Okay,

Whoooof.

This account is 13 years in the making. Not entirely, but after reading on here for over a decade, I decided it's time to finally make a profile.

I like never review. Maybe. Sometimes. Only lately.

I'm horribly critical to the majority of what's being written here nowadays. I will pretty much never say anything horrible to anyone about it, it's all in my head.

I love to write. I will absolutely never have either the time nor the balls to post anything I write.

I've thought about being a beta; hey, a free read before anyone else and love being an asshole about grammar and syntax, so why not?

The angstier, the better; make me cry, bitch.

I've got a cat. He's an asshole. And like, totally my world. He rules me.

I have snobby taste for the literature I read: no horrible typos, no obnoxiously run on sentence/paragraph/story structure, nothing that seems like you obviously just wanna write about yourself and who you wish you would be, with your cool hair and over explained outfits, anything with an obvious lack of natural progression by the first chapter. I loathe OCs. Once again, with their ridiculously over the top name, it's who you wish you were.

There's like, so much more.

The majority of the stories I eventually come across that I enjoy and find decent, never get finished. But I have been on a little bit of a lucky streak lately.

This will all very most likely change as I think of more wittier (nothing here is witty at all) and asshole (all of it is asshole) things to say.

Now I'm gonna go track down every story I've ever liked in 13 years and save it. Y'all get a prize; the highly coveted "Lavender's Acknowledgment of Decent Story Writing" Award.

See, still asshole