The Guardian of Arda works for one purpose only: to improve the quality of Lord of the Rings fan fiction on ff.net. Please do not take it as a personal attack on you if she offers you some constructive criticism. She's only trying to help. If you've seriously distorted the canon, however, she may be more negative than helpful. Here are the rules she has compiled for writing LOTR fan fiction. These WILL be enforced:

SECTION 1 - MARY SUES

Mary Sues are strictly prohibited. These are violations:

1. Any girl or young woman with outstanding good looks, magical powers, talents and skills, surpassing that of the Fellowship, or any other major character in LOTR, OR which should not be possible for someone of her age/upbringing, qualifies as a Mary Sue.

2. Any tenth member of the Fellowship qualifies as a Mary Sue.

3. Any immortal being who is not an elf, maia, or one of the Valar.

4. Anyone who is of a breed, or half breed of a species which does not exist in Middle-earth.

5. Anyone who falls into/is sucked into/is magically transported into/wakes up in/lands in Middle-earth.

6. Anyone who's eye colour or hair colour changes spontaneously.

7. Any original female character who causes the canon characters to act out of character (OOC).

8. Any original female character who prevents/causes the death of a major canon character (I.E saving Gandalf or Boromir, or killing off Gimli or Gollum because the author 'doesn't like him'.

SECTION 2 - LANGUAGE

Grossly improper use of languages in Middle-earth is strictly prohibited. These are violations:

1. Any mention of the English language in Middle-earth.

2. Any disregard of the fact that Westron is the common speech in Middle-earth.

3. Anyone who is transported to Middle-earth and can automatically speak to the canon characters.

4. Any Elvish/Dwarvish/Black Speech/other language invented by the author.

SECTION 3 - NAMES

Spelling names correctly is a must. One or two typos are fine; twenty are not. These are violations:

1. Major mispellings of any canon characters' name(s), or creation of 'Mini Balrogs' (See Official Fan Fiction University of Middle Earth for details).

2. Major mispellings of place names in Middle-earth.

3. Major mispellings of weapon names, food names, or other names.

SECTION 4 - MODERN DEVICES IN MIDDLE-EARTH

Modern devices in Middle-earth are totally unexceptable. These are violations:

1. Any mention of modern technology in Middle-earth, including, but not limited to television, computers, internet, radios, CDs, records, tapes, space ships, airplanes, automobiles, guns, torches(flashlights), electricity, and/or plastic.

2. Any mention of modern places in Middle-earth, including, but not limited to The United States of America, The United Kingdom, Russia, Australia, Canada, New Zealand, China, Japan, London, L.A, New York, Sydney, Tokyo, and/or Paris.

3. Any mention of secondary modern places in Middle-earth, including, but not limited to Subway station, bus stop, parking lot, airport, mall, and/or high school.

4. Any modern songs being sung in Middle-earth, such as Britney Spears, Blink 182, Nickelback, Creed, Eminem, etc.

5. Any modern words or phrases used in Middle-earth, including curses and swear words.

6. Any modern brand names in Middle-earth, such as Old Navy, The GAP, Microsoft, Coca Cola, etc.

7. Any modern food or drink in Middle-earth, including, but not limited to soft drinks, potato chips, coffee, popcorn, pizza, and/or chocolate.

SECTION 5 - OUT OF CHARACTER (OOC)

These are the violations:

1. Any one of the major canon characters deciding to take a young girl on a perilous journey through Middle-earth.

2. Any one of the major canon characters instantly falling in love with an original character, for no apparent logical reason.

3. Any two or more canon characters falling in love with one another, without any apparent logical explanation.

4. Any canon characters becoming amazed, horrified, or stunned by an original character, only because she is described as beautiful, powerful, or mystical.

5. Any canon character who is defeated at their specialty (I.E Legolas' archery, Aragorn's swordsmanship) by an original character who couldn't possibly have learned more than them in the short period of her life.

6. Any canon character who is outsmarted by a younger original character, such as Legolas being outsmarted by a 14-year-old.

7. Any canon character who suddenly turns into an idiot/blundering fool/drooling moron/pervert for no reason except to help the plot.

SECTION 6 - ORIGINAL CHARACTERS

Original characters can be excellent, if the author takes the time to write them properly. Here are the violations:

1. A daughter/son/long lost parent/sibling of Gandalf.

2. A daughter/son/long lost parent/sibling of Sauron.

3. A long lost sibling of Aragorn.

4. A long lost sibling of Arwen.

5. A long lost daughter/son/sibling of Galadriel.

6. A long lost sibling of Eowyn or Faramir/Boromir.

7. A Mary Sue (See Section 1 for details).

8. Anyone who sweeps one or more canon characters off their feet with little more than a glance.

9. Anyone who causes one or more of the canon characters to act grossly OOC.

10. A 10th Nazgul

Note that most of these rules can be disregarded if the fan fiction falls under the humour/parody catagory. Some of these rules can VERY RARELY be disregarded for serious fan fictions.

If you have any suggestions for Sections or Rules, or if you have a horrible fan fiction that you would like me to check out and review, please e-mail me at guardian_of_arda@yahoo.co.uk