FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "THAT WAS FRICKING AWSOME"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: lunch buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'its because your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter.
BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this!!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing

Man: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Woman: It's in the phone book

Man: But I don't know your name
Woman: That's in the phone book too

Man: I know how to please a woman
Woman: Then please leave me alone

Man: I can tell you want me
Woman: Ohhhh, your so right, I want you to leave

Man:My pretty face is leaving in ten minutes. Please, be on it.

Woman: Really, then it will be to smack you.

Man:Wanna go home and play Zookeeper? You be the lion and I'll feed you the meat.

Woman: If it's meat your giving me it better you because your DEAD meat to me

What a boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad, follow her

When she stares at your mouth, kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you, grab her and don’t let go

When she starts cussing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet, she's thinking of how to say I love you.

When she ignores you, give her your attention

When she pulls away, pull her back

When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying, just hold her and don’t say a word

When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared, protect her

When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steals your favorite hat, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up

When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand

When she grabs at your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does

When she misses you, she's hurting inside

When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away

When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers

When she re-post this bulletin, she wants you to read it

Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything

When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go

When she says she's okay, don’t believe it, talk with her, because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her, call her before you sleep and after you wake up

Treat her like she's all that matters to you

Tease her and let her tease you back

Stay up all night with her when she's sick

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid

Give her the world, let her wear your clothes

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her, let her know she's important

Kiss her in the pouring rain

When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Whose ass am I kicking babe?"

Boys don't be Blind If she likes you see it and Respond!