There's a one-in six-billion chance that you'll find your soulmate. And that's if they're not dead.

Be normal, and the crowd will accept you. Be deranged, and they will make you their leader.

Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.

I don't fail. I succeed at finding what doesn't work.

Whenever you're pissed off, just remember that it's better than being pissed on.

"Losing builds character." You know who said that? A loser.

We are who we choose to be.

Jesus is coming! Everybody look busy!

Religion: The belief that there has always been an invisible man and the invisible man magically created the world and two people and these two people turned into billions of people and the invisible man threatened all the people with an eternity of torture unless they showered him with praise and built many things in his honor and the invisible man wrote a book through a ghost writer but the people change the book regularly so it means what they want it to mean. All this happened because the man was bored one day... Sounds reasonable...

If quizs are quizzical then what are tests?