FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we fucked up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Bitch drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRENDS: Will confort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'its becuase your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this shittttt!

Here ya go, ladies...the combacks you've always needed

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you. Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and I together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

NARUTO YO'MOMMA JOKES:

“Your mama is so fat not even Neji can see through her!"

“I saw your mama kickin' a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, and she said she was moving!"

Yo'momma so fat even naruto doesn't believe it!

Yo'momma so fat even the byakugan can't see through her

Yo'momma so ugly she turned Orochimaru gay

Yo'momma so ugly when she walked by Hinata, Hinata yelled out "Dddddaaaaayyyyyuuuuummmm"

Yo'momma so fat she makes Choji look skinny

Yo'momma so ugly she makes the Shukaku look cute

Yo'momma so dumb she makes Naruto look like a genius

Yo'momma so ugly she makes Karino look pretty (Ino and Karn's kid..they're lez)

Yo'momma so ugly anbu thought she was in the second curse mark and kicked her ass

Yo'momma is so stupid she took a shit thinking it would open the 8 inner gates

Yo'momma so old Gai dropped his "Power of youth" philosophy on the spot

Yo'momma so ugly she made Jiraiya too scared to peek again

Yo'momma so ugly when she stopped by Kakashi he used his sharingan to see if someone put a genjutsu on him

Yo'momma so ugly she scared the little kids in her village more than Gaara

Yo'momma so ugly she even scared Gaara

Yo'momma so ugly she's the reason why Itachi went blind

Yo'momma so ugly she's the reason why chidori and reasangan was made

They say guns don't kill people. People kill people. Well, I think the guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill too many people

Flying is not inherently dangerous-- crashing is

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you had a laughing fit for absolutely no reason copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think that it would be fun to be a cartoon, copy this message into your profile.

If you believe that Sasuke and Sakura are meant to be together and karin should die, copy and paste this 2 your profile!

If you believe Shikamaru and Ino belong together copy and paste this in your profile!

If you hate Karin copy and paste this to your profile!

If SAKURA is your favorite girl character copy and paste this to your profile!

If you want to slap Naruto for not noticing Hinata, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want to slap Sasuke for leaving Sakura, copy and paste this into your profile.

- If you are a SasuSaku fan, add this on your profile –

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

THE WE HATE KARIN CLUB:

If you hate Karin from NARUTO, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list:

Pink Crescent Moon,
Miyako-hime, XSakuraHarunoX, I'm in love with a Uchiha23, Angel Of Cherry
Blossoms, Cherrilatina, CherryBlossoms016, Rayray, Sakura the lover,
Sasusakufan2357, Lina Mistress of Elements, xnarutoxrocksx, uchihasakurah26,
Nokas-Kokas, NorthernLights25, KunoichruleALL, Kawaiiblossom94, dera-chan,
Mai-'-Kawaii-'-Ai, Ebil Chameleon, you.broke.a.promise, kattylin, Hinatakura,
Sakuranata, hinoru14, SassySaku,CommitedToKiba,ItaKure, renzie17,xxakatsuki'sblossomxx

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy.So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality they are amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long.

When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight.

Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.

I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.

He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me.

╔═╦╦══╦══╦╗╔╦══╦══╗╔╗
║║║║╔╗║╔╗║║║╠╗╔╣╔╗║║║Put this on your
║║║║╚╝║╚╝╣║║║║║║║║║╚╝page if you love
║║║║╔╗║╔╗║╚╝║║║║╚╝║╔╗Naruto!
╚╩═╩╝╚╩╝╚╩══╝╚╝╚══╝╚╝

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping
it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him
by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to
football from one birthday party after another. You thanked him by
jumping outof the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to
the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch
certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion.
You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You
thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him
by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked
him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus
carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm
so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you
how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the
country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You
thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their
children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART. If you love your dad, post this on your profile

If you have ever considered going to the dark side since they have cookies, copy this onto your profile.

Love knows no gender, age or color. If you totally agree with me, put this in your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

if you spout a naruto character quote on command, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ran up a down escalater copy this into your profile!

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, watching-waiting-wishing, 100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed, iluvdavidwright45, dianeandnumairareahotcouple,windsoftiti, Ilovethelittletacos...Ilovethemgood, i-have-issues-deal-with-it ,Sn1ck3rD00dl3, Harajuku Girl, Amaterasu Haruno, Luna.the.betrayed.ninja, ProfessorZoom,jimu, ShikallllTema, totalnarutofangirl85, hitsu-hates-hina,xxakatsuki'sblossomxx

92 of teens have moved onto rap, if your part of the 8 that stayed with rock, copy and paste this into your profile

If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy this into ya profile.

If you ever felt like chasing your friend and yelling "RUN BITCH RUN!" Put this on your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

Is it just me or is Gaara really hot? If you think he is copy this and put it into your profile and add your name to the list. UNITE GAARA LOVERS!! GaaraandAikoforever, LoveShinobi4eva, Silver Element,BlueSkyHeaven, Ketsueki Senshoku, Gaara's Pyro RACCOON, Gaarasminestayaway, .Faking.This.Smile, Lilly, Jay Jay, StormofSilver, inspired122, Kasumi18, Gaara ish my sexeh beast, Xanie, Heza-chan X3, totalnarutofangirl85, hitsu-hates-hina,xxakatsuki'sblossomxx

If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination, copy and paste here.

If you have EVER been so obsessed with a song you actually A.) dream about it, B.) sing it in school no mattter who's listening OR C.) know the lyrics by heart and sing it no matter how off key you are, copy this in your profile.

If you wish there was a filler Naruto episode in either Shippuden or the first series where they all go to high school, on vacation, or audition for a play, copy and paste this to your profile and add your name here: Moonlight Music Mistress, Xanie, Heza-chan X3, totalnarutofangirl85, hitsu-hates-hina,xxakatsuki'sblossomxx

If you love and want to marry any Naruto character on the whole show, copy and paste this to your profile and add your name here: Moonlight Music Mistress, Xanie, Heza-chan X3, hitsu-hates-hina, xxakatsuki'sblosso

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe), PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, mahalo4ursupport, Kuro Uchiha, Sacra Nox, Haruko-Uzumaki, Heza-chan x3, totalnarutofangirl85, hitsu-hates-hina,xxakatsuki'sblossomxx

If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like/love copying and pasting stuff into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever felt the undenilable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

SPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! If you are really random put this on your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz,sk8rchickmax, hizmit12-waterlilly3721, Moonlight Music Mistress, Kannika, Heza-chan X3, totalnarutofangirl85, hitsu-hates-hina,xxakatsuki'sblossomxx

If you have a mad fascination with the Japanese culture, copy and past this into your profile

Even when you can't see Him, GOD IS THERE!! If you believe in God, then put this in your profile.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this; because in the Bible, it says that if you deny me, then I shall deny you before my Father in the gates of Heaven.

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile.

If you know the clowns are out to get you, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

Less than 1 precent of teenagers don't use make-up. Are you one of those who don't? BE PROUD AND GLUE THIS THING IN YOUR PROFILE!

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever wanted to kill someone (albeit a man in a purple and green dinosaur suit known as 'Barney the Dinosaur', any sound-nin from Naruto, George Bush, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, or any other fool) then realized murder is illegal then copy and paste this into your profile.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.

If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever sat in a class and poked the person in front of you just for fun, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table for no reason copy and paste this onto your profile

98 of teenagers have participated in underaged drinking and drugs. If you're one of the 2 who hasn't, copy this into your profile wearing a smirk of pride.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile.

"The evening news always opens by them saying 'Good evening' and then precedes to tell you exactly why it isn't."

People are boring; they are only amusing if you push them down a flight of stairs.

Duct tape is like the force. Dark on one side, light on the other, and it holds the universe together.

Last night I was looking up at the stars, when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"

Pickles are cucumbers soaked in evil.

It's better to look stupid and keep your mouth closed than to open it and prove it.

OMG! The rains wet.

If at first you don’t succeed...Cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't!

I've gone to find myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait!

If aliens are smart enough to travel through space, then why do they abduct the dumbest people on earth ??

If crime fighters fight crime, and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years.

"I told my psychologist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."

"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

There are three kinds of people:
those who make things happen;
those who watch things happen;
and those who don't know what the heck is happening."

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

“I know life is unfair, but could it at least be unfair in by favor?!”

“I’m not random I just have many thoughts.”

“I hear voices and they don’t like you.”

‘The earth is blue like an orange…”

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest have to test the electric fence for themselves

I once shot a man just to watch him die...but I got distracted and missed it

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car

A friend helps you up when you fall; a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain; a best friend takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"

A friend wipes your tears when your rejected; a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"

When you get thrown in jail, a good friend will come bail you out. A true friend will be in there with you going "Damn, we fucked up."

Mirrors don’t talk, and luckily for you, they don’t laugh

It takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes four to extend my middle finger and tell you to bite me

Bravery is just a nice way of saying stupidity

Ambition is just a lame excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're an idiot

“Learning. Politics. Getting weaker...”

First person: “Just ignore him” Second person: “Yeah evolution did”

“All I heard was blah blah blah, Fate, blah blah blah Fate, blah blah blah Sasuke and something something more fate. But whatever, what I really want to know is how you make you’re hair blow with no wind.”

"So... what you're saying is, I should cancel my plans to invade China."

"Evil Beware; we have waffles."

When in doubt we fight using fish!!

DO NOT CLICK THIS

trust me don't click it

21 Things to do at Wal-Mart

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"

17. Challenge people to duels in the back aisles with wrapping paper tubes.

18. Have a conversation with yourself loud enough so that people in the other aisles can hear you.

19. Throw things over one aisle into another one.

20. Mark out price tags with a sharpie.

21. Go up to random people and say "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!" ect. and see if they respond to save themselves from embarisment...

7 Ways to scare your roommates

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you’re hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."

"When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand oranges."

"I think, therefore I get a headache."

"I smile because I have no idea what's going on."

"Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard, be evil."

"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."

Did you know...
kissing is healthy.
bananas are good for period pain.
it's good to cry.
chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.
lying is actually unhealthy.
you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.
it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.
89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.
it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.
chocolate will make you feel better.
most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.
a good friend never judges.
a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.
boys aren't worth your tears.
we all love surprises.
Now... make a wish.
Wish REALLY hard!!
WISH WISH WISH WISH
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Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...
Your wish will be granted.