Hey my name is Jayd. I love reading these fan fictions and at the moment, I'm looking for more to read. SOMEONE!! If theres any good stories, tell me!!

It's um...COPY AND PASTE TIME!!

This is weird, but interesting! If you
can Raed this, you have a sgtrane mnid too Can you raed
this? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod
aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the
hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it
dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny
iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit
a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter
by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas
tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this forwrad it
COPY AND PASTE ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT --

A friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much, dumbass?"

A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes your umbrella and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"

A friend wipes your tears when you're rejected. A best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!"

Mental Hospital Phone Menu

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental
Hospital .

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2
for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you
want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be
forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little
voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which
number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the
beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have
short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss,
press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our
operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn
on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just
mess it up.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile

If you misspell your own name all the time, but remember the names of authors/books that you read over a year ago and haven't read since, copy and paste this onto your profile

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.

92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile.

If you think the Coco Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If you've ever tripped over a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your pro

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

QUOTES TO LIVE BY

1.) Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

2.) Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

3.) When other little girls wanted to be ballerinas, I kinda wanted to be a VAMPIRE.

4.) Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler

5.) Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

6.) Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?

7.) If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?

8.) "Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

9.) "Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown

10.) “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” – Unknown

11.) “Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.” – Unknown

12.) “He who laughs last didn't get it.” – Unknown

13.) Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster.

14.) Oh god! They took my freaking kidney!

15.) When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!

16.) I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.

17.) There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

18.) Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that jerk upside the head

19.) "Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

20.) Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

21.) Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

22.) You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

23.) They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly i think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," i don't think many people would be dead...

24.) I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

25.) Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public

26.) Guns don't kill people. I do.

27.) A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

28.) He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron.

29.) My imaginary friend doesn't like you either.

30.) flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

31.) Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

32.) The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

33.) The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.

34.) Assassinations is an extreme form of censorship.

35.) You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

36.) I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet

37.) I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

38.) I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have

39.) Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

40.) Did you just call me a bch? Because a bch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.

41.) So, you're a cannibal.

42.) Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing.

43.) AV is Addicted to Vampires

44.) There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.

45.) 'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!

46.) I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.

47.) Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock!

48.) I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow

49.) Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again

50.) To put it nicely, I hope you choke

51.) It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn

52.) I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

53.) If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

54.) The evil gnomes poked me in the bum wit a stick.

55.) Would you like a cookie? So would I.

56.) You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

57.) Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.

58.) A day without sunshine is like... night.

59.) A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water!

60.) Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot

61.) Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!!

62.) Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.

63.) I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!

64.) I do what cheerios tell me.

65.) I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'.

66.) I'm hearing voices in my head and they don't like you! (haha just like Edward Cullen!! )

67.) I'm knocking on heavens door.. voice in back round: Knocking? You very nearly broke the bloody thing down!! me: That wasnt my fault!! It was poor constrution... I SWEAR!! Dont look at me like that...

68.) If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth.

69.) My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet...

70.) Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.

71.) Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, But Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous.

72.) Okay...so there's this thing called retarded-ness and me and my freinds, well...We've gone pro.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy this onto your profile.

If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, (actually I have) Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki (I do all the time!), WeaselChick, Celyna ( i fall up the steps to school every time i go up them... sadly...), SSAHC, Sanoon, Phantom-Flames, Leopardheart (just once, but still...), Littlwhisker (I do it all the time so get over it!), Sakeraa (I blame it on my new sandals), Katklaws (multiple times, actually), Sparrowflight, Sapphirepaw (It was fun so i did it again, and again, and again...), hxcb (i really have no reason for doing it. it just kinda happened...over and over and over), silvershadow37 (I was tired and was trying to prove a point to my friend by stomping off...and as you read it didn't go so well..), whatever95 (my advice, look where you step...) Ripped Into Pieces, speekTheofDevil (haha...ouch)

I STOLE THIS FROM ST. OF BOREDOM'S PROFILE...BUT IT IS HILARIOUS SO I'M KEEPING IT. IF YOU (St. Fang of Boredom) ARE READING THIS, AND WANT ME TO TAKE IT OFF I TOTALLY WILL.

ACTUAL PRODUCT LABELS THAT SCARE ME:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

END OF MY STOLEN WORK...I FEEL GUILTY...A LITTLE

Wow this is really depressing...I like it though. Don't take that the wrong way either.

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

SEE?! That WAS sad...

I WANT TO MAKE A TRIBUTE TO A COUPLE OF MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE STORIES AND THEIR AUTHORS RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!

(FIRST STORY I EVER READ ON THIS SITE. GOT ME ADDICTED!!)

The Wings of Wrath by Avengingmyinnocence

Relocation by ObviouslyObsessed

Scarred by Nyctra Scandia

Conundrum by Pheonix Fanatic

No Sunlight by twilightbystarlight

AND

Two Souls, One Destiny by Sandt21

Two Souls, One Destiny: End Of Days by Sandt21

All these authors/stories had

1. Long stories(and chapters most of the time) (some still W.I.P's)

2.That certain kind of writing that not only was EPIC, but actually was believeable. (As in could have been written by the real authors of the original books)

They had that kind of writing that kept you reading, even if you were dead tired and was falling asleep at the computer (this happened to me once), you wouldn't stop, couldn't stop, because you needed to know what was going to happen next. I really must say that these are my favorite stories on the whole site...

P.S. This list is subjectable to change. (Not meaning I'll take any off because I wont)

P.P.S If you have a story that you believe meets those standards, tell me and I'll read them..and you know, ADD them.

OH AND GO READ ALL OF St. Fang of Boredom's STORIES BECAUSE THEY TO ARE AH-MAZING! AND HILARIOUS!! =)

I love those things! And I must say, they really fill out the profile...but I think it is time for some of my own words...

So let's see...FAVORITES TIME!

Favorite Books:

Maximum Ride:The Angel Experiment

School's Out. Forever

Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

The Final Warning

MAX

Twilight

New Moon

Eclipse

Breaking Dawn

The clique series

Stargirl

The Big Bad Wolf

London Bridges

Mary, Mary

Cat & Mouse

Peeps

Uglies

Pretties

Specials

Extras

The Host

All American Girl

Ready Or Not

Teen Idol

The Book Theif

Night

Favorite Music:

Pretty much everything, within reason. That reason? It can't suck.

OTHER!!

I'M A TAURUS

I'M 5'7"

I'M AWESOME

I'M SOOO NOT FULL OF MY SELF

I HAVE 6 REALLY GOOD FRIENDS AT MY SCHOOL

THEN SOME OTHERS

I LIKE TO WRITE(ONLY FICTION. NON-FICTION HAS TO MANY LIMITATIONS. LAWS OF PHYSICS, THE TRUTH, STUFF LIKE THAT)

I LIKE TO READ

MY NAME IS JAYD

I LIKE NEON GREEN AND BLACK

I'M REALLY A SUPER HERO (SUPER PRINCESS JAYD OF SINGAPORE...NOT TO THRILLED ABOUT THE "PRINCESS" THING) (SINGAPORE SOUNDS FUNNY...I'M NOT FROM THERE THOUGH)

I'M OUT THERE

I'M RANDOM

I LAUGH LOUD

TOO LOUD

I HAVE A SEMI-SHORT ATTENTION SPAN

I LOVE LOVE LOVE CHOCOLATE!!

I HAVE ISSUSE WITH MY ANGER(apparently)(not really)

WHEN NEEDED JAYD TALKS IN THE THIRD PERSON!! (that is needed a lot)

WHEN I'M UPSET I WORK OUT

WHEN I'M MAD I'LL EITHER

YELL

WORK OUT

KEEP IT INSIDE

GET OVER IT(this happens most of the time)

YEA THAT'S JAYD IN A NUTSHELL...

KINDA