In which Gray and Natsu somehow manage to perform an amazing magical technique through a complete accident, and neither is pleased with the results. The girls' feelings are a little more...mixed.

Juvia's latest foray into non-consensual mind-altering drugs goes horribly wrong, leaving a drugged Gray in "love" with Erza. Erza has no idea what to do with her love-struck friend and his furious suitor, but if she thinks things are bad now, she only has to wait for the effects to wear off. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...or like a man whose heart has been tampered with.

There's a monster in Minato's head, curled around his soul.

Everyone has a different opinion of the budding non-relationship, but no matter what anyone else says, Juvia is love-struck and ready to finally win over her beloved. Gray is having none of it. This is NOT Gruvia.

Tenzō is being haunted.

Kurama just wants to finish his nap in peace. A particularly idiotic human is making that rather hard.

Pretty things don't last in Zabuza's hands. They break or scar or are damaged beyond repair, and he's left clutching a worthless shell of something that used to be precious. He'd worried, at first, that this would be the same way. But Utakata is a jinchuuriki, and there's nothing in the entire world that could so much as scratch him without a hell of a lot of effort.

Naruto is hot. Kakashi is losing his mind.

After returning from Edolas, Natsu finds himself thinking about how the Natsu and Gray in that world seem to share a much closer friendship than the Natsu and Gray in Earthland. Gray unknowingly helps him realize that he's actually had everything he's wanted all along.

Genma just wants a relationship. Really, at this point any will do. Kotetsu, Izumo, and Iruka are simply not having it. Anyone who wants to get their grubby paws on Genma is going to have to go through them first. (Let it also be said that Kakashi is definitely not above cheating when something he wants is on the line.) An alternate, somewhat slapstick coda to Fallen here to grace.

As far as Sakura's concerned, she has more than a paycheck coming to her after being personally requested by the Mizukage and shipped off to Mist as part of a diplomatic deal. After all, a team of painfully green medics is one thing, but she draws a line at tetchy, old hunter-nin. Crack, character study, crack, friendship, and crack.

Sakura is not certain exactly how long she has been laying there bleeding before he comes, but she is very glad that he did.

The Wave Mission was a failure. They got caught, captured, taken-it didn't end well. Now Sakura has a half-heard order, uncut fingernails, and more desperation than bravery. One way or another, she's getting Team Seven out today. Complete.

A lesson on cuddling leads to admissions leads to affirmations. No pairings.