Ehhh, idk what to say; Hi? My name is Ninja :3

My birthday is 25/09/96, and I live in South-West Scotland. It's good to start with the basics, right? ._.

Fanfic Interests: Naruto, LoZ, Naruto, SSBB, Naruto, Kid Icarus, Naruto, Maximum Ride, mmm... I'm open to sugestions! (and spell-checks _;)

Hobbies: Playing Video games, YouTubing it up, browsing the vast land of the internetz, reading, watching TV/anime. Trying to will myself to pick up something productive, like I dunno, crafts XD

Favourite Pairings: I prefer fics that aren't entirely focused on lovey-dovey smush -_- It's like writing an interesting story would kill some people :C

Fanfic status: I don't really write fanfics because I have bad tendencies to change/scrap completely whatever I come up with and am too shy to let you read it anyway. Maybe I'll write some in the future? I had a story that was a One Piece/LoZ crossover (I know, how in the hell, right? XD) but...I kinda lost my nerve and deleted it *.*

...I've run out of things to say. I'm not entirely sure what is appropriote (again, feel free to tell me of my spelling mistakes, I am a REALLY bad speller)...(not too big on grammer either)...mmm...random junk that amused me when I was 13 and made this account? XD

Okay, here you go... T_T

WARNING: MOST OF THIS WAS COPIED FROM OTHER PEOPLE'S PROFILES .;;

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never-- aw f!@# this, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY!?!?"

(Summer time) "I miss my friends. I wanna go back to school!"
(First day of school) "Screw my friends. I wanna go home."

Dear Math,
We don't like solving your problems, so man the hell up and solve them on your own!

Dear Pringles,
Now that I am no longer a small child, I can no longer fit my adult hand inside your tube of deliciousness. Please work on this STAT!

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but the light bulb has to want to change.

"File... save" (File name already in use.) "JLKSKSLJF... save"

A woman knows all about her children. She knows about their best friend, romances, secret hopes and dreams, favorite food, fears, and dental appointments.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

You are driving on the road and you see a tree on the left side, a baby in the middle, and a telephone pole on the right. What would you hit?
Answer: brakes

"Do you look at your husband's face when you make love?"
"I did once and saw anger in his face."
"Why was he angry?"
"He was watching through the window.."

An angry wife meets her husband at the door. There's alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume that there's a very good reason you are waltzing in here at 6AM." she snarled. "There is," he replied. "Breakfast."

What would happen if Pinocchio were to say, "My nose is about to grow"?

Romantic movies make women believe that crap like that could actually happen... Kinda like men and porn...

I take you to be my lawfully wedded text buddy. To have and harass, in rich quotes and silly jokes, till dead battery do us part.

My wife was so sick this morning that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast.

If a stadium full of midgets was to do the wave, would that be a ripple?

Soldier: Sir, we are surrounded!
Major: Excellent! Now we can attack in any direction!

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted for her birthday. She said "something with a lot of diamonds." I hope she likes the deck of cards I got for her.

Justin Bieber's new album is coming out this weekend.
Also coming out: any man who buys it.

The biggest lie in history: "I have read and agreed to the terms..."

Every time I see the word "explain" on a test, a little part of me dies.

If the world doesn't end in December 21, 2012, there's gonna be a lot of babies born in September 2013.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, and not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Boy: There's a kid at school that keeps calling me a fag.
Dad: Well, punch him in the face!!
Boy: But he's soo cute..

I am as mad as a mosquito in a mannequin factory.

Can you tell your boobs to please stop staring at my eyes? thanks.

After reading the the sentence, you are now aware that the the human brain does not inform you that the the word "the" has been repeated twice every time.

After Monday and Tuesday, even the calender says W T F.

A woman's 4 favorite animals: a mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed, and an ass to pay for it all!

due tomorrow = do tomorrow.

What's the worst place to have a fire? The factory where they make those trick birthday candles.

Paper cut: tree's last revenge.

If I actually lived like there's no tomorrow, I'd be in jail.

Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing you will be an idiot in the future. Common sense is trying not to be an idiot right now.

I'm not lazy. I'm overflowing with potential energy.

"Does this dress make me look fat?"
"No, your fat makes you look fat."

I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
Another dime if you take your time.
A quarter if you go slower,
and a dollar if you can make me holler!

That new Robin Hood film isn't very historically accurate.
Everyone knows Robin Hood was a talking fox.

Pardon me, sir gangster, your trousers are descending.

If I had a nickel for every time you pissed me off, I would put those nickels in a sack and beat you with it.

I don't fear death but I do fear inconveniences, and death would be one hell of an inconvenience.

What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.

I hate weddings because old people always poke you and say, "you're next."
So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

A pregnant woman lapses into a coma as she gives birth to twins. When she awakes, she's told that her brother was asked to name the boy and the girl. "My idiot brother named them? Oh God, I just hope he didn't screw it up.. What did he name my daughter?" she asked the doctor. "Denise," the doctor replied. "Oh, that's not too bad. How about my son?" she asked. "Denephew"

Hey Cupid, can you shoot both of us next time?

Knock knock!
Who's there?
You love!
You love who?
I love YOU!!

You know what's ironic? Dying in the living room.

Today I decided that I want to be a ninja when I grow up. I searched the Internet for "Ninja School" to see where I can be professionally trained in the art. I followed a link that said Ninja School, and the page could not be found.
Well played, Ninja School!

Three Dreams of a Man:
1) To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
2) To be as rich as his child believes.
3) To have as many women as his wife suspects.

There are 2 kinds of people in this world: the ones who finish what they started, and...

I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.

What do you do when you're riding a horse full speed with a zebra to your right and a lion chasing you from behind?
Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round.

Why did the fish get kicked out of school?
Cause he was caught with seaweed.

Toyota's new slogan: Moving forward. even if you don't want to.

The more you study, the more you learn.
The more you learn the more you know.
The more you know the more you forget.
The more you forget the less you know.
So why study?

What is the difference between girls aged 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, & 68?
At 8 - you take her to bed & tell her a story
At 18 - you tell her a story & take her to bed
At 28 - you don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed
At 38 - she tells you a story & takes you to bed
At 48 - you tell her a story to avoid taking her to bed
At 58 - you stay in bed to avoid her story
At 68 - if you take her to bed, that'll be SOME STORY!!

A man wanted to help his wife make a password for the computer. He typed "MyPenis" and she fell over laughing when it said *ERROR: NOT LONG ENOUGH*

Last night I laid in my bed, looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the f*ck is the roof?"

A Jewish boy walks up to his father and asks, "Dad, can I have 50 dollars, please?" Dad replies, "40 dollars? What do you need 30 dollars for? I haven't got 20 dollars! Here's 10 bucks, share it with your sister."

The Friendship Prayer
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of whoever screws up your day. And may their arms be too short to scratch. Amen.

I have a body of a god... unfortunately, it's Buddha...

Why did the thermometer go to college? To get a degree.

Have you ever noticed that certain words mean completely different things to men and women? for instance, the word "facial"

Don't think of yourself as an ugly person, think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

When. I. Read. Stuff. Like. This. The. Voice. In. My. Head. Takes. Pauses.

Hey Harry! If I was one of the most powerful wizards that ever lived, I'm pretty sure correcting my own vision would be on the top of my magical things to do list.

Harry Potter Pick Up Lines
"Hey there, my little snuggle-muggle."
"Are you in Slytherin or Griffindor? Cause I'd like to Slytherin through YOUR Griffindor."
"Here's how you get to my place. Just hop on the Hogwarts Express at Platform Nine and Three-Quarters. Then when you get there, you can hop on something ELSE that's Nine and Three-Quarters."

S.C.H.O.O.L. = Severely Crappy Hours Of Our Lives

I wish my grades smoked weed so they would get high.

Remember when we were kids, how much we wanted to grow up? Man, we really were stupid.

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? fo drizzle.

Did you hear the one about the crossed eyed teacher? She couldn't control her pupils.

Paperclip: the staple for people with commitment issues.

I used to feel like a man trapped inside a woman's body. but then I was born.

Ever wondered why toasters have a setting that will burn your toast to the point where it's not edible anymore?

I just flushed some skittles down the toilet. It was like a ten second NASCAR race.

Don't you hate it when you buy a bag of packaged air, and there's crisps inside it? Pisses me off.

You're about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.

You couldn't pick up a girl if she had handles.

The saying "you're not book smart but you're street smart" actually means, "You're a dumbass, but at least you have some common sense."

Come on Dora! You are bilingual by the age of 5, you should be smart enough to see that the banana tree is right there behind you!

It's 2010, and I'm still waiting for my damn flying car!!

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my wife, Patience to deal with her moods, and Love to forgive her... but please don't give me Strength.. because I'm afraid I'll beat the crap out of her. Amen.

Sex is not the answer... Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

You know what really makes me smile? ..facial muscles.

My doctor told me that 1 out of 3 people who smoke will eventually die. I guess the other 2 becomes immortal.

A bomber runs into a pet store and shouts, "You all have 1 minute to get out before I blow this joint!" The turtle in the back goes "you bastard..."

A woman comes home and finds her husband in bed with a midget. She screams, "you promised you wouldn't cheat again!" The husband replies, "for God's sakes woman! can't you see that I'm trying to cut down!?"

God tells Adam, "I've got some good news and some bad news.. The good news is that I've given you a brain and a penis. The bad news.. You only have enough blood to work one of em at a time."

I thought of killing myself once. I bought a bottle of whiskey and some pain medication.. But after taking a couple of pills and some shots, I started feeling a hell of a lot better.

A guy shows up for work late and the boss yells, "you should have been here at 8!!" the guy goes "why? what happened at 8?"

Geographical definition of sex: It's an action done by Poland into Holand between Thailand, occasionally with a little help from Greece.

A blonde walks into the library and upto the counter. She SLAMS a book down and screams, "This is the WORST book I've ever read! It has NO plot and far too many characters!" The librarian calmly remarks, "So you're the one who took our phone book..."

My wife came home the other night and told me to take off her blouse. then she told me to take off her skirt. then she told me not to wear her clothes anymore.

I molested myself last night. I cried "NO!!!" but I knew I wanted it.

Yo momma's so fat even Naruto don't believe it!!

Teacher: What animal represents you best?
George: Ants because they're hard workers.
Johnny: Pft. You mean because they're small and insignificant.

Teacher: For those of you who watched the Disney movie, Pocahontas did not marry John Smith!
Joe: But they painted with the colors of the wind together!!!

"Hold them, cowards! Don't let any of them through!"
"Sir, what about the women and children?"
"Yes! Yes, an excellent idea! Corporal, give them the women and children. That should buy us some time.

"George: rock beats scissors, scissors beat paper, and paper beats rock.
Johnny: paper don't beat rock, rock can rip through paper..
George: well... what beats rock then?
Johnny: hmmm... i dunno. nothing beats rock.
George: oh...

Mom: tell your father to fix dinner!
Kid: dad, mom wants you to fix dinner!
Dad: why, is it broken?

"It really IS true what people say behind your back. You DO have a nice ass!"

"There's no 'I' in 'team', but there is one in 'win' and 'victory', so shut up and give me the ball!"

"You look like I need a drink."

God: What's wrong, Adam? you seem sad.
Adam: Well God, I'm lonely.
God: I see. In that case I shall make you a companion who shall be called a woman. she shall pleasure you at all times, cook the best meals for you, never argue or question you, bear your children, and make passionate love to you whenever you please.
Adam: Great! How much will this cost me?
God: Well my son, it will cost you an arm and a leg.
Adam: Hmmm I see... so what can I get for a rib..?
The rest is just history.

Dad: Son, I think it's time we had a chat man to man about cybersex.
Son: Umm... okay dad. What did you want to know?

Consul: your name please?
Saudi: Sheikh Abdul-Aziz
Consul: sex?
Saudi: six time a week.
Consul: i meant, male or female?
Saudi: both male and female, sometimes even camels.
Consul: holy cow...
Saudi: yes, cows and dogs too.
Consul: man, isn't that hostile?
Saudi: horse style, dog style, any style!
Consul: oh dear..!
Saudi: no deer. they run too fast!

When Chuck Norris plays pacman, the ghosts stay in their box.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he is telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
When Chuck Norris watched "The Ring", the little girl in the well died 7 days later.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris can strangle people with a cordless phone.
There's no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control!!
Chuck Norris speaks in fourth person.
Chuck Norris played chess against himself. Both of them won.
Chuck Norris can clog a toilet with his urine.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise!
Chuck Norris and Superman fought once. The loser had to wear underwear outside of his pants.
The game of chess originally had a piece called the Chuck Norris. It was removed because in one move, it could kill all pawns, knights, and brooks, remove the bishop of his title, de-throne the king, and get the queen pregnant.
Yoda was picked from Chuck Norris' nose.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 with only 3 moves.
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
Chuck Norris does not wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo's hiding.
Chuck Norris beat the whole Super Mario Bros game... without jumping.
Chuck Norris can make Miley Cyrus party in Mexico.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
Chuck Norris once made love with a woman in the back of a semi truck. A drop of his semen got onto the seat and became infused with the truck. The truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Once, Death had a near-Chuck-Norris-experience.

Silk, silk, silk. What do cows drink? ... Answer: water

Johnny's mom has 4 sons.
Their names are Penny, Nickel, and Dime. What's her fourth son's name? ... Answer: johnny

You are in a locked car and you have a bat. How do you get out? ... Answer: You unlock the door.

The President decides to test LAPD, FBI, and CIA to see who is the best at apprehending criminals. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After 3 monthes of extensive investigations, they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After 2 weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The LAPD goes in. They come out 2 hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling, "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

A man with a black eye is at the airport. He takes a seat next to another man who had a black eye. He asks, "How did you get yours?" The other man says, "Oh, it was a terrible mix up. I meant to ask the lady over there for two tickets to Pittsburg, but what I actually asked for was two pickets to Tittsburg, so she punched me. How'd you get yours?" The first man says, "Well, like you, I got my words mixed up. I meant to ask my wife to pass the coffee, but what I really said was 'You ruined my life, you stupid whore.'

A student comes to the professor's office. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean," she whispers, "I would do anything." He returns her gaze. "Anything?" "Anything." His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... study?"

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV and said to his wife, "Quick! Bring me a beer before it starts!" She looked puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, "Quick! Bring me another beer! It's gonna start!" This time she looked a little angry, but she brought him a beer. When he finished, he said, "Quickly! Another beer! It's gonna start any second!!!" "THAT'S IT!!" Wife exploded. "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me, then expect me to run around like your slave!? Don't you realize that I cook, clean, wash, and iron all day long??" The husband sighed, "Crap... it started."

I heard about this guy who broke into a lion's den at the zoo and got mauled. People were talking about how there should have been better defenses put up to prevent people getting into the cage. I suggested setting up some kind of deterrent. For example, putting some sort of fierce animal in the cage that would attack anybody who climbed in.

EVER WONDER...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why is verb a noun?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why you don't see the headline "psychic wins lotto"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why is the person who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why in the hell didn't Noah swat those 2 mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

After dying, 3 people are asked a question in heaven, "when you're lying in your casket, and your friends and family are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say about you?" The 1st guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was one of the greatest doctors of my time and a great family man." The 2nd guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a wonderful husband and a school teacher who made a huge difference in the children of tomorrow." The last guy thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'd like to hear them say, 'Look! He's moving!!!'"

3 women were having lunch: one married, one engaged, one a mistress. They all decided to give their men a nice surprise and dress up for them. They decided to wear black heels, leather bra, stockings and a mask that covered their eyes. A few days later, they meet up and discuss their ventures. The mistress says, "It was amazing! when he saw me, he whispered that he loved me, then we made love all night long." The engaged woman says, "When my man came home and saw me, he told me that I was the woman of his dreams, then we had a wild night together." The married woman says, "My husband came home, saw me in my stockings, black heels, sexy leather bra and black mask over my eyes and goes, 'What's for dinner, Batman?'"

Why Men are Happy: We keep our last names. The garage is ours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. We can never be pregnant. We can wear a white shirt to a water park. We can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell us the truth. The world is our urinal. We never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress: $5000, Tux rental: $100. People never stare at our chest when we talk to them. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. We get extra credit for slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite us, they can still be our friend. Our underwear is $8.95 for a 3 pack. Everything on our face stays its original color. We only have to shave neck up. We can wear shorts no matter how our legs look. and finally, One wallet & one pair of shoes - one color for all seasons.

A lady walks into a drug store and asks the pharmacist for some cyanide. The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady explained she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! They'll throw both of us in jail and I'll lose my license!" Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, you didn't tell me you had a prescription."

A little girl went up to her mom and asked, "Mom how did the human race appear?" Mom replied, "Well dear, a long time ago, God made Adam and Eve and they had children that started the human race." The little girl then asks her dad the same question and dad answers, "Well, a long time ago, there were these monkeys that evolved into people, and that's how we got here." The little girl ran back to her mom, confused. "Mom, how is it that you say we came from God and dad says we came from monkeys?" Mom replies, "Well sweetie, it's simple. I told you about my side of the family, and your dad told you about his."

The Patels were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start a family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Patel kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon." Few minutes later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am," he said. "I've come to-" "Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Patel cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you." "Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know that babies are my specialty?" "Well, that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat." After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" "Leave everything to me. I usually try 2 in the bathtub, 1 on the couch and a couple on the bed. and sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there. Although I must warn you, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "Oh my! That's a lot..!" gasped Mrs. Patel. "Ma'am, in my line of work, a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that." "Don't I know it..." said Mrs. Patel. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on top of a bus," he said. "Oh my God!" exclaimed Mrs. Patel. "And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Patel. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look. and for more than 3 hours too! the mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached, I had to rush my shots. When the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get started." "A tripod??" "Oh yes, ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held by hand for very long." Mrs. Patel fainted.

My job is so freaking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by telling you about the folks I work with.
First, there's this supermodel wannabe chick. Yeah, okay, she's pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. She is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless and yet she is here with us. She is a 0 on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers. and I highly suspect she might be a lesbian.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the freakin stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. He is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober any time in the last 10 years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960s, and to make things worse, he brings his big freakin dog to work. Every damn day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King every single freakin day.
Anyway, I drive these tards around in my van and we solve mysteries and sh*t...

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine. So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Attention Female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.*
*Attention Male readers: Read on.*

The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!

Things to do when you're in ASDA!

1.) Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2.) Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the Toilets.

3.) Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone," 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4.) Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5.) Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6.) Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7.) When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8.) Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9.) While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10.) Dart around the store suspiciously loudly singing the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11.) In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look."

12.) Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13.) When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the foetal position and scream,"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14.) Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

15.)Grab a load of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, yelling "GO, PIKACHU, GO!"

16.) Grab a handful of skittles and throw them at a small kid screaming "TASTE THE FRICKIN RAINBOW!"

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MUM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "THAT WAS FRICKING AWESOME"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will confort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'its because your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this!!

Stuff do do while you're in a lift:

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it. COPY AND PASTE SHTUFF!

If you showed Captain Falcon your moves by punching/ kicking/ hitting or generally owning him in brawl, copy and paste this onto your profile

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, watching-waiting-wishing, 100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed, iluvdavidwright45, dianeandnumairareahotcouple,windsoftiti, Ilovethelittletacos...Ilovethemgood, i-have-issues-deal-with-it, Kiba Obsessed Demonic Angel, Digital98, Anime-Kunoichi, Chinbaldo, Naruto Ninja44, May and Dawn are the best, rst64tlc, Gammatron, Maxforce, Kattheamazing, NinjaKrabz,

Copy and paste this into your profile if you HATE people who like to put cruel comments on other people's stories without thinking twice. (I'm not really a hater but close enough)

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile!

If you laugh secretly at some people or keep on comparing them with characters because they resemble some characters, copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE then it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you've ever copied something from someone Else's profile, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever fallen up the stairs then copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you get easily obsessed copy this to your profile

If you have ever listened to a song repeatedly, copy this onto your profile. (currently obsessed with Kagome Kagome lol)

If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, and i mean CONSTANTLY, copy this into your profile.

If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile.

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile. (Screaming does count.)

If you've ever tripped over nothing, copy this into your profile.

If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it.

If you DON'T check under the bed for monsters, but you DO check behind the shower curtain for monsters/murderers/Michael Jackson/Opal Koboi, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the news is depressing, copy this into your profile.

If you noticed that in horror movies, it always happens when they're home alone during a thunderstorm at night, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped when there was a "watch your step" sign copy and paste this into your profile.

If you just forgot what you were thinking, copy this into your profile.

If you just stopped to think about what you forgot, copy this into to your profile.

If you just remembered what you were thinking about, copy this into your profile.

If you forgot again, your an idiot. (wah i'm an idiot XD)

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile. It only takes one review to get me excited.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've never even heard of those shows, copy this in to your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

Chocolate Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

c(-.-c) SLEEPY KIRBY! Copy and paste him into your profile to make sure he has a bed all around the world!

If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy this into your profile (or one of those doors that are made out of glass.)

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied something into your profile twice, copy this into your profile.

If when you copy things on to your profile you ALWAYS miss out the full stop at the end, copy this to your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. (That's me. Unique, I mean.)

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you have ever laughed at something that you wouldn't normally laugh at because it was really late at night, copy this into your profile

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you or your best friend or both are insane copy and paste this onto your profile. All my friends are insane.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freaking' Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile,

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

Weird is under-rated. Copy and paste this in your profile, if you agree and add your name to the list: Celiana, SuperSidney, Wisegirl101, Seweedbrainrocks314, Shorty and KG Inc., BookWormBandGeek, Stargirl844, 6WillhelmBroon-Cherubfan, Kattheamazing, NinjaKrabz,

If you agree that it's a complement when someone calls you a psycho, a snackbar or any other name that normal people would find insulting, copy this into your profile.

If people say you read too much copy this into your profile.

If you copy and paste stuff regardless of if it is true, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile

If you have ever just wanted to PUNCH someone coughs Ilia coughs, copy this onto your profile.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!!

When life gives you lemons, make grapefruit juice, and let life wonder how the heck you did that!

If you are a total clutz copy this into your profile.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiel.

If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile! (Especially the FREAKING CAPS LOCK!)

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you belive we should clamp faries wings to keep them grounded, copy and paste this onto your profile.

SHTUFF THAT IS JUST AWSOMESAUCE.

When life gives you lemons, say 'Who throws a lemon?", then aim the lemon at lifes head, throw and say: 'Me, thats who!'

IF YOU THINK THAT FAIRIES SHOULD BE STONED TO DEATH BY SNACK BARS, Then copy and paste this into your profile.

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

One day we're going to look back on this, laugh nervously and then change the subject

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

He who laughs last probably doesn't get the joke.

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

Why is dyslexic so hard to spell?

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we're already there? - I live in England, so we don't actually sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game". But, meh, Americans think its funny.

Why is it called after dark when really it's after light?.

When life gives you lemons, squirt the lemons in Life's face

Boy, I didn't fall for you, you tripped me!

Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his most expensive footware. That way you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.

Fridge isnt a word so, officially, we have to say refridgerator

A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid ass

When it rains on my parade, I bust out the slip n' slide.

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

Be insane...well behaved girls never made history.

Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.

People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers.

Officer, I swear to Drunk I am not God!

When life gives you lemons, spit the lemons in life's eyes.

My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone.

An optimist is someone who falls off the top of the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good!'"

Gone crazy. Be back soon.

I'm spinning in my new expensive office chair. So I'm away... Now I'm back... Away again... Back!.. And away..

I am sleeping, why aren't you?

Suicide is our way of saying to god, “You can’t fire me, I quit!”

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, Meet strange, new, people, then kill them.

I spilt Spot remover on my dog. Now sob he's gone.

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)

Death is hereditary.

There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.

An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.

UFO's are real. It's the Air Force that doesn't exist!

A synonym is a word you use if you can't spell the other one.

Marriage is Grand... Divorce is 20 Grand...

A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.

It’s not cheating unless you get caught.

I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.

I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Avoid hangovers: stay drunk.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so waste your time and have the time of your life !

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

I’m knot a blonde! I’m knot, I’m knot, I’m knot!

I’ve got problem for your solution…

Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”

Your school GPA is inversely proportionate to your girlfriend’s looks and vise versa.

Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough.

All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again ?

Be creative, invent a perversion.

MONEY TALKS... but all mine ever says is GOODBYE!

If life begins at 40, what are you supposed to do until then?

If plugging it in doesn't help, turn it on.

I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?

When in doubt, mumble. When asked to clarify, say "Trust me".

43 of all statistics are useless.

Write all complaints legibly in this space -

WYTYSYDG - What You Thought You Saw You Didn't Get

All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Black Holes are where God divided by zero.

I've got a... uh... uh... Oh yeah - a photographic memory!

Is that seat saved? No, but we're praying for it!

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Dolphins: Don't trust a species that's always smiling, its up to something!

Hard work never hurt anyone, but why take the chance.

1st rule of intelligent tinkering - save all the parts.

Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl mistakes!

Yield to temptation, it may not pass your way again.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

I call things as I see them; If I didn't see them, I make them up!

Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

Daddy? What's this little red button for? Pzzzz...

Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.

SHIN - A device for finding furniture in the dark.

It's only a hobby... only a hobby... only a hobby...

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAY PEOPLE, so i must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude

Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth (i really do have bad teeth though)
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I have ASTHMA so I MUST be a loser
I am an ADRENALINE JUNKIE so I MUST be suicidal

I don't care if you're gay or straight, everybody needs love.
I don't care if you're diseased with an incurable sickness, everybody deserves a chance.
I don't care if you're ugly or pretty, everybody has flaws.
I don't care if you're black or white, everybody has the same capabilities.
I don't care if you're weird, everybody needs to change.
I don't care if you're rich or poor, everybody needs warmth.
I don't care if you're different, everybody is.

It's so...so looong... _;