NOTE TO AUSSIES AND AMERICANS: This profile involves English humor, which you may or may not understand. Read at your own peril.

(Before you read the pre-profile you must read the pre-pre-profile which states thusly: I AM A PUBLISHED MOTHER&$%^ER*. THREE TIMES. YEAAAAAAAAAAAH) You may now read the pre-profile.

This translates as author

(Before you read my profile or any of my stories, please note that i know my stories are pretty bad. They aren't finished and may possible (but probably not) get better when i get the time, so don't go flaming like some kind of high elephant until the story is finished. I will then take all flaming but by then will have found my dragonskin coat)

"I am a budding young writer" one of the 100 worst ways to start a profile and unfortunately, true. Except for the budding. I am definitely not a sentient kind of rose-bush. My first visit to fanfic was when my friend discovered it when we still enjoyed reading Percy Jackson (it's a terrible series, don't read), and he of course instantly searched with the Mature filter. Oh boy.

I am English!!! Don't think that's a good thing (not that you ever would, unless you happen to be a patriotic English-person which is highly unlikely). Being English is boring. England is boring. In England, we have a national sport called Extreme Tea Drinking. Fortunately I'm also Scottish where we THROW BLOODY MASSIVE TREE TRUNKS AT EACH OTHER AND EAT NOTHING BUT HAGGIS!!! In Scotland, happy hours are 100 hours long... fun ;D

This profile is like my trashcan, my junk e-mail box, my brain. It is full of random crap and, for want of a better word, shit. If anyone wants to dump any more shit in this bin, please mail me your ideas. I will feed any unwanted pieces of crap to Grue, my pet Grue.

Has anyone ever been on the PJO archive and searched with the M category? It is hilarious, the crap that some people write.

I have once been accused of having a life. Can you believe that???

My Stories:

Tord, Gale (a load of other stuff) and The Olympians

This is the story where my claimed characters come in, Tord ~ "Son of Hades, bit slow in the head, but cool." Gale ~ "..." nuff said. Son of the Ice God (read the story and find out). He has no mother and has a power level of 1337. Grues are included in this story. Follow this link to find out about Grues. I am very sorry at the crappyness of the first chapter, plz read the 2nd one XD. In fact I'm sorry for the crappyness of this entire fic! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... er, *cough* sorry.

The Hangover

A short one off. A cross-over with Terry Pratchet's Unseen Academicals (It includes some of his characters. I do not own any characters in the story). When Rincewind the wizard is pushed through a portal by his Luggage he find himself wandering through the forest at Camp-Half Blood. Percy just happens to be unlucky enough to find him. (terrible, makes no sense, high chance you may be confused, no point really)

The Atlantis of the Frozen Flame

This story is new, and will be under construction for a loooooooong time. I will probably release the preview when I get to chapter 5 so that's something to look forward to. Basically, it's about Gale, the Kraken, and Atlantis. And a girl called because i haven't thought of a name yet, although it's probably going to turn out to be Azira. If anyone has any ideas for a name for a daughter of Poseidon (crap it's a spoiler) then please PM and i will think about it. Atlantis isn't where you'd think. It isn't where anyone'd think. And it's alive. Atlantis is back, and it's bringing friends, friends so old, that even the titans have forgotten them. (probably never will be finished, sorry)

Out of The Hangover and into the...

This is the random, one off sequal to The Hangover. I am throwing more Discworld characters at Percy to see what happens. This one is about the Nac Mac Feegle, The Wee Free Men, the fightin' theivin' picties who were thrown out of fairyland for being drunk and discorderly. So what happens when they find a rabbit in a waistcoat (or "A flopsy inna bigjob's coat!") and fall down a hole into the Camp forest? I do not own the Nac Mac Feegle, Terry Pratchet owns them. I don't own the flopsy either. (same as The Hangover)

Close Encounters of the Morporkian Kind

My first Discworld fic! A Discworld-Close Encounters of the Third Kind style fic. When Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler sees dark circles in the sky, he sees only one option. Tell the Patrician. But when Commander Sam Vimes of the Night Watch begins to see visions we discover that this is not just a job for the Watch... (hopes are high for this one but proving tricky and going very, very slowly)

Stay in tune for more updates!

Favorite Color: Black. No I am not an emo. But now because i said that you think I am and that I'm trying to lure you into a false sense of security, which I am not

Favorite Ruler of the World: Me (Note : You know nothing... almost nothing about me)

Favorite Weapon: @!*$iING NUKE !#%$ES... lol only jking. My fav wep is prolly THE MURDERY KNIFE OF STABBYNESS. This is a very pointless catagory, but i don't care. It's fit to be in my trashcan.

Favorite Fictional Character Couples: Me/me (Note: You still know almost nothing about me)

Favorite Book Series: Discworld

Favorite Author: Terry Pratchet

Religion: Longcat "Longcat is looooooooong!" ~ Bible of Longcat It's not a serious religion but i just beleive it yea

Noigiler: Tacgnol "Tacgnol si gnooooooooool!" ~ Elbib fo Tacgnol S'ti ton a suoires noigiler tub I tsuj evieleb ti aey

Hobby: Ice skating. I have heard that ice skating is gay. If you think so too then it is likely that what happened was A. You have never tried or B. You tried and failed.

Favorite Video Games: Spore, Halo, Kingdom Hearts 2, Team Fortress 2, and most importatnly Having A Social Life

Spore Name: The Mint

Favorite Pet: Grue (for refferences to this wondrous creature, google Uncyclopedia)

Grue's Favorite Pet: A 9001 year old goat. Don't worry, i don't let Grue eat his pets.

Uncyclopedia name: Deranged Lobster

I like The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Here are my favorite qoutes from the series:

"SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE" ~ God's Last Message to His Creation ~ Douglas Adam's A Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy

"Why not go mad?" ~ Arthur Dent on living in a cave for 5 years ~ Douglas Adams' A Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy

"Shit" ~ Arthur Dent on falling to his death ~ Douglas Adams' A Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy

"Shit" ~ Arthur Dent on being hit by a plane ~ Douglas Adams' A Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy

"And i can take out this floor too!" ~ A Battle Tank on being on the bridge of a thousand foot high building ~ Douglas Adams' A Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy

I like Discworld too:

"..." ~ The Luggage on Everything

"Crivens! A flopsy inna bigjob's coat!" ~ The Nac Mac Feegle on the afore-mentioned

Random sayings:

"Whoever invented food was a genius"

"Exit through the gift shop"

"HERE WE ARE AGAIN!"

"A Lephrechaun should never be that high"

"Die"

"Some say the greatest invention was the wheel. But I think it was the second wheel"

"LET THERE BE CAKE"

So... yup, let there be cake.

Signing off : The MadSpacePotatoe

If there was a competition for writing stupid profiles I would be a champion.