Hey,
My name is rachael, and im still learning about this whole fan-fiction thingie, but i've written a few stories, so ya PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!

98 percent of the world's population believe that they're bringing sexy back. I'm part of the 2 percent that never lost theirs!

-- R.I.P

--Orlando, Beloved Gold Fish, you will be Missed

--08/03/2010 to 07/04/2010

LIKES-
- The Twilight Saga (durr)
- hanging out with friends and family
- reading! (no im not a nerd!)
- knee-boarding
- music
- MESSING WITH PEOPLE (it is one of my fav' things to do)

I LOVE EDWARD CULLEN mmmmm... and we will live happily ever after...

HATES-
- BAD GRAMMER, (i know i REALLY sound nerdy at the moment but i cant stand it)
- fucking needles
- people who cant tell a lie if their life depend's on it and...
- being Wrong (its not fun, and i make a strong point not to be)

FRIENDS & BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to berry the body of the person that made you cry.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and scream “run, bitch, run!”

FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the cell with you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say, "Girl drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!"

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon at you, and push you in.

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds asses that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)

2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention much cheaper.)

3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)

4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)

5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)

6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)

7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)

8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)

9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")

10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle)

Stages of Drunkeness

0 - Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as an army bayonet.

1 - Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being.

2 - Lager warming up head. Pretzles are ordered. Barmaid complimented on choice of blouse.

3 - Crossword in newspaper is filled in. After a while blanks are filled with random letters and numbers.

4 - Barmaid complimented on choice of bra. Partially visible when bending to get packets of crisps. Try to instigate conversation about bras. Order half a dozen packets of pretzles one by one.

5 - Have brilliant discussion with guy on the next bar stool. Devise fool-proof scheme for wining lottery, sort out Denver Broncos defense problems.

6 - Feel like a Demi-God. Map out rest of life on cocktail napkin. Realize that everybody loves you. Call parents and tell them you love them. Call girlfriend to tell her you love her and she still has an amazing ass.

7 - Send drinks over to woman sitting at table with boyfriend. No reaction. Scribble out message of love on five cocktail napkins and Frisbee them to her across the room. Boyfriend asks you outside. You buy him a Slim Panatela.

8 - Some slurring. Offer to buy drinks for everyone in room. Lots of people say yes. Go round the bar hugging them one by one. Fall over. Get up.

9 - Head-ache kicks in. Michelob tastes off. Send it back. Next bottle comes back tasting same. Say, "That's much better". Fight nausea by trying to play old Space Invaders game for ten minutes before seeing out of order sign.

10 - Some doubling of vision. Stand on table shouting abuse at all four bartenders. Talked down by bartender's wives, who you offer to give a baby to. Fall over. Get up. Fall over. Impale head on corner of table. Fail to notice oozing head wound.

11 - Speech no longer possible. Eventually manage to find door. Sit and take stock. Realize you are sitting in pub cellar, having taken a wrong turning. Vomit. Pass out.

12 - Put in cab by somebody. Give home address. Taken home. Can't get key in door. Realize you've given address of your local gym. Generally pleased at way evening has gone. Pass out again.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

My Favourite Sayings-

-"Dont close you eyes before the crash, you'll miss the best part"

-"A Real Friend Is Someone Who Walks In When The Rest Of The World Walks Out"

-"I'm IB positive, I be positive they aint' touch me with no needle"

-"I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it."

-"Sometimes I Wish I Were You, Just So I Could Be Friends With Me"

-"I'm Looking Forward To Regretting This"

-"The mind is like a parachute, it doesnt work unless its open"

-"Whats Better? A Lie That Draws A Smile Or The Truth That Draws A Tear?"

-"I Always Knew Looking Back On The Tears Would Make Me Laugh,But I Never Knew Looking Back On The Laughs Would Make Me Cry"

-"Most People Walk In And Out Of You Life. But Only Real Friends Leave Footprints In Your Heart"

Special 'SHOUT OUT' to my Friends and Family-
Tiarne, (my retarded friend, but you know i love you;)
Lilly the Cat (My lovely little baby:)
Hannah (you are awesome babe, go half-squat!),
Madi (moo, you can always draw a smile),
Shayla (you know how to make me laugh baby),
Amelia (screw you dumb dumb)

-xoxo

I RUN WITH VAMPIRES!
(But that does'nt stop werewolves from being HOT!)