shatter714
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Joined 03-26-08, id: 1534669, Profile Updated: 07-15-08
Author has written 1 story for Twilight.

Hey guys! I'm shatter714!

Thing about me!!

I live in Canada!

I love to read! I also love to draw, writing and going camping!

I'm normally really really hyper!

Right now I am working on my first fanfic called The Other World! I'm not very good at these, but I hope you like it!

I'm majorly obsessed with Edward Cullen AND Jacob Black AND Ian O'Shea!!

Favourite books: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, (soon to be) Breaking Dawn and Midnight Sun, THE HOST, the Saga of Darren Shan, The Demonata, Inkheart, Inkspell, Eragon, Eldest, Harry Potter Series, Lord of the Rings, and anything that involves Dragons or Fantasy! =)

Random things

Not now! I'm thinking about Twilight!

If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman kind...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever tried blocking your thoughts about how georgous Edward Cullen is because you don't want said georgous Edward Cullen to hear, copy and paste this into your profile!

If your so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think it's vampires playing ball, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever fallen down the stairs and laughed because it's something Bella would do and then cried because Edward wasn't there to catch you, copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you have AACIBD put this in your profile! (Addicted to All the Cullen's Including Bella Disorder!)

If when you have a boy, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile!

I like my men pale, immortal and bloodthirsty!! (Hell yeah!)

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

Edward Cullen, highering the standards for any future boyfriend!

Edward Cullen. Dammit! Why aren't you real!!

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU LIVE IN THE YEAR 2008!

You know you live in 2008 when...

1.) You accidentaly enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) and you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

RENTHEADS ROCK!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style. Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh. Crazy is when you start saying different names from random shows wit your friend just to see who knows more names. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

If you have ever been kidnapped and nearly eaten by evil flying squirrels before your vampire boyfriend saved you, then you found a flamethrower and vanquished the squirrels shouting “Die, squirrel beasts, die!”, copy this into your profile.

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck fan-girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile

If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile.

If people mistake you for a vampire (cough cough or you are one cough cough)...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you know what a lemon fly is(for those who dont, it is a mythicle lemon with wings. ha! now you know!)

If you have a problem with counsoulors, copy and paste!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s Including Bella Disorder.

AV is Addicted to Vampires

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands...and then copy and paste this into your profile.-

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile

If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro!

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door

I live in a world of Rainbows, hearts and Unicorns. The rainbow is only in shades of grey and black, The hearts are broken and bleeding and the unicorn are cutting them selves with their horns... All in all it's my perfect life=D

'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

I could tell you what happened in the first chapter of Eclipse, but then I would have to kill you.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

if you are addicted to copy and pastes, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

I have read New Moon and Eclipse and when i did i wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY hard! (then i said screw that, I might as well just kill him, and then he says I can kill vampires you know, I'll just say... Bet you wish you were a vampire now...)

They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly i think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," i don't think many people would be dead...

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. But a best friend will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

P.S I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy.

Edward Cullen I love you! Oops! Did I say that out loud?

We're on a bridge CCHHAARRLLIIEE.

We are going to Candy Mountain Cchhaarrlliiee! A land of sweets and joy... and joyness.

Oh god! They took my freaking kidney!

It's a Leoplurodon Cchhaarrlliiee. A magical Leoplurodon

if they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

If you'r a person who acts friendly, but has an evil mind and is planning to dominate the world, copy this to your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" -Unknown

"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.

Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock!

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

"You cry I cry,You laugh I laugh,You jump off a cliff I laugh harder"

"When all else fails blow shit up."

"Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again

"Here's a toast -- To those who challenge us to mind games, but forget to bring their equipment!"-Anonymous

"Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

"If you can't laugh at yourself make fun of other people"

To put it nicely, I hope you choke

"True love is when you don't want to sleep because real life is so much better than a dream"

Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them

I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

I used to be indicisive, now I'm not sure

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Real life isn't free, but i'd pay anything to have it

real life isn't full of happily ever afters, just bursts of happiness that don't last very long

my imaginary friend doesn't like you either

i hate it wen the voices argue wit my imaginary friends


Smile. It confuses people.
If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?

If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

The world is cruel... get used to it!

Not all scars fade, not all wounds heal.

If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.

The evil gnomes poked me in the bum wit a stick.

Chasing little green midgets in tu-tus around with a rabid turkey sandwich, be back when pigs fly.

Hey,I'm a silly peanut who's gonna be turned into peanut butter, and I like noodles. What does this all mean? ...POOF...I'm gone!

How many toes does a fish have how many wings on a cow i wonderyup i wonder!

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb?...Wait I just thought of something that would be good for making...ooooooooo something shiny!!

"Americans worship money. I have been looking for god all my life and he is right in my pocket." -Chris Rock

Hope is a good thing, perhaps the best of things and no good thing ever dies, except my dog scruffy, he got hit by a car.

If you're in a hurricane and a tree falls, what sound does a cow make on the 4th of July in a blizzard?

Welcome to the world of very scary fearies!

For those who think fearies are innocent little creatures...

Killing gnomes with sporks!

If youre paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Icecream doesn't have bones!!

Not the leprachans again!! They are back, they are back! Get away! Hide your pets! They are back!

Purple monkeys r coming.purple monkeys r coming ...HIDE...

The cheese sat next to the banana!!

Watch out for the gopher!! He will turn you into blue pancakes...

Would you like a cookie? So would I.

You see, the problem here is that my little brother this morning, got his arm caught in the microwave and uh my grandmother dropped acid and she freaked out and hi-jacked a school bus full of penguins so you see it?s kind of a family crisis so?come back later?.

You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that mother fucker upside the head

Pass it on...

Boys...

...are dumb, throw rocks at them.
...are like a box of chocolates...You never know which one has nuts.
...are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.
...are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
...are not pigs. Pigs are cute, considerate, and caring.
...suck...espesially on days that end with a "y"

...are like public toilets, either taken or full of crap.
10 things good about men:1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10.Tell me when you think of one..while you think I'll nap...

A pretty girl can kiss a guy, a bird can kiss a butterfly, the rising sun can kiss the grass, but you my friend!! Yes You!! YOU CAN KISS MY ASS!!

Don't take it personaly.. but you smell like an ice cube

I am not anti-social..I just don't like you

How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I'll get back to you...

That's right, the mindless jabber on the radio right now is more interesting than you... leave a message and I'll think about answering.

I am not currently available right now. However, if you would like to be transfered to another correspondent, please press the number that best fits your personality:
-If you are obsessive compulsive, please press "1" repeatedly.
-If you are codependant, please ask someone to press "2".
-If you have multiple personalitites, please press "3", "4", and "5".
-If you are paranoid delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace your call.
-If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the little voice will tell you which number to press.
-If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter what number you press, no one will answer.

A day without sunshine is like... night.

A rabbi, a priest, and a duck walked into a bar. The bartender looked up and said, "What is this? A joke?"

A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water!

Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot

Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!!

Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.

Don't Worry!, I don't know where I am either.

Help!ican'tfindthespacebar

am an evil poptart :! I am out collecting sprinkles for my breakfasty self.

I am on a quest to the deepest darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for a may not return alive.

I do what cheerios tell me.'

I'm a little teapot short and stout; here is my hande, here is my...other handle? Shit. now i'm a sugar bowl

If I'm not back in 10 minutes, avenge my death.

OMG! you just ran into a pole

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Never argue with me, I'll drag you down to my level and beat you with a bat.

Sorry I am being Chased by 6 Penguins and they seem to want my ButterFinger but damnit they can't have it. So I will be back after I have run them over with my Barbie Car.

OMG... Edward!

Sorry guys! I got really bored and had nothing better to do!!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Family Tree by Marble Meadow reviews
Bella researches her family tree and finds out some shocking secrets. Will her love for Edward survive through all of the obstacles heading their way? Can Bella once again escape from the danger that always follows her? Complete with epilogue.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 33 - Words: 107,616 - Reviews: 352 - Favs: 207 - Follows: 195 - Updated: 4/1/2009 - Published: 5/20/2007 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Sparkling Angel by vampvixen01 reviews
FULL SUMMARY ON THE 1ST CHAPTER. Set in New Moon when Edward leaves, Bella befriends a new vampire. But what will Edward's reaction be when he returns to protect Bella from the danger she's about to face?Lots of drama!Better than it sounds, i promise!lol
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 76,953 - Reviews: 1521 - Favs: 718 - Follows: 291 - Updated: 12/30/2008 - Published: 3/14/2008 - Complete
How to Lose a Vampire in 10 Days by Rosalie McCarty reviews
Bella's assignment is to date a guy and do whatever it takes to make him dump her. The Cullen's have bet that Edward can't keep a girl for no more than 10days. With a job and Cullenfied bets on the line, falling in love isn't going to help.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 40,240 - Reviews: 724 - Favs: 441 - Follows: 251 - Updated: 5/14/2008 - Published: 2/15/2008 - Complete
Undecided by forever.drifting.in.my.world reviews
Bella finds herself unable to decide who she truly loves, and soon she finds herself cheating on Edward. But what will happen when she finds herself pregnant? Whos the dad?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 886 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 5/12/2008 - Published: 5/11/2008
Eric, THE Edward by Child-Of-God13 reviews
Another part of the 'Impressing Bella' Series...... Eric has also been competing for Bella's attention....
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 824 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 15 - Published: 5/6/2008 - Complete
Raining Hammers by little miss laugh alot x reviews
Third place winner in Irish Froggy's THE MIKE CHALLENGE. Mike has a plan to steal Bella's heart. One-Shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,629 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 11 - Published: 3/19/2008 - Complete
Truth or Dare, Cullen style! by vampirelurver979 reviews
What happens when Bella agrees to play truth or dare with the Cullens? Why is Bella dressed up as Pikachu? Why is Mike kissing Edward? What's the connection between Edward and his precious Volvo? Read and find out.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 15,865 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 129 - Updated: 12/17/2007 - Published: 9/23/2007
Edward's Clorox Experience by Depp Addict reviews
Some fun innuendo's from the Twilight Lexicon come together in a wild out of control story for Edward and the Cullens! REVIEW PLEASE.. reated just in case..and a possible chapter 3 is coming fast! If you want to laugh... this is the story for you!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,700 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 6/22/2007 - Published: 6/21/2007
The Twilight Chat Room by Werewolf hunters reviews
what would happen if the twilight characters got screen names? 1 shot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 593 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 7 - Published: 5/10/2007 - Complete
Dr Phil's Couch by N.Sidney reviews
Skits describing the happenings of Jacob and Edward on Dr. Phil's couch, in Jerry Springer's uncomfortable looking chairs, and on Oprah's couch! Rated T for some mildly mature humor.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,957 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 8 - Published: 4/17/2007 - Complete
The Other World reviews
It's a week before the wedding, when something unexpected happens to Bella. Could this sudden change in their life ruin Bella and Edward's wedding? What will happen when the already weird world, finds itself crossed with the mythical ones from books! ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 9,268 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 5/11/2008 - Published: 4/12/2008