As long as humanity exists there will always be those who wish to do harm to others.

As long as there is love there will always be hatred.

As long as there is a growing darkness there will always be a light sworn to defend the innocent.

As long as there is power there will always be those who wish to claim it.

As long as there is peace there will always be conflict.

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Balance and chaos go hand in hand.

What makes a hero?

Does saving one life define a hero?

Even if the savoir is someone who is drenched in blood and came from a group filled with lies?

I don't know the answer.

Answers don't come easy.

But they're not supposed too.

War breeds pain...but I believe only those who've felt true pains in their lives are the only ones who can become true heroes.

Dedicated to the heroes who lost their lives during the Fourth Great Shinobi War; may their spirits forever rest and finally be at peace.

Quote from Redrover117 in his story Naruto: Whirlpool Chronicles.

Who Am I?

I am the boy...that doesn't go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the boy that people look through when I say something. I am the boy that spends most of his free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the boy that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the boy that doesn't spend all his time on MySpace, or talking about cars, girls or sex to his firends. I am the boy that hasn't been asked out in a year...or ever. I am the boy that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and slash in the rain.

But I am also the boy who knows and is proud to be who he is, doesn't care if people call him weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express himself better with words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and paste this to your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the people who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.The First Kitsukage, Dragon of Time, The-Moon-is-my-Mistress, Wolf That Hunts The Moon

Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.

Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris' evil twin brother, Richard Simmons, once approached Chuck with the hope of reconciliation, but at the sight of Richard's curly, well kept hair, Chuck Norris became so enraged that he turned green with hate and ripped Richard Simmons arms and legs off. This action was the origin of the Marvel Comic badass, The Incredible Hulk.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.

Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

Archaeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

When Ranma Saotome killed the Phoenix God King Saffron, Chuck Norris, being a half a world away, looked up in pride, smiled and said “that’s my boy!”

Chuck Norris has a Chance in Hell.

Originally the Joker was Chuck’s arch-foe, but one roundhouse kick later, his skin turned white, his hair green and he headed for Gotham.

You really want to know how Joker got those scars? Chuck roundhouse kicked him in the face.

The reason why Outworld hadn’t went for their tenth win against Earth realm is because Raiden threatened to get Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can defeat Darkside’s optic blasts with a roundhouse kick. (There os a pic of this on Deviantart.com)

Chuck got Sparda, Dante’s father, out of hell.

Master Chief is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was sent ten thousand years to the past, met and married a goddess who in turn gave him a daughter. We know the child as: Sailor Moon.

Chuck doesn’t wash his dishes, they get clean out of fear.

Chuck Norris is on earth to do two things: drink milk and kick butt. He just finished his milk.

Chuck Norris once got angry and kicked a building. That building is found in Pisa.

They say that if you type "Google" into Google, you break the Internet. It is more commonly said that if you type "Chuck Norris" into Google, the Internet breaks you.

When Chuck Norris jumped into water, he didn't get wet. The water got Chuck Norrised.

When Chuck Norris watched a chick flick it was considered manly.

Chuck Norris made Journey stop believing

The sky is the limit, unless of course you're Chuck Norris

When the Universe was young and foolish, it got in a fight with Chuck Norris. We know this as the "Big Bang".

Some people can skip rocks on water. Chuck Norris can skip water on rocks.

The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing Chuck Norris did not kill you in your sleep.

Chuck Norris once peed on an eighteen wheeler. It is now known as Optimus Prime.

Crop circles are warnings to aliens that Chuck Norris lives here.

The saddest part of a young child's life is not finding out Santa isn't real...It's finding out Chuck Norris is.

Chuck Norris once carved a life-size model of his cat from stone. His cat's name was Sphinx

The song " What if God Walked Among Us?" was Chuck Norris' way of tipping us off.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE:

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered for having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as The Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust, his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Nothing is true. Everything is permitted.

-Assassin's Creed

"Introverts are the people who instead of destroying what is around them, they destroy the inner-workings of themselves." -Anonymous

"In the absence of anything to fret about I quickly start to lose all sense of my own identity, like a lumberjack waking up to discover all the trees in the world built a space rocket and left for another galazy during the night. Worries hold me together. Worries form my exoskeleton." - Charlie Brooker

"I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim." - Anonymous

"I realized my happiness was artificial. I felt happy because I saw the others were happy and because I knew I should feel happy, but I wasn't really happy." - Roberto Bolano

"It's really weird thinking about how every person you walk by has a name and a personality and a group of friends you'll never know and a messed up family or an awesome family or that they're in love or that they're depressed or are having the best or worst day of their life. There are a lot of people around and I'll hardly know any of them." - Anonymous

"I'm in therapy at the moment. I don't need it, obviously, but I got all these psychiatrist gift vouchers for Christmas which my family clubbed together for. What I really wanted was a crossbow." - Sean Lock

"I make it easier for people to leave by making them hate me a little." - Cecelia Ahern

"Thomas Edison's last words were 'It's very beautiful over there'. I don't know where there is, but I believe it's somewhere, and I hope it's beautiful." -John Green

"What you must understand about me is that I'm a deeply unhappy person." -John Green

"I loathe when people think I'm shy rather than introverted. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being shy, I'm just not, and they are two separate things. People cajoling me into social situations try to assure me that "I don't have to talk to everyone" or that "everyone will love me." Bitch, of course they will like me. I am delightful. I just find prolonged social interactions to be extremely exhausting." - Anonymous

"More and more, it feels like I'm doing a really bad impersonation of myself." - Chuck Palahniuk

"the tigers have found me

and I do not care."

-Charles Bukowski

"There comes a time when you look into the mirror and you realize that what you see is all that you will ever be. And then you accept it. Or you kill yourself. Or you stop looking in mirrors." -Tennessee Williams

"The loneliest moment in someone's life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly." -F. Scott Fitzgerald

"If you want to kill yourself, kill what you don't like. Kill narcissus. I had an old self that I killed. You can kill yourself too, but that doesn't mean you got to stop living." - Vargus

"I'm almost never serious, and I'm always too serious. Too deep, too shallow. Too sensitive, too cold hearted. I'm like a collection of paradoxes." -Ferdinand von Schrubentaufft

"They say you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time." -Banksy

""There was an episode, one of my favorite moments in Star Trek, when Captain Kirk looks over the cosmos and says, ‘Somewhere out there someone is saying the three most beautiful words in any language.’ Of course you heart sinks and you think it’s going to be, ‘I love you’ or whatever. He says, ‘Please help me.’ What a philosophically fantastic idea, that vulnerability and need is a beautiful thing." -Hugh Laurie

"He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower." - Terry Pratchett

“I cannot stand small talk, because I feel like there’s an elephant standing in the room shitting all over everything and nobody is saying anything. I’m just dying to say, “Hey, do you ever feel like jumping off a bridge?” or “Do you feel an emptiness inside your chest at night that is going to swallow you?” But you can’t say that at a cocktail party.” Paul Gilmartin

"You're not going to fix any self-esteem issues by attempting to bolster my ego. I'm a depressed genius; I can reason my way out of any compliment by the time you've finished giving it." Anonymous

"The scariest thing about the world is knowing it goes on when you're not there." Erik Kahn

“I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.” - Elizabeth Gilbert

Tea for Two

"It wasn't until after

I poured the second cup

that I realized

I was alone."

- Richard Brautigan

"I ask for help in riddles." Anonymous

"Take a writer away from his typewriter

and all you have left

is

the sickness

which started him

typing

in the

beginning." Anonymous

"There's nothing so black as the inferno of the human mind." Anonymous

"Just don't thrive on being sad." Anonymous

"I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious." Albert Einstein

"And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good." John Steinbeck

"You're the strangest person I ever met, she said & I said you too

& we decided we'd know each other a long time." Anonymous

"Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head."

"And i tried to shed my skin

to rid myself of scars

but they were carved in my bones too." Anonymous

"I just want you to know that you're very special and the only reason I'm telling you is that I don't know if anyone else ever as." The perks of being a Wallflower

"I am in my own mind.

I am locked in the wrong house." Anonymous

"“I used to feel so alone in the city. All those gazillions of people and then me, on the outside. Because how do you meet a new person? I was very stunned by this for many years. And then i realized, you just say, "Hi." They may ignore you. Or you may marry them. And that possibility is worth that one word.” Augestun Burroughs

"Sometimes I feel so stupid and dull and uncreative that I am amazed when people tell me differently." Sylvia Plath

"It was good to laugh. I wanted to laugh and laugh and laugh until I laughed myself into becoming someone else."

"The worst thing is watching someone drown and not being able to convince them that they can save themselves by just standing up."

"If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently."

"How so?"

"Well, when you look into infinity, you realize that there are more important things that what people do all day."

"I am trying to imagine a world where good things happen to people like me."

"last night,

i tried to drown my sorrows, but

i drowned myself

instead."

"please understand if I see you again don't even say hello. please."

"I'm sorry that you are so sad. I love you and I want for you to be happy. Sorry I couldn't help."

"I'm too much of a coward to kill myself, and too much of a coward to live."

"All this because God forgot to add the seratonin."

"If you think that nothing is impossible, then you've obviously never tried slamming a revolving door."
"2 wrongs don't make a right; 3 wrongs do."
"I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."
"I'm a paranoid apathiest. I know someones out to get me and I just don't care."
"If the world was a stage, I'd want to be the one operating the trap door."
"I wonder why people say 'life is so short?' when life is the longest thing that you will ever experience?"
"An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good!' "
"You can't have everything... where would you put it?"
"Travel to exotic places, see new things, meet more people and make more friends... then kill them."
"A consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and make it sound confusing."
"Never go to sleep with a grudge... plot your revenge!"
"If curiosity killed the cat, then what about it's other lives?"
"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying."
"Here's to you and here's to me, and I hope we never disagree. But, if we do, then to HELL with you, here's to ME!"
"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes."
"I've not failed. I've just found thousand ways that don't work."
"According to the latest figures, 43 percent of all statistics are utterly worthless."
"Don't steal. The government hates the competition."
"Tell the truth and run."
"Smile! It makes them wonder what you're up to."
"Friends come, and friends go, but enemies accumulate."
"Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense.."
"Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat."
"Generally, generalizations are wrong."
"Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad."
"All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative."
"If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be research."
"The Truth is out there. So what are you doing here?"
"If you can't beat them, join them. Then take over."
"Whatever you are, be a good one."
"You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist."
"You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public."
"Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong."
"The difficulty is not so great as to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for."
"If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done?"
"Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead."
"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years."
"We don't live in the world of reality, we live in the world of how we percieve reality."
"If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire."
"A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic."
"Have the courage to live. Anyone can die."
"Education is important. School, however, is another matter."
"When a finger points at the moon, the imbecile looks at the finger."
"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months."

Things To Ponder:

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ?
Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?

Some favorite (and completely weirdo) sayings:

I write for the same reason that I breath. . . because if I didn't then I would die.
I had a thought but it got lonely and went away.
Money talks and mine says "Good-bye."
Went into the grinder and came out as hair
Touch it and see if it's hot (you just had to be there for that one)
It's okay to talk to yourself, it's okay to ask yourself questions, it's even okay to answer those questions. Just don't ever ask yourself a question and then go "huh?"
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
Don't spend money you don't have cause at some point they're going to want it and you're still not going to have it.
A friend will bail you out of jail at two o'clock in the morning but a true friend will be sitting in the cell beside you saying "Damn that was fun!"
A friend will help you move but a true friend will help you move a body
Due to the worsening of the economy the light at the end of the tunnel has been temporarily turned off.
I do not suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
My train of thought got derailed.
If someone gave you half a brain, you'd still only have half a brain.
All things in the world are mind over matter; if you don't mind then it doesn't matter.
Close only counts in horseshoes and handgrenades.
Most people have a filter between their brain and their mouth that tells them when they shouldn't say something. Me, not so much
Shut up brain or I'll stab you with a Q-tip again.
I tried to keep an open mind but my brains kept falling out
The more things change, the more things remain. . . insane.
You have hate mail. . . you have more hate mail. . . your hate mailbox is full. (occassionably Disney comes up with some real winners.)
Knowledge is power. . . power corrupts. . . study hard. . . BE EVIL!
Your talking is getting in the way of my telling you to shut up.
I'm in hillbilly hell! My IQ is dropping by the second! I'm becoming one of them!
Why is the rum gone?!
'Stress' A condition brought on by over riding the body's desire to kick someone's ass.
Always glad to inadvertantly inspire genius.

Its you and me against the world... we attack at dawn

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS THINGS COULD GET WORSE.WHEN THEY ARE AS WORSE AS THEY CAN GET,IT CAN ONLY GET BETTER

My knight in shining amour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the hell is the ceiling?

The road to success is always under construction.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

When life gives you a lemon, throw the lemon back and demand chocolate

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.

Oh, I have a photographic memory... it just hasn't developed yet

I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns. But those bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again...

Slinky Escalator Endless fun

Engineering: 'How will this work?' Science: ‘Why will this work?' Management: 'When will this work? Liberal Arts: ‘Do you want fries with that?

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is human’s way of saying you can't fire me, I quit.

I hear your silence loud and clear.

Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?

How can I miss you if you never left?

I'm not with stupid anymore!

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls… and poles… and other stuff…

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Therapist The/rapist... scary thought…

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Tell the truth and run.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

Why do people say, “You can't have your cake and eat it too?” Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?

When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own damn lemonade.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Don't mess with me I've got a stick.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

Stupidity can hurt, I broke a rib laughing at you

You? Die? You're too mean to die.

Okay, that was amusing at first, but now it's somewhat scary

We should have thrown you in the dungeon years ago

Or we could eat you. I never had rat before, but with the right sauce, who knows?

At last! My plans for world domination are complete! MAHAHAHAA? Oh look, something shiny...must go look.

"Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing."

If you can't fix it with duck tape you haven't used enough!

I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on eBay.

"I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose"

"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies natural desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.

"Join the Vampires; we have Jasper Hale."

The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.

To put it nicely, I hope you choke.

Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot.

I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!

You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

I did what they say and chose the road less traveled...Now where the heck am I?

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

At least I don't CARE what those mindless people think of me.

This world is full of crazy people.THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER!!

I'm here because Heaven wouldn't take me,and hell was afraid I'd take over.

I'm not afraid of Death.What's he gonna do,kill me?

When I'm at Deaths door, I'm going to ring the bell and run like mad.

Get to know your stalker, they'll be there for a while.

When Life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS

Why is when we talk to god we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and bitchslap that motherfucker upside the head.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

The cops never find it as funny as you do.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunatley it kills all its pupils,

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep not screaming like the passengers in his car.

One way to find out if something works: push all the buttons.

It's always the last place you look for it... of course it is! Why would you keep looking if you found it?

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have.

Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

My favorite word is sarcasm.

Please don't drop cigarette buds on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

If you want to look young and thin, hang around with old fat people.

If Wal-mart is lowering their prices everyday, how come the store isn't free yet?

Sarcasm doesn't work on a sarcastic person.

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

What hair color do they put down on the driver's licenses of a bald man?

I'm not littering... just donating to the Earth.

It's funny--the people who want quiet are always the loudest getting people to shut up.

I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you... you're just not laughing.

Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not sure about the universe.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

Children in frontseats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children..

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

Smile. It confuses people.

"Help! I've fallen and I can't--Hey! Nice carpet!"

You know it's a bad day when you roll off the bed...and miss the floor.

It's not a complete day unless I scare the crap out of one of my friends.

I'm not afraid of death. What's it going to do? Kill me?

How come parents always say, "Don't take candy from strangers," But on Halloween, it is encouraged? Am I the only sane person?

Sticks and Stones can break my bones, But words can hurt my inner child.

A wise MAN once said, "I don't know, go ask a woman,"

It's so simple to be wise! Just think of something stupid to say and then say the exact opposite...

Love your enemies, it pisses them off.

And just when I found the key to success...someone goes and changes all the locks!!

I used to have a handle on life... and then it broke.

It's always funny until someone gets hurt!!...then it's hysterical.

There's always light at the end of the tunnel...just pray it's not a train.

Don't blame yourself. Let me do it

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it'll be hard to pronounce!

The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but It's still on the list.

You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.

Now we know why some animals eat their own children.

Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.

Talk is cheap, but that's ok, so are you.

This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.

A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today.

Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?

Don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be let out on its own.

Don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure.

Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without you putting in so much effort to give us another?

I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

Never trust a dog to watch your food.

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

Be OPTIMISTIC... all the people you hate are eventually going to die!!

You're laughing now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

If you don't like my driving stay off the sidewalk

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it everytime I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.

Don't steal. The government hates the competition.

If at first you don't succeed, change the rules.

You can ask permission now or beg forgiveness later.

Never regret what once made you smile.

Stupidity killed the cat, curiosity was framed.

I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.

The difference between humor and tragedy is that humor is when it happens to someone else.

Shock me... say something intelligent.

Everyone's entitled to be stupid but you're just abusing the privilege.

Remember what you just said because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and then you'll be sorry.

You'er not yourself today; I noticed the improvement immediately

Percussive maintenance - the art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to make it work again.

Anyone who says easy as taking candy from a baby has clearly never tried it.

When you're right no one remembers, when you're wrong no one forgets.

Sometimes I lay awake at night and ask myself, "Where did I go wrong?" and a voice answers back, "When you decided to shoot the idiots rather than blow them up and got us thrown in jail."

At my lemonade stand I shall give you two glasses; the first is free, the second if five dollars because it contained the antidote to go with the first.

Happiness is when the dentist says it won't hurt a bit, and then gets his hand caught in the drill.

I like you; when the world is mine your death shall be quick and painless while the others are suffering.

I please only one person a day; today is not you're day and tomorrow isn't looking so good either.

I see you're playing stupid again, looks like you're winning.

One day, we will look back on this day, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound that they make as they go by.

My imaginary friend thinks you have issues.

I am on a quest to the deepest darkest corner of my room in search of what some might call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends, I may not return alive.

You don't like me? So what? I don't wake up every morning to impress you.

The Situation in Hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."

The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."

17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.

19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.

20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.

27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.

37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.

38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.

39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.

40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.

42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.

43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.

44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.

45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.

46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.

47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.

48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.

49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.

50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.

51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.

52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.

54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.

55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.

56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.

58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.

59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.

60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.

61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.

62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.

63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.

64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.

65. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.

66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.

67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.

68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.

69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.

71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.

72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.

73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.

74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.

75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.

76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)

77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.

78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."

79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.

80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.

81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.

83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.

84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.

85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."

86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.

87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.

89. After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.

90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.

91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.

92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.

94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.

95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.

96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.

97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.

98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.

100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached.

A ninja waits until the dead of night, when the enemy sleeps and drops his guard, when his weapons lie forgotten in the stillness of the night, that is the moment for a ninja to strike. Copy this into your profile if you're a Ninja!

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to

Come to the dark side... WE HAVE COOKIES!!

But if you are a true Ninja...

Come to the dark side... WE HAVE KUNOICHIS!!!

Unless you piss them off then we have castrations

Birth Months: (bold yours) Don't know how good this is but mine is fairly accurate (I think)

JANUARY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY:
Abstract thoughts.Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH:
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL:
Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST:
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave andcaring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led.Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER:
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well.Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

As far as my favorite stories list goes I'm pretty lax about the criteria for putting stories on it, some of these stories are superb real works of art, others are there because of an interesting concept or just one or two good lines that I really enjoyed. Some even have things in them that I really don't like or that are disturbing from just poor writing all the way up to graphic rape scenes, these stories are there because they will have other scenes or ideas that really impressed me due to there creativity or intricacy. What I mean by all this is please, don't judge me too harshly based up that list.