ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
The author is of an undisclosed age, and doesn't have any money or friends. He prefers to spend his time with his computer, writing fanfiction, re-writing his novel, chatting to people with doubtful sanity, programming useless programs and playing his extensive collection of computer games, including, but not limited to, the all-wonderful 'Deus Ex.' He hates Mary Sues, and Mary Sue Writers, and has little tolerance for them. He is under the delusion that there is a group of elite writers comprised of people such as his writing idol, the Blue Yeti, and he longs to become a part of this group so that he can legally own an Uzi submachinegun and use it on Mary Sue writers.

ABOUT THE STORIES:

The author is currently on the sixth re-write of his novel, MoonRider: Eyes In The Storm, and has written three Mary Sue parodies, two of which are posted. He began his fanfiction career writing an Artemis Fowl action/adventure/romance, with a beautiful girl. Next he read the Eternity Code, and a lot of Mary Sue stories. He set to work on 'I'm Back', the fourth Fowl book, in which Artemis was supposed to beat a mentally unstable Mary Sue at her own game. Unfortunately, due to bad planning, and a lack of humour, it degenerated into a terrible Mary Sue story, which later shocked and appalled Ice Raider, and made critics say things like: Jada is so Mary Suey it hurts!

He later deleted the story and redeemed himself with the Mary-Fricking-Sue series.

ABOUT THE COMPUTER:
The computer is a Pentium 3 800MHZ running A GeForce 2 7100 pro, 400 meg of ram and a forty gig harddrive. It is roughly four years old, and, being the geek that he is, Ice Raider knows nearly every component...and needs a girlfriend.
The computer went through a particulary bad patch several months back where several components were replaced, and now, ever the wallet destroyer, Ice Raider is going to blow $1000 upgrading it so he can play all the latest games.

ABOUT THE BIO:
Ice Raider, being an unashamed thief, stole this bio of Blue Yeti, who stole it off 'Stupid White Men.'

List Of Stories:
Note: All my stories are finished on my computer, adn then I upload them piece by piece, only the unfinished stories are not completely typed up.

~Completed~
Mary-Fricking-Sue: A Mary Sue parody, it parodies several stories, even using names from them, but, oddly enough, I have not been banned because of it.

Release: A one shot Romeo and Juliet style thing. Everyone dies in the end. Holly/Artemis. I wrote it just to see if I could do tragedy.

Mary-Fricking-Sue 2: While not technically finished at the time of writing, by the time you read this, the story will be completely finished and uploaded.

A day in the life of A Mary Sue Writer: A short, Mary Sue writer bashing, Karita Chan bashing fic. Ends with the Witch Queen of Mary Sues returning. No offence meant.

Never Good Enough: One shot angst, which is quickly becoming my favourite style.

~Uploaded~
Mary-Fricking-Sue
Mary-Fricking-Sue 2
Release

~Incomplete~
Mary-Fricking-Sue 3: A beautiful computer hacker, going by the name of Mary Sue Sariah Anastasia Claudette Jada Marina Aurora Melody Evelyn Tara, etc, etc, comes to Artemis' new school and intimidates him, hacks his computer and steals all his money. Then Artemis and Butler wage war on her. She is beat up by thugs, electrified, run over, eaten and vomited up by a giant whale...and other good stuf, before true love saves the day and Mary Sue dies.

Fighting A War: The sequel to all my Mary Sue parodies. Mary Sue Writers and their take over the realm of fanfiction and banish Big Friendly Walrus. Their leader, the Demonic Witch Queen of Mary Sue Writers is aiming to overthrow the admins and gain total writing control. It's the original authors versus the Mary Sue writers, in a war that will last years, spanning the entire internet. Like a cross between 'The Matrix' and 'Quest Of The Walrus'.

Artemis Fowl: Return: My first attempt at serious writing in a long time. A Splinter faction of faereis, calling themselves 'The Dark Ones' are plotting to overthrow the council and reclaim the world above, using a new breed of technology. Nanotech body enhancments, turning them into super fighters. Meanwhile Mulch Diggums is a suspect for the recent theft of several of Foaly's inventions. but he knows the dark ones are behind it and goes to summon the one person who can help.
I'm a little unsure about this one, as it does have an OC, who Artemis does fall in love with, but I'm trying to make her as unremarkable as possible. Hopefully I'll be able to pull it off.

NOTE TO READERS, REVIEWERS AND ALL OTHER PEOPLE:
I am a very brutal reviewer, so feel free to be brutally honest with me, just one thing. If you are someone who has written a Mary Sue that I have flamed, don't come screaming to me about how good your character is. All that will do is start a flame war. Believe me, I have no problem with arguing with Mary Sue Writers, I'd prefer o just chuck them off the site, but I can't, and flame wars are really just a waste of my energy. I've got better things to do than listen to some twit called 'Goddess Kitty Katt Awesome Writer' or something (no offence to anyone with Goddess or cat in their name, except Goddess Sari.)

If you feel the need to email me, please keep it as civil as possible, and never use my email address again. If you want to argue, do it on the review boards, if you want to act civilly and ask me what I disliked about the story or something, then you can use my address. Thanks, bye!