PROFILE UPDATE: For anyone looking at my profile - I've decided to put all stories except "Hey Kids, Let's Read Heavy Rain!" on permanent hiatus, meaning that I'll only have one story I'm working on. My apologies to any who were reading my other stories and waiting for updates. Aside from my Heavy Rain story, I'm not sure how much I'll be writing and posting on this site, but if I work on anything new I'll be sure to post it here.

Age: Anywhere from 1 to 100 (my age is now a secret!)

Gender: Male

Hobbies: Video games, reading, writing for some fan fic site I forgot the name of, school (if that's really a hobby), playing piano, and baseball.

Dislikes: Bad grammar (it ain't good, people), vulgarity, people who DON'T REVIEW stories they read, Liberalism, and ingrown toe nails.

Fan of: Star Wars, Halo, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Zelda, Bionicle, Ouran High School Host Club Manga, Mega Man Zero, and Hippos.

Career desires: Author, movie director, video game designer, composer

Favorite Movie: Star Wars Episode IV A New Hope

Other Movies I Like: All the Star Wars ones (including the Prequels), Lord of the Rings (all three), World Trade Center, Spider-Man 1, 2, & 3, Batman Begins, Facing the Giants, The Chronicles of Narnia: LWW, Pirates of the Caribbean 1, 2, & 3, The Matrix, and, though I haven't seen it in forever, Godzilla.

Favortie Quotes

"Don't insult the teddy." -well, you'll have to read my stories to find out...

"Write! Write to ruin, and the world's ending!" -my sister

"Excuses are like buttholes: Everybody has one, and they all stink." -don't actually know who said that one...

Buzz: "Use your head."

Dino Guy: "But I don't wanna use my head!"

-Toy Story 2

Neo: "I know kung fu."

Morpheus: "Show me."

-The Matrix (these are two of the corniest lines in existence, by the way)

"How about I give you the finger, and you give me my phone call?"

-The Matrix. Again.

Church: "So, have you gotten anything useful from the prisoner yet?"

Tucker: "No, he hasn't give me much. Except for a long list of crockpot recipes. Could those be useful?"

Church: "Do we have a crockpot?"

Tucker: "No, Caboose made a trade with that annoying guy from Blue Command. He swapped it for a mystery box."

Church: "What was in the mystery box?"

Tucker: "140 jars of mayonnaise."

Church: "Well, that was a good trade."

Tucker: "Yeah, it doubles as a great sunscreen."

Church: "How did you--? Never mind. I made a plan for us to use against the Reds. (long pause) The plan does not involve mayonaise."

Tucker: "Dang it, I knew there was going to be a catch."

-Episode 30-something

Donut: "I was just petting the bunny. And then it went into the can. And half of my hand went with it."

-Episode 40-something (Episode titled "New Toys" I think)

Deadbeat: "Wanna buy some death sticks?"

Obi-Wan: "You don't want to sell me death sticks."

Deadbeat: "I don't wanna sell you death sticks."

Obi-Wan: "You want to go home and rethink your life."

Deadbeat: "I want to go home and rethink my life."

-Star Wars Attack of the Clones

"I have a bad feeling about this..."

-Every Single Episode

Han: "No time to discuss this in a committee!"

Leia: "I am not a committee!"

-Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back

STORIES SECTION:

Due to the fact that my old stories section was really badly detailed and hadn't been updated in a long time, I am now going to use this new stories section to talk about my works. I probably will forget about it and let it rot really fast, but oh well! Here goes nothing. And by the way, this format is mostly, no, completely, no, 106.473 percent based off of the one used by Princess of Ithilien. Have fun!

COMPLETED STORIES:

The Life and Times of Bill and Fred: A parody of the video game Star Wars Battlefront II. Two stormtroopers named Bill and Fred have an adventure while "fighting" at the Jedi Temple. The first story I ever finished. Also got my first sequel.

The Life and Times of Bill and Fred Volume II: The sequel to the above story. Following the adventures of Bill and Fred, this is what I like to call my greatest three-chapter epic. And by epic, I mean not-that-epic. Ends with a cliffhanger. I'm hoping to get around to doing a sequel to this one sometime, but, then again, I say that about all of my stories.

Two Exiles: A Story: My first real shot at romance. Based off the video game Knights of the Old Republic II, it happens after the game ends. Is pretty short, and isn't my best work, but it's not that bad. I think one of the reasons I wrote it was because I was so mad at the game's actual ending. Or, as I like to say, lack of an actual ending.

Jedi Nites: Adventures of the Lite Side: My first big story that I finished. Also became one of my most popular stories. A comedy based very loosely around the events of Star Wars: Episode III. Basically I make fun of everything Star Wars-related I can think of. Also has a very odd ending that was my sister's idea. Like Bill and Fred, the loveable (and hateable) Jedi got their own sequel.

A Test for Harpuia: A story I don't usually remember when I think of my completed works. Was my first non-Star Wars story to be completed. My second major attempt at romance, it is based off the Mega Man Zero video game series. Was pretty well-received. Sort of ties into my Javelin saga.

His Name Was Axl: A very short, emotional story. Also based on the Mega Man Zero/Mega Man X video game series, it's written in a very emotional, detached style, as the narrator is remembering the events. I think this is probably my most well-received story.

Her Name Was Ciel: Sort of a sequel to His Name Was Axl but based off almost solely off the Mega Man Zero story. Also ties into my Javelin saga. Written in the same emotional, detached style. Reveals much more about the speaker.

Tugging On a Rope: My first ever Lord of the Rings story. This is a comedy about Aragorn tugging on a rope. If it sounds dumb, that's because it is dumb. But it is funny.

Breakfast At Merry's: A random story I just wrote without any planning or anything. This usually helps me write better, but it only works for comedies. Try writing a drama with no forseeable end, and, well, you get my Halo stories. Anyway, it's a short, simple story about friendship, courage, and, well, actually, it's not about anything. It's just random. That's what I love in a story.

Afternoon At Merry's: The sequel to Breakfast At Merry's. It doesn't completely tie into the original and doesn't really carry over many elements (for example, in this story, Merry doesn't hate Sam). But I thought it was better than the first one. (Lord of the Donkeys... chuckle...) Anyway, I'm hoping to write another sequel for this series, but hey, you never know.

Jedi Nites 2: The Search for Anakin: The sequel to Jedi Nites 1. This story took a long time to finish (too long, really), but at least it's done now. I'm glad that I was able to bring it all to an end. It revolves around the Jedi searching for, who else, Anakin Skywalker. Along the way, they meet some old friends (and enemies), a chocolate-obsessed person named Clyde, a stormtrooper who's just a bit familiar, and a villain known as The End. If you like Star Wars, but also like people making fun of Star Wars, go check out! Though I recommend reading the original first...

UNFINISHED STORIES THAT WILL NOT BE CONTINUED:

Halo Survival: My first story. Based off the video game Halo. I only have two chapters posted, though I actually wrote several more that aren't that great. The reason this story sunk? It turns out that sergeants don't outrank captains, and, well, I never had the time to find a new ranking that would fit under sergeant. Anyway, it's still up, but mostly for nostalgia. I do not believe I will ever finish it.

Halo: First Person Shooter: My second story. I've pretty much gone on hiatus from it; I had a sixth chapter started, but it's stuck on the computer that I don't use anymore and I haven't taken the time to retrieve it. Anyway, this has always been one of my favorite stories. It's written from the first person perspective about a Christian soldier fighting for his life on the Delta Halo. Using flashbacks and such, it's one of my longer, more involved stories. Unfortunately, I will not be putting this series on permanent hiatus, meaning it most likely won't be finished, so I'm sorry for that.

The Sidewinder Crew: Ah, my first comedy. I forgot about it the first time I did this other published stories section. I don't know why. I also don't know why I wrote this story. Oh, the good old days... The days of Stevie, and the private, and the flag named Natalie... Oh, those were the days. Sadly, this story got worse and worse and got less and less popular till it basically came to a standstill after fourteen chapters. I really like some of the better jokes, but some of them just, well, missed the mark. (Primarily the "testosterone" gag... Ugh...) But it did teach me good lessons: Think of an ending before you start a long story. Also, avoid time-traveling at all costs (or at least plan it out). It's not going to be finished, so, yeah, it's another one of my long, unfinished works.

The Javelin: I've referred to this as the "Javelin saga." Why? Because that's what it is. It's already over fifteen chapters long, and I still haven't finished it. Based off the Mega Man Zero video games, it's basically what happens after the end of the latest game, Mega Man Zero 4. It's a lot darker than my other works as the hero from the video games turns out to be one of the villains. I really like this story. It's officially my most popular story with the most hits (at least a hundred per chapter at my last count.) Unfortunately, like Halo: FPS, I'm putting this on permanent hiatus, meaning it will most likely not be finished. I'm sorry for

The First Tale of the Four Travelers: A comedy based on the video game Final Fantasy I. It revolves around the four heroes of the game. I really like it and am proud of the fact that it's my only story that is in a C2 that I didn't create. I won't be continuing this (surprise, surprise!) so my apologies for that.

The Last Thing I Need on Middle-Earth is a Fangirl: This is a story that I probably should not have published. Basically, I got the idea for a LOTR-obsessed fangirl to be teleported to Middle-Earth and meet up with Aragorn. However, I was never really sure if I wanted to follow the books or the movies, or if I wanted it to be a serious interpretation or more of a comedic parody like my other LOTR stories, so... it only got to chapter 2, I think. I'm sorry I never wrote more of it.

WORKS IN PROGRESS

Hey Kids, Let's Read Heavy Rain!:

So, bored yet? Go read my fics then! And special thanks to Nogard for helping me find this thing.

Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile.