How do you do? I see you've met my faithful handyman. He's just a little brought down because when you knocked, he thought you were the candyman. (What? What do you mean, "lawsuit?")

So, anyway, my real name is Steve. I do have a last name, but that's classified Imperial information, and if I told you, I'd have to kill you. And then eat you. With some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Sorry, I let Hannibal get the keyboard for a second there. Yes, I'm Steve. And yes, Hannibal Lecter lives in my house. He rooms with Freddy. (Oh, did I mention I'm a horror enthusiast? No? Well, I am.)

Tell you a little bit about me? Um, okay...I'm twenty-six, with a bachelor's degree in wildlife and conservation biology. In addition to eating, I obtain my nutrition from rock and roll. I'm a huge AC/DC fan, but I like all kinds of rock. "For Those About to Rock" by AC/DC is the greatest song ever, and any attempt to disagree will be met with corporal punishment. I won't go into any detail about exactly what will happen, but I can say that it will involve gasoline, colored pencils, and a rabid lemur named Stan. Also, Kid Rock is to music what Carlos Mencia is to comedy.

In my spare time, I like birdwatching. My life list is comprised of 228 species. Yeah, I'm a nerd. Get used to it.