Very Important Message:

Hello everyone. I realize I haven't been on here in probably... A year. This is NOT as pretty much everyone must have thought, me dropping out of the fanfiction realm, as happens to pretty much all of us at one point or another. Quite the contrary, actually. I have been getting my fics beta-ed and re-beta-ed as they've been added to the numbers of Phoenixsong.net as well as Checkmated. They can be found there. I'm finally returning to the point of regular updates, and re-writing everything from every long-term fic I've got. If you still wish to read, I can guarentee you'll find them a lot less grammer and spelling mistake -riddled then previously, if not a lot better. But the latter you will have to decide for yourself.

-Twig

Hi people! I was reading through this thing, and realized that it is LONG OVERDUE for an update, so... Here I am!

Yoda je suis!

NINE COMPLETELY FACTUAL THINGS I BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT KARI LYNN!
Kari Lynn, AKA: Courtney...
1) Can defy gravity
2) Will get rich someday
3) Is made almost entirely out of styrofoam and gaffa tape
4) Has a part-time job as a grave robber
5) Owns a small country in the Middle East
6) Is officially the LUCKIEST girl on EARTH
7) She is a self-confessed liar
9) Doesn't care where number 8 went

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (And that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's"just" a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?..)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and... I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.

On a Swedish chainsaw:” Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

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Now for fic info...

In Spite of Everything: Chapter 9 is in the PreBeta process currently

One Day to Change my Life:Complete:

If Given the Opportunity:Complete:

A Forgotten Love- Kudo's to those who have reviewed! Thank you very very much! Updates will be coming as I get then written and beta-ed, no updates within the next few weeks I'm afraid as Annika is going through some personal issues, and is also trying to find the time outside of college, but the chapter is almost complete.

~Coming Soon~
Three Days: It had only lasted three days, but it seemed to last a lifetime. The nightmares have haunted me for ten years... and now I can finally tell my story, unedited, and free myself from the horrors within.

January- It was January. You always remember when things happen in Jamuary. January of my fifth year... In the Shades of Grey-verse, Chaos' life up until we meet her.

And Remember: Life is just one big soap opera!

LAST NOTE:
You can find me on phoenixsong.com as Kari Lynn, and on checkmated.com as Hermionie121212
My email is hermionie121212@yahoo.com
My AIM is lunaxamare

Reviews are always appreciated, of course!