19/26 (tomboy's for the win) 16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens. 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!" 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!" Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school He told his friends that it was cool And when he pulled the trigger back It shot with a great crack Mummy I was a good girl I did what I was told I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another And all because he got the gun from his older brother Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush And tell my little sister that she is the only one now And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class And never to forget this and please don't let this pass Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack Mummy listen to me if you would I wanted to go to college I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with daddy On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married I wanted to have a kid I wanted to be an actress Mummy I wanted to live But mummy I must go now The time is getting late Mummy tell my Chris I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date I love you mummy I always have I know you know it's true Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you" In memory of the Columbian students that were lost Please if you would Pass this around I'd be happy if you could Don't smash this on the ground If you pass this on Maybe people will cry Just keep this in heart For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye" Girl: Slow down, I'm scared! Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gives him a big hug* Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them,a day to love them, but then an entire lifetime to forget them. My name is Tiffany, I am three, my eyes are swollen, I cannot see, I must be stupid, I must be bad, what else could have made my Dad so mad? I wish I were better, I wish I weren't ugly, then maybe my Mummy would still want to hug me. I can't do a wrong, I can't speak at all or else I'm locked up, all day long. When I'm awake I'm all alone the house is all dark, my folk aren't at home when my Mummy does come home, I'll try and be nice, so maybe I'll just get, one whipping tonight. I just heard a car, my Daddy is back from Charlie's bar. I press my self against the wall. I try to hide, from his evil eyes, I'm so afraid now, I'm starting to cry. He finds me weeping, calls me ugly words he says its my fault he suffers at work. He slaps and hits me and yells at more, I finally get free and run to the door. He's already locked it, and I start to bawl, he takes me and throws me against the hard wall I fall to the floor, with my bones nearly broken and my Daddy continues, with more bad words spoken, "I'm sorry!", I scream, but its now much to late his face has been twisted, into an unimaginable shape the hurt and the pain, again and again O please God have mercy, O please let it end! And he finally stops, and heads for the door, while I lay there motionless. Brawled on the floor. My name is Tiffany I am three, and tonight my Daddy murdered me. Pass this on! IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE! Hi Bullies! The Girl you just called fat? She has been starving herself & has lost over 30lbs. The Boy you just called stupid? He has a learning disability & studies over 4hrs a night. The Girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her. The Boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. There's more to people than you think. Repost this if you are against bullying. Percy Jackson Oath I promise to remember Percy whenever I'm at sea I promise to remember Annabeth whenever a spider comes at me I promise to protect nature for Grover's sake of course I promise to remember Luke when my heart fills with remorse I promise to remember Chiron whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride'' I promise to remember Tyson whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side I promise to remember Thalia whenever a friend is scared of heights I promise to remember Clarisse whenever I see someone that gives me a fright I promise to remember Bianca whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother I promise to remember Nico whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others I promise to remember Zoë whenever I watch the stars I promise to remember Rachel whenever a limo passes my car. Yes I promise to remember Percy wherever I may go So that all may see my obsession because I know what the Percy fans know Percy Jackson isn't an obsession Its a way of life, you know... What I think life is about... Life isn't about what you wore to school or what kind of car you drove or who your friends were. Life is what you decide to make it, its yours and yours alone. Don't let anybody tell you that you won't make it and your not good enough. Because if they say it then they don't know you at all. Your powerful and incredible! Your a force to reckon with when your minds set, your emotional and lovable! Your extraordinary, not simple, but unique. Its your life to create or destroy. But you only get one chance and its yours to take! There once was a girl who was sad, and not the type of sad that you can cure. She would wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and cry. She wouldn't eat because she though she was fat, she wouldn't talk cause she thought she sounded like a boy, and she wouldn't be friends because she thought she was ugly. She was made fun of everyday because she turned herself into a loner One day she didn't show up to school and people didn't even notice. Later that day the principle came over the loudspeaker and said she wouldn't be returning. She was up in heaven making friends with Jesus. Nobody knew who the girl was but they knew that she was finally happy. If you read that and it reminds you of anyone, then you should try and get them help. People are unique and shouldn't have to feel that way! FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? WTF!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England), ChiyoChiyamamoto (USA), Crazy-Monkey13 (USA) Mittensx7768 (USA), Darkness Incarnated (USA), monkeygirl77 (USA), Secret (Scotland UK). Fanfiction: Because 87% of all original endings suck. Fanfiction: Because 95% of all plot twists are either predictable or stupid. Fanfiction: Because my favourite characters always die. Fanfiction: Because sometimes evil deserves to win. Fanfiction: Because sometimes authors just don't know which of their own characters go together best. Fanfiction: Because most authors aren't willing to write multiple versions of their stories just so we can see every possibility that arises. Fanfiction: Because all stories shouldn't have an ending; there should always be another adventure. Fanfiction: Because sometimes there's no one your age and gender who you can relate to. Fanfiction: Because sometimes you want to be in that story yourself. Fanfiction: Because sometimes you have no other way to express the ideas in your head. Fanfiction: Because it's an escape. If you are a Potterhead (Harry Potter fan), copy paste this onto your profile. If you are obsessed with Fanfiction, copy paste this onto your profile. List your 12, favourite Harry Potter characters below: 1) George Weasley 2) Fred Weasley 3) Remus Lupin 4) Sirius Black 5) Dobby 6) Oliver Wood 7) Charlie Weasley 8) Molly Weasley 9) Severus Snape 10) Cedric Diggory 11) Lily Potter 12) Draco Malfoy 1) Have you ever read a six/eleven fanfic before? Oliver and Lily? No. 2) Do you think four is hot? How hot? No, but he’s cute as a dog. 3) What would happen if twelve got eight pregnant? All Hades would break loose. 4) Do you recall any fics about nine? Quite a few. 5) Would two and six make a good couple? GODS FORBID, NO!! 6) Five/Nine or five/ten? Dobby/Severus or Dobby/Cedric – neither 8) Make up a summary of a three/ten fanfic. (Remus/Cedric) Cedric Diggory’s parent’s decide he needs a new change of scenery. They send him to his uncle Remus for the summer. 9) Is there any such thing as one/eight fluff? Mother and son fluff? Hades no!!! 10) Suggest a title for a seven/twelve hurt/comfort fic (Charlie/Draco) ‘Why am I doing this?’ 11) Does anyone on your friends list read three? (Remus) Idk. 12)Does anyone on your friends list draw or write eleven? (Lily) Naw. 13)Would anyone on your friends’ list write two/four/five? Fred/Sirius/Dobby – No 14) What might ten scream at a great moment of fear? (Cedric) "FOR HUFFLEPUFF” 15) If you wrote a song fic about eight, what song would you use? (Molly) Darlin by Avril Lavigne 16) If you wrote a one/six/twelve fic, what would the warning be? (George/Oliver/Draco) WARNING: A LOT of violence 17) What would be a good pick up line for ten to use on two? "The Mischief isn't managed yet..." 18. How would you feel if Seven/Eight were in a fight? Charlie/Molly? Surprised, I mean that would have to be the end of the would then. 19. What would you think if you found (5) was a really good friend of a sibling or relative of yours? Weirded out, but wouldn’t mind one bit. 20.Write a short summary about a One/Two fic George/Fred – that is just plain wrong, I mean they’re twins for Hades sake!!!! How about, they’ve always stuck together and never separated. 21.Let's say Two, Eight and Eleven were stuck in a burning barn. You can only save one of them. Which would you save? Definitely Fred (Two). Sorry Molly… Lily... 22.Who would you rather kill of: One or Ten? Cedric (Ten). I could never harm George. 23.Let's say you are going to die and you were allowed to bring either Three or Five with you. Who would you want to accompany you in death? Remus or Dobby? This is hard…….I guess Remus 24.Would you ever go on a date with Twelve? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (7) and (10) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (7). (10), broken-hearted, has a hot, one-night stand with (2) and a brief unhappy affair with (1), then follows the wise advice of (6) and finds true love with (12). Charlie and Cedric are in a happy relationship until Severus runs off with Charlie. Cedric, broken-hearted, has a hot, one-night stand with Fred and a brief unhappy affair with George, then follows the wise advice of Oliver and finds true love with Draco. How would you react if you saw Eight and Five in a closet together with a rubber ducky? Molly, Dobby, a wardrobe and rubber duck. I feel sorry for Arthur. Things I am not to do at Hogwarts 1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball (Peeves on the other hand is fine) 2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office (skipping is just wrong) 3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter (wouldn't get that much anyway he almost dies every year) 4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick (It’s just childish) 5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar (a normal collar would be so much more useful and maybe a flea bath..) 6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination (why? the predictions would be better than professor Trelawney's ) 7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms" (even if he is) 8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy. (but I can bet on which student professor Trelawney will predictic the death of this year *fingers crossed for Harry Potter*) 9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month" (at least not to his face) 10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand (in front of teachers anyway) 11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals (but I can use teddy bears) 12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force" (even if it is) 14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot (it's more fun to use plastic snakes) 15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it (If I can’t stop laughing then please Obliviate me) 16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive (But I can lock the Slytherin’s in a room and forget about them) 17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast (a really big battle between them and the students is allowed though) 18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day" (That would be torture to the rest of the school) 19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways (Unless it is at night) 20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor (But it is okay when points are taken away from Slytherin) 21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort (I may tell him to "drop dead" or "stop stalking Harry Potter") 22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy (teachers are though) 23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling (Spiderman might get upset) 26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate (Unless i want to scare people) 27) I will not steal Gryffindor sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways (a wand is much better than a sword or maybe I should just bring fluffy...) 28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's" (Telling them they are bees is okay though and poking Slytherins with knifes is okay ) 29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge (where as "i have heard every joke about Fudge's name" is) 32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm (but I may draw a moustache on their face) 33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers (First years are though) 34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion (I may ask him if I can use it as shampoo) 35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends" 36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends" 37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak 45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween (but i may dress up as a dementor or professor snape wearing Neville's Grans clothes now that was really scary *shudders*) 46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself too seriously (telling him to lighten up is okay though) 47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions (But I may tell the fat lady that Sirus black is coming back to get her) 48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet (but I can be king of the kitchens) 49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice (But stalking Harry Potter is) 50) I will not attack my fellow classmates (But I may attack other people's classmates) 51) I will not make an impossible riddle for people to give an answer to enter the Ravenclaw area. (an easy one is okay though) 52) I will not hit anybody with a wand, even if I don't do a spell. (I may hit them with a book though) 53) I will not yell Shazam when I am trying to transfigure something. (Unless the spell requires it) 54) I will not tell Moaning Myrtle that Olive Hornby is at Hogwarts for a month (I’ll just let her figure it out herself) 55) I will not raid the kitchen before Quittich games for rotten tomatoes to throw at the players. (But I can throw Bricks) 56) I will not place a circus mirror by the Fat Lady to make her look thin (but I can place a thin portrait across from her) 57) I will not launch spoonfuls of porridge at the owls every morning. (one is enough) 58) I will not ride the therstals and feed them Mrs. Norris (Werewolves eat therstals quicker and I’m not sure I can see them) 59) I will not launch fireworks off the Astronomy Tower (Unless it’s new year) 60) I will not spray the plants with weed killer at Herbology when they bite me. (I’ll just spray them all the time) 61) I will not eat any pets, including owls, toads, cats and rats, even if they taste good. (But I can try eating blast ending skrutes) 62) I will not fill a water gun up with random potions and squirt them at people (but I may charm snowballs to follow them around) 63) I will not make make-up with bubotuber pus to sell to the girls at school so they will get pimples (but I may give it to the boys!) 64) I will not say that Draco looks gay with his blond hair, even if he does. (well at least not to his face) 65) I will not give stilts to Professor Flitwick on Christmas. (but I can give stilts to him on his birthday) 66) Selling T-Shirts that say 'Keep Calm and Ask Hermione' is banned. (one's that say "death to Voldemort" or "Keep calm and annoy Umbridge" are not banned) 67) I will not steal all the wizards chess players to create a miniture battle in the courtyard (creating a big one is okay though) 68) Putting fake dememtors around the school is discouraged (putting real ones around is fine) 69) I will not chew Drooble's Best Blowing Gum during class (but I may eat in class) 70) Exploding bonbons are not meant for throwing at people (but I can throw fireworks at them) 71) No matter how good of Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during care of magical creatures (but I may imitate David Attenburgh) 72) Putting up Doug Henning posters in Flich’s office is not appropriate (Putting up I love Umbridge Posters is) 73) I will not tye-dye ALL the school owls (a few or half is okay though) 74)I will not re-enact Harry Potter Pals in the school (No one wants to see Dumbledore shirtless) 75)I am not allowed to take Professor Flitwicks’ wand and hold over my head so he can’t reach it and laugh (But I can take first year’s wands and do that) 76) I am not allowed to draw a smiley face on my arm and tell people it’s the new dark mark (Anything else is okay though) 77) I will not write a H on Percy Weasley’s forehead (drawing a P for prat or changing his name to Praty is okay though) 78) I will not refer to Umbridge as the queen of the toads (She is more like the queen of the frogs) 79) Cat’s and Dragons can and should not be interbreed so I must not attempt this (but dogs and dragons might work) 80) House elf stew is not on the Hogwarts’ menu neither is Niffler curry so I should stop asking for them (But there is a chance I can get owl stew or teacher twizzlers) 81) There is no ‘bring a muggle to school day’ (but there is a ‘Love professor Snape day) 82) The fact that Draco is short, blond pale-eyed and rat-faced is no reason for me tell Slytherins that Peter Pettigrew should be paying Narcissa child support (But I can tell the rest of the houses that) 83) I will not refer Remus Lupin as a nice doggy (He prefers Wolfie) 84) If I ever apply for a job I should not say my biggest influences are ‘Fred and George Weasley’ or ‘Voldemort’ (Peter Pettigrew is okay though) 85) I will not send Professor Snape toothpaste and shampoo for Christmas (I can give it to him for his birthday) 86) The house elves are not there to do my homework (Hermione might be) 87) Seamus is not hiding a gold pot (Or maybe that’s just what he wants us to think) 88) I will not use the Marauder’s map for stalking (stalking is Voldemort’s job) 89) I will not sing the song “I know a song that gets on everybody nerves” (singing “I know a song that’ll get on your nerves” is okay) 90) I am not allowed to ask pureblood students “if your Parents got divorced would they still be brother and sister?” even if it would probably be true 91) Saying Voldemort is my hero is a bad idea (saying Peter Pettigrew is my hero is okay) 92) I will not sing do you believe in magic while walking to modern (at any other point it is ok) 93) I am not to tell anyone Dumbledore is Santa’s brother (saying he is Santa is ok) Friends say that I'm normal people say that I'm crazy friends say that I'm overprotective people say I'm violent friends say I'm interesting People say I'm a bitch friends tell me who’s hurting them people go hide in rocks Friends say I'm social people say I'm antisocial friends say I'm lazy people say I'm fat friends say I'm a book worm people say I'm a nerd friends say I have a way with words People say I'm insane I say I’m amazing Hi, my name is Kazu. I like Writing and I like Athletics. I am running down the road I suddenly tripped over. I come home with a scratch on my knee. My mummy begins to worry. I tell her I am fine. She sighs and says ok. I am at school. When suddenly I fall and hit a tree. I am sent to the sickbay. Then I am sent home. Mummy takes me to the doctors. The doctors tell mummy something. Mummy starts to cry. I tell her it's ok. I'm not going to die. She tells me I am starting. Starting to be slower. I don't know what it means. But I have become sick. I tell mummy it's ok. I will become better. Mummy starts to cry. Do I have cancer? Mummy says no. Then what do I suppose. As a year had past. I struggle to walk. My speech is getting slower. It's hard for me to talk. My friends like to help me. My classmates like to run. But I have to sit down. And watch them have fun. Then one day my teacher. Comes to see mummy. Daddy comes out. And starts to get all snotty. The teacher tells my parents. I can no longer go to school. My motion is too slow. I ask the teacher slowly. I am sorry I am useless. I start to cry and beg her. I want to go to school. The teacher gives a smile. And tells me she is sorry. The school cant really help me. The words were so cruel. The day I had to leave. My friends and classmates cried. The boys upon the windows. Wave to me goodbye. I smile and sit in the car. I am taken to a school. A school with special people. Just like me and you. I start to have some fun. I made a lot of friends. As many years passed again. I talk too slow to understand. I cannot run anymore. And I struggle to even stand. I cannot write in my diary. My motion is too slow. Then one day I am sent. To the hospital again. Now many years have passed. I lie in a warm bed. I cannot move my body. I cannot move again. I talk very slowly. I cannot move my head. My mummy sits there crying. My daddy looks depressed. I ask my mummy sadly. Am I going to die. My mother holds my hand. Yells and starts to cry. A few more years later. I have to shut my eyes. I cannot talk or move. I seem to have died. Copy and Paste this story about Kazu who was diagnosed with a rare uncurable disease, Spinocerebellar Degeneration, in your profile. This disease causes a failure of muscle control in their arms and legs, resulting in a lack of balance and coordination or a disturbance of gait. Support and send the message worldwide. Stupid Stereotypes I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat. I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS. I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell. I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell. I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world. (I believe something is out there I just don't know what) I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals. (same as above) I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people. I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible. I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay. I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash. I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants. I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem. I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store. I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage. I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore. I'm a DANCER, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore. I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut. I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or emo. I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars. I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy. I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore. I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut. I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals. I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one". I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST! I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. (I'm not pretty) I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. (I wish I could die my hair) I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention. I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe. I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer. I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll. I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi. I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO. I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT. I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited. I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13. I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy. I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas. I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction. I’m a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude. I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent. I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly. I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and Kool-Aid. I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7 I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals. I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up. I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist. I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork. I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil. I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty. I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self-control. I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister. I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore. I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border. I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat. I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot. I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis. I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay. I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich. I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino. I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party. I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo. I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy. I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone. I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too. I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't. I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social. I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch. My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills. I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch. I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs. I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser. I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself. I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be gay I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak. I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted. I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled. I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant. I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear skirts (It's actually called a kilt) I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent. I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend. I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers. I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare. I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth. I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid. I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER! I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth. I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future. I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE (don’t honestly know what they are) I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy I CHAT; I MUST be having cyber-sex. I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian. I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see. I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED. I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST. I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST. ( I sometimes disagree with them) I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick. I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY. I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE. I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic b*tard. I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean. I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid. I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around. I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian. I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting. I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life. I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too. I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp. I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist Death -The action or fact of dying or being killed; the end of the life of a person or organism. A Story of Life and Death A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery. He answered the call asap, changed his clothes & went directly to the surgery block. He found the boy's father pacing in the hall waiting for the doctor. On seeing the doctor, the dad yelled: "Why did you take all this time to come? Don't you know that my son's life is in danger? Don't you have any sense of responsibility?" The doctor smiled & said: "I am sorry, I wasn't in the hospital & I came as fast as I could after receiving the call... And now, I wish you'd calm down so that I can do my work." "Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would you calm down? If your own son dies now what will you do??" said the father angrily. The doctor smiled again & replied: "I will say what was said in the Holy Book "From dust we came & to dust we return, blessed be the name of God". "Doctors cannot prolong lives. Go & intercede for your son, we will do our best by God's grace" He said. "Giving advises when we're not concerned is so easy" Murmured the father. The doctor went and did the surgery. The surgery took some hours after which the doctor went out happy, "Thank goodness!, your son is saved!" And without waiting for the father's reply he carried on his way running. "If you have any question, ask the nurse!!" "Why is he so arrogant? He couldn't wait some minutes so that I ask about my son's state!", commented the father when seeing the nurse minutes after the doctor left. The nurse answered, tears coming down her face: "His son died yesterday in a road accident, he was in the burial when we called him for your son's surgery. And now that he saved your son's life, he left running to finish his son's burial." Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life Boy: My life The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap. When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice. When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back. When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row. When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house. When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste. When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter. When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked. When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could. When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night. When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn. When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends. When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country. When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children. And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART. Never take your dad for granted, you have no idea what you are missing. Love him and thank him while he's alive. Dear pessimist, optimist and realist While you were debating about the water in the glass I drank it. From the opportunist Dear Voldomort They messed your nose up to From Michal Jackson Dear Yahoo I have never heard I don’t know that Yahoo it From Google Dear America You gave us Miley Cyrus so you can't complain about Beiber From Canada Dear math I am NOT your therapist slove your own problems 10 Commandments of a Teenager 1. Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. (Why wait that long?) 2. Thou shall not do drugs. (Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.) 3. Thou shall not steal from K-Mart. (Walmart has a bigger selection) 4. Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism. (Destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this) 5. Thou shall not steal from your parents. (Everyone knows grandma has more money) 6. Thou shall not get into fights. (Cat fight anyhow...just start them.) 7. Thou shall not skip class. (Just take the whole day off) 8. Thou shall not strip in class. (Hooters pays more) 9. Thou shall not think about having sex. (Like Nike says, "just do it") 10. Thou shall not help old ladies across the street. (Just leave'm in the middle) AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;) 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!" Behind every smile is a tear, Behind every tear is a story, A story that will only come out when the right chose is made, But for that to happen all that is needed, Is for someone to notice the tears behind the smile, Only then you will know the true story... The girl who seemed unbreakable, broke. The girl who seemed strong, crumbled. The girl who always laughed, cried. The girl who never stopped trying, finally gave up. She dropped a fake smile as a tear rolled down her cheek & whispered to herself 'I cant do this anymore. WARNING : Do NOT follow in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff. I’m the girl I'm the Girl who hears voices and has hallucinations. I'm the Girl who says random book quotes that no one but me understands. I'm the Girl who can relate absolutely everything to Percy Jackson. I'm the Girl who talks to herself. I'm the Girl who can be caught screaming at books. I'm the Girl who you don't want to mess with in a bad mood. (I have a lot of those) I'm the Girl who doesn't like to talk about boys but is really a complete sap. I'm the Girl who can hold a grudge for a very, very long time. I'm the Girl who believes that you can't prove something isn't real. I'm the Girl who dresses how I want. I'm the Girl who likes the moon better than the sun. I'm the Girl who likes books better than people. I'm the Girl who talks to herself and her books. I'm the Girl who doesn't care what people say about me. I'm the Girl who goes on Fanfiction more than is healthy. I'm the Girl whose siblings say they need to take me to a special doctor. I'm the Girl who knows she is weird and crazy and is proud of it. I'm the Girl who considers myself nocturnal. I'm the Girl who is intentionally contrary. I'm the Girl that hates parties, and when I do go, I sit in the corner and read a book. I'm the Girl who's parents says I read to much and I need to be "more well rounded" I'm the Girl who wants to paint the walls in her room black. I'm the Girl who prefers to stay home and read than talk to people. I'm the Girl who accepts that I'm not normal and is proud of it. Dumb Store Labels On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?) On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's 'just' a suggestion!) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?) On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.) On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!) On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..) On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.) On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.) On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..) On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.) On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.) In Nissan Rouge Car commercial: "WARNING: Fantasy! Car's can not jump on trains!" (Dang, thats my favorite way to travel though...) Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this into your profile! XD To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. When caught sleeping at school/work wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!" 5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6 7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'. 9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream'I Won! I Won!' 18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' 20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity . Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile. This Story is Stupid Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody was faced with an important task. Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about it that because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it. But, Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. The end result was that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have. -A Charles Osgood Poem about Responsibility Fear You aren't scared of the dark. You're scared of what's in it. You aren't afraid of heights. You're afraid of falling. You aren't afraid of death. You're afraid of dying. You aren't afraid of the people around you. You're afraid of rejection. You aren't afraid to love. You're afraid of not being loved back. You aren't afraid of letting go. You're just afraid to accept the reality that they're gone. You aren't afraid to try again. You're afraid of being hurt for the exact same thing. Insult Comebacks: Your fat! Like your one to talk. Your stupid! And so are your insults. Your ugly! Oh, please look in a mirror- If you can without breaking it. Ever think of wearing makeup? you could use some. Ever think of wearing a bag over your head? You would be doing the world a favor. You are such a nerd. Awe... you think I'm smart? What an ugly little witch! You spoiled brat that can't even come up with a good insult! Do you ever consider looking nice? Do you ever consider not wearing makeup fit for a Halloween party? Why don't you shave that mustache? Sure, right after you shave your beard! You are horrible at comebacks! Oh I'm just getting started. Tell you what! I'll make a good comeback when you graduate high school!- If I haven't died of old age by then. Dear bullies, See that boy doing his homework in homeroom? Last night he Talked His friend out of suicide. See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself. See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country. See that young boy you must made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor. Re-Post this if u r against bullying. I bet 95% of u won't. Your life would probably not be as harsh as theirs. Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree. --Philosophical Moment: Child Abuse-- Her name was Auroura She was only five This is what happened When she was alive Her dad was a drunk Her mom was an addict Her parents kept her Locked in an attic Her only friend was a little toy bear It was old and worn out And had patches of hair She always talked to it When no one's around She lays there and hugs it Not a peep of sound Until her parents unlock the door Some more and more pain She'll have to endure A bruise on her leg A scar on her face Why would she be In such a horrible place? But she grabs her bear And softly crys She loves her parents But they want her to die She sits in the corner Quiet but thinking, "God, why? Why is My life always sinking?" Such a bad life For a sad little kid She'd get beaten and beaten For anything she did Then one night Her mom came home high The poor child was hit and slapped As hours went by Then her mom suddenly Grabbed for a blade It was sharp and pointy One that she made She thrusted the blade Right in her chest, "You deserve to die You worthless pest!" The mom walked out Leaving the girl slowly dying She grabbed her bear And again started crying Police showed up At the small little house They quickly barged in Everything was as quiet as a mouse One officer slowly Opened a door To find the sad little girl Lying on the floor It must have been bad To go through so much harm But at least she died With her best friend in her arms If child abuse makes you sick and you think it's horrible and should be stopped, put this poem on your profile. I have a one-time gift. A beautiful gift that many people are ridiculed for in this day and age. A precious gift that many people throw away. It's called "virginity", and I plan to not waste it on someone who's just gonna dump me later. I choose to be faithful to my future husband, the man who will love me for the rest of my life, and to wait for the wedding day!! If you have chosen to save your one-time gift and are PROUD of your purity, paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Dearheart, floppyearsthebunny, Narniachick, Jesus' girl 4ever, powerrangersfangirl22, Secret, Scarlet Nightshadow, Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing. About my writing... I'm deep and dark and twisted, but sprinkle humor in my stories, I like fluff and family comfort, But have a penchant to be gory. Cursing is ok when called for, As are adult-like themes when right, I don't update too regularly, Until it hits in the middle of the night. OOC bugs me endlessly, And slash is ok, when done well, I often play up bigger themes, Like light and dark/heaven and hell. So read it at your own risk, I think reviews are good and nice, But if you're going to troll me, I hope you're eaten by rabid mice :) A little bit about what Fanfiction is to me... Fanfiction Beyond this place of hollow bone, Where war and peace make their home, Where love is spoken in clever words, And what is meant is always heard. Beyond this mortal, weary world, Live charming boys and pretty girls, Heroes and foes, beyond mere men, And tales, once told, begin again, Living forever, and in perfect circles dance, Beyond reality's incompetence. -M. Lou. A letter from mum and dad My child, when I get old I hope you understand and have patience with me. In case I break a plate or spill soup on the table because I‘m losing my eyesight, I hope you don’t yell at me. Older people are sensitive…always having self-pity when you yell. When my hearing gets worse and I can’t hear what you’re saying I hope you don’t call me, “Deaf!” please repeat what you said or write it down. I’m sorry, my child…I’m getting older. When my knees get weaker, I hope you have the patience to help me get up, like how I used to help you while you were little, learning how to walk. Please bear with me when I keep repeating myself like a broken record, I hope you just keep listening to me. Please don’t make fun of me or get sick of listening to me. Do you remember when you were little and you wanted a balloon? You repeated yourself over and over until you got what you wanted. …Please also pardon my smell. I smell like an old person. Please don’t force me to shower. My body is weak. Old people get sick easily when they’re cold. I hope I don’t gross you out. Do you remember when you were little? I used to chase you around because you didn’t want to shower. I hope you can be patient with me when I’m always cranky It’s all part of getting old. You’ll understand when you’re older. And if you have spare time, I hope we can talk even for a few minutes. I’m always all by myself all the time. And have no one to talk to. I know you’re busy with work. Even if you’re not interested in my stories, please have time for me. Do you remember when you were little? I used to listen to your stories about your teddy bear. When the time comes and I get ill and bedridden, I hope you have the patience to take care of me. I’M SORRY if I accidentally wet the bed or make a mess. I hope you have the patience to take care of me during the last few moments of my life. I’m not going to last much longer, anyway. When the time of my death come, I hope you hold my hand and give me the strength to face death. And don’t worry…when I finally meet our Creator…I will whisper in his ear to BLESS you! Because you loved your mum and dad. Thank you so much for your care. We love you! With much love, mum and dad. Respect your mother. My mum only had one eye. I hated her…she was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students & teacher…to support the family. There was this one day during elementary school where my mum came to say hello to me. I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me? I ignore her, threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school one of my classmates said, “EEWW, your mum only has one eye!” I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mum to just disappear…I confronted her that day and said, “if you’re only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don’t you just die?” My mum did not respond…I didn’t even stop to think for a second about what I had said because, I was FULL of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings. I wanted out of that house and to have NOTHING to do with her. So I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study. Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids, and the comforts, then one day my mother came to visit me. She hadn’t seen me in years and she didn’t even meet her grandchildren. When she stood by the door my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited. I screamed at her, “ How dare you come to my house and scare my children! GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!” And to this my mother quietly answered, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address.” And she disappeared out of sight. One day a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. So I lied to my wife and told her that I was going on a business trip. After the reunion I went to the old shack just out of curiosity. My neighbours said that she had died. I did not shed a single tear. They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have. My dearest son, I think of you all the time. I’m sorry that I came to your house and scared your children. I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you. I’m sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up. You see…when you were very little, you got into an accident and…you lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn’t stand watching you…having to grow up with one eye. So…I gave you mine. I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me in, my place, with that eye. With all my love to you, your mother. “ This is a story about a single mother, imagine you are one of the children in this story, your mother raises you and your two brothers. And works as a maid, as a father and as a mother, she cooked breakfast before she went to her work. And she never forgot to say, “I love you” before you went to school. In the afternoon you see your mother is very tired but she still never forgets to cook dinner and wash your clothes while you play outside with your friends...and on your birthday you’re expecting so much about the gift your mother will give you but then you didn’t receive what you wanted. And you said, “This is not what I want!” You didn’t even think what difficulties, sweat, blood your mother had to endure before she could buy that gift…your mother just ignored what you said but deep inside you know she’s crying. One night you see your mother looks really sick…and you asked her if she’s ok and she told you she only needed a rest and would be okay tomorrow. She then said good night and the words, “I love you!” Next morning you woke up early and decided to surprise your mother by cooking her favourite food…hours pass…and you noticed that your mothers still not coming out of her room as she does everyday, so you decide to wake her up. As you open the door you feel weird and your heart starts to pump fast…while you closer to your mother you feel really nervous and you start to sweat…you hold her hand slowly… you feel it’s cold and your tears start to fall. You try to wake her but there’s no response…”She’s dead!” you sadly said, “ Mum I’m sorry, I know it’s to late but I love you and am sorry for the things I’ve done to you!” Beside your mother there’s a letter saying, “Sorry I can’t be a good mother to you but I hope you realise that I did my best. I’m sorry it will end this way but I hope you know that you are very special to me not matter what you say. I love you, your mama.” Hope you received a moral lesson through this story, that your mother will always love you no matter what. And you should love her back before it’s to late. Hi mummy… Hi mummy I’m your baby. You don’t me yet, I’m only a few weeks old. You’re going find out about me soon, though, I promise. Let me tell you some things about me, my name is John and I’ve got beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don’t have it yet but I will when I’m born. I’m going to be your only child and you’ll call me your ‘one and only’. I’m going to grow up without a daddy mostly but we will have each other. We’ll help each other and love each other. I want to be a doctor when I grow up. You found out about me today mummy! You were so excited, you couldn’t wait to tell everyone! All you could do all day was smile and everything was perfect. You have a beautiful smile mummy. Yours will be the first face I see in my life and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I know it already. Today was the day you told daddy. You were so excited to tell him about me! He wasn’t happy mummy! He kind of got angry. I don’t think that you noticed but he did! He started to talk about something called wedlock, and money, and bills and stuff I don’t understand yet. You were still happy, though, so it was ok. Then he did something scary mummy! He hit you! I could feel you flying backward, your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay…but I was very sad for you. You were crying then, mummy. That’s a sound I don’t like. It doesn’t make me feel good. It makes me cry too. He said sorry after and he hugged you again. You forgave him mummy but I’m not sure I do! It wasn’t right. You say he loves you…so why would he hurt you? I don’t like it mummy. Finally you can see me! Your stomach is a little bigger and you’re so proud of me. You went out with your mummy to buy me clothes and you were so very happy. You sing to me too. You have the most beautiful voice in the whole wide world. I’m happiest when you sing and when you talk to me, I feel safe. So safe. You just wait and see, mummy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will make you proud and love you with all my heart. I can move my hands and feet now, mummy! I do it because you put your hands on my belly to feel me and I giggle. You giggle too. I love you mummy! I promise when I grow up I won’t let you get hurt! I promise to protect you. DADDY IS BAD! Daddy came to see you today mummy. I got really scared he was acting really funny and he wasn’t talking right. He said he didn’t want you. I don’t know why but that’s what he said. And he hit you again! I don’t care if you think he’s a good person, I think he is bad. But he hit you mummy and said he doesn’t want us. He doesn’t like me. Why doesn’t like me mummy? You didn’t talk to me tonight mummy. Is everything okay? It’s been 3 days since you saw daddy and you haven’t felt me or talked to me since then. Do you not love me anymore? I still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when you sleep. You sleep funny kind of curled up on your side. And you hug me with your arms and I feel safe and warm again. Why don’t you do that when your awake anymore? I’m 21 weeks old today mummy. Aren’t you proud of me? We’re going somewhere today and it’s somewhere new. I’m excited. It looks like a hospital too. I hope you’re as excited as me. I can’t wait. …Mummy I’m getting scared your heart is still beating but I don’t know what you’re thinking. The doctor is talking to you and I think something is going to happen soon. I’m really scared mummy. Please tell me you love me mummy, then I’ll feel safe. I love you mummy! Mummy what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It hurts so bad! Please mummy, help me! Make them stop! Don’t worry mummy, I’m safe. I’m in heaven with the angles now. They told me about what you did, they said it’s called an abortion…WHY MUMMY?! WHY DID YOU DO IT? DIDN’T YOU LOVE ME? WHY DID YOU GET RID OF ME? I’m really sorry if I did something wrong, mummy. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART! WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? Please mummy I want to live. It really hurts to see you not care about me, not talk to me…didn’t I love you enough? Please keep me mummy! I want to live, smile, watch the clouds, see your face and grow up to be a doctor. I don’t want to be here I want you to love me again! I’m really sorry if I did something wrong. I love you! I love you mummy! Hi I’m Lindsay! I’m 4 years old almost up to a whole hand! (she holds up four fingers) Grandma’s coming for Christmas! It’s going to be so much fun. She told me she’s getting a surprise for me! I hope it’s that new Polly pocket…she told me that presents don’t matter to her…the only present she wants is to see me! She’s coming all the way from Georgia. Mummy says that’s a long way away. Grandma says they grow oranges there! I like oranges. Well I got to go to bed now daddy’s going to read me my favourite book! It’s about a bear who makes friends with a pig and they go on a picnic and- “Lindsay brush your teeth sweetie!” That’s mummy calling me, I better go! Bye-bye! Goodnight! “Lindsay wake up grandma’s here!” “Grandma!” I run downstairs! I can’t wait to see her! “Grandma where are you?” I start crying, “Where are you grandma?” Mummy walks in, “Mummy! Where’s grandma? You said she was here!” “Sweetie it’s 6am what are you doing up?” Mummy yawns. “Grandma doesn’t come until tomorrow.” Mummy takes me back to bed, “You need to sleep!” Mummy leaves but I just can’t sleep. Ugh, I know I’ll start counting sheep. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 , 11, 12, 13 ,14, 15… “Lindsay, I’m here!” That’s grandma she’s really here. I run downstairs to living room. “Lindsay my sunshine…oh my sunshine is that the tightest hug you can give me?” Grandma asks me as I hug her. “Show me a bear hug!” she tells me and I hugger as tight as I love her which is a lot. “Now darling you need some sleep!” She tells me as I fall asleep in her arms. “Beep, beep! “ my alarm clock wakes me up which means grandma must have carried me to my room last night. She’s the best grandma ever! I need to tell her much I love her, huh she not in ther living room maybe she’s in the kitchen! “Mummy, why are you crying?” “Lindsay grandma won’t be coming for Christmas.” “Buuuu-ut…” “She’s in a beautiful place.” “Ooh what’s it called?” “Darling, it’s called heaven; grandma’s dead!” “No she’s alive!” “Grandma will always be alive in our hearts…” “NO, she’s not dead she put me to bed last night!” “Sweetie she can’t be here! She went to heaven and 6:10am!” “But she’s here…” Learn to love the people you’re with because when they’re gone you’ll see how much you loved them. “You don’t see how much you love something until it’s gone!” - unknown Boyfriend/girlfriend - abuse story BOY: Heya babe, what’s up? GIRL: Not much {silence} BOY: well do you fancy coming swimming with me on Saturday for my birthday? GIRL: I’m really, sorry babe I can’t. The next day {the BOY’s birthday} the BOY went to see his baby to check if she was alright. He was throwing rocks at her window so she would come out. But nobody came so he rang her cell phone… a stranger answered. Stranger: sorry Cassidy can’t come out today. Try her tomorrow, bye. The boy was about to leave when he heard a scream. GIRL: Help! His baby was screaming as her dad pushed her against her bedroom windows. The boy ran home and the next day in school…she didn’t show up. In his first lesson a Dr. came into his class and called him outside…he showed him a photo of Cassidy. Dr.: do you know her? BOY: Yeah, why? Dr: She died earlier this morning. BOY: How?! HOW?! Dr.: She was beaten so hard she bled to death I’m sorry son. The boy walked back to his class in tears. And when he got there his teacher told to take the day off. When he was home he remembered about a piece of paper Cassidy had given him before her death. Note: Dear the best boyfriend ever, I love you, I would rather die than have you go through what I did, will you go to the school dance with me, please? Love you lots Cassidy The boy sobbed his heat out. BOY: Rather die?! From that day he carried the note in his pocket always. And now to hopefully get you to smile some funny quotes: Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. Elbert Hubbard People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. Isaac Asimov Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. Mark Twain A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Lana Turner My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. Mitch Hedberg If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month. Theodore Roosevelt Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. Jim Carrey Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Mark Twain I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. Elayne Boosler Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children. Bill Hicks There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. Henry A. Kissinger We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know. W. H. Auden I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. Douglas Adams By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out. Richard Dawkins I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. Emo Philips Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. Josh Billings I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done. Steven Wright If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance. George Bernard Shaw Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter. James A. Garfield Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. Mel Brooks |
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