Nyx's Pinky Girl
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Joined 06-14-10, id: 2403224, Profile Updated: 06-15-12

Name: Call me Ana.

Nickname's: Ann, Annie, Dana, Pinky(Sunny, you're awesome), Nixie, Cracker (he he ;D), Izzy, Sokie (please, no questions), Rose, Blondie and God knows what else...

Location: Around the corner in a round world.

Appearances’: Short, tan skin, brownish-blondish-reddish hair, bluish-greenish-grayish eyes – tell me if I forgot something… :D

Hobby: Dancing, singing, drawing, writing, reading, playing with my dog, cats and my computer, teasing my friends, being sarcastic, being nice and ending sentences with :)

About me: I like soccer, I hang out with guys, I hang out with girls, I love math, I hate liars – yet again I lie myself – I love my parents, I love pink, I like black, I like smiling and laughing and when I’m not doing that then it feels awkward, I don’t hate any subject in school – just the teachers that teach the class – I don’t like being told what to do, I stand my ground, I forgive easily – mistake – but I never forget – then again, a plus side – I can hide my emotions pretty good, but I can also let you see them as if it’s written on my forehead, I have great friends and a lot of b*tches that hate me and everything about me, I’m not into fashion and I can dress only casual or formal, I can understand problems really well – so go ahead and talk your little heart out I'll always listen and try to make you feel better– I don’t like grammar mistakes – doesn’t it just feel like a waste of time when a friend sends you a message the size of a football field and you spend 20 minutes trying to guess what the first three lines say – I am completely and utterly random, I like vivid colors, I like dark colors, I laugh at a horror movie and I don’t scream ‘bloody murder’ when a pop-tart pops out, I stare at a spider and speed walk away from it – never kill a spider, it brings bad luck ;D – I love cartoon’s, I love making jokes, although some say I have a twisted sense of humor, I won’t barf at a gory movie – I just need to find something really funny about it and I’m not nauseated anymore – I will hurt you if you hurt me, I would never turn my back on real friends – note the real part - I’m always optimistic and happy, I’m sometimes very depressed or sad, I’m just who I want to be with all the down sides and up sides of life and I can go on forever but right now I don’t think you want to know everything I have to say ;D I am afterall, just an ordinary girl! :D

Advice’s to wannabe writers (or whatever): Write something you would want to read, let the story come to you and if it still bugs your head after 5 months you have to start writing it down, don’t plan to be spontaneous, don’t start a story if you’re not going to finish it, check your grammar and spelling, read for a while and write for practice so you can develop your own style and, most of all, have fun doing it… :)

Projects: I’m currently working on three stories and I hope to publish them one day, I know a certain someone who will kill me if I don’t… XD

Favorite books:

House of Night

Maximum Ride

Daniel X

Vampire Academy

The Guardians of Time

The Mortal Instruments

The Infernal Devices

The Darkest Powers

Music: Every except country or heavy-metal...


I, Nyx's Pinky Girl, Promise To Review Every Story I Read.

I Am Joining The Review Revolution.

Cause We All Know It Sucks When You Have 10,000 Hits and Only Fifty Reviews.


Some awesome people I met here:

WhyFightAnEclipseWhenTheresJaz - she has over 50 story's and each and every one of them is worth reading. I absolutely love your work, Cookie! It just radiates awesomeness! ;) You are like my best friend too, I wouldn't know what to do without you there giving me your advices! I wouldn't be able to pull trough who knows which lope-hole out there! I'm glad our e-mails are long, I love talking to you! I hope we never stop! I must thank you for going trough the epic fail of various mistakes in betaing my story. :3 It wouldn't be good without you! I hope to meet you one day in person, and show everyone how much you are like me, internet twin Cookie! Loves you tons, who else than Cracker! :D

BonnieLforU - Ah, my dear fellow Queen! We rule over a powerful Empire! And, besides being a brutal Queen ;P, she had truly amazing work, and I'm still kinda mad at you for deleting it, dear! But she's got an idea in her sleave, and I can't wait for her new work! :3

vampirepuppiez00 - seriously, when are you going to update? ;) She has one story - but it is an extremely unique one and I absolutely encourage you to read it. :) She is an awesome writer, and a fantastic friend! What did I do to deserve you, Sunny? Lots o' Love from your muse! I hope to talk to you soon, I haven't heard from you in like, forever! Miss you! :P

Nyx's Chosen One - what can I say? Crazy girl with tons of potential. XD She's just cool like that.

zoeybird101 - Her work is truly amazing. :D She's a fantastic writter and a fantastic friend. :D

Mrstrentreznor - she has some mad skills. ;P Love it! XD


And now, you know, the crazy part of the profile, enjoy, cry, laugh, freak out... whatever:

I am the girl who people see and say "Don't mess with her, she will kick your ass" and they are right, hurt me and I hurt you. But I also have feelings.

Just because I am not into drugs, doesn't mean I am not cool.

Just because my parents don't mind me drinking, it does not make them irresponsible.

Just because I would rather drink at home then get drunk at a party and risk getting hurt, does not mean I am not cool.

Just because I don't let you grope me constantly does not make me a prude, I am just not a whore.

Just because I am tough doesn't mean I wouldn't mind getting asked out.

Just because I am strong, does not mean I am not pretty.

Different does not always mean wrong.

Different is usually what the good kids are described as because they do not act bad like the "Normal" ones do.

Cruel, Beautiful, Nice, smart, caring, tough, strong and just about every other adjective is merely a matter of perspective.

Pain makes you stronger.

A broken heart never heals, you move on but the pain is always there.

You are you, so live the way you want to, not the way be people think you should and not the way that will make you popular.

I am me. You can take everything I have but I will always have one thing you don't and that is me.

I am me, if you don't like it I don't care.

Let your true brightness shine and let no one dim it.

A lot of people say live for the moment , but I don't agree. Live for what you believe in and hold onto every moment.

Dying for what you believe in is easy, the real courage is in living for what you believe in.

Loving and Hating are two very different things and yet they both cause so much pain.

I will not give up.

I will not stand down.

I bow to no one.

Sick of crying

Tired of trying

Yeah I'm smiling

But inside I'm dying!

Labels are for cans, and if you haven't noticed... I'm not a freaking CAN! xD

92 percent of American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their heads off at the others!

If you've ever sung a song you hated so much, copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and throw those lemons back in the face of the person who gave them to you until you get the oranges you originally asked for. If you agree copy and paste this into your profile.

If FanFiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy this into your profile.

Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

95 percent of kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're one of the 5 percent that aren't, copy this to your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Gee, I wonder what brain-creep makes this things up...)

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hear voices in your head, they talk to you, and you understand, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

98 of the Internet population has a Facebook. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you ever just felt like running somewhere, copy this to your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you are in la la land most of the time copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should spontaneously combust, burn to death in a fire, be fed to hungry lions, or die any other form of painful death, copy this into your profile.

If you are insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

One of your best friends IS insane, copy this into your profile.

You don't care if your not popular, you are just who you are. Copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gone around poking random people copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile.

If you have so many of these you keep finding doubles copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realize these are so similar you should of deleted half of them copy and paste this into your profile.

If you actually read all this copy and paste.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie & Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing their butts off at the others.

If you've laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.

If there are times when you want to annoy somebody just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you said it, copy this to your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever choked on your own spit, copy this into your profile!

If you frequently have conversations with yourself and/or fictional characters from your favorite books, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever spelled your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you know someone who needs to get run over, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've never had "The Talk", but instead learned everything you needed to know from television or fanfic, copy this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile.

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think flamers should get a life, put this in your profile.

If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours and hours reading stories that people who have no lives whatsoever and have enough obsession with something to write a story about it have written, and you are one of the aforementioned people, copy and paste this into your profile.

5.5 million people are on the Internet right now. Copy this onto your profile if you are one of them.

If you are a girl, paste this on your profile.

If you're on the computer, paste this on your profile.

If you ever walked into the wrong classroom, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table for no reason copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away then remembered, copy this into your profile.

If your one of those people who can literally stay on the computer for hours on in if only you weren't forced to get off, then copy and paste this on your profile.

If you love Fanfiction.net, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like the rain copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate it when people review your story just to ask you to review theirs, copy this into your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingy's, copy and paste this into your profile.

Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.


Don't you just loooove sarcasam?

THE PERV CODE
Curiosity gets me thinking
Thinking gives me mental images
Mental images gives me inspiration
Inspiration gives me the guts to express it
The guts to express it makes me a perv

The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy.

If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak.

If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.

This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Smile, and the world will smile back at you. Laugh, and they'll all think you're on drugs.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?

Don't mess with me I've got a stick! ... And no idea in hell how to use it...

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. (Oh yeah, makes perfect sense, you wacko psycho-therapist's)

Tell the truth and run.

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary probem...

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Someone once told me that happiness was just around the corner. I told them that world is round.

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

I'm not random, i just have many thou- OH A SQUIRREL!

Elmo knows where you live!

Forever isn't as long as it use to be.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Be nice to losers. one day they might be cool!

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I'm smiling. That alone should scare you.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk

I've got A.D.D and magic markers, oh the thrills I will have!

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

The best place to hide is in plain sight.

Guys aren't worth your tears.

I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away.

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

If I asked for your opinion, I'd take the tape off your mouth.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

So what if we act like immature idiots? We're having fun.

I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You shall be my squishy!

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

There's a ME in AWESOME but there's also a WE.

Don't yawn in the shower. You might drown.

Live dangerous…Run with scissors.

I’m so clever that sometimes, I don’t even know what I’m saying.

Love is like snot. You keep picking at it until you get to it, then you wonder what to do with it.

Always listen to experts- they'll tell you confidently what can't be done and why. Then go ahead and do it.

After all is said and done a heck of a lot more is said than done.

At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote.

Happiness is your dentist telling you “it won't hurt a bit,” and then he catches his hand in the drill.

If you are good you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good you will get out of it.

A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.

Sometimes you're the windshield, but sometimes you gotta be the bug.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

Stupidity kills, unfortunately not fast enough.

Diamonds are a girls best friend...because they're sharper then knives.

I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight.

Have you seen my mind? I seem to have lost it.

If all else fails, try reading the instructions.

I'm not clumsy... The floor just hates me.

Smart is sexy.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

No ones perfect… well there was this one guy but we killed him.

My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.

I am a peaceful person that is filled with violent rage.

I’ve stopped listening, why haven’t you stopped talking?

There are people in Africa that can't afford sarcasm, and yet, you abuse it.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I see regular people!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps fun to look at, but not very bright.

I'm the type of girl who will laugh at a scary movie, but screams bloody murder when toast pops out the toaster.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

I'm not insane... I just do what the voices tell me to.

I say we shoot cupid.

I didn't loose my mind, I sold it on eBay.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!

Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and plot your revenge.

I have opinions of my own,strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them.

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

I couldn't repair your brakes so I made your horn louder.

Work,yeah, I tried it once,worst 7 minutes of my life.

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

Sometimes when I'm alone in a room I like to say, “I know you’re listening” because if I'm wrong then no one heard but if im right then I just freaked the heck out of some secret organization.

To put it nicely, I hope you choke.

Roses are Red

Violets are blue

When god gave brains,

Where the hell were you!?

EVER WONDER where we are heading...

Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara
with their mouth closed?

Why you don't ever see the headline:
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?

Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor,
while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why the man who invests all your money is called a
"Broker"?

Why there isn't mouse flavored cat food?

Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?

Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why they don't make the whole plane out of the
material used for the indestructible
black box?

Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

Why they are called apartments when
they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro,
is "Congress" the opposite of "progress"?

Why they call the airport "the terminal"
if flying is so safe?

There's a cronical health problem here - you lack sarcasam.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

Rules are like paperclips. Meant to hold things together, fun to bend, and easy to twist out of shape.

Needing a man is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

When life gives you lemons, squirt the lemons in Life's face

Boy, I didn't fall for you, you tripped me!

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his moccasins. That way you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid...

When it rains on my parade, I bust out the slip n' slide.

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.

People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" That's a really good question...i wonder...

TGWF: Thank God We're Female

Liquid plummer-"Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages."

Arm and hammer scoopable cat litter-"safe to use around pets"

Endust duster-"This product is not defined flammable by the consumer products safety commission regulations. However this product can be ignited under certain circumstances"

Baby oil-"Keep out reach of children."

Hair coloring-"Do not use as an ice cream topping."

Sleeping pills-"Warning: may cause drowsiness" One would hope.

Komatsu Floodlight-"This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark"

Earplugs-"These earplugs are nontoxic, but they may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe." Are you sure? Lets experiment.

RCA television remote control-"Not dishwasher safe."

Road sign-"Caution: water on road during rain."

Hair dryer-"Do not use while sleeping" But that's the only time I have to work on my hair!

On a bar of Dial soap- "Directions: use like regaular soap" And that would be how?

Some Swann frozen dinners-"Serving suggestion: Defrost" But it's just a suggestion.

Tesco'sdessert (printed on bottom of the box)-"Do not turn upside down" Too late! you lose!

Marks and Spencer Bread pudding: "Warning: product may be hot after heating." Wow, I would have never guessed!

Rowentairon: "Do not iron clothes on body." But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?

Boots children's cough medicine: "Do not drive or operate machinery." We could do alot to reduce construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year old off those fork lifts.

Korean kicthen knife: "Keep out of children." Hmm...I think something got lost in translation.

Christmas lights; "For indoor and outdoor use only." As opposed to outer space.

Food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." Now I'm curious.

Sainsbury's peanuts:"Warning: may contain nuts." But no peas?

American Airlines package of peanuts; "Instructions: open packet. Eat nuts." Someone got paid big bucks to write this one...

Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chainsaw with hands." Raise your hand if you've tried this.

Child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garmet does not enable you to fly." Oh go ahead. That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.

"Why dont you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.."

"I'm not physcotic, I'm a freaking retard. DUH"

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

"Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real."

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not."

Why are the Force and duct tape the same? -Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

I find "good morning" contradictory

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at one thing: Staying Strong.

Tears wash the windows of our souls so we can see ourselves more clearly.

My heart? Yeah. Not a playground.

The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30, and I'm still 29, who'll be laughing then?

I think I could be madly in like with you

Let's flip a coin: heads, we'll be together; tails, we'll flip again

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you.

I hear voices and they dont like you.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

Im not insane... I just do what the voices tell me to

To put it nicely, I hope you choke

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn

Join the Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

All I want is for one guy, to prove they're not all the same.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

No ones perfect… well there was this one Guy but we killed him

If life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and let the world wonder how you did it.

I am a peaceful person that is filled with violent rage

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Sing "I'm Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmasters office.

I’ve stopped listening, why haven’t you stopped talking?

How can you break my fucking heart, and tell me you still love me?

Something everyone should remember: Emmett is the strongest. Edward is the fastest.But Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make you feel jealous.

I keep trying to kidnap Jasper but every time I try Alice is at his window with a bat waiting for me. How does she kn- oooh...riiiiight

Therapist = The/rapist... Scary thought...

Opps did my saracas mhurt you? Deal with it!

HA HA HA! HAHAHAHA...wait...what?

Never knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run! Death hates that.

My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and then it's gone.

Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let people wonder how you did it.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are just missing.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?

Sarcasm is one more service I offer.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

When all else fails, try bashing your head against the wall some more.

Some people are like slinkies, good for nothing, but they make you smile when you push them down a flight or stairs.

I did not hit you, I just high-fived your face.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

Its always in the last place you look...of course it is, why the heck would you keep looking after I found it?

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

I ran with scissors, and lived!

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

Sometimes you just have to jump off the bridge and hope you learn how to fly on the way down.

Help I've fallen and I can’t...hey nice carpet!

I’ve stopped listening, why haven’t you stopped talking?

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Yeah, you have the right to your own opinion, but I have the right to think you're stupid.

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

If I asked for your opinion, I'd take the tape off your mouth.

Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in your face?!

Music is my boyfriend.

If you're ticked at someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, your a mile away from them, and you have their shoes! Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!

Just when I think you said the most stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking.

Goldfish have the memory span of 3 seconds, sometimes I have to wonder if I'm a goldfish. (That's funny but I'm actually smart! Even though it happens.)

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?"

I've got things to break, people to laugh at, objects to drool over and who knows what else.

A stranger will stab you in the back, a friend will stab you in the front, a boyfriend will stab you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

My imaginary friend doesn't like you either.

Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler.

FEMALE COMEBACKS!!
pick up line comebacks, add to it

Man:My dad owns the Café. I could get us really good seats.
Woman:My dad runs that hospital, and that's where you'll be if you keep hitting on me.

Man:I have magic fingers. And they love to give massages.
Woman:I have a high kick. And they love to land on...

Man:Are you an angel from heaven?
Woman:No, I'm a vampire from hell.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Woman: It's gonna hurt when I hit you upside the head.

Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.

B.I.T.C.H

Beautiful

Intelligent

Talented

Charming

Hilarious

Guess you gave me a huge compliment!

"PMS: Every woman's legal right to be a bitch"

"Stress: The condition brought on by overriding the body's desire to kick someones ass"

"MENstrual pain, MENstrual cramps, MENtal anxiety, MENopause... godamnit... all of our problems start with MEN!"

" 'I love you' is eight letters. And so is 'bullshit' "

"When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to find out they are not it."

I am not afraid of the dark,

I am afraid of what is lurking in it.

I am not afraid of heights,

I am afraid of falling.

I am not afraid of falling in love,

I am afraid of not being loved back.

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

A day without sunshine is like, night.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Everyone has a photographic memory; Some just don't have film.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Welcome to the world where being you is never enough.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

First a Fire, Then a Flame; I'm a Chick No Man Can Tame

Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL,

Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART,

Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG,

Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY,

Calling me POOR won't make you RICH,

Calling me FAT won’t make you PERFECT,

Calling me UNCOOL won’t make you COOL.

So why bother?

Life, is like God's way of kicking your sorry ass out of heaven and yelling, "AND DON'T COME BACK!!"

Death, is like God's way of dragging you back up to heaven by your collar, mumbling, "Okay, I think you've done enough damage..."

Girl: Why do you like me?
Boy: Too many reasons
Girl: Give me a number
Boy: How many stars are in the night sky?
Girl: That's impossible
Boy: So you see the problem

8 billion people in the world and I only want HIM.

Love is like heaven but it can hurt LIKE HELL.

He is 90 of the reason i get up in the morning. the other 10 is to pee.

When you love a person, they're in your every thought.

Love is when you don’t want to go to sleep – because reality is far much better. (By yours truly, moi!)

One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me

Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

If life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and let the world wonder how you did it.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.

When life gives you lemons, squirt them in the eyes of your enemies.

Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run- he hates that!

My knight in shining turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

It's better to keep quiet and let someone think you're stupid, than to open your mouth and prove it.

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious.

if you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!

OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird!

let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook.

yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.

warning: im sarcastic and i hurt peoples feeling sometimes, boo hoo. get over it.!

I don't obsess, I think intensely!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"Nothing worse than getting your pigtails shot off..."

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"He who laughs last didn't get it."

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

-Education is important; school however, is another matter.

I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.

-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!

-Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

-Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

The top three Word's whores are: Politics, Church and Philosophers. Doctors follow next. (By your's truly... and her dad... at lunch time...)

-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

-People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.

-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

-I do not deny everything.

-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.

Love me or hate me. Personally I could care less

-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...

-Hello and welcome to the Mental HealthHot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you. (Wow... encouraging...)

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

The road to success is always under construction.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Sometimes I wonder "why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Don't take life to serouly, no one gets out alive anyway

Life's tough...Get a helmet

I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!

SHUT UP VOICES!! Or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...

If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends

Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do

Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died

Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain

Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

"Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for."

"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."

"If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words."

Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads :P

I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.

Shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark

Alice in Wonderland Oh! Is that the story of Alice before she went into the Asylum?

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

An atheist is a person who believes in not believing anything.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

There are no stupid questions – just stupid people.

Even when you can't see Him, GOD IS THERE!! If you believe in God, then put this in your profile.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this; because in the Bible, it says that if you deny me, then I shall deny you before my Father in the gates of Heaven. (Okay, I belive in God, Jesus and the rest of 'em, I don't go to church because it's boring, I almost never agree with the preacher and still, I haven't exploded, the devil didn't take my soul and I'm pretty sure you will never meet someone like me... I'm a better Christian than half of my church is... stupid idiots...)

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen Sir... when I was born I was black, when I grew up I was black, when I'm sick I'm black, when I go out in the sun I'm black, when I'm cold I'll be black, and when i die I'll be black. But you sir, when you where born you where pink, when you grew up you where white, when you're sick you're green, when you go out in the sun you turn red, when you're cold you turn blue, and when you die you'll turn purple. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man sat back down and the white one walked away. If you hate racism post this on your profile. (We are all unique - if ya don't think so... go screw yourself... no offense...)

Be very careful if you make a woman cry because God counts her tears.

Every tear a woman shed is equivalent to man's sacrifices in life.

The woman came from a man's rib,

not from his feet to be stepped on;

not from his head to be superior,

but from his side to be equal.

Under his arms to be protected and near his heart to be loved.

Sad stuff... this is the part where you cry, by the way...

If someone you thought was your best friend betrayed you, stabed you in the back, embarrassed you, made you cry on purpose, or told bunch's of people your secrets post this on your profile.

If your unpopular and had a a friend who's popular and you aren't friends anymore post this on your profile.

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this. (I'm a bit against it, and a bit not... I call Undecieded)

TRY NOT TO CRY:
Mommy.. Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did What I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
But Mommy, when I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye,
I'm sorry Mommy, I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, He hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, Got the gun from his older brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Trevor; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now,
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best;
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest.
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass.
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one deserves this,
Mommy, warn the others, Mommy I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know they really did try,
I think I even saw a doctor, Trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, With a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest.
Mommy I ran as fast as I could,
When I heard that crack, Mommy, listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new,
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo.
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, Mommy, I wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Trevor, I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know; you know it's true,
And Mommy all I wanted to say is, "Mommy, I love you."

In Loving Memory of The Columbine Students Who Were Lost. Please if you would, pass this around. I'd be happy if you could; don't smash this on the ground. If you pass this on, maybe people will cry. Just keep this in your heart for the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Now you have 2 choices, 1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repostas "Try Not To Cry" 2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how cold-hearted you really are. If you have a profile.

Read, Read, Read!!

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell.
He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups and
set about nailing it to a post on the edge of
his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the
post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked
down into the eyes of a little boy.

"Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your
puppies."

"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat
off the back of his neck, "These puppies come
from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."

The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then
reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a
handful of change and held it up to the farmer.

"I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take
a look?"

"Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out
a whistle. "Here, Dolly!" he called.

Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran
Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.

The little boy pressed his face against the chain
link fence. His eyes danced with delight. As the
dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy
noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse.

Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably
smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat
awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward
the others, doing its best to catch up...

"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the
runt. The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said,
"Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able
to run and play with you like these other dogs would."

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence,
reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his
trousers.

In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down
both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made
shoe.

Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir,
I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone
who understands."

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and
picked up the little pup.

Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy.

"How much?" asked the little boy. "No charge,"
answered the farmer, "There's no charge for love."

The world is full of people who need someone who understands.

Daddy's Poem:

Her hair was up in a ponytail, her favorite dress tied with a bow,

Today was Daddy's Day at school and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home,

Why the kids not might understand, if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid, she knew just what to say,

What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone,

And that was why, once again, she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all,

About a dad she never sees, a dad who never calls.

There were daddy's along the wall in back for everyone to meet. Children squirming impatiently,

Anxious in their seats.

One by one the teacher called, a student from the class,

To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare,

Each of them was searching, a man who wasn't their.

"Where's her daddy at?" She heard a boy call out.

"She probably doesn't have one." another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say,

"Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her, as she smiled up at her mom,

And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back, she slowly began to speak,

And out of the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique.

"My daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away,

But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know,

All about my daddy, and how he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories, he taught me to ride my bike,

He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone,

And though you cannot see him, I'm not standing here alone.

'Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart,

I know because he told me he'll forever be in my heart."with that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest,

Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress.

And somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears,

Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love, of a man not in her life,

Doing what was best for her, doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd,

She finished with a voice so soft, but it's message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star,

And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far.

You see he is a Marine, and died just this past year,

When a roadside bomb hit his convoy, and taught Canadians to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away,"

And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day.

And to her mother's amazement, she witnessed with surprise,

A room full of daddy's and children, all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside,

Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him by her side.

"I know your with my daddy,"to the silence she called out,

And what happened next, made believers out of those once filled with doubt.

Not one of them could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed,

But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant, long-stemmed, pink rose.

And a child was blessed for only a moment, by the love of her shining star,

And given the gift of believing that heaven is never to far.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them,a day to love them, but then an entire lifetime to forget them.

I went to a party, Mom
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom
So I had a Sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
That I didn't drink and drive,
Though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right,
The party finally ended,
And the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece,
I never knew what was coming, Mom
Something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.

My own bloods all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
This girl is going to die.

I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high,
Because he chose to drink and drive,
Now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
Like a hundred stabbing knives.

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave,
And when I go to heaven,
Put DaddysGirl on my grave.

Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
Id still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom
I'm getting really scared.
These are my final moments,
And I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say I love you, Mom
So I love you and good-bye.

Help stop drinking and driving!!

IMPORTANT THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
mall with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Go and annoy! You! Yeah, you! Go! Go and annoy people! You'll feel loooots better, trust me...

1. I need to tell you a secret.(look at #5)
2. the answer is... (look at #11)
3. don't get mad. (look at #15)
4. calm down. (look at #13)
5. first. (look at #2)
6. don't be that mad. (look at #12)
7. I just wanted to say hi lol :P
8. what I wanted to tell you is... (look at #14)
9. be patient. (look at #4)
10. this is the last time okay. (look at #7)
11. I'm not crazy. (look at #6)
12. sorry. (look at #8)
13. don't be hype. (look at #10)
14. I don't know how to say this. (look at #3)
15. you must be ticked off now. (look at #9)

Way to Annoy the Heck Outta Folks At the Movie Theater...
Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.
Clap when the good guy gets killed.
During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"
Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"
Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
Yell out what is going to happen.
Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.
Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.
Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.
Wear 3d glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.
Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.
Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.
Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)
Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.
Try to start a wave.
Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.
Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.
Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"
Sing with the theme music.
Bring and use your own air freshener.
At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."
Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.
Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.
Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.
Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"
Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.
Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.
Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.
When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"
Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.
Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"
Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.
Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.
Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"
Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.
Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.
When someone walks by you in the aisle scream, "Ahhhhhh! Bad Touch!"
Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.
Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.
During a love scene, stand up and run to the screen shouting "Hooters!"
Before the movie begins, tape fart cushions to various chairs in the theater room.
Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.
Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"
Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"
Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"
Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer’s name is going to be said.
Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.
Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.
Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.
Pass by a room that’s showing a movie you’ve already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending.

11 Things I Hate About Everyone:
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "It's always the last place you look." Of course it is! Why the heck would you keep looking for it after you found it? Do people acually do this? WHO and where are they? I'm gonna kick their butts!
5. When people say while watching a film "Did you see that?" No loser. I paid 12 bucks to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there did ya sunshine?
7. When something is new and improved. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "Life's too short." What the heck!? Life is longest thing anyone ever does! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you're waiting for the bus and someone asks "Did the bus com yet?" If the bus had come would i be standing her dumbie?
10. When people ask "Can I borrow a piece of paper?" Come on! How do you borrow a piece of paper!? What, write on it, then erase everything and give it back?
11. When a cop pulls you over and asks "Do you know how fast you were going?" You should know! You're the gay wad that pulled me over in the first place!

10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL:
10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks
9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies
8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly
7. Our magazines have horoscopes
6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor soundcool, but it doesn't work the other way around
5. Our friends don't say "hi" but punching us in the arm
4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we havean excuse to lay aroundeating chocolate once a month
3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have
2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket
1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing

YOUR GUY SIDE: (The ones that has an x is me)
xYou love hoodies.
x You love jeans.
x Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
x You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
xPlayed with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
xYou own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
x You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
x Gory movies are cool.
x You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
x You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
x Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
x Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun
xTalk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night
TOTAL: 13

YOUR GIRL SIDE: (The ones that has an x is me)
x You wear eyeliner.
x You wear the color pink
x Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
x You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
x You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
x You were in gymnastics/dance?
x It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
x You care about what you look like.
x You like wearing dresses when you can
TOTAL: 9

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Frito's:!...You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Well...duh, a bit late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (I was hoping it was going to be frozen... darn.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And...I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash!!...)
(In reality, they are forced to do that due to people with peanut and nut allergies. If they don't...MAJOR LAWSUITS!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and put this on your profile to bring a smile to someone (maybe even a chuckle)...

Some other category I failed to name….. bite me…

Why I Write: I write to be able to learn and to share my ideas. To know that somewhere someone else is reading my stories. To know that a new chapter in a story can make someone'sday, or make them smile. To know that I can still keep a forgotten show alive, or hold off until the next installment of a series is available. To know that I can make new friends through a story. To know that each new story inspires a new person to give it a go. To know that a review can make someone laugh. To know that the reader loves a story enough to make suggestions. To know that I'm already paving my future. That's why I write. If this is why you write, put this on your profile.(Don't exactly write at this point, but this just gets to me, ya know?)

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird anda freak either behindmy back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a boyfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to havethe time to do any more, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a boy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and, if you are anything like me, so the girls, and guys who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.

There's this girl in the mirror, I wonder who she is.
Sometimes I think I know her and sometimes I wish I did.
There is a story in her eyes, lullabies, and goodbye. When she's looking back at me I can tell...she's hurting inside.
She smiles with all that she has left, yet tears are left un-dried.
And though she's got so much to say, she bottles it up inside.
If you look past her broken eyes to a shadow no one sees, a disguise so you won't recognize, the girl is really me...

Sometimes the pain's too strong to bare...and life gets so hard you just don't care.
You feel so alone you just sit and cry...every second you wish you could die.
Then you start thinking who would care...if one day they woke up-and you weren't there.

She can't hide no matter how hard she tries, her secret disguised behind the lies.
And at night she cries away her pride, with eyes shut tight staring at her inside.
Not even friends know why she can't sleep at night. All she wants to do is get rid of this hell, well all she's got to do is stop kidding herself.
She can only fool herself for so long...
Who is she? I don't know anymore. She doesn't want to show what she has hidden. She wants to keep it a secret. Yet she doesn't. She wants you to know. It hurts to know that, that girl...is me.

I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know that just to be alive is a grand thing.
You don't have to control your thoughts; you just have to stop letting them control you.You want to feel happy. You want to smile, without it being forced. You want to laugh, and not let it be fake.
You hate the pain depression brings. You hate it. You hate acting happy so no one will see how you really feel on the inside.
What sucks the most is, that person...happens to be me.
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? I do. Almost every night.
I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of crying. I know I've been smiling, but inside I'm dying.
I just want a day to go by...when I'm not pretending to be happy.
People think she's so strong...because she pretends nothing is wrong.
Don't be fooled by her smile, inside she's breaking...
Do you ever just get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody. You don't want to smile and you don't want to fake being happy but at the same time you don't know exactly what is wrong either?
A strong girl keeps her stuff in line-and with tears running she still manages to spit the simple words "I'm fine."

I’m not a bitch… I just like being rude.
I'm not a sinner… I just can't do anything right.
I'm not depressed… I'm just always sad.
I'm not crying… My eyes are just full of tears.
I’m not living… I just keep breathing.
I'm not a thief… I just take what I need.
I'm not a slut… I just embrace my sexuality.
I'm not stupid… I just don’t get it.
I’m not trying… I’ve already given up.
I'm not weird… I'm just different.
I'm not a rebel… I just don’t take orders.
I'm not worthless… I just don’t know my value.
I'm not a believer… I’ve already lost hope.

I'm not a fuck up… I just make mistakes.
I'm not beautiful… Its only skin deep.
I'm not emotional… I just have a lot of feelings.
I'm not a cutter… I just found a way to get rid of pain.
I'm not immature… I'm just growing up.
I'm not a quitter… I just stop and re-think.
I'm not laughing… I need to smile first.
I'm not impulsive… I just act before I think.
I'm not obsessed… I'm just in love.
I'm not perfect… I don’t want to be.
I'm not ignoring… I just choose not to listen.
I'm not a gossip… I have my own life.
I'm not pessimistic… I just don’t get my hopes up.
I'm not impatient… I just don’t like to wait.
I'm not happy… I do have sparks of joy.
I'm not tough… I just don’t take shit.
I'm not clingy… I just wanna be held.
I'm not opinionated… I just voice what I think.
I'm not questioning… I just have my doubts.
I'm not hiding… I just want to disappear.

At age 8, your mom buys you an ice cream. You thanked her by dripping it all over her lap.

When you were 9 years old, she paid for piano lessons. You thanked her by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old she drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, she took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.

When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.

When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, she taught you how to drive a car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, she was expecting an important call. You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, she paid for yourcollege tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she told you how deep she loved you. You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

And then, one day, she quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.

If you love your mom, post this on your profile!

Story’s…. enjoy… I guess….

One day, Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "If you stick that goddamned thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"
"Amen," replied the congregation

Yesterday I was at the local Wal-Mart. Now I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out, there he was - a damn Motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket ...
So, I went to him and said: "Come on Buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"
He simply ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
So, I called him a pencil necked Nazi. He then glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!
So, I called him a sorry excuse for a human being. He then finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started to write a third ticket!
This went on for about 25 minutes ... the more I abused and hurled insults at him, the more tickets he wrote ...
But hey, I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner ...

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believeor not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

The Difference Between Love And Attraction:

One day, a guy was following a girl everywhere she goes. When the girl noticed, she faced the guy and said, "Why are you following me everywhere I go?"

The guy answered, "Because you are very pretty and I think I'm falling in love with you."

"Why don't you like my sister? She is much prettier than me. She is behind you right now."

The guy turned around only to see that there was nobody there. "Are you trying to kid me? There's nobody there!"

The girl looked smug as she said, "If you really love me, you shouldn't have looked back."

Copy And Paste This In Your Profile If You Agree.

Oh boy:
rrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnngggggggg
'Hello?'
'Hi honey, this is daddy, is mommy near the phone?'
'No daddy, she's upstairs with uncle Paul in the bedroom.'
...pause...
'But honey, you don't have an uncle Paul...'
'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room and mommy RIGHT NOW.'
...another pause...
'Okay, this is what i want you to do. put the phone down on the table, go upstairs and shout through the door that daddy has just pulled into the driveway!'
'Okay daddy, just a minute.'
...a few minutes later...
'Okay I did it.'
'And what happened sweetie?'
'Well mommy got all scared, jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, and ran around screaming! But then tripped over the rug and hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!'
'Oh my god! What about uncle Paul?'
'Well he jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared and jumped out of the window and into the pool, but i guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. So umm I think he's dead.'
...long pause...
...longer pause...
...even longer pause...
'Swimming pool? Is this 345-486-5731?'
'No, I think you have the wrong number...'

One night a father overheard his son saying his prayers
'God bless mommy and daddy and grammy. Goodbye grampa.'
Well the father thought it was strange but he soon forgot about it.
The next day, the grandfather died.
About a month or two later the father heard his son saying his prayers again
'God bless mommy and daddy. Goodbye grany.'
The next day the grandmother died.
Well, the father was getting more than a little worried about the whole situation.
Two weeks later the father once again overheard his son's prayers
'Bless mommy. goodbye daddy.'
This alone nearly gave the father a heart attack.
He didn't say anything but he got up early to go to work so that he would miss the traffic,
he stayed all through lunch and dinner.
Finally ater midnight he went home.
He was still alive!
When he got home he apologized to his wife.
'I am sorry honey. I had a very bad day at work today.'
His wife replied
'You think you've had a bad day? YOU THINK YOU'VE HAD A BAD DAY!? The mail man dropped dead on my door step this morning!'

A local newspaper ran a competition asking for a poem with the most romantic first line, but the least romantic second line. Here are some of the entries they received:

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss

But I only slept with you because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other

Until, that is, I met your brother

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head.

I see your face when I am dreaming

That's why I always wake up screaming

My feelings for you no words can tell

Except for maybe "go to hell"

Bad Things to Hear on an Airplane Intercom

1. This is your captain speaking and I don't feel that life is worth living anymore

2. We're cruising at an altitude of... Ah hell I don't know

3. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button does?

4. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Just kidding.

5. Would the fight attendant bring me a martini? And keep 'em comin'

6. This is... uh... This is... uh... your... Hmm, I seem to have lost my memory...

7. Passengers on the left side of the plane -- does that engine sound funny to you?

8. Good God Steve! We’re going to crash! Oops -- is this intercom on?

9. We'll be on the ground in ten minutes. One way or another...

A body builder picks up a blonde at a bar and takes her home with him. He takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a great chest you have."

The body builder tells her, "That's 100 pounds of dynamite, baby."

He takes off his pants and the blonde says, "What massive calves you have."

The body builder tells her, "That's 100 pounds of dynamite, baby."

He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear.

The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.

The blonde replies, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was."

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in Lipstick:

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... What happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"

His son replies, "Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"

Saying the right thing, at the right time. . . PRICELESS!!

Look! Some other random fuck on my profile!

-pick the month you were born in-

1.(jan)i killed

2. (feb)i needed

3.(mar)i ran naked with

4.(apr)i jumped

5.(may)i had sex with

6.(june)i shot

7.(july)i banged

8.(aug)i luved

9.(sept)i ran shirtless with

10.(oct)i robbed

11.(nov)i slapped

12.(dec)i stabbed

-pick the day you were born on-

01.two bi chicks

02.a homeless guy

03. Jacob Black

04.a mop

05.Barney the dinosaur

06. Edward Cullen

07.a stripper

08.my luver

09.my ex boy/girl friend

10.bella swan

11. a movie star

12.the school slut

13.a hooker

14.a drunk

15.a crack head

16.a hottie

17.a cat

18.a teletubby

19.a homo

20.paris hilton

21. mike newton

23.elmo

24.a rockstar

25.your toothbrush

26.a glass of milk

27.the kool-aid man

28.a french fry

29.a lesbo

30.a evil boy aka emo!

31.jerry the snow man

-pick the color of the shirt you wearing-

whitebecause that hoe stole my taco

blackbecause im the sexiest beeoch alive

pinkbecause emmett told me to!

redbecause i bringing sexy back yepp!

brown because bella is my freind

polka dotsmy azz is perfecto!

purplecuz im gangsta my home skillett biscut lol!

graybecause im kool like dat

otherbecause i have double d's

greenim a freak'n tree hugger thats why!

orangebecause i look like lindsy lohan

maroonbecause im a preppy

turquoisebecause i love water yeah baby!

bluebecause edward dazzles me!

tyedyebecause im a fucking subadiver you got a problem with that didnt think so!

nonecuz i have a killer six pack

yellowbecause i want chips!!

-put it all together and laugh your head off!-

I killed Bella Swan because Emmet told me to! Mwahahahaha!

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line.

Get it?

This has got to be one of the most clever
brainteasers I've seen in a while.
Someone out there either has too much
spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

Here, do something for fun…

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4.

"Has my brother been talking to you?" The Named: Guardians of Time Trilogy.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?

My pink nail polish.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

Racing Stripes.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:

9:45

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

9:40

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

The TV.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

Going to school.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

A story.

9. What are you wearing?

Jeans and a purple shirt.

10. Did you dream last night?

No!

11. When did you last laugh?

At the movie Racing Stripes.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

Pink color and lots of posters.

13. Seen anything weird lately?

Umm... I don't think so.

14. What do you think of this quiz?

Been there, saw that.

15. What is the last film you saw?

For the third time today, Racing Stripes. Do I need to repeat that?

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

Lots of books about werewolves and vampires, stock something in the bank, and help people around the world.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:

I have really nosy neighbors.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

Bring magic in here! It's boring.

19. Do you like to dance?

Hell Yeah! And I rock, if I do say so myself. :)

20. George Bush:

Eww!!!

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

Amber.

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

Daniel.

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?

Yeah! I have a lot of stuff in my mind.

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the "pearly gates"?

God: Welco-

Me: Can I go home now? :P

Namez

1. YOUR REAL NAME:
Ana

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle):
Anaizzle.

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal):
Pink Tiger.

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name):
Danielle Sea Daisy Dr.

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name):
Meraneak. (It actually sounds cool.)

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink):
Purple Coke.

7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mom's maiden name, 3rd letter of you dad's middle name, 1st letter of a sibling's first name, last letter of your mom's middle name):
Nriemk. (Don't have any siblings...Do pets count?)

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's middle name):
Violet.

9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets):
Black Nera. (She is seen today somewhere around school- didn't know she likes studying! She ran away cuz someone called her and she has a big enough heart do go and be peted. Stupid thing. That was said with love.) - OMG! I just got it! My dog Nera is actually a black dog! :)

Most girls don't realise these things;
I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all
I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realise These Things'

WHY DO BOYS FALL IN LOVE WITH GIRLS??

1. They will always smell good even if it's just shampoo.
2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder.
3. How cute they look when they sleep.
4. The ease in which they fit into our arms .
5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.
6. How cute they are when they eat.
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while.
8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside.
9. The way they look good no matter what they wear.
10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful girl on this earth.
11. How cute they are when they argue.
12. The way her hand always finds yours.
13. The way they smile.
14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight.
15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later...
16. The way that they kiss after you have had a fight.
17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you".
18. Actually...Just the way they kiss you...
19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry.
20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly.
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt.
22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we don't admit it).
23. The way they say "I miss you".
24. The way you miss them.
25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore...

Best and good friends…. If only…

A good friend will bring you bail money when you're in jail. A BEST friend will be right in the cell next to you saying, "You have GOT to learn to run faster!"

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A BEST friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A BEST friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you find your prince. A BEST friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will help you move. A BEST friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A BEST friend will hand you a Kleenex and ask you “Who do I have to kill?”

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A BEST friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A BEST friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.

A good friend will offer you a soda. A BEST friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A BEST friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A BEST friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A BEST friend would be in the cell next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry. A BEST friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A BEST friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A BEST friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

A good friend knows a few things about you. A BEST friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A BEST friend just sits down and cries.

A friend wants the money back that they loaned you last week. Best friends can't begin to remember who owes who money after taking care of each other for so long.

A friend will help me find my way when I'm lost. A best friend will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

A friend will ask why your crying. A best friend will already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry.

A friend always gives your stuff back when they borrow it. Best friends lose your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

A friend will help me learn to drive. A best friend will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

A friend will watch my pets when I go away. A best friend won't let me go away

A friend will help me up when I fall down. A best friend will point and laugh because she tripped me

A friend will bail me out of jail. A best friend will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up".

A friend will go to a concert with me. A best friend will kidnap the band with me

A friend never ask for food and call your parents Mr. and Mrs. and grandpa, grandpa, best friends are the reason you never have any food and call your parents MOM and DAD and grandpa GRAMPS!!

A friend asks me for my number. A best friend asks me for her number

A friend hides me from the cops. A best friend is probably the reason they are after me in the first place

A friend lets me make an idiot of myself in public. A best friend is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

A friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

A friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

A friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - dammit - run!"

A friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A friend will be there to take your drink away when they think you’re had enough. Best friends will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Bitch, drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!"

Friends fade. Best Friends are 4 Ever.

This is Bunny. (heh heh- bunny)

(\_/)
(O.o)
o(/_._\)o

Copy and paste Bunny to your profile to help him achieve world domination!

On the other hand, this is Kitty.

l、
(゚、 。 7
l、 ヽ
じしf,)ノ

Kitty is Bunny's nemesis. Or evil accomplice. Nobody really knows.

Either way, copy and paste Kitty as well, or Bunny will get lonely!

Stuff about me ( the bold parts):

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm Black so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
Im bi-sexual, so i must must want to screw every boy and girl i know.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL (or half white), so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kindof girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. (im a girl though)
I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PORTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK (or half black) so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up. (black, white, canadian)
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT (by like 10 pounds), so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot. (or used to be)
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual. (I love Boys clothes!!)
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.( Actually many only child's have to do all the chours all by them self. Is THAT spoiled?)
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST havea problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE (or half), so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, so I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, andnot be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

Hmmm, no bolds, eh? That’s because I don’t know who I am… I have yet to figure out…

Jeesh, is it me, or is this profile too long? Damn my sentimentality…. xD I can't get rid of some things, whoever reads trough all of this deserves a plate full of money! :D

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Vampyre High by PurpleFlower626 reviews
Zoey is a normal girl, or at first it may appear she is. Drastic events occur and her life is changed forever. Can one girl cope with the change or will she drown in it?
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 64,456 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 12/25/2017 - Published: 6/4/2010 - Zoey R., J. Stark
I Hate You, Right? (ABANDONED) by Horlo246 reviews
[ABANDONED] Bella is back to her childhood home of Forks, where she re-meets an old best friend turned bully who may or may not have imprinted on her. Not to mention Bella absolutely hates said bully. Rated M for language, dark themes, and safety. OOC & AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 30,131 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 235 - Updated: 3/19/2017 - Published: 10/8/2010 - [Bella, Paul]
The Hard Way To Learn A Lesson by Stephaniiie reviews
AU/AH Bad boy Edward needs to be taught a lesson. So his teachers come up with a plan- ‘marry’ him to the best behaved girl in school! How will his ego survive spending ‘eternity’ with Bella Swan! Little OOC. NOW COMPLETE!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 71 - Words: 279,757 - Reviews: 16124 - Favs: 7,720 - Follows: 3,530 - Updated: 1/15/2017 - Published: 6/23/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Mystery Girl by MidnightShadow07 reviews
He has seen her several times, now he needed to know who his mysterious girl plaguing his mind was. Kid Darkness OC
Step Up - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 32 - Words: 76,347 - Reviews: 149 - Favs: 209 - Follows: 189 - Updated: 12/17/2015 - Published: 8/21/2010 - Kid Darkness, OC - Complete
The Prince and I by BluechanXD reviews
N and White end their final battle in a tie. To make things fair, they make a deal. N will stop his ambitions on one condition: White must become his princess.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 32 - Words: 93,845 - Reviews: 1709 - Favs: 1,177 - Follows: 933 - Updated: 12/16/2015 - Published: 11/6/2010 - N H./Natural H. G., Hilda/Touko - Complete
Endless Winter by Ziomy reviews
This story begins when Bella comes back from Italy after saving Edward from the Volturi. Edward has given the ok on turning Bella into a vampire...now she has some difficult decisions to make.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 71,281 - Reviews: 387 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 6/18/2014 - Published: 10/21/2009 - Jacob, Paul - Complete
The Other Option by juxtaposed92 reviews
Bella is devastated after Edward leaves her even though he promised he wouldn't. Can she overcome her heartbreak and accept the person she's destined for but doesn't want or will she cling onto the memories of the person she wants more then anything?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 26 - Words: 43,140 - Reviews: 135 - Favs: 240 - Follows: 172 - Updated: 6/8/2014 - Published: 11/7/2010 - Bella, Paul - Complete
The Fallen Come To A New Rise by zoeybird101 reviews
Latisha is the first of her vampire kind.She is half evil and half pure.Latisha and her two best firends are the chosen 3.They must fight for there kingdom,love and there lifes.The must stop the fallen angels even if it means killing your family.Plz read this story is my baby so emjoy it as much as i have i now give it over to you all, enjoy
Vampires - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 51 - Words: 106,196 - Reviews: 270 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 10/7/2013 - Published: 2/21/2010
Dancer in the Dark:Part I by Edward cullen is my hero reviews
Bella has an attiude but she can dance.Edwards in the popular crowd.What happens when he sees a girl dancing at school but doesnt know her?His only clue is a video and tattoo. Bellas sister starts bringing the populars home.Will Bella get along with them?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 19,988 - Reviews: 251 - Favs: 400 - Follows: 405 - Updated: 7/18/2013 - Published: 8/27/2009 - Bella, Edward
Different Change by sophgr77 reviews
Sequel to Stark and Zoey's Moment! It's a romantic fic on the best couple ever: Stark and Zoey. lots of fluff included!
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 9,792 - Reviews: 219 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 4/28/2013 - Published: 4/8/2010 - J. Stark, Zoey R.
Unhuman Nature by Vampire-Addict-22 reviews
Bella and Paul have a hate/hate relationship. Screaming matches, Check. Angry sex, check. But what happens when Paul phases and imprints on Bella the same day that Edward decides he wants her back. thats all she wanted, right?. Rated Mature. FINISHED!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 85,710 - Reviews: 1802 - Favs: 2,382 - Follows: 1,528 - Updated: 2/25/2013 - Published: 6/15/2010 - Bella, Paul - Complete
Broken Dreams by HarryPotter009 reviews
Bella was pregnant in Breaking Dawn with Nessie. But, she has a miscarriage. Will she survive this, or will it kill her? Read and Review, but please be kind. Pics on profile for this. Rated M just in case.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Tragedy - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,805 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 1/24/2013 - Published: 4/9/2010 - Bella, Edward
Playing With Fire by Dance Elle Dance reviews
Just as Jacob is starting to become Bella's "personal sun," he imprints on Leah. Heartbroken, Bella finds solace with another werewolf - a more volatile, hot-tempered werewolf who doesn't put up with her pity party. PaulBella, JacobLeah, New Moon AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 24 - Words: 78,365 - Reviews: 1591 - Favs: 1,797 - Follows: 2,201 - Updated: 12/21/2012 - Published: 3/3/2010 - [Bella, Paul] [Leah, Jacob]
My Favorite Smile by edwardbella15 reviews
Zoey meets a stranger at the stables.....
House of Night - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,911 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 8/19/2012 - Published: 5/28/2009 - Zoey R., J. Stark
My Version of Burned by verdadero'amor reviews
'I couldn't believe she was gone...all my hope and faith was destroyed. It was too late. I realised the truth as my heart shattered into hundreds of tiny pieces' My version of the sequel to Tempted. Re-writing in progress but same URL. Slight OOC and ZxS.
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 18 - Words: 21,534 - Reviews: 190 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 8/4/2012 - Published: 12/31/2009 - Zoey R., J. Stark
The Orphan by bitascull reviews
Bella is an orphan with a tough past and Billy adopts her. Every house that Bella goes to she is sent back to the adoption agency within a month and expects this to be the same. But when she comes to live with Billy Paul imprints. Full summary inside.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 10 - Words: 11,870 - Reviews: 244 - Favs: 305 - Follows: 344 - Updated: 7/17/2012 - Published: 12/26/2009 - Bella, Paul
Another Chance by teamjacobrulez reviews
As the Cullens leave, a new family takes their place. They're not vampires, but not exactly human either. One of them in particular catches Bella's heart, but it wouldn't have happened if she hadn't allowed herself to throw it to him. Bella/OC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 56,066 - Reviews: 740 - Favs: 734 - Follows: 451 - Updated: 7/17/2012 - Published: 2/6/2010 - [Bella, OC] - Complete
Anger Management by Mrstrentreznor reviews
Leah is angry. She likes her anger. She thinks it helps her, but it doesn't. M AU,
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,415 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 140 - Follows: 27 - Published: 6/14/2012 - [Leah, Paul] - Complete
Drift Queen of America by Daerwyn reviews
Bella has a secret and one phone call will bring her back into that world.The world she so desperately was avoiding after a fatal confrontation.Bella is a street/drift racer.So is her crew.Now she must fight for what's right while keeping everyone alive
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 55,048 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 259 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 6/12/2012 - Published: 6/14/2010 - Bella - Complete
A Mortal Life by sirwayde reviews
POST-ECLIPSE- After the battle, Bella chose Jacob but left him behind because of imprinting. Away at college, she discovers that love and the supernatural are far from finished with her... not to mention her past refusing to stay in the past...J/B/OC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 61 - Words: 278,923 - Reviews: 2261 - Favs: 563 - Follows: 385 - Updated: 5/17/2012 - Published: 2/20/2010 - Bella, OC - Complete
Another Torturing Day by teamwolfpackjacobseth reviews
Edward is hesitant to leaving Bella with Paul when the Cullen's go to play baseball. When Paul's snide comments about Bella's sex life becomes to much what will happen? Rated M for lemmony lemons late on!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 54,094 - Reviews: 312 - Favs: 366 - Follows: 342 - Updated: 2/19/2012 - Published: 6/16/2010 - Bella, Paul
Something about Home by I-Have-A-Dark-Side reviews
Bella returns home to La Push after many years and shes running away from a past that always seems to be right behind her but can the Pack save her? Bella's life is about to get a lot more complicated than she ever thought possible! Imprints. Pack. Cullens
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 28 - Words: 52,720 - Reviews: 615 - Favs: 1,006 - Follows: 653 - Updated: 2/7/2012 - Published: 6/2/2010 - Bella, Paul - Complete
The Touch Of Return by zoeybird101 reviews
Selene's missing.Babies are about to be marked.Old evil returns.An unexpected evil returns.Z,Lo and Kay have to protect the HON or else and there kids.The kids are inportant but why? DON'T read unless U have read burned,stolen and burdened by me.
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 25,028 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 1/3/2012 - Published: 3/12/2010 - J. Stark, Zoey R.
Deadly Secrets by summer-echo-11 reviews
2 secrets surround Forks - 1. No one knows that the reason Bella left Phoenix was because of her secrets. 2. Paul has had to keep his imprint a secret for months. So when the secrets are finally revealed, no one expects how badly their lives will change
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 17,577 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 278 - Updated: 11/20/2011 - Published: 7/11/2010 - Paul, Bella
My Savior by castiel-lord-of-the-bees reviews
Stark & Zoey have returned from the Otherworld only to be faced with a new challange, an Imprint. Stevie Rae is dealing with the depature of Rephiam. Aphrodite's visons are turning towards Rephiam, Kalona's favorite son, who is struggling to chose Light.
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 21,228 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 10/22/2011 - Published: 7/17/2010 - Zoey R., J. Stark
My Version Of Burned by JadeeXbooks reviews
It's all in the title! xD Picks up from my version of Tempted, so make sure you've read that and my version of hunted before this!
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 11 - Words: 20,686 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 8/15/2011 - Published: 11/24/2010 - Zoey R., J. Stark
Mercy by Mrstrentreznor reviews
You may meet a stranger... especially if you like visiting graveyards. Original story.
Misc. Books - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,916 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/11/2011 - Complete
Love at first fight by Lucyferina reviews
COMPLETE. Bella arrives in Forks, Paul has not phased yet but he is close to. They meet and sparks fly, but she doesn't give him the time of the day. Follow Bella in figuring out how to be an imprintee to an angry but sexy werewolf.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 44,627 - Reviews: 1091 - Favs: 1,411 - Follows: 740 - Updated: 7/22/2011 - Published: 9/14/2010 - Bella, Paul - Complete
A Shadowed Promise by Mad Ink reviews
Madi's back with, quite literally, a brand new bag. Going through the latest portal, she didn't expect Montana to be her latest conquest. But what is it in Montana that she's supposed to find? And why is one character eerily familiar to her?
Vampire Academy - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 20 - Words: 46,599 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 7/5/2011 - Published: 5/3/2011 - Rose H., Lissa D. - Complete
Closer to God by Mrstrentreznor reviews
Bella is alone after Edward has left and she decides to go out dancing. She meets a strong silent man and their first encounter is unforgettable, for more reasons than one. M AU Warning for language, underage drinking, teen sex
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 43 - Words: 74,212 - Reviews: 2205 - Favs: 2,535 - Follows: 797 - Updated: 6/27/2011 - Published: 9/22/2010 - [Bella, Paul] - Complete
Keep Holding On by teamjacobrulez reviews
He had helped her move on. He had taught her to love again. He had been the one to fix her broken heart. But now, he is going to be the one to tear her apart. VERY ANGSTY. Jacob/Bella Non-Imprint. HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 38,611 - Reviews: 218 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 6/13/2011 - Published: 10/7/2010 - [Bella, Jacob]
Ease My Pain by I.AdmireYourExpensiveTaste reviews
My version of how the wolf pack scene with Bella and the pack should've went. Imprinting! :D Now continued.Will be updated soon! Changed my pename I was orignally - xxxXXXDaughterOFArtemisXXXxxx I recently changed my pename.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,045 - Reviews: 157 - Favs: 186 - Follows: 225 - Updated: 6/7/2011 - Published: 8/11/2010 - Bella, Paul
Turn your back to the forest by Mrstrentreznor reviews
set at the time of the newborn battle in Eclipse but in a Cullen free world. Victoria and her new coven are coming to La Push. AU, M for sex, language and themes
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 31 - Words: 59,489 - Reviews: 915 - Favs: 797 - Follows: 282 - Updated: 5/31/2011 - Published: 5/1/2011 - [Bella, Quil Jr.] - Complete
New Beginning by vampirepuppiez00 reviews
When Alice misinterprets a vision and the Cullens break up Edward and Bella, what will happen when Bella finds out she's pregnant? Nessie-centric, Nessie/Jacob, Nessie/Claire friendship. Post Twilight
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 55,651 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 4/27/2011 - Published: 8/30/2010 - Renesmee C./Nessie
When Clearwater goes cloudy by Mrstrentreznor reviews
Seth is no longer the youngest wolf. He doesn't have a mate but he keeps getting drawn to a particular place in the forest. AU. NC17 for teen sex and language Fifth story in the W series.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 49,532 - Reviews: 474 - Favs: 255 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 4/10/2011 - Published: 3/9/2011 - [Seth, OC] [Paul, Bella] - Complete
Escaping Doomed Fate by HowlingWolves reviews
Bella moves back to her Dad's in La Push in an attempt to escape her past, but will she be able to stop the fate that is hanging over her or will she succumbs to lifes end. Bella/Paul
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 13,105 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 119 - Updated: 2/19/2011 - Published: 10/12/2010 - Bella, Paul
Step Up 4: Let Loose by xxWARxx reviews
Brynn Griffins. Ex-ballet dancer, current hip-hop/RnB dancer, cousin to Moose. "Damn," Jason said. "She's good." "She IS related to Moose." Anala agreed. "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin?" he asked. Anala smiled and nodded at her fellow crew mate.
Step Up - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,800 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 1/28/2011 - Published: 12/27/2010
iPod shuffle! by Starksarrowgirl reviews
Summary inside.
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,844 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/28/2011 - Published: 12/29/2010
Prayer of the Refugee by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Sequel to Feel Good Drag. Bella is living life good, racing, hot boyfriend, nice friends...until she wins a yellow Camero in a drag race, and Bella’s life is plummeted into an unknown world of transformers as the race begins. FULL SUMMARY INSIDE.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,294 - Reviews: 414 - Favs: 227 - Follows: 217 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 9/20/2009
Feel Good Drag by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Bella is one of the top street racers in Arizona. But when a recent race ends up in a police chase, Renee sends her to live with Charlie in Forks. What happens happens when she discovers an underground racing site, and meets new friends? SUMMARY INSIDE AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 41,450 - Reviews: 1281 - Favs: 785 - Follows: 313 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 8/13/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Diaries of a Phoenix by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
I was brought back into this world by accident.....but I’m still here for a reason. My resurrection wasn’t expected.....but neither was my murder. Now I’m looking for them. I’m looking for my murderer.
Misc. Books - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,516 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 12/27/2009
10 days to stop one huge mistake by vampluver19 reviews
"Stark, this is Erik, and Erik and I are getting married." Zoey smiled huge at me as I felt my world shatter into a million pieces along with my heart. AU! Summary inside. Basically Stark needs to stop Zoey from a huge mistake, but whats really goin on? This story is discontinued/ on hiatus forever.
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,653 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 1/23/2011 - Published: 8/16/2010 - Zoey R., J. Stark
Like its meant to be by MadameKennedy reviews
this doesnt have to do with the book series just my own story its really good and just give it a chance.
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,259 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/16/2011 - Published: 11/16/2010
Ignorance by PrettyLittleLiar reviews
AU: What if Paul had imprinted on Bella? WolfPack replaces the Cullens. Add a little of Victoria, an ex-girlfriend and a jealous pack mate and you have some major drama! Rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 39,322 - Reviews: 772 - Favs: 433 - Follows: 418 - Updated: 1/1/2011 - Published: 6/5/2010 - Bella, Paul
Zoey's diary entry by Puppysaur reviews
Zoey is a troubled teen...she keeps a diary. WARNING: contains suicidal content.
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,254 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/29/2010 - Published: 11/2/2010 - Zoey R., Linda H.
The Ghost Whisperer and The Wolf by ReneeCupcake reviews
Bella has a gift. She can see ghost. When is imprinted on by the hot-head of the group she wants to tell him her secret but she's been humiliated enough. She has second thoughts... : Read!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Spiritual - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,908 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 12/27/2010 - Published: 10/27/2010 - Bella, Paul
Burned and Broken by Novelette Consonance reviews
Follow Zoey and her friends in a race against time to get Zoey back to her body and defeat Kalona. Love, loss, action, and drama; including all your favorite characters & those you love to hate. Takes place after the first chapter on the website
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 73,635 - Reviews: 204 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 12/22/2010 - Published: 4/23/2010 - Zoey R., J. Stark - Complete
Chances by jamesstarkdreamgirl reviews
when Zoey meets Stark before any other boy what will happen with a few switches...hope ya like!
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 16 - Words: 11,272 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 11/26/2010 - Published: 5/14/2010 - Zoey R., J. Stark
My version of Tempted by JadeeXbooks reviews
My version of Tempted, DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU READ MY VERSION OF HUNTED! :D :D :D :D :D Zoey escaped the girls and Kalona last time, but are they back for more?... And please dont copy this story!
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 35,954 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 11/24/2010 - Published: 3/8/2010 - Zoey R., J. Stark - Complete
Three Sisters by zoeybird101 reviews
Three sisters were spererated at birth. They have been training for years to destroy each other but what will actually happen once they come face to face. Please read I suck at summaries.
Vampires - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,599 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 11/14/2010 - Published: 5/9/2010
teenage dream by xEvenWorldWar3CantTearUsApartx reviews
Jacob imprinted on someone bella does NOT like. Edward left. whats a girl to do. what will bella do when a secert comes along she never knew about.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,078 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 25 - Published: 11/11/2010 - Bella, Paul
A Legnd Reborn by Starksarrowgirl reviews
Hey, I'm Demi Rae Redbird. Daughter of Stark and Zoey Redbird. This is my story.
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 30 - Words: 32,153 - Reviews: 179 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 11/6/2010 - Published: 8/23/2010 - Complete
Tiny Dancer by xXPauls4EVer23xX reviews
based on Tiny Dancer by Elton John PAUL'S POV
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 646 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/3/2010 - Bella, Paul - Complete
Can you save me? by vampluver19 reviews
This is right after Erik changes in chosen.What if Loren raped Zoey instead?Her friends will still be mad with her. This story is discontinued/ on hiatus forever.
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 29 - Words: 26,351 - Reviews: 526 - Favs: 205 - Follows: 161 - Updated: 10/26/2010 - Published: 3/20/2010 - Zoey R., J. Stark
The Diary Of Victoria by zoeybird101 reviews
Vic is you average girl except shes the captin of every team,boys love her and girls want to be her.She has the perfect life on the outside.But on the inside its hell.She hates her life so much she takes it.Everyone wonder why? This is her story plz R&R:
Speak - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,561 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 10/19/2010 - Published: 8/8/2010
Fractured and Broken by Crushed Hale.x reviews
What if Leah and Bella lived different lives? If Leah was Leah Swan, average seventeen year old. And Bella Clearwater was 17 and the first female werewolf? Eventual Bella/Paul
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 17 - Words: 20,330 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 184 - Follows: 126 - Updated: 10/16/2010 - Published: 4/17/2010 - Bella, Leah - Complete
My Savior by teamjacobrulez reviews
In the midst of her near death, he was the only one who was there to save her. When everyone else had abandoned her, he was the one who came to give her comfort. When no one else loved her, he did. After suffering a bad heartbreak, can she love again?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 31,422 - Reviews: 500 - Favs: 631 - Follows: 323 - Updated: 10/7/2010 - Published: 6/8/2010 - [Bella, Paul] - Complete
I'm in Love with a Rockstar by teamjacobrulez reviews
In hopes of forgetting 'him,' Bella moves back to Florida for a fresh start. Cocky and arrogant Blake Stone rocks into her life. She knew that rockstars were bad news but for some reason she just couldn't pull away. He was just the distraction she needed.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 72,159 - Reviews: 1497 - Favs: 623 - Follows: 368 - Updated: 10/7/2010 - Published: 3/1/2010 - [Bella, OC] - Complete
Best Friends or Not by teamjacobrulez reviews
Paul never thought that he would fall in love with tomboy Bella. Because of a stupid mistake, he lost her. She leaves the state without a goodbye. Now she's back and decides to forgive Paul, only being his friend, but are they really ONLY friends?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 26,308 - Reviews: 334 - Favs: 385 - Follows: 270 - Updated: 10/7/2010 - Published: 1/4/2010 - [Bella, Paul] - Complete
Nala's Story by XxXMika-ChanXxX reviews
It's abot time Zoey's cat gt her story told. All we know is that she meets zoey and sees some dead kids. What is her roe in later eventsand what led up to that
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 276 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/5/2010
Corresponding Shapes by blueborealis reviews
"You say you're one of us yet I've never seen you in our ranks.You ask about the immortals yet you must know they're dead.Any Guardian would know that." His eyes widen &I feel the weight of unease settling on my shoulders.Isabel's going to kill me.Or him.
Guardians of Time - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,641 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 9/27/2010 - Published: 9/26/2010 - Arkarian, Isabel B.
Fairy Ring by Mr.Light-of-Twilight reviews
The blossoms from the nearby trees that circled around them, shielding the two lovers from the outside world as the petals danced with in the soft summer breeze. Please R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,210 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 9/14/2010 - Published: 6/19/2010 - Bella, Paul
The Hothead and His Imprint by Sabi'sSookie reviews
A hot-headed wolf and a broken girl. The confrontation between Bella and the wolves takes a different turn. Can a vampire-hating werewolf love a vampire-loving human? Even if she's his imprint?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 45,676 - Reviews: 921 - Favs: 1,762 - Follows: 694 - Updated: 9/12/2010 - Published: 7/7/2010 - Bella, Paul - Complete
Really just posing for the parents? by Rosylips x topazeyes reviews
hey! This is my first HoN fic, and I've been trying to be experimental! As parent visitation draws closer for Damien, Shaunee Erin and Stevie Rae come up with a plan that involves Zoey posing as Damien's new girlfriend... What could possibly go... right?
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,902 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 9/2/2010 - Published: 8/26/2010 - Zoey R., Damien M.
Icy Warmth by migraine.md reviews
Starts in New Moon. Bella jumps off the cliff, but Jacob isn't the one to rescue her, Paul is. Paul imprints, but Bella is still in love with Edward. How will she manage to choose between the love of her life and her soulmate?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 21 - Words: 48,920 - Reviews: 425 - Favs: 381 - Follows: 406 - Updated: 8/30/2010 - Published: 6/4/2010 - Bella, Paul
Constellations by Mad Ink reviews
Picture it, ladies and gents, just picture it! You hate Twilight, and yet you've been forced into their world just as a battle is about to ensue, and all you've got is a sword and an insult at every turn. All I can say is, Forks won't know what hit 'em.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 33,466 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 8/29/2010 - Published: 7/14/2010 - Edward, Seth - Complete
Tomboy turn Girl turn Wolf? by Niamh D reviews
Bella,Paul and the rest of the pack have always been friends.One by one they start to avoid Bella.Can she find out why, will it happen to her as well and will the others find out her secret with Caleb as well? No vamps just wolves.Bella born in La Pus
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,813 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 183 - Follows: 184 - Updated: 8/28/2010 - Published: 10/30/2009 - Paul, Bella
If I Die Young by Starksarrowgirl reviews
Stevie Rae P.O.V. in Betrayed when she's dying. Based on the song "If I Die Young" by the Band Perry.
House of Night - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,221 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/24/2010 - Stevie Rae J. - Complete
Awakened by StephanieConkey reviews
How many others can't wait for Awakened to come out? Well I can't either. I decided to write what I feel is a good continuation. This takes place right after Burned ended. Please read and review:
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 20 - Words: 39,821 - Reviews: 368 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 8/21/2010 - Published: 6/7/2010 - Zoey R., J. Stark - Complete
Deadly Kiss by Star A. Nobel reviews
A kiss is looked upon as a symbol of love and affection. For Vampyres, as "kiss" is a symbol of life and comfort for their dying souls. For Maiya, it is both.
Vampires - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,498 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/21/2010
Sadness by AnimeLover5678 reviews
Bella has a very troubled childhood. Will she come back to her Jake? Or will some one else catch her eyes when her life changes?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 703 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/14/2010 - Bella, Paul
We Belong by Lucyferina reviews
Bella/Paul imprinting story.'His eyes narrowed and he took a step forward. She didn't back down, he could go to hell if he thought that she would show him fear.'COMPLETE.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 34 - Words: 65,425 - Reviews: 1876 - Favs: 2,435 - Follows: 1,030 - Updated: 7/12/2010 - Published: 4/6/2010 - Bella, Paul - Complete
new chance by vampluver19 reviews
im gonna try a book type summary: in this thrilling enstallment the issue of kalona might be resolved and along the way not only will zoey and stark feel luv, ull be falling of ur seats waitin for more.only read if u read burned first. r r u kno the drill. This story is discontinued/ on hiatus forever.
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 9,975 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 7/1/2010 - Published: 3/6/2010 - Zoey R., J. Stark
I Told You So by Myriad Nice reviews
"I-I just assumed-" I was shocked at your earlier question and wasn't sure what to say. You took hold of that vulnerability. "Exactly! You assumed," you spat hatefully at me. "You don't ask me what I want to do. You assume." PaulxBella. One-shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,196 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 17 - Published: 7/1/2010 - [Bella, Paul] - Complete
Hoofbeats of the night by Azar's Curse reviews
What if Nyx's powers weren't only reserved for humans?
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,023 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/28/2010 - Published: 6/21/2010
White Wolf by My Dark Magic reviews
COMPLETE: I don't know how it happened, and I don't know why. One second I was Bella and now I'm something horrible...something terrible...something white.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 30 - Words: 41,643 - Reviews: 590 - Favs: 440 - Follows: 227 - Updated: 6/25/2010 - Published: 8/24/2009 - Bella, Jacob - Complete
Incase I Die, Here's My Goodbye by LauraHannah90 reviews
Bella is pregnant and she's beginning to feel weak. Edward tells her she will live, but she has her doubts. Just in case, Bella writes each member of her family a letter of goodbye. Canon. During Breaking Dawn.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 14 - Words: 27,056 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 6/24/2010 - Published: 1/21/2010 - Bella - Complete
I love you, Paul by MissMannnu reviews
it's Imprint story. bella and Paul. Is Bella gonna fall for Paul? Bella changes, but into what? Is she the most important, even Sam? It's my first fanfic. I hope you all like it.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 9 - Words: 27,589 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 221 - Follows: 176 - Updated: 6/21/2010 - Published: 4/2/2010 - Bella, Paul
New Kids On The Block by RazzleDazzleBaby reviews
New girls, new guys, new place. The La Push boys are in for a heck of a surprise when sunny Californian girls Leah, Bella and Emily arrive. Remember, La Push is a small town, and gossip gets around extremely fast...An ALL CHARACTER story. Some people OOC.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 26,736 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 6/21/2010 - Published: 1/9/2010 - Bella, Paul
Harder to Breathe by lolibarbie reviews
What happens when Stark wakes up while Jack is installing the camera in the morgue and Zoey is with him? And they witness part of Neferet's evil plan. Read to find out. I stink at summeries. Rated T for later chapters. Stark/Zoey.
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,997 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 6/20/2010 - Published: 5/29/2010 - J. Stark, Zoey R. - Complete
Dying for a Chance by Sweetlittlegremlin reviews
Rosalie wants nothing more than to be a mother- featuring the song "I would die for that" by Kellie Coffey. A/H.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,256 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 6/19/2010 - Rosalie - Complete
Changes by SarahCullen93 reviews
Okay so i had trouble up loading chapters on the 1 storie so i hope this will work! Enjoy!
House of Night - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,347 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 6/17/2010 - Published: 8/9/2009 - Zoey R., J. Stark
Cullens Adopt a Kid by WhyFightAnEclipseWhenTheresJaz reviews
Its pretty much what the title says. Then Cullens adopt an human kid. What will happened? First fan fic so please give it a try.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 52 - Words: 65,770 - Reviews: 443 - Favs: 185 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 6/7/2010 - Published: 5/14/2009 - Complete
What is it? Love, Lust, Or War by Mz. Lovett reviews
After Zoey beats Kalona her and Stark are hitting it off pretty well. A certain someone gets Jealous and trys to weasel his way back into Zoeys life. Who will she pick and what will happen between Stevie Rae and Rephiam
House of Night - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 12,084 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 5/23/2010 - Published: 3/5/2010 - J. Stark, Zoey R.
Stark's POV by Airri Spree reviews
This is Stark's Point Of View. It starts just before 'Untamed'. Stark fans, this will be the FanFic for you. Those people who are not, its okay, I believe you will enjoy it too.
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 37,360 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 5/22/2010 - Published: 2/17/2010 - J. Stark, Zoey R.
White Wolf by cafeanna reviews
There once was a she-wolf with fur as white as snow, a hot tempered man who's gaze binds, and a ex-lover with a dead heart. This did not start the war, but it saw the end to it. Paul/Bella. [Complete. Under-Construction]
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 25,014 - Reviews: 690 - Favs: 1,130 - Follows: 584 - Updated: 5/18/2010 - Published: 12/20/2009 - [Bella, Paul] - Complete
Burned my versionof book seven by 8D Kayla 8D reviews
I'm starting from where the Tempted was left off. My first fan fic.!
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 17 - Words: 17,366 - Reviews: 147 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 5/16/2010 - Published: 2/7/2010 - Zoey R., J. Stark
Forgotten by uinen84 reviews
He was never much of a father. His mistakes would alter the lives of many. Bella was all alone in her race for life until the destiny leads her onto the Quileute land.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,731 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 87 - Updated: 5/14/2010 - Published: 5/4/2010 - Bella, Paul
Rising Phoenix by Bea's Beso reviews
Two years after the Cullen's leave. Bella is facing another heartbreak. Can the unique bond she has with Paul keep her from going back to being a zombie? Why can't they stay away from each other? What will Leah and Sam uncover from forgotten legends?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 12 - Words: 46,242 - Reviews: 1072 - Favs: 1,081 - Follows: 1,142 - Updated: 4/22/2010 - Published: 1/19/2010 - Bella, Paul
Isabella Uley by amalin06 reviews
Bella comes back after 6 years. She is on the run from her abusive husband. She runs to the only people who she knows has a chance to protect her children. The Pack. But with family being the most important to them, will they fight against thier own kind?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 18,823 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 4/12/2010 - Published: 1/15/2010 - Bella
Burns, Cuts and Bruises by Stark's one and only girl reviews
Kay this is my 2nd Story and its set in the future a couple years. I dont know how long its gonna be but Zoey and Stark do get married, but remember the title, bad stuff is gonna happen and it will leave Burns, Cuts and Bruises! Read and Review Please! :D
House of Night - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,768 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 4/8/2010 - Published: 3/13/2010 - Zoey R., J. Stark
The Change: Fate and Destiny by Seleen reviews
Selene made it through the war and is allied with the werewolves. But a new challenge has arisen and it is Selene's choice. Will the path of fate that she chooses lead her to her destiny? Sequel to "The Change"
Vampires - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 10 - Words: 9,905 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/1/2010 - Published: 2/13/2010
Breathe Again by Ziomy reviews
A self proclaimed terminal bachelor & vampire hater, Paul has a dream & an encounter with someone who will not only change his views on life, but love as well. Will he be able to see past his prejudice & self pride in order to find true love & happiness?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,106 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 3/29/2010 - Published: 2/5/2010 - Paul, Bella
A different twist on burned by I.Chased.A.Bunny.To.Wonderland reviews
When Zoey awakes, she finds she defeated her ugly past for the last time.Zoey and the gang return to school in search of 'normal.'But when has her life ever been normal? when a mysterious girl named Brooke arrives... who can Zoey really trust?
House of Night - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,933 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 3/22/2010 - Published: 3/20/2010 - Zoey R., J. Stark
Anywhere But Here by SparklingTwilight reviews
J/B & E/A are living on the streets of Seattle. What happens when their paths cross one day? Will they rise up against the odds, or hit rock bottom? Drugs, drinking, excessive obscene language, and mature adult content. OOC. Canon Cpls. Rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 30 - Words: 212,649 - Reviews: 1717 - Favs: 1,350 - Follows: 683 - Updated: 3/2/2010 - Published: 6/4/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Shattered Glass by CauseILikeEmHot reviews
Kim is very happy in La Push. What happens when Kim's sister, Bella comes to live with Kim. With her, Bella brings back her dark secrets, dark past and dark present. What happens when Paul imprints on Bella? M for rape and abuse .
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 10 - Words: 19,802 - Reviews: 303 - Favs: 443 - Follows: 412 - Updated: 2/13/2010 - Published: 12/3/2009 - Bella, Paul
The Change by Seleen reviews
Selene Rayne was always destined to be a vampire so she now lives at the vampire mansion. But when war breaks out and no one knows the true cause of it can she keep the vampire world from falling into darkness save her new family and rescue her true love
Vampires - Rated: T - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 22 - Words: 20,179 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 2/13/2010 - Published: 12/29/2009 - Complete
Trully Tempted by XxXAniFreak88XxX reviews
Not great with Summaries. But This is in Tempted when Stark stays the night with Zoey.
House of Night - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,360 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 18 - Published: 1/8/2010 - J. Stark, Zoey R. - Complete
Pixie Stick by WhyFightAnEclipseWhenTheresJaz reviews
This is a cute way that Alice could have got her nickname Pixie. All human.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 831 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 9 - Published: 12/30/2009 - Alice - Complete
I'm Only Me When I'm With You by pixiealice4ever reviews
Bella and Paul have been best friends forever. A new guy comes in town trying to steal Bella's heart. Who will she choose? Her all time friend who knows things about her she can't tell anyone else. Or the new guy with a sweet, romantic player? read!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,117 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 37 - Published: 12/7/2009 - Bella, Paul
Wave of Popular Feeling by XxxwhenxturtlesxflyxxX reviews
For Bexxyy's Paul Imprint Contest. After being deemed uncontrollable by her mother, Bella is sent to live with her father, Charlie, and brother, Sam. Upon arrival, she is imprinted upon by Paul. She denies him, but soon realizes she was wrong. One-Shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,261 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 12/3/2009 - Published: 10/26/2009 - Bella, Paul - Complete
He Knew by mia-dcwut-09 reviews
He knew he had to in order to protect her.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 287 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/24/2009 - Paul, Bella - Complete
Fight Me! I Dare You! by SongsOfSpring reviews
My one-shot interpretation of Paul and his thoughts when he phases in front of Bella in New Moon ! Lots of anger, courtesy of Paul! Lots of fun to write, hopefully lots of fun to read! Please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,396 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 7 - Published: 10/20/2009 - Paul, Bella - Complete
A Million More Mistakes by Stephaniiie reviews
AU/AH Bella is pregnant with her BFFs brother, Edward. Scared, she moves away but, 5 years later, Edward shows up. As Bella falls for him again, she realises that she has to tell him everything... until he introduces his fiancee... NOW COMPLETE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 130,436 - Reviews: 4513 - Favs: 3,145 - Follows: 1,106 - Updated: 10/16/2009 - Published: 4/19/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Full Moon by Mmm.Bby reviews
Bella started feeling different changes with her body. A week after Edward left her stranded in the woods, Bella has had the biggest change of her life. Rated M for future Mature Content and Language. No it is not a Bella/Jacob story! 18 only! Lemons!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 52,802 - Reviews: 725 - Favs: 1,691 - Follows: 551 - Updated: 7/12/2009 - Published: 4/6/2009 - Bella, Paul - Complete
Acceptance by wild-lili reviews
The bookworm,the jock, the queen bee,the punk,the nonconformist,and the player secretly they all wanted one thing-Acceptance. What happens when six very different people are thrust together by fate? Read to find out!All human.Rated T just to be safe!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 34,205 - Reviews: 400 - Favs: 257 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 5/24/2009 - Published: 3/6/2009 - Complete
Amputated at the Neck by Minisinoo reviews
An empath's thoughts about a telepath. Jasper's private concerns regarding Edward and Bella as they race towards marriage.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,814 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 434 - Follows: 48 - Published: 3/30/2008 - Complete
Tortured Soul by no.1Schizo reviews
Edward leaves,Bella joins a new group. Now she's a punk and meets Nikel who's not afraid to change her. Problem, his coven drinks human blood. Its been 50 yrs since she's seen Edward, she's in for a rude awakening. Not Bella/Edward! Bella/OC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 35,130 - Reviews: 465 - Favs: 435 - Follows: 233 - Updated: 2/1/2008 - Published: 10/19/2006 - Bella - Complete
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