Things wrong in the Percy Jackson movie

1. The entrance to Olympus is at the LOBBY

2. Zeus doesn't know of Percy's existence till he was claimed by Poseidon.

3. There is no mention of the pack of the big three (I mean seriously? Poseidon would have a kid and not Zeus?)

4. Yancy Academy is a boarding school

5. Percy is TWELVE! (as said on the FIRST page of the book)

6. Grover is supposed to be this small cripple kid who is picked on.

7. Grover should look slightly older than Percy. (Without the small part)

8. Story starts with a field trip.

9. There is no Nancy Bobofit.

10. Chiron throws the pen to Percy. And PERCY fights Mrs. Dodds. Not the other way around

11. Riptide is a capped pen, not a click-ity one

12. There is no "I'm-sorry-but-there-is-no-Mrs. Dodds" scene.

13. Eavesdropping scene has been ignored.

14. A good scene missed. Where Percy meets the fates with Grover in a bus

leaves Grover

16. NOW you enter Gabe. With his cronies. And Sally Jackson. The very loving and caring mother

17. Montauk Beach with Sally and Grover comes back with Minotaur.

18. Grover is UNCONSIOUS when they enter Camp

19. Percy meets Annabeth. Who is feeding him Ambrosia

20. NECTAR AND AMBROSIA! Food of the gods (also unmentioned/cut off)

21. Minotaur horn in shoe box

22. No Big House?

23. I want to play pinochle since Percy clearly hasn't in the movie

24. Chiron, half WHITE stallion

25. Annabeth, BLONDE daughter of Athena

26. Mr. D! Never forget the Wine Dude!

27. There is a cabin for ONE god not one cabin per camper

28. Poseidon BUILDS the cabin?

is not so easily convinced of him being a Demigod.

30. Hermes Cabin. THE CORE of all the demigods that went into rebellion. Is not mentioned

31. No Hestia? Kid tending the flames in the middle of the camp?

32. Clarisse! There is no Camp version of Nancy Bobofit (Crucial char in SoM)

33. Searcher's license is needed. Not some stupid horns

34. Luke has a scar.

35. First sword fighting lesson.(Just 'cause they're demigods doesn't mean they're experts on weapons and could win without SOME training)(with the exception to Apollo's kids with Archery)(which is a VERY good scene I might add)

36. Capture the flag. Where Athena is teamed with Hermes not Ares.

37. Annabeth wields a KNIFE (you can't all of the sudden change weapons and not have a hard time)

38. Hellhound anyone?

39. Claiming of Perseus (I REALLY WANTED TO SEE THAT!)

40. The NAME Perseus is also not mention. (considering that he is a main char that is bad)

41. THEN he moves from Hermes cabin into Poseidon cabin

42. Demigod Dreams

43. Oracle of Delphi has been IGNORED

44. Chiron ISSUED the quest

45. REASON for the Solstice deadline

46. Luke CAN'T have those modern stuff. (attracts monsters)

47. Persephone doesn't OWN pearls. She is a goddess why the Hades would she need to hide pearls when she could send them away with a wave of her hand

48. There is NO shield

49. Shoes were GIVEN to Luke and soon to Grover NOT Percy

50. Annabeth's cap of invisibility

51. Argus the hundred eyed…person who drives them to wherever their starting from

52. Riptide is FROM Poseidon. Given to Chiron. To give to Percy

53. Percy doesn't get wet

54. They meet the Furies in the bus. ALL three of them

55. Bus EXPLODES not bring them all the way to Aunty Em's it was a coincidence that they got there.

56. Medusa was unnervingly welcoming.

57. Medusa's head was sent to Olympus

58. "Percy, I said hi to the poodle, now you say hi to the poodle."

59. Train and Gateway Arch where they meet the 'wonderful' Echidna and her Chimera.

60. Hydra is supposed to be in the SECOND book

61. Ares in the diner

62. The shield and scarf…where Grover uses the shoes

63. Back talking a god who can turn you into a cockroach and squish you with no pity

64. BACKPACK that has the Bolt

65. DOUBLE STUFFED OREOS!

66. Percy and Annabeth bonding in a truck

67. Fredrick Chase, aka Annabeth's dad, was not mentioned

68. Thalia Grace! Daughter of ZEUS! you know the GIANT PINE?

69. Percy can speak with horses.

70. They land in the Lotus Casino. In the ARCADE!

71. They CAN'T drive. Or at least if they can its only Grover

72. The Nereid is the one that gave the pearls.

73. They go to some demented man's shop of beds

74. Charon is not so…bitter

75. THEY DROWNED IN A BIG BATH TUB!

76. They BRIBED Charon

77. Anyone remember the three headed dog from Harry Potter, who I didn't know till now, loves rubber balls?

78. Grover was not dragged to the hole of Tartarus

79. Persephone is not supposed to be in the Underworld in SUMMER! (Basic Greek Myths)

80. Nor is she supposed to be seductive

81. Hades is not cool. He emo/scary like

82. The Helm of Darkness has also been stolen. (Zeus:Bolt:Poseidon:Trident:Hades:?) Anybody who loves the movie noticed this? Idiots I say

83. Furies are missing

84. Hades is a victim…NOT the criminal

85. Hades wears old fashioned Voldemort like robes

86. "you shall fail to save what matters most in the end"

87. The pearls lead you back to SEA

88. Ares, the god who has turned.

89. Percy beats a god…a TWELVE YEAR OLD BEATS A GOD AND THEY DON'T THINK IT'S GOOD ENOUGH?

90. Furies give the helm back. Hence Hades has to play his debt

91. Percy goes back to Olympus. ALONE

92. There is only Zeus AND Poseidon in the throne room. Not the entire council just sitting there, looking pretty. Other than Athena

93. Bowing? Anyone have ANY respect these days?

94. Poseidon NEVER saw Percy as a child.

95. Gods don't have a rule against meeting their kids. Their just lazy and proud.

96. Percy goes home before returning to Camp. Trying NOT to beat the pulp off Gabe

97. Medusa's head was GIVEN to Gabe and his cronies. Not found in the refrigerator.

98. Sally sells Gabe as a sculpture and gets rich…also not in the movie

99. Percy DOES NOT flirt with Annabeth

100. Luke is traitor for supporting Kronos.

101. "You shall be betrayed by one who calls you a friend"

102. No mention of Campers going year round or going back Home

103. A Demigod is not only a hero because of training. They're heroes because they are special. unlike how they were portrayed

The Percy Jackson pledge: I promise to remember Percy whenever I'm at sea I promise to remember Annabeth whenever a spider comes at me I promise to protect nature for Grover's sake of course I promise to remember Luke when my heart fills with remorse I promise to remember Chiron whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride'' I promise to remember Tyson whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side I promise to remember Thalia whenever a friend is scared of heights I promise to remember Clarisse whenever I see someone that gives me a fright I promise to remember Bianca whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother I promise to remember Nico whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others I promise to remember Zoe whenever I watch the stars I promise to remember Rachel whenever a limo passes my car. yes I promise to remember PJO wherever I may go

PERCY JACKSON QUOTES:

With great power, comes the great need to take a nap. Wake me up later." -Nico Di Angelo, THE LAST OLYMPIAN

"God alert! It's the wine dude!" Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!”-Blackjack (Percy's pegasus) and Mr. D, THE TITANS CURSE

"Let us find the dam snack bar." Zoe said "The dam snack bar?" "Yes. What is funny?" "Nothing." Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fires." ”And I need to use the dam restroom." "I do not understand" "I want to use the dam water fountain." "And. . .I want to buy a dam T-shirt." -Thalia, Zoe, Grover, Percy, THE TITANS CURSE

"Go chase a doughnut." -Percy, THE SEA OF MONSTERS

I'll have a cheeseburger and-AHHH! My friend's on fire! Get me a bucket! -Jason, THE LOST HERO

"See, that's what happens to snow in Texas, lady. It-freaking-melts."--Leo, THE LOST HERO

You know how teachers always tell you the magic word is please? That's not true. The magic word is puke. It will get you out of class faster than anything else. -Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES

That's one good thing about sea serpents: They're big babies when it comes to getting hurt. -Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES

It's great when you're a celebrity to squids. -Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES

"It's all right. We just had a family spat." "Family spat? You turned me into a dandelion!" -Persephone and Nico, THE DEMIGOD FILES

"Your a half-blood too?' "Shh! Just announce it to the world how about?" "Okay. Hey, everybody! These to arent human! They're half Greek god...They don't seem to care." - Rachel and Annabeth, The Battle of the Labyrinth

"Look, I'm really sorry about the band room. I hope they didn't kick you out or anything." "Nah. They asked me alot of questions about you. I played dumb." "Was it hard?"- Percy, Annabeth, Rachel, The Battle of the Labyrinth

"Annabeth! I said you could borrow the chariot, not destroy it." - Will, The Lost Hero

"Vulcan? I dont even LIKE Star Trek." Leo, The Lost Hero

"Aphrodite took my snowboarding jacket. Mugged by my own mom." - Piper, The Lost Hero

Ever had a flying burrito hit you? Well, it's a deadly projectile, right up there with cannonballs and grenades.”

Love conquers all," Aphrodite promised. "Look at Helen and Paris. Did they let anything come between them?" "Didn't they start the Trojan War and get thousands of people killed?" "Pfft. That's not the point. Follow your heart.”

In a way, it's nice to know that there are Greek gods out there, because you have somebody to blame when things go wrong. For instance, when you're walking away from a bus that's just been attacked by monster hags and blown up by lightning, and it's raining on top of everything else, most people might think that's just really bad luck; when you're a half-blood, you understand that some devine force is really trying to mess up your day.

"Apollo?" I guess, because I figured nobody else could make a haiku that bad. He put his finger to his lips. "I'm incognito. Call me Fred." “A god named Fred?”

The real story of the Fleece: there were these two children of Zeus, Cadmus and Europa, okay? They were about to get offered up as human sacrifices, when they prayed to Zeus to save them. So Zeus sent this magical flying ram with golden wool, which picked them up in Greece and carried them all the way to Colchis in Asia Minor. Well, actually it carried Cadmus. Europa fell off and died along the way, but that's not important." "It was probably important to her.”

“It seemed weird calling a teenager 'sir' but I'd learned to be careful with immortals. They tended to get offended easily. Then, they blew stuff up.”

“People are more difficult to work with than machines. And when you break a person, he can't be fixed.”

“Wow," Thalia muttered. "Apollo is hot." "He's the sun god," I said. "That's not what I meant.”

“Jumping out a window five hundred feet above ground is not usually my idea of fun. Especially when I'm wearing bronze wings and flapping my arms like a duck.”

“I nodded, looking at Rachel with respect. "You hit the Lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush.”

“The cafe windows wrapped all the way around the observation floor, which gave us a beautiful panoramic view of the skeleton army that had come to kill us.”

“It's him," I said. "Typhon." I was seriously hoping Chiron would say something good, like 'No, that's our huge friend Leroy! He's going to help us!”

“Um...is that thing tame?" Frank said. The horse whinnied angrily. "I don't think so," Percy guessed. "He just said, 'I will trample you to death, silly Chinese Canadian baby man'.”

“Can we just call them storm spirits?” Leo asked. “Venti makes them sound like evil espresso drinks.”

Things I am not to do at Hogwarts

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it

16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate

27) I will not steal Gryffindor sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways

28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion

35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"

37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions

48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet

49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

50) I will not attack my fellow classmates

51) I will not make an impossible riddle for people to give an answer to enter the Ravenclaw area

The star of the football team has a blind dad who always comes to his games, even though he can't see him play. One day, the dad gets sick and dies before the night of his son's big game. The team is expecting him to slack off, mourning the death of his father. But he played the best game he EVER had, making the winning touchdown & many amazing plays. The couch is amazed, so he asked, "How did you play so well even after your father has passed? The boy stares right at him, and says "This is the first time he has ever seen me play."

I've been suspended from school for another three days. When my biology teacher asked me what my favourite element was, karate chopping her and saying "Element of Suprise" was wrong.

Against Racism

This happened on TAM airlines.

A 50-something year old white woman arrived at her seat and saw that the passenger next to her was a black man.

Visibly furious, she called the air hostess.

"What's the problem, ma?" the hostess asked her

"Can't you see?" the lady said - "I was given a seat next to a black man. I can't seat here next to him. You have to change my seat"

- "Please, calm down, ma" - said the hostess "Unfortunately, all the seats are occupied, but I'm still going to check if we have any."

The hostess left and returned some minutes later.

"Madam, as I told you, there isn't any empty seat in this class- economy class. But I spoke to the captain and he confirmed that there isn't any empty seats in the economy class. We only have seats in the first class."

And before the woman said anything, the hostess continued

"Look, it is unusual for our company to allow a passenger from the economy class change to the first class. However, given the circumstances, the commandant thinks that it would be a scandal to make a passenger travel sat next to an unpleasant person."

And turning to the black man, the hostess said:

"Which means, Sir, if you would be so nice to pack your handbag, we have reserved you a seat in the first class..."

And all the passengers nearby, who were shocked to see the scene started applauding, some standing on their feet."

SHARE IF YOU ARE AGAINST RACISM!

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

PLEASE READ. It says I but it's not me.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't

forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for

the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that

mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister

is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 3 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Remember it and try to stop drunk driving

3) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

Arachibutyrophobia: Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.

Alektorophobia: Fear of chickens. (Um...Chickens?)

Anatidaephobia: the fear that somehow, somewhere, a duck is watching you. (OH MY GOSH THAT DUCK IS WATCHING ME!!!)

Bibliophobia: Fear of books. (How can someone be afraid of BOOKS!?!?!?!?!)

Cathisophobia: Fear of sitting. (You must be tired!)

Dextrophobia: Fear of objects at the right side of the body (Get...it...AWAY FROM ME!!!!)

Dipsophobia: Fear of drinking. (Dehydration, here I come.)

Euphobia: Fear of hearing good news. (Her:Yes, finally! You: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!)

Geliophobia: Fear of laughter. (HAHAAHAHHAH *sniffle*)

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: Fear of long words. (Ironic)

Mnemophobia: Fear of memories (Hey, remember- Whoops!)

Pantophobia: Fear of everything. (AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (a little too late, huh?)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Really? Are you sure?)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (because they don't want to give us the fake bacon, they want to give us the real fake bacon :P)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (I think something got lost in the translation)

On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use on Mars?)

On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (No shit Sherlock)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Was that a popular problem...?)

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children (How are they supposed to get the medicine?)

Candle: Warning: A burning candle is fire (WOW! I'm amazed and enlightened!)

Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado (Oh, yes. Cloth. Great protection from Mother Nature.)

Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts (Um... How? I always thought frisbees were just one little disc...)

Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted. (Wouldn't they be already dead?)

Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping (Yummy! Hair dye!)

Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required (Well darn, I was planning on just enchanting the picture!)

Female Comebacks

Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter.

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing. Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing

So going to use these someday. Repost if you will too.

Dear bullies,

See that boy doing his homework in homeroom? Last night he Talked His friend out of suicide.

See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself.

See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country.

See that young boy you must made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor.

Re-Post this if u r against bullying. I bet 95% of u won't.

So, so true:

Your alarm goes off, you hit the snooze and sleep for another 10 minutes. He stays up for days on end. You take a warm shower to help you wake up. He goes days or weeks without running water. You complain of a "headache", and call in sick. He gets shot at as others are hit, and keeps moving forward. You put on your anti war/don't support the troops shirt, and go meet up with your friends. He still fights for your right to wear that shirt. You make sure you're cell phone is in your pocket. He clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to his dog tags. You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you. He knows he may not see some of his buddies again. You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls. He walks the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists. You complain about how hot it is. He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow. You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong. He doesn't get to eat today. Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes. He wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure his weapons are clean. You go to the mall and get your hair redone. He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today. You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over. He's told he will be held over an extra 2 months. You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight. He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home. You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday. He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume. You roll your eyes as a baby cries. He gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and wonders if they'll ever meet. You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything. He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and remembers why he is fighting. You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men like him. He hears the gunfire, bombs, and screams of the wounded. You see only what the media wants you to see. He sees the broken bodies lying around him. You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't. He does exactly what he is told. You stay at home and watch TV. He takes whatever time he is given to call, write home, sleep, and eat. You crawl into your soft bed, with down pillows, and get comfortable. He crawls under a tank for shade and a 5 minute nap, only to be woken by gunfire. You sit there and judge him, saying the world is probably a worse place because of men like him. If only there were more men like him! If you support your troops, send this on. If it gets to a veteran who hasn't received it yet, it will bring back memories. Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American G.I. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

Yes, I hit like a girl. Hitting like a man doesn't do anything.

Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path, and leave a trail." - Emerson

Favourite Harry Potter Quotes from the Movie Deathley Hallows

Luna Lovegood: Harry, wait, I need to talk to you. Harry Potter: I'm a bit preoccupied at the moment, Luna. Luna Lovegood: You won't find it where you're going, you're wasting your time. Harry Potter: We'll talk later, ok? Luna Lovegood: Harry! Harry Potter: Later! Luna Lovegood: Harry Potter! You listen to me right now! Don't you remember what Cho said about Rowena Ravenclaw's diadem? There's not a person alive whose seen it. It's obvious isn't it? You have to talk to someone whose dead.

Ginny Weasley: [Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Neville have entered the Room of Requirement] Harry! Harry Potter: Hi there. [pauses waiting for a response from Ginny, then addresses Hermione] Ron Weasley: Six months she hadn't see me, it's like I'm a Frankie First Year. I'm only her brother... Seamus Finnigan: She's got lots of them, but there's only one Harry. Ron Weasley: Shut up Seamus.

Neville Longbottom: [discussing a battle strategy] Are you really giving us permission to do this? Minerva McGonagall: Yes, Longbottom. Neville Longbottom: Blow it up? Boom? Minerva McGonagall: BOOM!

Harry Potter: Ginny! Neville! Are you all right? Neville Longbottom: Never better! I feel like I could spit fire! You haven't seen Luna have you? Harry Potter: Luna? Neville Longbottom: I'm mad for her. I think it's about time I told her, since we'll probably both be dead by dawn!

Neville Longbottom: It doesn't matter that Harry's gone. People die every day. Friends, family. Yeah, we still lost Harry tonight. He's still with us, in here [gestures to chest] Neville Longbottom: . Fred, Remus, Tonks... they didn't die in vain. But YOU will. 'Cause you're wrong! Harry's heart did beat for us! For all of us! It's not over!

Neville Longbottom: Right then, so what's the plan Harry? Harry Potter: Okay, there's something we need to find, something hidden here in the castle, and it may help us defeat You-Know-Who. Neville Longbottom: Right, what is it? Harry Potter: We don't know. Dean Thomas: Where is it? Harry Potter: We don't know that either. I realise that's not much to go on. Seamus Finnigan: That's nothing to go on.

Severus Snape: Now, then. If anyone here has any knowledge of Mr. Potter's movements this evening, I invite to step forward. Now. [suddenly Harry walks through the children in assembly] Harry Potter: It seems despite your exhaustive defensive strategies, you still have a bit of security problem, headmaster. [the doors of the assembly hall open and the remaining member of the Order walk in] Harry Potter: I'm afraid it's quite extensive. How dare you stand where he stood? Tell them how it happened that night! Tell them how you looked him in the eye, a man who trusted you, and killed him! Tell them!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask, "How could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub.

My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect.

We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate.

Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love." As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me.

These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf. Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said, "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar, as he screamed “No, Daddy Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life.

You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked, "How could you?" They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me.

When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured, "How could you?" Perhaps because she understood my dog speak, she said, "I'm so sorry."

She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her.

It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

Put this on your profile if it touched your heart. :'(

You see a kid abusing a puppy with a baseball bat. 97% would yell "STOP!" 2% would cheer, 1% would go get the baseball bat, hit the kid, and go take the puppy to the vet. Post this on your page if you're one of the 1%.

Harry Potter Pledge

I promise to remember Tonks

Each time time I knock something down.

And I promise to remember Charlie Weasley

Whenever I'm out of town.

I promise not to obey traffic laws

For Sirius's sake of course.

And I promise to remember Lupin

When my heart fills with remorse.

I promise to remember Arthur

Whenever I am in a hospital room.

And I promise to remember the Weasley Twins

Every time fireworks boom.

I promise to remember Lily

When I see someone that holds pure beauty and love.

And I promise to remember Dobby

Whenever a pair of socks spots me.

I promise to remember Teddy

When I see someone with turquoise hair.

And I promise to remember Molly

When someone tells me they care.

I promise to remember Ginny

Whenever bogey hexes are unfurled.

And I promise to remember the Death Eaters

When someone speaks of dominating the world.

Yes I promise to love Harry Potter

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my dedication

Because I know what the wizards know.

Harry Potter isn't an obsession

It's a way of life, you know...

You are a...

CHILD OF ZEUS

You like being in charge. You often wish you could just zap someone with a thunderbolt. You were voted Class President. You do what’s best for everyone. You think you have what it takes to run for President. You think every problem has a solution. You love showing off. You like plane rides You are hydrophobiac

2/10

CHILD OF POSEIDON

You feel at home in the water. Your favorite vacation place is at the beach. You enjoy snorkelling, scuba diving, surfing, etc. You want to do something about the marine species being abused today. You visit the local pool on a regular basis. You swim professionally. You hate seafood. You never get seasick. You’d rather ride a boat than a plane. You are acrophobiac

10/10

CHILD OF HADES

You’re not that much of a people person. You like staying in the dark and writing. You experience bad moods on a regular basis. You like listening to loud, angry music. You spend most of your time alone.You think parties are sometimes loud and annoying.You like to keep to yourself. All your closets are padlocked (or you wish they could be) You write in diary/journal/blog. You feel most active at night.

3/10

CHILD OF DEMETER

You own a garden. You like the great outdoors. You have a green thumb. You’re an environmentalist. You have a special connection with animals. You’re a vegetarian. You like going hiking, camping, and looking at the natural wonders of the world. You always check a product if it’s environmentally-friendly. You love going to flower shops. You think global warming is a threat that must be dealt with.

4/10

CHILD OF ARES

You often start fights. You’re a very aggressive type of person. You like watching wrestling. You’re competitive. You like reading about war. You don’t take crap from anybody. You have anger management. You never back away from a fight. Everyone does what you say. You don’t always think before you do something.

1/10

CHILD OF ATHENA

You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge.You’re probably the only person who visit the library on a regularbasis.Half of your Christmas presents last year were books. You like reading about war, mostly about the reasons and controversies behind it. You’re the valedictorian in your class. You’ve never gotten a grade below 80 in your report card. You get political jokes without asking people to explain them. You think it would be better if you were the President. You have a huge shelf of books at home.You think vinyl pocket protectors are useful.

6/10

CHILD OF APOLLO

You’re very creative and artistic. You like listening to all kinds of music in general. You always feel sunny and optimistic. You are talented at drawing. You like writing poetry. You can play at least 3 musical instruments. You like going to art museums. You almost always win 1st Place in Art Contests. You have straight A's in Art on your report card.Your school notebook has more doodles than notes.

6/10

HUNTER OF ARTEMIS

You dislike boys in general. A deer is one of your favorite animalsYou can shoot targets You like silver.You like the moon better than the sunZoe Nightshade is awesomeYou love wild animalsYou spend most of your time outdoors.You love to move around the place Hunting is not cruel, if it's to hunt down monsters

10/10

CHILD OF HEPHAESTUS

You have a way with tools. You build awesome things during your free time. You’re the best at Woodshop in your class. Metalworking is your forte. You have your own toolbox. You often search the Internet to look for pictures of robots. You’re a techie. You often have carpentry projects. You dream of being a carpenter. You aren’t afraid of fire.

3/10

CHILD OF APHRODITE

Every guy/girl swoons for you. You like putting on makeup. You naturally smell good. You never experience a bad hair day. Your favorrite activity is clothes-shopping. You’re always at the front of every trend. You’re the popular girl/guy at your school. You’re often invited to parties. Your motto is ‘It’s never a party without me.” You look at yourself in the mirror on a regular basis.

0/10

CHILD OF HERMES

You like pickpocketing your friends. You’re a prankster. You’re a speed demon. You consider yourself restless. You’re the best speaker in the class. You like thinking on your feet and using your wits. You’re inventive and resourceful. You often start arguments. You’ve never lost a debate. You like making witty and sarcastic statements.

3/10

CHILD OF DIONYSUS

You’re the life of the party. You like wine. You’ve probably tasted every alcoholic drink out there. You can finish a martini in less than a minute.. You have a happy, cheerful disposition. You’re a foodie. You like going to social events and mingling with people. You like trying out new food. You feel that you’re abundant in life. You think that too much of anything is bad.

1/10

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, when I grew up I was BLACK, when I'm sick I'm BLACK, when I go into the sun I'm BLACK, when I'm cold I'm BLACK, when I die I'll be Black. But you sir, when you're born you'rePINK, when you grow up you're WHITE, when you're sick, you're GREEN, when you go in the sun you turn RED, when you're cold you turn BLUE and when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?

To My Loving Wife:

A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. Because both had jobs, they had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day. Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. There he decided to open his laptop and send his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left off one letter in her address, and sent the e-mail without realizing his error.

In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been 'called home to glory' following a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. Upon reading the first message, she fainted and fell to the floor. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife

From: Your Departed Husband

Subject: I've Arrived!

I've just arrived and have checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

(P.S. Sure is hot down here!)

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear it up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!! IF THIS MADE YOU LAUGH COPY AND PASTE IT ON YOUR PROFILE. THIS WAS SO FUNNY!!!!

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and geting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy.So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality they are amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top