Likes: OC fics that are actually good (not so common anymore), Samui from Naruto, Kurotsuchi from Naruto, Rosalie and Alice from Twilight, Leah from Twilight, Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Maggie from Walking Dead, mints, and that's pretty much it.

Loves: Hands-down, the entire Akatsuki. Even Konan. Paul Lahote from Twilight is bae. Jacob Black and I have a love/hate relationship. Embry Call is fine as fuck. Emmett Cullen can put his vampire dick in me. Spike from Buffy, oh my God, yes.

Hates: Sakura Haruno. Bella Swan and Renesmee Cullen. Buffy from BtVS. I know, why hate the main female protagonist(s)? I honestly have no answer for that, except for the fact that everybody loves them. OCs that are paired with 3734678641 people. Stupid fics. Mary-Sues. Gary-Stues. People who think because two men or women sit in the same room together, they must be gay.

There are some things coming up, but because Mary-Sues are such a huge problem, it has a rant of its own.

Small rant: I understand the concept of Mary-Sues, and why people hate them. I mean, you're really just not allowed to create a brand new character and subsequently make that character perfect and sometimes overpowered just so you can have them fuck the brains out of the canon character(s) of your choosing. That's just not cool. However, just because it's an OC, that doesn't mean that the character has to be weak, defenseless, and utterly powerless. For example, in Naruto: why is it such a crime for an OC to be a decent ninja/kunoichi? Now, if that OC can fight off the entire goddamn Akatsuki and make them all fall in love with her and want to jump her bones at the same time... well, you can just sit your ass down with that BS. Or, in Twilight: why is it so bad for an OC to be a female shapeshifter, or a vampire? Now, you do need a somewhat adequate explanation as to why a female phased, because the reasoning behind Leah phasing was shoddy at best, and the Clearwaters are linked to all three shapeshifting bloodlines (I've done my research). And if your Twilight OC is a vampire, it's okay to give them a power. A power. But try not to give them one that's already taken, hm? Be original, because it is supposed to be an original character.

Things that irk me in fanfiction:

Seeing this: "Hey" she said. Do you know nothing about basic punctuation? Where's your fucking comma? Hm? Where is it?! Put it back!

Seeing this: "Hi," i said. Who decided to let you past English 1, and why? If you can't even so much as capitalize the infallible "I," I don't see why you're wasting your time here when you should be taking your nap and building things with MegaBlocks. I refuse to believe that someone older than thirteen does not know to capitalize "I".

Seeing this: "If not than I'll just do something else." This annoys me so much that I feel actual, physical pain. I am so serious right now. Do you see what's wrong here? I'll just put it like this:

"Then is mainly an adverb, often used to situate actions in time. For example, you wake up in the morning and then have breakfast. It’s also used in if … then constructions such as, “If you wake late, then you might have to skip breakfast.” It also works as a noun meaning that time (e.g., “I wanted breakfast, but then was not a good time”) and as an adjective meaning at that time (e.g., “My then boyfriend was not an early riser”).

Than is a conjunction used mainly in making comparisons—e.g., “My breakfast is better than yours”; “I make breakfast differently than you do.” "

Source: grammarist.com. Visit this website if you have even the slightest doubts about your grammatical prowess, because my irritation for people confusing "then" and "than" is right up there with "there," "they're," and "their."

Seriously, I've seen this: "There idiots." No, you are. Jfc, learn how to write.

When people don't know the last name of a character, so they substitute it for a random surname: Oh. My God. I have literally quit reading perfectly good fanfics because people have done this. Why are you writing a fanfiction about this character when you don't even know his last name?! What, is Google not good enough for you or did you just not do your research? If you don't know the surname of whomever it is that you're writing about, maybe you should rearrange your priorities.

Entire stories or chapters written as one huge paragraph: I can't. I just, I can't. If I see a story like that, I have to immediately click away because otherwise I will leave such a terrible review that your eyes will bleed.

OCs in fanfiction that the author tries way too hard to make badass: Nobody owns that much Gothic clothing, and you definitely do not own a Mustang and a Ducati. Who do you think you are? Why are you always smirking? Do you even have any other facial expressions? Could it be a coincidence that the author's least favorite character immediately dislikes you? I understand badassery to a certain extent. I mean. Seriously. Show some emotion, damn you!

Way too much detail given when describing a character: Thanks, now I know the exact shade of the second freckle on your character's left butt cheek, what the fuck am I supposed to do? Paint my room "caramel toffee mocha 06"? And please, don't describe the character you're writing for in detail, either. Trust me, I know what Jacob Black looks like, I just spent four hours staring at his face.

And that's it. For now.

Lots of things annoy me, so I should be back to shred something or someone else's ass this time tomorrow.

I may seem like a total bitch, but that's just because you haven't met me in real life! I'm actually very nice; send me a message! :D

MEOW.