Hello, my chosen moniker is Orpheus, and I will be your zombie for this tour. I'm new to the whole fic writing scene. My dear friend/co-author of madness Kissy insists I flex my literary muscles on something other than our "Stoners" series (viewable on her myspace account). I'm a huge ff fan, but I take my yaoi wherever I can get it. My interests include gaming, singing, poetry of all kinds, maniacally cackling for no apparent reason, Anne Rice, fried rice, and clubbing baby seals. Just pulling your leg...I hate rice. Hoping to get some feedback on my current works in progress, but I'm definitely writing more Megaman X and FFVII. Hope you like them when they're finished, and I hope I write my originally intended Naruto one shots. Choke on a wishbone if you don't like them, meh. TOODLES!!

O_o

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

I'm JAMAICAN, so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm CHRISTIAN, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST lie at every opportunity possible.

I'm INDEPENDENT, so I MUST be a Communist.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenience store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST work at a casino.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be boinking the JV quarterback

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I'm a TEENAGED MOM, so I MUST be irresponsible, uneducated, and on Welfare.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be a brainless idiot.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must be as hairy as a Yeti.

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST be as dumb as shit.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO. (But I AM gay!)

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST steal things.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm PAGAN, so I MUST be a Satanist.

I READ, so I MUST be a geek.