Hello! I'm ErinWallace98
I love BTR[especially Kendall Schmidt(he's just so attractive!!!), elephants, and SUGAR!!!!!!!!

My name is Erin. I live in Pittsburgh and I fully support all of its sports teams. Which also means I hate a lot of places due to their sports teams (you know who you are)!

My birthday is February 13th, 1998!! ( 15 years old!)
I absolutly hate Justin Beiber and One Direction!!!!!![I am sorry if this offends you... it's just what i feel]

Hilarious!!

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile !

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, copy this onto your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you're weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

Friend vs. Best Friend

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "THAT WAS FRICKING AWSOME"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt because they left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"

FRIENDS: would buy you a pregnancy test and support you though it all.

BEST FRIENDS: would buy you a pregnancy test and stand outside of the bathroom door and scream to you while you are taking the test. " NAME IT AFTER MEEEE!!!!"

FRIENDS: Have to be told not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: lunch buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will confort you when the guy rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'its becuase your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Will help you up when you fall

BEST FRIENDS: Will stand there and laugh.

FRIENDS: will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: will help you move a body.

FRIENDS: Always know what to say to make you feel better.

BEST FRIENDS: Say the first thing that pops into their head and hope it sounds right.

FRIENDS: will read this, laugh about it and ignore this letter.

BEST FRIENDS: Will read this , laugh about it, and repost this a million time!!!!

Friends are God's apology for relatives

Friends don't let friends do stupid things… ALONE!

One day a girl was talking to her boyfriend and she decided to ask him some questions:
"Do you like me?" She asked.
"No." was his reply
"Do you think I'm pretty?"
"No." he said again.
"Would you do one thing for me?" She asked, her heart breaking.
"No." he relpied
"Do you want me?"
"No."
"If I left right now, would you cry?" She asked, her heart would be completly broken if he answered...
"No." He said, the girl had enough and ran away. She felt someone stop her, she saw the boy and tried to get away but stopped when he started speaking.
"I don't like you, I love you. Your not pretty, your beautiful. I wouldn't do one thing for you, I would do anything for you. I don't want you, I need you. If you left, I wouldn't cry, I'd die." the boy told her. They lived happily ever after.

Come to the dark side, we have Hayden Christensen!
Come to the dark side, we have Anakin Skywalker!
Come to the dark side, we have cookies!!
So I see you finally came to the dark side. Sorry, we already ate all of the cookies!

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile.

If someone has ever told you that you were a Harry Potter nerd/ geek/ freak and you said "Thank you!" copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy and paste this into your profile.

List of kinds of writer's block:

A-B writer's block: You are at point A and you want to get to point B, but you have now clue on how to get there.
Wrong Word writer's block: You know what you want to say, you just don't know how to say it.
Hit the Wall writer's block: The worst kind. You have no idea where you're going or what to do, and the creative juices are frozen in an ice-tray
Distraction writer's block: You know what to write, it's just whenever you start to write, something distracts you.
Flame writer's block: Someone told you your story stinks, which damaged your self-esteem, so you no longer have the will to write.
Perfectionist writer's block: Your perfectionist sister read your story and is now making you go back and fix every single gramatical error before you continue.
Disinterest writer's block: You are no longer interested in the subject you were writing about.

(0.0)
( _ )...Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination!!!!

If you've met your near twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you have just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile!

If you think those idiot kids should just give that wolf his Cookie Crisp, copy this into your profile!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever just SLAPPED Someone who you don't like, then copy this into your profile!

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile! starred one apply to me or my friends:

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. *

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz *

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.*

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals*

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.*

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.*

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...*

I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore*

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.*

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.*

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.*

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".*

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.*

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.*

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.*

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.*

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.*

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.*

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.*

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.*

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.*

I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas

Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction

Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude*

Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.*

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.*

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.*

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black*

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.*

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.*

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob*

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.*

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.*

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.*

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.*

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.*

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.*

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.*

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.*

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.*

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy*

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.*

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.*

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED*

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.*

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.*

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.*

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.*(when you go to my school, everyone loves marching band)

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.*

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist*

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake*

I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems*

If Big Time Rush ruled the world: There would be no sickness (thanks to James). There would be free cinnamon roll Wednesdays (thanks to Kendall). There would be a dance party every day at 1 (thanks to Logan). Everyone would have nap time for at least an hour every single day (thanks to Carlos). Copy and paste this onto your profile if you think BTR should rule the world.

Month one

Mommy

I am only 8 inches long

but I have all my organs.

I love the sound of your voice.

Every time I hear it

I wave my arms and legs.

The sound of your heart beat

is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy

today I learned how to suck my thumb.

If you could see me

you could definitely tell that I am a baby.

I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.

It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy

I'm a girl!!

I hope that makes you happy.

I always want you to be happy.

I don't like it when you cry

You sound so sad

It makes me sad too

and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy

my hair is starting to grow.

It is very short and fine

but I will have a lot of it.

I spend a lot of my time exercising.

I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes

and stretch my arms and legs.

I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.

Mommy, he lied to you.

He said that I'm not a baby.

I am a baby Mommy, your baby.

I think and feel.

Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.

I don't like him.

He seems cold and heartless.

Something is intruding my home.

The doctor called it a needle.

Mommy what is it? It burns!

Please make him stop!

I can't get away from it!

Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy

I am okay.

I am in Jesus's arms.

He is holding me.

He told me about abortion.

Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak...

Getting an abortion is killing someone who never got to live. Don't kill a life, save one. If you don't believe in abortions, copy and paste this into your profile

95 percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want child abuse to STOP, copy and paste this into your profil.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If your a choc aholic, talk aholic or a shop aholic, then copy and post this into your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love Big Time Rush, put this in your profile

J

JA

JAM

JAME

JAMES

JAMES M

JAMES MA

JAMES MAS

JAMES MASL

JAMES MASLO

JAMES MASLOW

JAMES MASLO

JAMES MASL

JAMES MAS

JAMES MA

JAMES M

JAMES

JAME

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L

LO

LOG

LOGA

LOGAN

LOGAN H

LOGAN HE

LOGAN HEN

LOGAN HEND

LOGAN HENDE

LOGAN HENDER

LOGAN HENDERS

LOGAN HENDERSO

LOGAN HENDERSON

LOGAN HENDERSO

LOGAN HENDERS

LOGAN HENDER

LOGAN HENDE

LOGAN HEND

LOGAN HEN

LOGAN HE

LOGAN H

LOGAN

LOGA

LOG

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CA

CAR

CARL

CARLO

CARLOS

CARLOS P

CARLOS PE

CARLOS PEN

CARLOS PENA

CARLOS PENA J

CARLOS PENA JR

CARLOS PENA J

CARLOS PENA

CARLOS PEN

CARLOS PE

CARLOS P

CARLOS

CARLO

CARL

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CA

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K

KE

KEN

KEND

KENDA

KENDAL

KENDALL

KENDALL S

KENDALL SC

KENDALL SCH

KENDALL SCHM

KENDALL SCHMI

KENDALL SCHMID

KENDALL SCHMIDT

KENDALL SCHMID

KENDALL SCHMI

KENDALL SCHM

KENDALL SCH

KENDALL SC

KENDALL S

KENDALL

KENDAL

KENDA

KEND

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B

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BIG

BIG T

BIG TI

BIG TIM

BIG TIME

BIG TIME R

BIG TIME RU

BIG TIME RUS

BIG TIME RUSH

BIG TIME RUS

BIG TIME RU

BIG TIME R

BIG TIME

BIG TIM

BIG TI

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I L

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I LOV

I LOVE

I LOVE B

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I LOVE BIG

I LOVE BIG T

I LOVE BIG TI

I LOVE BIG TIM

I LOVE BIG TIME

I LOVE BIG TIME R

I LOVE BIG TIME RU

I LOVE BIG TIME RUS

I LOVE BIG TIME RUSH

I LOVE BIG TIME RUS

I LOVE BIG TIME RU

I LOVE BIG TIME R

I LOVE BIG TIME

I LOVE BIG TIM

I LOVE BIG TI

I LOVE BIG T

I LOVE BIG

I LOVE BI

I LOVE B

I LOVE

I LOV

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ღ

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ღ BIG TIME RUSH!

ღღღ

ø„"ºø„„øº" „øº"

"ºø„ Big Time Rush „øº"

„øº" ROCKS!! "ºø„

„øº"„øº""º ø„"ºø

Put this

(0) ll on your profile

if you like music

( )BTR( )

ONE DAY A DAD COMES HOME DRUNK AND MAD. HE PULLS OUT A GUN AND SHOOTS HIS WIFE AND THEN TURNS

THE GUN ON HIMSELF. HIS LITTLE GIRL SITS BEHIND THE COUCH CRYING. THE POLICE CAME AND TOOK THE

LITTLE GIRL TO A NEW FAMILY. HER FIRST DAY TO SUNDAY SCHOOL SHE WALKS INTO THE BUILDING AND

SEES A PICTURE OF JESUS ON THE CROSS.

THE LITTLE GIRL ASKS THE TEACHER: How did that man get

off the cross?

THE TEACHER REPLIED: He never did.

THE LITTLE GIRL ARGUED: Yes he did when mommy

and daddy fought he sat next to me behind the couch telling me everything was gonna be alright...

66 of u won't repost this. BUT REMEMBER THE BIBLE SAID, ''DENY JESUS IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS

AND I WILL DENY YOU IN FRONT OF MY FATHER."Repost this IF YOUR NOT ASHAMED. Let God's love spread.

I don't like hospitals. They reek of depression and death. If you agree then copy this into your profile!

When life hands you spam, snatch it and run to Hodgins and Zack so you can do an experiment.

When life hands you a crown, slam it on your head and scream, "I'm King/Queen of the Lab!"

When life hands you a "Cocky" belt buckle, throw it in a gift bag and put on Booth's desk.

Man, I dropped my bag of Doritos

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, shame on you. Fool me again, I’m beginning to see a pattern here.

I hate it when websites ask "Are you human?" Ummm, hello? Im obviously a unicorn! Duh!

They say money can’t buy happiness… but it can buy bacon, and that is pretty darn close.

Ever wonder how many strangers took a picture, with you in the background?

"Would You Like a Table?” … “No not at all, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground. Carpet for 5 please.”

"let go of my daughter you bitch"- Mrs. Weasley (HP 7.2)

Please copy and paste this in your profile if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone that may know someone who knows anyone. If you don't know anyone, or if you've heard of anyone who doesn't know anyone that doesn't know someone, then still copy this. It's important to spread the message. :) Oh, and the smily faces. Dont forget the smiley faces. :)

Funny Quotes And Random Things:

- Stupidity killed the cat. Curiousity was framed.

- Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

- I used all my sick days, so I called in dead...

- They say, "Guns dont kill people, people kill people.' Well, I think the gun helps, because if you just stood there and yelled, "BANG" I dont think you'd kill too many people.

- So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?

- Yeah, I'm a loser. But the coolest loser you'll ever meet.

- Save the Earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

- No, I won't go to Hell! It has a restraining order against me.

- You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

- When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because, I mean, really? Who likes lemons?

- When Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

- When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.

- Life isnt passing me by; it's trying to run me over.

- Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

- I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept!

- Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide.

- I live in my own little world. But it's okay, they know me there.

- The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

- Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend.

- If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from?

- Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking leeches?

- You cry, I cryg. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

- Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable. But that is called 'cannibalism' my dear children, and it is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

- I used to be normal... until I met those freaks I call my friends.

- I got you a present; it's a CD. I hope you haven't got it, because I don't have a receipt... and I didn't exactly buy it...

- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!

- When in doubt, make up words!

- Home is not where you live, but where they understand you.

- If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you!

- If you're gonna be two-faced, sweetie at least make one of them pretty.

- All work and no play means you will die in seven days... dun dun duuun.

- I run with scissors; it makes me feel dangerous.

- Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; its already tomorrow in Australia.

- Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

- You say I'm not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I'm not cold then I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thank You for embracing it!

- Come to the Dark Side... we have cookies!

- One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

- Give a person a fish and feed them for a day, teach them how to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks!

- Before you critisize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes!

-The statistics of insanty is that 1 of every 5 people have a mental illness. Look at your four best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.

- When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

- A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

- Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

- There is no "I" in team but there is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

- Music is like candy: You throw away the (w)rappers.

- The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

- Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.

- What happens if you get scared half to death twice? That's a really good question... I wonder...

- My mind works like lightning... one brilliant flash and it's gone.

- Do not take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

- If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

- Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

- Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.

- I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something sparkly.

- Don't hit kids. No, seriously, they have guns now.

- WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus.

- If your heart was really broken you'd be dead, so shut up.

- Yes, I do use my hairbrush as a microphone and dance around in my underwear. Thank you very much.

- I don't have a dog... I eat my own homework. I'm not random, I just have many tho- OOH, LOOK! A SQUIRREL!

- Please: Don't throw your cigarette butt's on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.

- There are three kinds of people: Those who can count, and those who can't.

- Welcome to the internet, pants optional.

- Warning: Trespassers will be shot, Survivors will be shot again.

- If I throw a stick, will you go away?

- Some people are like a slinky : not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push then down the stairs!

- Only in America …1. Can. Pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Do banks leave both doors open but chain the pens to the counter. 3. Do they have drive up ATM machines with brail lettering. 4. Do people order a double cheese burger, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Do we leave cars worth thousands of dollies but put our worthless junk in the garage!

- Rawr- it means I love you in dinosaur.

- Do it today- it might be illegal tomorrow!!

- Mommy says I'm SpEcIaL!!!

-I'm the type of person who could watch hundreds if scary movies and not get scared but scream bloody murder when toast pops out of the toaster.

- I didn't hit you I simply high-fived your face!

- it takes skill to trip over flat surfaces;)

- Everything good is either illegal, fattening, or bad

- Beware if sleep deprived mother!!

- It's so fluffy I'm gonna die!!!!

- I must lick you!!!!

- I love my crazy friends!( you know who you are!!!)

- Just shut up and kiss me already!!!

- They keep saying the right person will come along; I think a truck hit mine.

- Too many freaks, not enough circus's!

-" I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth!"

-I wasn't born a bitch; men like you made me that way.

-A Day Without Sunshine Is Like, You Know, Night

-I’m Not A Complete Idiot; Some Parts Are Missing.

-Idiots surround me!

-Someday your prince will come. Mine got lost, took a wrong turn, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

-Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural

-Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

-Hippopotomonstrosesquippedali phobia - Fear of long words."

- I LIKE TURTLES!!!!!!!

-If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste!

"And that happened in like the 1800s... right?"

-"The leg is NOT in my pants!

-"HAHAHA... no."

-"Say whhaaaaa???"

-"Coolio Vondoolio"

-"I-I knew that"

-"I'm a bush, I'm a bush, I'm a tree, I'm a tree, I'm a bush-tree, I'm a bush-tree"

-"Okay, that is definetly not pee!"

-"PISH POSH!"

-"Who's my little rump shaker?"

-"No, I'm actually younger than him... suprising isn't it?"

-"Ahh, pudding. It makes the world go round"

-"HE WILL BE MMMIIINNNEEE!!"

-"Yes, I'm aware that the cap is still on"

-"SHOCKER!"

-"And the problem with that is...?"

-If sarcasm is your first and favorite language, then copy and paste this into your profile.

-R.I.P.- Cedric Diggory, Sirius Black, Albus Dumbledore, Alastor Moody, Hedwig, Dobby, Colin Creevy, Nymphadora Tonks, Remus Lupin, and Fred Weasley. They will never be forgotten.

-98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

-There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. When you argue with yourself and LOSE is when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

-If you wondered why Malfoy always wears a black suit, although he is pure blood and it would make more sense for him to be wearing robes like his father, copy and paste this on to your profile.

-Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you'd be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF!!

-Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you cried when Fred Weasley died ((in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)), and not afraid to admit it, copy, paste this on your profile

You know your addiction to Harry Potter is getting dangerous when you've added words like "Voldemort", "Hogwarts", and "Marauders" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done that, copy this into your profile

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you like to pretend that Fred Weasley never died, copy and paste this on to your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile

If you believe that straight, gay, bi, and lesbian people are all equal and entitled to their beliefs, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If it completely pisses you off when someone says being gay is gross, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe that at least half of your grade at one point or another have been or will be in a jail/ a juvenile detention center and/or a mental center before they graduate college copy and paste this into your profile

If Fan-fiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're part of the 7 percent that would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy this into your profile

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you think the school week is way too long and weekends are way too short, copy this onto your profile.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Why when we look in a mirror its consitered looking at ourselves but really were just looking at a piece of glass?

"You guys line up alphabetically by height."

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history

(.• (.•pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.

If you're IN LOVE with Big Time Rush, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think Kendall Schmidt's bushy eyebrows are sexy then copy an paste this into your profile.

If you have NO problem with homosexuality, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you're the shortest person in your family, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think all those uptight overly-religeous weirdos should just sit down, shut up, and leave Halloween on Sunday ALONE, copy and paste this to your profile.

98% of girls would follow Robert Pattensen if he jumped off a building. If you're part of the two perecent who would grab some popcorn and fight over front-row seats to watch, copy and paste this to your profile. LOL! XD

97 percent of teenage girls would cry I'd Justin Bieber jumped of a building, the other 3 percent would scream do a flip. I am proudly in the 3 percent category!

If you want to join the fight to END animal cruelty, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are concerned that the world will end at the end of 2012 just think it will be 2013 earlier in Australia so if it hasn't ended about 23 hours before 2013 starts in your town then it will doubtfully end!

If you hate homework, copy and paste this into your profile.

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Are you done? If so, scroll down (Don’t cheat--)

THE ANSWERS 1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose: Red: You are alert and your life is full of love. Black: You are conservative and aggressive. Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you Love. Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are Down.

3. If you’re initial is: A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to Blossom. S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in: Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you Fall in love with someone totally unexpected. Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but The memories will last forever. July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life Changing experience for the good. Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your Soul mate.

5. If you choose... Black: Your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time But will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do Anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose... California: You like adventure. Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose... Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday

Dora the exporer is soo an Illegal Immigrant...

Ok, so here's the deal... If you need the explanations they're

all around you...

1) She speaks spanish... she speaks spanish perfectly... what

is she like...5? Her backpack even speaks spanish perfectly!

2) That backpack

of hers has EVERYTHING in it! And we're talking everything! Life support,

water/food, clothing for any weather, ropes, grappling hooks, shoes... i mean

c'mon!

3) She's carrying a freaking ZOO with her! I mean, she has a monkey, an

band of insects, a bajillion other animals! Really! What kind of legal

immigrant has that many pets!?

4) She's always on an "adventure" to

transport a "package" to some destination and is always being

stalked by a person trying to take that package... i mean... really, Swiper is

so obviously some sort of border patrol person trying to collect evidence of

Dora's entire narcotics trafficing buisness

5)The evidence is so obvious and

around you guys! And they're even poisoning our little children with them...

Who wants our toddlers to grow up knowing spanish before english?!

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me! I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose. My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

When you were 5, your mom gave you a ice cream cone. You thank her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind.

When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming class to soccer and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back.

When you were 10, your mom payed for piano classes. You thanked her by never coming to class.

When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thanked her by talking on the phone all night.

When you were 14, your mom payed for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter.

When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got.

When you were 17, your mom drove you to the mall and gave you her credit card. You thanked her by maxing it out.

When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn.

When you were 20, your mom drove you to collage. You thanked her by saying good-bye to her outside the drom so you wouldn't have to say bye in front of your friends.

When you were 26, your mom payed for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world.

When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents became to children.

Then, one day, she quietly died and everything you did came crashing down on you.

If YOU love your mom, re-post this and if you don't, you won't care if your mom dies, will you?

HOW GUYS FLIRT: 1. He stares at you alot. 2. He hits you alot. (just play hitting ) 3. He uses the first thing that pops into his head to start a converstaion with you 4. He yelled, "Hi!", to your mum that day she picked you up from school. 5. He blew off his buds to go see "Brown Sugar" with you cuz you couldn't get another girl pal to go and didn't want to go alone. 6. He tries to make you laugh anyway even if he gets hurt in the process 7. His voice gets softer when ever you two talk. 8. You hung up on him. He called you back. 9. You were invited by him to a group outing. 10. He called you to talk about nothing at all. 11. He imitates your laugh. OK, you do laugh PRETTY LOUD. Which makes you laugh even harder... 12. He remembers little things you mention in casual conversation 13. He sometimes stares straight into your eyes. 14. He uses every possible way to touch you (your hair, face, thighs, KNEES,ect.) HOW GIRLS FLIRT: 1.She calls you by your full name not just a nick name. 2. She hits you softly on the arm and laughs when you say something funny. 3. She flips her hair when she's talking to you. 4. She touches your arm when she talks to you. 5. She says, "No, I'm not telling you who I like!" with a big smile on her face. 6. She asks you who you like or who you would go out with seemingly interested. 7. When you go to the movies with a bunch of your friends and she is almost always next to you. 8. She criticizes you on a girl you like. 9. You catch her staring at you. 10. She plays with your hair or tries to put make up on you. 11. Her friends outside of school and in school know about you, and says she talks about you a lot. 12. She knows your phone number and address. ( stalker much? ) 13. She will try and talk, and spend time with you as much as possible Now make a wish... Ok stop! Your wish will come true if you repost this if you don't repost this then you will never get asked out or you will lose the one u love?! repost this in 15 min and your wish will come true in 5 days. repost this in 10 min and your wish will come true in 3 days. repost this in 5 min and your wish will come true in 1 day

Sweetness

This is really sweet...

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody couldn't miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your handin front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".

If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.

If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.

Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.

Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.

So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.

If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity.

Repost this to your profile, and spare yourself the emotional stress.

Homophobia and You: They're people too! Stop the hate and spread the love!

46 Ways To Annoy a Non-Harry Potter Fan:

1) Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter books or movies.

2) Crowd their in box with Harry Potter related emails, make the subject misleading.

3) Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their b-day and demand they cherish it 4-ever.

4) Pretend you can do magic.

5) Yell "CRUCIO" whenever they insult Harry Potter.

6) If your late for something blame it on your broken time turner.

7) Sort every person you meet in to one of the four houses.

8) Say "Lumos" every time you turn on a light.

9) If your asked to retrieve something shout "Accio" loudly.

10) Refuse to wash your hair and explain you're going for the Snape look.

11) Spend hours at a time trying to make your broom fly.

12) Tap all brick walls you encounter with an umbrella.

13) Demand to know what exactly the function of a rubber duck is.

14) Carry around a hip flask and refuse to drink anything anyone else offers you.

15) Hum the Harry Potter theme all day long.

16) Talk to animals and insist that they're animagi.

17) Walk up to random people and ask if their initials are R.A.B.

18) Tell them that they're almost as smart as Grawp.

19) Refuse to tell them who Grawp is.

20) Whenever it gets foggy outside scream "The Dementors are coming!" and hide for days at a time.

21) Point at modern electronic devices and say "Look at that! The things these muggles come up with!"

22) Point and grunt and insist that your speaking troll.

23) Take them to a CD store and make them look for the new Weird Sisters Album.

24) Always speak with a British accent, especially if your not from the U.K.

25) Draw round glasses and a lightening bolt scar on every poster you come across.

26) Constantly compare them to Mrs. Figg.

27) Laugh evilly if they ask who Mrs. Figg is.

28) Complain loudly about how your pictures don't move.

29) Break any awkward silences by saying "How 'bout them Chudley Canons."

30) Say "Alhomora" every time you open a door.

31) Every time you see them demand an explanation of why they don't like harry potter.

32) Say everything in a sing-song voice like Luna Lovegood.

33) Shriek loudly and say that you're speaking Mermish.

34) If they ask you about the weather solemnly say, "Mars is bright tonight."

35) Pretend your under an invisibility cloak and shout "You can't see me!"

36) Knit them a maroon jumper every year, especially if maroon isn't there color.

37) Draw the sign of the Hallow on every surface in the house.

38) While playing chess with them, stare at your pieces and give them verbal commands.

39) Throw the chess board across the room when the pieces don't move.

40) When one of the movies is on TV remind them every five minutes.

41) Refer to random people as "You-Know-Who."

42) Start swatting at the air saying there's a wrackspurt around.

43) Ask them to help you study for your O.W.L.'S

44) Walk around bumping into walls explaining your looking for the Room of Requirement.

45) Run up to random men with long dark hair and scream "SIRIUS! I always knew you were alive!"

46) Tell them that You-Know-Who was defeated today. When they ask who's you-know-who pretend to be offended and don't tell them who he is.

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,

" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,

"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

2. Run through the isles shouting; "ITS GONNA BLOW! EVERYBODY GET OUT"

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,

whisper, "Pick me! Pick me!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream:

"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose YOU!"

Repost this if you laughed, or if you plan on doing any of those things!!

Female come backs

Man: Where have you been all my life?

Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?

Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?

Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?

Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?

Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.

Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.

Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together

Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.

Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost

this...

If you don't resend this then your love life will be doomed for eternity.

GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"

A guy gets a girl 11 real roses and one fake rose. When he gave her the 12 roses, he said,"I'll love you until the last one dies.

1)Are you:

Short?

Average?

Tall?

2)Are you:

Skinny?

Average?

Pleasantly plump?

3)Are your eyes:

Blue?

Brown?

Hazel?

Green?

4)What is your favorite color out of all of these?

Baby Blue

Red

Purple

Black

Pink

Green

Yellow

5)Where is your dream place to live?

Hawaii

Puerto Rico

NewYork

Paris

6)What is your favorite pet out of all of these?

Dog

Cat

Fish

Hamster

7)What's your dream date?

Movie

Arcade

Candle Light Dinner

Amusement Park

8) Name a person of the opposite gender!

9) Name a person of the same gender!

10) Make a wish!

ANSWERS:

1)Short=Adorable=15

Average=Popular=10

Tall=Hot=5

2) Skinny=Sweet=10

Average=Fun=15

Pleasantly plump=Nerdy=1

3) Blue=Sweet=10

Brown=Sexy=15

Hazel=Sensitive=20

Green=Caring=5

4) Baby Blue=Cool and Calm=30

Red=Anxious and Energetic=10

Purple=Laid Back=15

Black=Gothic=7

Pink=Girlie Girl=10

Green=Outcast=5

Yellow=Preppy=20

5) Hawaii=Laid back=25

Puerto Rico=Party animal=20

New York=People pers10

Paris=Love to shop=15

6) Dog=Great and lovable friend=20

Cat=Curious and adventurous=15

Fish=Boring=5

Hamster=Dorky=3

7) Movies=You like to make-out=15

Arcade=Total dork=4

Candlelight dinner=Romantic=20

Amusement Park=Adventurous=16

8) This person will ask you out...

9) This person will hate you...if you dont copy and paste this quiz

10) This wish will come true if you REPOST NOT REPLY

Okay now add it all up...

90 and above=UR SEXY!

70-89 points= HOTTIE WITH A BODY!!

50-69 points= Cute n Cool

7-49 points= geek that reeks!!

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.

7. Say "DING!" at each floor.

8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

21. Swat at flies that don't exist.

22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.

23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.

33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell people that you can see their aura.

35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body"

37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

WHAT A KISS MEANS

Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready"

Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever"

Kiss on the Ear = "You're my everything"

Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"

Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"

Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together"

Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"

Kiss on the Lips = "I love you"

What the gesture means...

Holding Hands = "we definitely love each other"

Slap on the Butt = "That's mine"

Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go"

Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you"

Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me"

Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go"

Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you"

picking someone up off their feet = "that they love them fully and would do anything for them"

--Advice--

Dont ask for a kiss, take one

If you were thinking about someone while reading this,

you're definitely in Love.

DID YOU KNOW:

-Kissing is healthy. -

-Bananas are good for cramps.

-Chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

-Its true. Guys DO insult you if they like you.

-Having someone rub your tummy when it hurts actually helps it.

-89% of guys woul...d want girls to make the first move.

-Girls love it when Guys hug them from behind the waist...

-Chocolate makes you feel better.

-Girls love it when guys let them wear their hoodie or jacket.

-Guys think its cute when you mess up.

-A true friend will NEVER judge you.

-There is only one guy who is worth your tears.

-If you have a dream about someone, then that person went to sleep thinking about you.

-More guys than girls will read this.

- Everyone likes surprises.

Now make a wish. Wish really hard! Wish before reading on. * * * * * * * You wish will be received tomorrow. Your wish will only come true if you copy and paste this to your profile page.

1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children (so we have children's aspirin...that children can't get to)

2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts (Really? Now that's shocking...Seriously, I think that was life changing)

3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping (Dang. I've become addicted to sleep-hair-curling. This will never work!)

4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire (And here I thought it was ice. Face-palm!)

5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking (You mean we can't chew through all that frozen goodness?)

6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado (Does this mean people can use it to protect themselves from hurricanes?)

7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts (Uhhh...I kinda thought frisbees were all one piece...Do they come with batteries now or something?)

8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children (So now sticking them in kids' stomachs when they don't behave is out of the question. That's not abusive or dangerous, now is it?)

9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found hdoing so will be prosecuted. (So there's going to be a trial during that person's funeral. Sounds like fun!)

10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping (You mean it's not a substitute for whipped cream? NO WAY!)

11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regular soap (As opposed to non-regular soap?)

12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness (So that's why we take them! I thought they were a replacement for coffee)

13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required (You mean puzzles don't come all put together in one box?)

14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use (Uhhh...I don't think I even want to know)

On Sears hairdryer:

Do not use while sleeping.

(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:

Directions: Use like regular soap.

(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:

Serving suggestion: Defrost.

(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)

Do not turn upside down.

(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

Product will be hot after heating.

(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

Do not iron clothes on body.

(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:

Do not drive car or operate machinery.

(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:

Warning: may cause drowsiness.

(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:

Warning: keep out of children.

(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..

On a string of Christmas lights:

For indoor or outdoor use only.

(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:

Not to be used for the other use.

(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:

Warning: contains nuts.

(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..

On a Swedish chainsaw:

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:

Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

ღღღ Put ღღღ

ღღღ Dis ღღღ

ღღღ On ღღღ

ღღღ Ur Channelღღღ

ღღღ If U Love ღღღ

ღღღ (BTR) Big Time Rush FOREVER

This next ones not really funny but my BFF wrote it and it was really good! ENJOY!!!

Why...

Why do we learn,

If we will forget?

Why do we try the impossible,

If we know we will never succeed?

Why do we try to listen,

If we are deaf?

Why do we try to see,

If we are blind?

Why do we try to be creative,

If we were born dull?

Why is there love,

If hate is stronger?

Why do we laugh,

If there is nothing funny?

Why is there good,

If there is more evil?

Why are we told to do things,

If we are our own people?

Why are we given hope,

If there is nothing to hope for?

Why are we given luck,

If we cannot win?

Why are we given a choice,

If it makes no difference?

Why do we live,

If we know we will die?

Because there is always

A possibility.

And God gives us

That possibility.

You Know You Live In 2012 When You...

1.)You accidentally enter you password on a microwave.

2.)You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.)As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you keep reading this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.)And you were to busy to notice number 5

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.)Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did!

There's a 13 year old girl, and she wished

that her dad would come home from

the army, because he'd been having

problems with his heart and right

leg. It was 2:53 p.m . When she made

her wish. At 3:07 p.m. (14 minutes

later), the doorbell rang, and

there her Dad was, luggage and all!!

I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been

having trouble in my job and on the

verge of quitting. I made a simple

wish that my boss would get a new

job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55

there was an announcement that he

was promoted and was leaving for

another city. Believe me...this

really works!

My name is Ann and I am 45 years

of age. I had always been single

and had been hoping to get into a

nice, loving relationship for many

years. While kind of daydreaming

(and right after receiving this email)

I wished that a quality person would

finally come into my life. That was at

9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM

a FedEx delivery man came into my

office.He was cute, polite and

could not stop smiling at me. He

started coming back almost everyday

(even without packages) and asked me

out a week later. We married 6

months later and now have been

happily married for 2 years.

What a great email it was!!

Just scroll down to the end, but

while you do, think of a wish.

Make your wish when you have completed

scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the

number of minutes it will take for your

wish to come true. ex.you are 25 years

old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish

to come true).

Go for it!

SCROLL DOWN!

STOP!

Congratulations! Your wish will

now come true in your age minutes.

Now follow this carefully...it

can be very rewarding!

If you repost this within the next 5 min.

something major that you've been wanting

will happen.

This is scary!

The phone will ring right after you repost!

(O.o )o(/_._\)

／l、

（ﾟ､ ｡ ７

l、 ヽ

じしf,)ノ '''

Having a smoking section in a restaurant is a little like having a peeing section in a pool.

Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend’s forehead.

Sometimes people need what only friends can provide — Absence.

Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over the strings are attached.

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence. (A life sentence!)

Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness otherwise it’s hard to tell if someone is inconspicuous.

Be alert - the world needs more lerts.

Marriage certificate is just another name for a work permit.

Friends don’t let friends drive naked.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Never let a computer know you’re in a hurry.

With computers, every morning is the dawn of a new error.

To err is human. To really screw things up you need a computer.

If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure.

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you are in deep water.

Free advice is worth what you paid for it.

Anywhere is walking distance, if you’ve got the time.

People have the right to be stupid, but some abuse that privilege.

Join the army, meet interesting people, kill them.

Always remember, three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it.

an optimist is somone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says 'so far so good'

It's a scientific fact. For every year a person lives in Hollywood, they lose two points of their IQ.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

Ways to Make Sure You're Insane...

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy"

Ask your dog if it's comfortable with it's name. Repeat with cat, until people ask if you're alright.

As often as possible, skip rather than walk .

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go"

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme .

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because your not in the mood.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! they're loose!!"

. YOUR REAL NAME:

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle):

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav coulour and fav animal):

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (Middle name and current street name):

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (The first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of your mom's maiden name):

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favourite color, favorite drink):

7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of your siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name):

If you don't know what/who The Little Green Machine Marching Band is then you are a loser who has no life and needs to look them up now!!!!!!!! (Just look up Little Green Machine Marching Band!)

95 percent or teenagers would be pissed that their backpack got nuggeted on the bus, if you are part of the 5 percent that would be laughing your ass if the whole time then repost this!

So, I was watching the Daytona 500 and my bro told me a joke... " have you ever wondered how one could watch NASCAR, then you realize the kind of people that watch it and hundreds of shiny cars driving around in circles would entertain them for hours!" ( sorry if this offends you cuz you watch NASCAR, but I don't and I found it kind of funny)

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who is the oldest? …The blonde, because she's 18.

What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette? ...Artificial intelligence.
Why did the blonde nurse take a red magic marker to work? In case she had to draw some blood.

Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?... From crawling across the street when the pedestrian sign said "DON'T WALK".How do you confuse a blonde? ... You don't. They're born that way.What happened to the blonde who got locked in a grocery store? She starved to death.

You Say Pink I Say Purple

You Say Hannah Montana I Say Selena Gomez

You Say Jonas Brothers I Say Big Time Rush

You Say Zac Efron I Say Everyone is better then Zac Efron

You Say Rap I Say Pop

You say Zebra I say Elephant

You Say I'm Weird I Say Thank you, what was your first clue??

PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE IF You like it!!!

DO YOU

Play an instrument?: Clarinet and tenor saxophone

Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?: nope

Like to sing?: yea

Have a job?: no

Have a cell phone?: YUP!

Like to play sports?: softball

Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: Nope

Have a crush on someone?: for sure

Live somewhere NOT in the United States?: Nope

Have more than 5 TVs in your house?: exactly 5

Have any special talents/skills?: No really

Exercise daily?: sorta

Like school?: yes I don't have to deal with my family for 8 hours.

CAN YOU

Sing the alphabet backwards?: no

Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?: yes

Speak any other languages?: Some German

Go a day without food?: NEVER! Why would you ask me that question?

Remember your dreams: all the time

Read music, not just tabs?: yeah

Roll your tongue?: yes

Eat a whole pizza?: yep

HAVE YOU EVER

Won something in the lottery?: yah from a scratch ticket

Snuck out of the house?: I have no where to go.

Lied to get out of trouble?: oh yah

Had a computer crash?: daily

Gotten lost in your city?: yes

Seen a shooting star?: no

Been to any other countries?: nope

Had a serious surgery?: well if you call eye muscle surgery serious, considering it could have gone very wrong and I could be blind right now, then yes

Stolen something important to someone else?: No

Solved a rubiks cube?: haha boy do i wish i can

Gone out in public in your pajamas?: always

Cried over a girl?: NOPE!

Cried over a boy?: does it count that a boy slapped me across the face on the school bus in 4th grade.

Kissed a random stranger?: never

Hugged a random stranger?: never

Been in a fist fight?: no

Been arrested?: no

Done drugs?: NO

Had alcohol?: no

Laughed and had milk come out of your nose?: no

Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?: all the time

Sneaked into the opposite sex's bathroom?: no

Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/etc?: no

Swore at your parents?: no but I thought it

Kicked a guy where it hurts?: haha yes...

Been to a casino?: yes

Ran over an animal and killed it?: well my mon did it when I was in the car

Gotten stitches?: a couple times

Had a water balloon fight in winter?: yes!

Made homemade muffins?: yeah

Bitten someone?: absolutely

Been to disneyland/disneyworld?: twice

Burped in someone’s face?: too many to count

WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU

Brushed your teeth:this morning

Cried: couple days ago

Went to the bathroom: Why is that any of your concern

Saw a movie in a theatre: went to see the muppets with my BFFS

Read a book: this morning

Had a snow day: last year

Had a party: last month

Went to a doctors: end of last year

Tripped in front of someone: all the time

Went to the grocery store: last week

Got sick: last week

Got cursed: idk what that means

Called someone: yesterday

DO YOU PREFER

Fruit/vegetables: fruit

Black/white: both

Lights on/lights off: lights off

TV/movie: both

Body spray/lotion: Body spray

Cash/cheque: cash

Pillows/blankets: both

Headache/stomach ache: neither

Paint/charcoal: niether

Chinese food/Mexican food: ehh i love both

Summer/winter: summer (…Can u say short shorts and tank tops!!!!)

Snow/rain: snow

Fog/misty:misty ( it looks so pretty)

Rock/rap: Rock

Meat/vegetarian: meat

Chocolate/vanilla: vanilla

Sprinkles/icing: sprinkles in icing!!

Cake/pie: cake

Strawberries/blueberries: strawberries

Ocean/swimming pool: both

Cookies/muffins: Cookies

Wallet/pocket: neither I always have a purse

Window/door: Window

Kendall Schmidt /hutch dano: Kendall Schmidt

Pink/purple: both

Cat/dog: neither

Long sleeve/short sleeve: short sleeve

Pants/shorts: short shorts

Winter break/spring break: both

Spring/autumn: spring

Clouds/clear sky: Clear

Moon/mars: moon

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies.

You love jeans.

Dogs are better than cats.

It's hilarious when people get hurt.

You've played with/against boys on a team.

Sad movies suck.

You own/ed an X-Box.

Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.(once or twice...)

You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.

You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.

You watch sports on TV.

Gory movies are cool.

You own like a trillion baseball caps.

You like going to high school football games.

You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.

Baggy pants are cool to wear.

It's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.

Green, black, red, blue or silver are one of your favourite colours.

You love to go crazy and not care what people think.

Sports are fun

Talk with food in your mouth.

Sleep with your socks on at night.

TOTAL: 13

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/stick.

You love skirts.

Cats are better than dogs.

You love to shop.

You wear eyeliner.

You wear the colour pink.

Go to your mom for advice

Pink, yellow, orange, purple or gold is one of your favourite colours.

You hate wearing the colour black.

You like wearing jewellery (kinda)

Shopping is one of your favourite hobbies.

You don't like the movie Star Wars

It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed and make-up

You smile a lot more than you should.

You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.

You care about what you look like.

You like wearing dresses when you can.

You like wearing body perfume.

You love the movies.

Used to play with dolls as little kid.

Like being the star of every thing.

TOTAL: 13

Ha it's a tie!

MJ died at 58. Whitney died at 48. JFK died at 38. Amy Winehouse died at 28. Justin Bieber is 18 right!!!! May the profocy come true! Lol JK

MOM: what did u learn in school today, sweety??

ME: obviously not enough. I gotta go back tomorrow!

Selena: "Who says your not perfect?"

Miley: " Nobody's perfect"

P!nk: "You're f*cking perfect!"

I'm confused am I perfect or not????