![]() Author has written 2 stories for Twilight, and Harry Potter. Hi. Go to hell, stop bugging me with the frikkin' stories. THEY ARE AWFUL, and I'm done with 'em. Kay? :) Great. My name is Lolli. Or, like. not really. But ok. I'm norwegian. Du-uh. I'm also sarcastic, sadistic, perverted, arrogant, and violent. Lolli x. I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts: 1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball. 2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office. 3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter. 4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick. 5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar. 6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination. 7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms." 8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy. 9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month." 10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand. 12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force." 13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work." 14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot. 15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it. 16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive. 17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast. 18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day." 19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways. 20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor. 21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort. 22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy. 23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling. 24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full." 25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell. 26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate. 27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways. 28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees." 29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge. 30) I will not go to class skyclad. 31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core." 32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm. 33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers. 34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion. 35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends." 36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends." 37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak. 38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine. 39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts. 40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!" 41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck. 42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus. 43) I will not lick Trevor. 44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey." 45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween. 46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously. 47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions. 48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet. 49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice. 50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God. |
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