A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, freak?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.

Girls are like Apples

The best ones are at the top of the tree.

The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of
falling and getting hurt.

Instead they get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but
easy.

So the apples up top think something is wrong with them when in reality they
are just amazing.

They have to wait for the right boy to come along who is brave enough to climb
to the top of the tree.