AlissaLovell14
 Author has written 1 story for Parodies and Spoofs. HI!! My name is Alissa Lovell and I like to write in my spare time. I will NOT be posting any M-Rated fics, so if you like that kind of stuff...GET THE -- OFF MY PAGE!! My favorite books are Twilight, House of Night, Harry Potter, Vampire Academy, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and Left Behind. I LLLLLLOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEE and have a VVVVVVEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRYYYYYYY UNHEALTHY obsesion with Taylor Lautner. So if any of you want to die today, email me saying Taylor Lautner sucks, is dumb, gay, or is even slightly unnatractive, and BAM!! You're dead in a guarentee of 5 minutes or less!! jk. But seriously, if you insult him, I WILL ban you from my page, so if you think any of that stuff, please keep it to yourself. THANK YOU!! :) YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF... You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!) You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask myself random things?') When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean to take out someone's liver?') After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...' You live off of sugar and caffine You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth. You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. You tend to collect Bic Sticsoff the groundlike picking pennies off the ground. No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome. People think you have A.D.D. You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D. You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. (copy that into your profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions) Ebony Rayne, Jelly1029, Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, Katie Ladmoore, AlissaLovell14 If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile. I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do... If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freaking' Trix, copy this into your profile If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile. If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then copy and paste this in your profile. If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6, GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx, Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, Katie Ladmoore, AllissaLovell14 If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this into your profile. If you have ever ACTUALLY slapped someone, copy this into your profile. If you have more than 100 books in your room, copy this into your profile. If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile. If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile. If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile. Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile. If you don’t dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, copy this into your profile. If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that says pull (or vice versa) copy and paste this into your profile. If people mistake you for a vampire copy and paste this onto your profile. If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliché, Katie-3llen,Angelz on Edge, HermioneGranger1993, Twilightluvr, JetLinkon, PoseidonsGirl; Katie Ladmoore, AlissaLovell14. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, bright black stars, StormDragon666, Sasuke's 2 Child Sayuri Uchiha, silver cherryblossom BrightRubyEyes, Crazii Kimmy Girl,Angelz on edge, HermioneGranger1993, Twilightluvr, JetLinkon; PoseidonsGirl; Katie Ladmoore, AlissaLovell14. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. if you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. The world would be a better place if fictional characters were real. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you think High School Musical is not a real musical, copy this into your profile Only in America do we use the word politics to describe the process of economy so: Poli in Latin meaning many and tics meaning blooksucking creature. Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. Only in America do we have problems with obesity, but still let kids roam around once a year looking for free candy. What was the last book you read?What's on your T.V right now?Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?Where are you?What was the last thing you ate?What's your personality like?Who do you have a crush on?What was the last thing you thought?Say George Bush.You now have a million dollarsReach out and grab the closest thing to you. What is it?What are you eating/drinking right now?What are you writing RIGHT NOW?Grab the nearest book to you, turn to page 18 and find line nine. What is it?What's it like being you?How tall are you?What book are you currently reading?What music are you listening to?What was the last website you visited before fan fiction?What was the last thing you cooked?What color are the walls of the room you are in?Do you know who the governor of your state is?Ketchup or Mustard?How many different programs are on your computer right now?Have you ever been water-skiing?What is the weather like?Are you going an vacation this summer and where?Spread the Stupidity Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers. Before you critisize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door. An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. Ever stop to think and forget to start again? I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends I ran with scissors, and lived! You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS! My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN!!" I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Never argue with me, I'll drag you down to my level and beat you with a bat What happens if you get scared half to death twice?They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly I think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," I don't think many people would be dead... Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head. Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler. The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. "Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing." 'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do." When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?" Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow "Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again To put it nicely, I hope you choke Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn I'm not insensitive, I just don't care If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem. If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler. The evil gnomes poked me in the bum with a stick. Hope is a good thing, perhaps the best of things and no good thing ever dies, except my dog scruffy, he got hit by a car. Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck. A day without sunshine is like... night. A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water! Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls. I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect! I did what they say and chose the road less traveled... Now where the heck am I? I do what cheerios tell me. I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'. If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth. My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet... yo-yos were invented as a weapon. Boomerangs too. I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, andI get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!Random Questions If the sky is the limit, then what is space? Over the limit? Are children who act in 'R' rated moves allowed to see them? 1. Find a globe. Spin it. What does it say? Djibouti (LOL!) 2. Find a book. Turn to page 56, line 24, word 3. What does it say? "Stupefy!!" lol..Harry Potter... 3. What can you hear right now? The stereo... 4. Have a conversation with the closest living thing to you other than yourself. Me: Hey Madi! Madi: Shut up and finish the quiz!! (Madi hits me with the globe.) Me: Well... 5. Turn on the T.V. What show is on? Degrassi: The Next Generation 6. Type your name with your elbow. azllikssa (lol :P) 7. What happened last time you were typing here on this computer? I found out Geoffrey's going on vacation for a week... :'( sniffle...sniffle 8. Stand up. Close your eyes. Spin around three times. Stop. Open your eyes. What's the first thing you see? My cellphone. 9. If you could be anybody from Warriors who would you be? Scourge (if he was a girl and before he died...SCORGITA THE LIVING!!) 10. Now underline the third letter of each question and put it below nnaarpaayw ...thanks for making me waste 12 seconds of my life... What High School Musical has Taught us as a Country If you wish to show your inability or dislike for dancing, it's perfectly reasonable to break out in a dance number. College? It's not important, as long as you can hang out with your friends. Playing sports is a hint that it's time to break into song. Don't worry about being rude/mean because in the end things will work out for you. School spirit is a must. Especially during the summer. Yes! You can paint your locker pink! Screw the school board. Lakes are the equilivant of mirrors. They can show your reflection perfectly! It is possible to memorize a 3 minute song over the course of 30 seconds...and sing it perfectly! It doesn't matter that you're not a staff member... You can still attend any and all staff events. Even though it's the last day of school, it's ok to leave stuff in the locker for the summer. If your family is 'saving pennies' for your college education and gives you a junky truck to drive because they 'can't afford anything else', it is normal for their kitchen to have expensive granite counter tops and a 7,000 fridge. It's perfectly acceptable for a guy to wear girl's capris. 'And she stepped on the ball' is actually quite funny. You just need to put it into context. One family can apparently control an entire city, including all educational institutions in the area. It's good manners to refer to your mother as a 'back stabber'. Turkey imported from Maine is much better than any other turkey. In fact, it's fabulous... Apparently, it is now possible to hire an entire high school to be the staff at an upscale country club. Iced tea from England is blue. Water Bug is a really cute, funny, and romantic pet name. When your girlfriend tells you that your shoes don't match your tie, you must do a stupid looking surfer move to see if she's right, you can't just look down. If you are the basketball star of your school, you can get yourself, as well as the rest of the school, summer jobs. Lava Springs apparently had no employees, since they had to hire a whole new staff. Don't change your friends, change your dreams. Corbin Bleu switched shampoos. Because his hair obviously did not have as much shine, bounce, or body as it did in HSM 1. Even though Chad danced in 'Get Your Head in the Game', 'Status Quo' and 'What Time is It', he apparently does not dance, according to the song 'I Don't Dance'. 'What team?' 'Wildcats!''GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!' can fix any problem. Basketball scholarships at the University of Albuquerque depend completely on your musical performance skills. Guitars and speaker equipment can be placed near a pool safely. Take two small saucepan lids and bang them together. You'll find they make the exact same sound as a large GONG. Go on, have a go. High school cafeterias are vast and spacious, leaving plenty of room to spontaneously break into song and dance, and are in no way packed, crowded or uncomfortable. It's completely acceptable for the female drama teacher to walk into the male changing room where her young male students are showering. A white, 5'9" junior is the best high school basketball player in the state of New Mexico. In school hallways they put up really big posters of the most popular boy in school so that obsessed girls can sing to it It's okay to practice incest if you're acting. Students are allowed to work with chemicals unsupervised. Everyone has a secret, and they have practiced to tell everyone about it...in perfect harmony...while dancing...through the medium of song... In high school, you only have class once a day and it's only about 10 minutes long. For the rest of the day you can sing, dance, play basketball, make/foil plans, and hide out in secret gardens as much as you want. Teenaged couples only sing when they're alone together. Nothing more, nothing less. Parents do not teach their children that it's okay to be yourself, only pop songs can do that. Singing and dancing in the hallways is outstandingly normal. If you're the new kid in school, no one is allowed to look at you If you audition for a school play, you send the entire school into pandemonium. Some high schools only have 5 adults on campus. That's how the students get away with dancing in the halls. When you're in love with a stranger, you can memorise lyrics at the drop of a hat. If you're a stressed jock, you need only to go to the school gardens and sing... nobody will find you or pick on you. If you love a girl enough, breaking and entering into her room is not considered a problem. You have to take the bus to school even if your father works there. Warning bells can be easily mistaken for cell phones. Only fat girls like to pop, lock and drop it. All stage fright can be cured by the saying "like kindergarten" You WILL stick to the status quo and if you do not then the entire student body of your school will sing to you until you agree to do so. Students in high school don't need backpacks... or books for that matter. No one will find it weird that you're singing a sexual song to your sibling. If a girl hates you then the way to win her love is to climb up her balcony while she remains oblivious in her bedroom. People keep outfits in their lockers in case of any nacho-related incidents in the cafeteria. All fathers with sons in sports are oblivious to their sons's other needs and desires. Teachers from different departments always hate each other. If you make good cookies, people fall in love with you. A high school can produce 17 musicals in a span of two years. Singing absolves a person of any bad thing they've done. An entire school's network can be crippled by the push of a button. Chilli cheese fries and milk are a substantial meal. The very best way to condemn your friend for singing is to break out into a song yourself. If your love is strong enough, fireworks will go off, and lanterns will fly away as you and your boyfriend kiss. Your friends are not real people and should always be addressed by the name of their school mascot. You can be a chef, lifeguard, or golf assistant...no experience needed! A guy can never wear too much bronzer. The phrase "more moves than an octopus in a wrestling match" is something that can be used in everyday conversation There are two bells that get you out of school. The first one tells you to start singing and dancing, the second announces you should stop. Pianos can float now. If you're upset, just run through a golf course, jumping and spinning, while singing "Bet on it"...you won't fall at any point, and no one will stop and think "what the heck?" . You can send telepathic messages to your mom to tell her to pick you up just as you're finishing your breakup song with your boyfriend. A resort can be highly successful when there are more employees than guests. It is now possible to hire an entire high school to be the staff at an upscale country club. Being a teenage paparazzi at school and taking multiple pictures of the same two people is not weird or creepy in any way It is okay to try to grope your girlfriend if she's leaving you, even though you have never kissed before. When you frolic with your girlfriend in the golf course, you get in trouble. When you frolic by yourself and sing, nothing happens. It IS possible to have any object in the world come in pink & engraved with your initials. If you are the basketball star of your school, you can get yourself, as well as the rest of the school, summer jobs. Tiffany’s makes hair bands When your girlfriend breaks up with you and gives your necklace back, she obviously will somehow emerge out of a crowd wearing it again and singing. Clocks get bigger if you stare at them and chant "summer" You can be a male theater geek who wears sparkly hats and pink shirts, without any of the jocks who you kind of hang out with questioning your sexuality. It is now acceptable to throw grapes at your girlfriends face. It is not at all pompous to give your girlfriend a necklace with your initial on it. The high school marching band is on call 24/7 for spontaneous musical numbers. When you're frustrated with your personal life at work, just take off your shirt and shoot some baskets. Your boss won't mind. Not telling your girlfriend about your new dress shoes you got from your boss, clearly is a reason for her to be concerned and question your relationship. On the last day of school, it is perfectly normal to chant "summer" like a cult. It is worth risking your relationship with your friends and girlfriend for a college that closed down in 1986. If you are always listening to your iPod (or anything musical), copy & paste this 2 your profile! Yeah, I’m a loser. But the coolest loser you'll ever meet. The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not. If you secretly hoped to get a letter from Hogwarts when you were 11, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever seen a movie or read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word, and do so at random moments, copy and paste this to your profile. If you still have to think 'righty tighty, left loosy' when opening, well, anything, copy this into your profile. If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile. If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile. In PJO, Percy will end up with Annabeth because Luke is a stupid loser, and a tratior. And I despise Rachel. She's some freaky art girl, with a freaking hairbrush! What gives?! Jacob Black: Looking SEXIER than you without a t-shirt since 1990. The truest thing in the UNIVERSE!! IF YOU LOVE STEPHENIE MEYER FOR NOT KILLING ANY MAIN CHARACTER THEN COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!! For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Jacob Black, Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you call everyone in the phone book that has the last name Cullen and Black. Crazy is when you honestly belive Edward and Jacob exist. Crazy is when you have wasted all your money buying anything and everything that has to do with Twilight. Crazy is whenever you get too hot or too cold, you think really hard, hoping that Edwrd will hear your thoughts and come cool you down or tell Jacob to come warm you up. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list! If you get ticked and throw a fit until all the people in the room leave because someone said the characters of Twilight aren't real, copy this onto your profile You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile. If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile. If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile. If your friends are considering torturing you because you won't shut up about the Twilight series, copy and paste this in your profile. If, when you have a boy, you'll seriously consider naming him Jacob, copy/paste this into your profile If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball...copy/paste this into your profile. If you flip whenever you see someone reading a Twilight series book and you want to talk to them all about it, copy and paste this in your profile. If you take the time to read all of these, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever had an unhealthy obsession with any -or all- of the Cullens and you don't want to admit it even though you know admitting a problem is the first step to solving it but frankly you don't want the problem to be solved, copy this onto your profile If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile. If you're obsessed with Twilight, copy and paste this list to your profile. If you have ever seriously discussed the pros and cons of vampire/werewolf husbands with your best friend, copy and paste this to your profile. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why is dyslexic so hard to spell? Why is verb a noun? Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? Why do we sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" when we're already there? Why is it called after dark when really it's after light? If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freaking' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile. If people shake their heads when they talk to you copy and paste this is your profile If you run into inanimate objects...and then blame them for it copy and paste this in your profile If you have multiple voices in your head put this in your profile If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. If they are right... copy and paste this into your profile. When life gives you lemons, squirt the lemons in Life's face Boy, I didn't fall for you, you tripped me! Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his moccasins. That way you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes. A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice. Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water! You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid... When it rains on my parade, I bust out the slip n' slide. A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work. If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation. When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them. Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe. If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile. If, at the mention of Michael Jackson, you looked over your shoulder to see if he was in the room, copy this into your profile. I did. If you complain that your feet r cold, so your mom tells u to put on socks, but u never do just for the sake of being stubborn, copy this into ur profile If you've ever called Canada 'Canadia', copy this into your profile If the reason ur so grumpy in the morning is that you stay up til midnight the night before, but stubbornly refuse to go to bed earlier, copy this into your profile. Peanut Butter goes with jelly. It also goes with chocolate. Jelly goes with bread, and bread crumbs are good on chicken. Chicken is good with ketchup. Ketchup is good on a hamburger. Hamburgers are sold at McDonald's. McDonald's is not healthy for you. If you like all or most of the stuff that I said here, copy and paste this onto you page. If you don't, copy and paste anyway but stop eating at McDonald's because it will make you fat. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever walked into a wall because you were looking sideways at a friend, copy this into your profile. If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that people who don't like PJO are crazy/stupid/losers, copy this into your profile. If you think that people who dont like Harry Potter are crazy/stupid/losers, copy this into your profile If you think that people who dont like Twilight are crazy/stupid/losers, copy this into your profile If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, and I mean CONSTANTLY, copy this into your profile. If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile If you have ever been the only one to think some really stupid joke was funny, copy this into your profile. If you only copy and paste this crap into your profile to make fun of yourself, copy this into your profile. Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. If you DON'T check under the bed for monsters, but you DO check behind the shower curtain for monsters/murderers/Michael Jackson, copy this into your profile. I do. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile! Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Zack, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I had to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you" In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech 1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism If you have ever had a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend than copy this to your profile. If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile. If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile. "I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone. If you have ever run into a tree, copy and paste this into your profile. If you want to fire and/or sue those bloody weather men for giving you false hope so often (for snow days or something)...Copy and paste this to your profile, so we know who to call when we lead an angry mob :) I smile because I have no idea what’s going on. Girls List twelve of your favorite characters from books, in no particular order. 1. Alice Cullen (she's so quirky...) 2. Farid...just Farid, i guess...(from Inkspell) 3. Travis Stoll (LOVE HIM!! idk why i prefer him over his brother, though...) 4. Jacob Black (LOVE HIM FOREVER!!) 5. Nico di Angelo (LOVE HIM TOO!! he's so tough, in his own sensitive way...) 6. Jasper Hale (he's sooo... emo... in his own way) 7. Harry Potter (he has a cool scar) 8. Percy Jackson (he's going out with the awesomeness... lol) 9. Draco Malfoy (he's sooo evil...but hott...sighs) 10. Renesmee Cullen (she's sooo cute!!) 11. Hermoine Granger (proof that nerds can be cool, too) 12. Annabeth Chase (awesomeness...that's the only way to describe her) 1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to? uhhh...no. 2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot? YES!! He's hotter than a sauna on fire in a volcano on the sun!! Times 994,617,654,017,650,716,560,147,657,645,176 infinity!! 3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? could be possible...in, like 8 years or so... 4. Can you recall any fics about Nine? yeah, tons!! 5. Would Two and Six make a good couple? EEWWWWW!! NO!! THAT'S GAY!! 6. Five/Nine or Nine/Ten? Why? neither, cuz draco/nico is gay, and renesmee already has jacob(JEALOUS!!) 7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve making out? Harry would see Farid and Annabeth making out and then he would go tell Meggie and Percy and Meggie would probably turn emo and read herself into a book where she would surley die and Percy would use his water ability type thing to ruin the book Meggie went into, therefore tourturing Farid before Percy drowns him. 8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic. What happens when Travis is caught stealing from Renesmee's room one day? She says, "Who the heck are you?!" cuz thay're in different books!! 9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff? Man, I hope not... 10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic. Annabeth Misses the Lightning (I DON'T KNOW!!) 11. Does anyone on your friends list read Three het? no 12. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven? no 13. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five? EEWWWW!! that'd be triple gay!! 14. If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose? Move Along by All-American Rejects 15. If you wrote a One/Six/Eleven fic, what would the summary be? One day, Alice and Jasper are babysitting Renesmee. Suddenly, they fall into a love triangle!! Warning: Extreme family wierdness... 16. When was the last time you read a fic about Five? like, 3 days ago?? 17. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (10)." Alice and Harry are in a happy relationship until Draco runs off with Jacob (NOOO!! run off with ME!! not another GUY!!). Alice, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Hermoine(ewww!!) and a brief unhappy affair with Annabeth, then follows the wise advice of Nico and finds true love with Renesmee. What title would you give this fic? Insanity of the Homosexuals 18. How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon? no comment... O.o If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile. If you have EVER been so obsessed with a song you actually A.) dream about it, B.) sing it in school no mattter who's listening OR C.) know the lyrics by heart and sing it no matter how off key you are, copy this in your profile. Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in God put this in your profile.Come to the dark side, we have cookies! You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me. My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious problems. When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back. If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon copy and paste this onto your profile. If your family/friends/people around you stared at you when you did the aforementioned, copy and paste this onto your profile. ¸.•´¸•´¨) ¸.•¨) ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•¨) I'm so gangsta, I carry a squirt gun. The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun It's always the last place you look. Of course it is. Why the heck would I keep looking after I found it? When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then sit back and enjoy while others try to figure out how you did it. Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life Boy: My life The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile I believe in Jesus Christ the Lord as my savior and redeemer, and could not live without him in my life. If you do too, and aren't afraid to admit it, copy and paste this into your profile, signature, or whatever, and add your name to the list.Kakashis-First-Kiss, Katie Ladmoore, AlissaLovell14. If you say "Screw Gryffindor" and think a different Hogwarts House is better, C&P If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says, ‘If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.’ If you truly believe in God, copy and paste this into your profile. If Jesus is your savior, copy and paste this into your profile. Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not. If you think "your mom" is a good insult C& P I sat back looking at the stars and began to think.. where the HECK is my roof! If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen! If you have OORFS (Over Obsessive Rabid Fangirl Syndrome) And proud of it, copy this and paste it in your profile. Winks at Taylor Lautner ╔╗╔╗ If you know you'll be super super mad if Jasper doesn't get to have his big moment in the New Moon movie, copy and paste this onto your profile If you noticed that Jasper wouldn't be able to be in the ballet studio in Twilight because if he flipped out over a paper cut then he would deffinately flip out when Bella was bleeding like crazy with the gushing head and all that Jazz, copy and paste this onto your profile Pick ten of your own characters (You can be included) in any order. 1. Austin 2. Zoe 3. Travis 4. Taylor 5. Matthew 6. Geoffrey 7. Chelsea 8. Chase 9. Madi 10. Lia1) Eight walks into Ten's room while he/she is changing, what would happen? Chase: Woah... Lia: GET THE -- OUT OF MY ROOM!! Lia takes a baseball bat convieniently located next to her bed and beats Chase into a pulp2) Three and Four are fighting, but then Six comes in and brings Three and Four together as a couple. Travis:YOU BROKE MY CD COLLECTION!! Taylor:SO?! IT ALL SUCKED!! Travis:DID NOT!! YOUR MUSIC SUCKS!! Taylor:DOES NOT!! Geoffrey:SHUT UP!! LISTEN!! You both agree that the other's music is horrible, right? Travis and Taylor: Yeah... Geoffrey: And you both think my girlfriend is strange, right?? Travis and Taylor: Yeah... Geoffrey:So you guys have more in common that you thought!! Now just kiss already!! Travis and Taylor look at each other Both: OKAY!! They randomly start making out 3) Five and Nine are talking when Seven runs in between yelling "I love (One)!" Matthew and Madi: Chelsea!! We know!! Now go annoy him about it!! Chelsea: OKAY!! AUSTIN!! I LOVE YOU!! WAAAAAAHHH!! 4) Ten and Two are in the middle of a battle when seven comes flying through screaming "Super (Seven's name)" Zoe and Lia look at each other before deciding to fight Chelsea, for she has no weapon 5) Ten kills Eight, Eight's last words? Chase: You still look hot!! Lia: SHUT UP AND DIE ALREADY!! 6) One, two, three, and four are fighting when Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, and Ten come to watch. What happens? Austin, Zoe, Travis, and Taylor are fighting Matthew and Madi are rooting for someone to get hurt Chelsea: KICK THEIR BUTTS AUSTIN!! I LOVE YOU!! Lia and Geoffrey are fiercley making out Chase sees and gets jealous Madi and Matthew: GET A ROOM!! Lia and Geoffrey continue to make out Taylor wins the fight by using illegal actions Taylor: YOU JUST GOT PWND!! WHAT!! Everyone except Lia and Geoffrey: Don't you guys EVER breathe?! Lia and Geoffrey shake their heads while still making out I believe there is one true God. I believe he created the universe, and everything in it. I believe he sent his only son to Earth. I believe Jesus was nailed to a cross and had a crown of thorns placed on his head. I believe he rose from the dead and ascended into heaven to sit on the right hand of God. I believe that Jesus can work miracles. I believe that God really does listen to my prayers, and I believe he sends angels to watch over me at night. I believe God will love me for all eternity. I believe God will take me, a sinner, and love me no matter what. I believe that although I am a sinner, God will be proud of me. I believe that judgment day is already at hand. I believe that the fate of the world is in God’s hands.If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl) comix-freak (Artemis Fowl (and Arty is my one and only!))scarilyobsessed(Fang, from maximum ride) Natalie-07 (Jack Sparrow, I know I know he's older then my dad but it's not like we're actually dating!) Silverstar's Shadow (Kratos Aurion (like practically every other girl who plays ToS religiously), Yuan (damn the people who decided to never tell you his last name!), Sirius Black (not Gary the Old Man... I imagined him to look a little more like Adam from Three Days Grace... hehe... Ahem.), Draco Malfoy), AsterEris:Firefall'sLegacy(Jasper Cullen...sigh...and PRINCE CASPIAN.), AviorHyrax (Fell from fell...I love him, I know, hes a wolf...can't I have my dream? Murtaghlaughing really hard right now Aster..., Mr. Darcyawwwww, i love him, again, still laughing,artemis fowl, Victor, from Cathy's book/key(I have a lot more but still)), some crazy girl who likes pie (Um... My friend's in love with Firestar, does that count? lol, no, jk. (Even though she is)), Black Wolf Jaganshi Lover (So...many...bishies XD) Shandril Wielder Of Spellfire (Raistlin of Dragonlance)Pinetail (yes quite a few, Harry, Jasper Hale,Carlisle (AKA Dr.Mcsparkly, so what he is old... but realyl hot!!) Katie Ladmoore (Anakin Skywalker!!) AlissaLovell14(Jacob Black...he's SOOOOOOO sexy!! why can't you be real?!) Stereotypes suck! They are so dumb! Not all of these are true about me but are examples, some are really mean! The ones in Bold apply to me I am "POPULAR", so I MUST be a rude stuck up brat I'm AUTISTIC, so I MUST be mean and have no self control I get STRAIGHT A’S, so I MUST be a weird Stop sterotypes! Copy this into your bio. Some Problems Caused by TwilightGirlfriend and Boyfriend: "I think we should see other people." "What! Why?" "You aren’t… right for me." "It’s because I don’t sparkle, isn’t it?" "I-no, no of course not." "It is! Look, I can buy some body glitter or something-" " But it is not the same!! runs away crying I’d so get in that argument…Daughter and her Dad: "Hey, sweetie, look what I decided to dress up as for Halloween!" "What Da- OH MY GOD." "I know you’ve been reading those books so I thought…" "DAD THIS IS WRONG IN SO MANY WAYS." "oh, you’re just saying that." "IS THAT BODY GLITTER??" "Well yah, you see-" "WHAT THE HELL?!" "Oh, stop over-reacting." "Hey mom, is that your- WHAT THE-??" If you’re smart enough for Ravenclaw but evil enough for Slytherin like me copy and paste this into your profile. (GOOOO SLYTHERCLAW!!) Suddenly, from downstairs, 2 gallons of blood: 1 Paintbrushes and buckets: 20 The look on Jasper's face when He realizes you've painted his room with blood: Priceless Its ok to cry, I cried, so can you. If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Now you have 2 choices, SOOOO SAD!! Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. If you're against abortion, re-post this "Stupefy!" Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. The following questions were answered on July 20, 2009 at 9:27 P.M. (\ _ /) This is Bunny. 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breath. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at others: |
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