ME IN A NUT SHELL.

FAVES...
FAVE MANGA- Library Wars: Love and War.
FAVE ANIME- Fairy Tail.
FAVE TV SHOW- Doctor Who.
FAVE SONGS- Austin by Blake Shelton,
Wouldn't It Be Nice by the Beach Boys,
Storybook Love by Willie DeVille,
The Tide Is High by the Atomic Kittens and,
Burning Love by Elvis Presley; sung by Jonathan Patrick Moore.
FAVE YOUTUBERS- Danisnotonfire,
AmazingPhil,
SuperCarlinBrothers,
IISuperwomanII
FAVE COLOR- Caeruleum Blue.
FAVE FOOD- Frog Eye Salad.
FAVE GEM- Iolite.
FAVE ANIMAL-Panther
FAVE SEASON- Spring.
FAVE ICE CREAM- Mint Chocolate Chip.
FAVE WORDS- Ab Insomne Custodita Dracone. (Latin for 'Protected by a Sleepless Dragon.')
FAVE VIDEO-GAMES- Kingdom Hearts, Spiro, and Final Fantasy VII.

MY...
MY BIRTHSTONE- Garnet.
MY GENDER: Female.
MY HOROSCOPE- Capricorn.
MY ZODIAC- Dragon.
MY HOGWART HOUSE- Ravenclaw.
MY ILVERMORNY HOUSE- Horned River Snake/Horned Serpent.
MY PATRONIS- Weasel.
MY WAND- Laurel wood with a dragon heartstring core
MY DREAM VIDEO GAME LAND- Kingdom Hearts.
MY HOBBIES- Reading and Writing.
MY ZOMBIE SURVIVAL CHANCES- 70-80%.
MY SOCIAL STANDING- Geek.
MY JAPANESE NAME- Setsuka.
MY ANIME HAIR COLOR- Brown.
MY ANIME EYE COLOR- Gold or Purple.

I WOULD BE...
POKEMON- Raichu.
VIDEO GAME CHARACTER- Spiro.
DISNEY PRINCESS- Jasmine.
MARVEL VILLIAN- Loki.
SAO CHARACTER- Yui.
FAIRY TAIL CHARACTER- Levy.
SKIP BEAT CHARACTER- Lory.
MYTHICAL CREATURE- Elf.
GREEK GODESS- Artemis.
BENDER- Water.

IF I COULD GO ANY WERE...
IN TIME- Babylon.
ON EARTH- Greece/Rome.
IN SPACE- Gallifrey.

MY FRIENDS TALK:

1: Oh! You got a haircut! That’s so cute!

2: Do you think so? I wasn’t sure when she was gave me the mirror. I mean, you don’t think it’s too fluffy looking?

1: Oh God no! No, it’s perfect. I’d love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I’m pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.

2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts – that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.

1: Oh – that’s funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.

2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms – see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.

I TALK

1: Haircut?

Me: Yeah.

TOP TEN ONE LINERS:
1. Escalators don’t break down… they just turn into stairs
2. “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing… except when you’re at a funeral.
3. I intend to live forever… or die trying.
4. We never knew he was a drunk… until he showed up to work sober.
5. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
6. A blind man walks into a bar….And a table, and a chair.
7. At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he’s adopted?
8. Want to hear a pizza joke…. nah, it’s too cheesy. What about a construction joke? Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one. Did you hear the one about the rope? Skip it. Have you heard the one about the guy in the wheelchair? Never mind, it’s too lame.
9. I used to be in a band, we were called ‘lost dog’. You probably saw our posters.
10. I childproofed the house… but they still get in!

LIFE:
Every time I find the meaning of life, they change it.

IT'S TRUE:
If con is the opposite of pro, it must mean
Congress is the opposite of progress?

TEN THINGS I KNOW ABOUT YOU:
1) You are reading this.
2) You are human.
3) You can’t say the letter ”P” without separating your lips.
4) You just attempted to do it.
6) You are laughing at yourself.
7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.
8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.
9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too.
10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it.

TEN THINGS I ACTUALY KNOW ABOUT PEOPLE:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

THAT EXPLAINS IT ALL:
Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

GUESS WHAT KIND I AM...
3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.

I'VE DONE THIS:
There were four teenagers who played hooky one morning. Upon coming to class in the afternoon, they reported that their lateness was because their car got a flat tire. "That’s fine" the teacher said much to the students relief. But there was an oral test this morning which you boys have to make up, so please have a seat and take out a piece of paper. “Now for the first question, which tire was flat!"

MY NEW RULES (JUST KIDDING [I don't really agree]).
• Women have more imagination than men. They need it to tell men how wonderful they are.
• Women have a number of faults. Men have only two – everything they say and everything they do.
• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
• When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. When men are depressed, they invade another country.
• A man is a person who will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman, however, will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.
• Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. Dogs are a man’s best friend. Now you know which sex is smarter.
• It’s not true that men prefer foolish women. Rather they prefer women who can pretend to be foolish whenever necessary, which is the very core of intelligence.
• Men always want to be a woman’s first love. Women have a more subtle instinct: What they like... is to be a man’s last romance.
• To be happy with a man, a woman must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, a man must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.
• Men marry because they are tired; women marry because they are curious. Both are disappointed.
• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
• A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her; a man will always cherish the memory of the woman who he didn’t.
• There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman – before marriage and after marriage.
• Only two things are necessary for a man to do to keep his wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.
• Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
• Any married man should forget his mistakes – it’s no use two people remembering the same thing.
• Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
• Husbands are like cars: all are good the first year.
• A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

SOME OF THE COOLEST E-MAIL HEADINGS I HAVE EVER READ.

1.This message represents the official view of the voices in my head.

2.IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual
addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is
confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive
persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational
religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any
dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not
authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an
irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has
been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this
warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be
ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this
email, although the Yorkshire terrier next door is living on
borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming
fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no
hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so
just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft: However, by pouring
a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you
can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have
received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and egg
whites and place it in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Whisk briefly
and let it stand for 2 hours before icing.

3.Disclaimer:
By sending an email to ANY of my addresses you are agreeing that:

1. I am by definition, "the intended recipient"
2. All information in the email is mine to do with as I see fit and make such financial profit, political mileage, or good joke as it lends itself to. In particular, I may quote it on usenet.
3. I may take the contents as representing the views of your company.
4. This overrides any disclaimer or statement of confidentiality that may be included on your message.

4.Your eyes are weary from staring at the CRT. You feel sleepy. Notice how restful it is to watch the cursor blink. Close your eyes. The opinions stated above are yours. You cannot imagine why you ever felt otherwise.

5.* IMPORTANT INFORMATION/DISCLAIMER *
This document should be read only by those persons to whom it is addressed. If you have received this message it was obviously addressed to you and therefore you can read it, even it we didn't mean to send it to you. However, if the contents of this email make no sense whatsoever then you probably were not the intended recipient, or, you are a mindless cretin; either way, you should immediately delete yourself & destroy your computer! Once you have taken this action please contact us.. no you idiot, you cant use your computer, you just destroyed it, and by the way, you are also deleted, but we digress...

The Originator of this email is not liable for the transmission of the information contained in this communication, unless they are the originator in which case they probably are liable and rightly so considering the content of the aforementioned communication.

In the event that the originator did not send this email to you, then please return it to us and attach a scanned-in picture of your mothers brothers wife wearing nothing but cami-knickers, and we will immediately refund you exactly half of what you paid for the can of Pal Meaty-Bites you bought when you went to Woolies yesterday.

We take no responsibility for non-receipt of this email because we are running Windows NT & everyone knows how glitchy that can be. In the event that you do get this message then please note that we take no responsibility for that either. Nor will we accept any liability, tacit or implied, for any damage you may or may not incur as a result of receiving, or not, as the case may be, from time to time, notwithstanding all liabilities implied or otherwise, ummm, shit, where was I..umm, no matter what happens, IT's NOT, and NEVER WILL BE, OUR FAULT!

The comments & opinions expressed herein are my own and NOT those of my employer, who, if he knew I was sending emails and surfing porno sites,would cut off my gonads and feed them to me for afternoon tea. (That is if I was at work, and if I was a guy.)

SOME OF THE STUPIDIST WARNINGS I EVER SAW. (NO I REALLY SAW THEM. REALLY.)

Danger
If you urinate on these doors there are live electrics on these doors and you are in danger of being electrocuted and you are also on CCTV.

Dear Customer,
Please bolt the door after use. If the door is left open my sheep will eat the toilet roll.
Thank you.

Slurpees are not a foodstuff item. Sorry.

We respectfully ask you not to wash your feet in the sink as wet feet cause accidents.

Do not lick the brushes, if you lick the brushes you must buy them.

Please pull up your pants before entering.
Thank you, management.

Please do not throw anything or any body into the fish pond.

If you have a peanut allergy Please Do not get the peanut sauce.

Danger the dog has a gun and refuses to take his medication.

No signs on fence. (Guess where the sign was.)

Open box before eating pizza.

Doorbell missing. Please shake the bottle of rocks. (The was an actual bottle of rocks.)

Warning, No door installed. Do not walk into wall.

Danger. Access may result in drowning. NO DROWNING.

Coming into this office to pay a DUI fine with alcohol on your breath is not a good idea.

Warning: drink then swallow.

Attention: At 9:30 on Oct, 4th 2009 this tree had 3610 leaves on it's branches. This should not effect your life in any significant way. Thank You.

Evacuation Plan. Run and run as fast as you can.

25 MPH. Suicidal deer.

Caution please be aware that the balcony is not on ground level.

Drive carefully. we have two cemeteries. no hospitals.

Be aware of invisibility.

Touching wires causes instant death. $200 fine.

We will no longer accept money out of undergarments.

Do not eat iPod shuffle.

Caution: Do not iron while wearing shirt.

License agreement:
...(Useless Info)...You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of missiles, or nuclear, chemical or biological weapons.

Gate will close after every car. DO NOT challenge gate.

WHY DO BOYS FALL IN LOVE WITH GIRLS??
So sweet, please don't break! :)
1. They will always smell good even if it's just shampoo.
2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder.
3. How cute they look when they sleep.
4. The ease in which they fit into our arms .
5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.
6. How cute they are when they eat.
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while.
8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside.
9. The way they look good no matter what they wear.
10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful girl on this earth.
11. How cute they are when they argue.
12. The way her hand always finds yours.
13. The way they smile.
14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight.
15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later...
16. The way that they kiss after you have had a fight.
17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you".
18. Actually...Just the way they kiss you...
19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry.
20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly.
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt.
22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we don't admit it).
23. The way they say "I miss you".
24. The way you miss them.
25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore...
Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.
A feeling.
Only felt.
This chain started in 2002.
It is a love chain letter.
It seems like something Lory would do.

I am the girl who doesn't go to school games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace,or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't ever been asked out. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment),who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with alot of things, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone- Bearhug946, EdwardCullenEqualsLife, Stephanie Deux,Randomenated-Cullen!, MiniBellaSwan, Jayleen-Cullen-Whitlock-Hale, Emmett or Edward, crazyhypervampiregurl, Rainpool989, Sacred-Spirit-Mirror, Moon Dragon94, DinosaursgoRawr101, aznpride16xx, Claraowl, GajeelXLevyForever

If you think child abuse is horrible copy and paste this in your profile.
If murders make you sick copy and paste this in your profile.
If you think that looks don't matter (well most of the time you think that) copy and paste this in your profile.
If you strongly support women's rights, copy this and paste this into your profile.
If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because your a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that if women should rule the world and it would be a better place then copy this onto your profile.

Girls Don't Realize These Things

I'm sorry that I bought you roses to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry That I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry That my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry That I'm not cute enough to be "your guy"

I'm sorry That I am actually nice; not a jerk

I'm sorry I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry I would rather make love to you then just screw you like some random guy.

I'm sorry That I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date

I'm sorry That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car, but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry If you read this and know somebody like this but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm sorry That I cared

I'm sorry that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

Now on a lighter note... if you want a kick go to the sites below:

1.)

2.) s9.favim.com/orig/131208/funny-animals-funny-conversations-funny-memes-funny-messages-Favim.com-1127717.jpg

3.)

4.)

5.)