Bellabia
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Joined 06-20-10, id: 2411909, Profile Updated: 06-28-10

ABOUT ME:

I'm a thirty-something, snarkalicious, mother of three, who loves & hates Twilight in equal measure.

I don't want to cook for, have sex with, or marry ANY celeb, never mind the cast of Twilight. Why fantasize about strangers when I've got the goods at home?

The Huz & I have a really great sex life, & I hate it when lemons are obviously written by someone who's never had ANY kind of sex before.

Reading Twific is my dirtiest little secret, bar none.

Dirty secret #2: I like nothing more than reading about Emmett/Edward or Emmett/Jake.

I'm an editor for a major publishing house, and find it both amusing and stupefying to see how many fic writers think they have a future as a published writer.

If you use "battling for dominance," "wet hole," "cramming," and a zillion other played-out, cliched, &/or stupid fic terms I hate, I'm going to stop reading your story...immediately.

I support your right to work out whatever shit is in your life through your writing, but I'm not going to continuing reading it if it's disturbing. I do reserve the right to leave you a review & comment on it, though.

"If you really want to suffer, try taking everything personally." ~DeepakChopra

Try not to get your pussy sore if I leave what you consider a bad review. I'm not your mom or BFF; I'm a stranger, with an opinion. Try this:

Main Entry: ig·nore

Pronunciation: \ig-ˈnȯr\

Function: transitive verb

Inflected Form(s): ig·nored; ig·nor·ing

Etymology: obsolete ignore to be ignorant of, from French ignorer, from Latin ignorare, fromignarus ignorant, unknown, from in- +gnoscere, noscere to know — more at know

Date: 1801

1 to refuse to take notice of
2 to reject (a bill of indictment) as ungrounded

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The Canonical Five by TWBB reviews
What if before he became the respectable patriarch we all know and love, Carlisle was a killer? A very famous killer. DARK. M for disturbing themes and lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,557 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Published: 6/17/2010 - Carlisle - Complete
This Mortal Coil by TWBB reviews
One soul in peril, the other lost for eternity. What begins on a dark night at a cliff's edge, will end in a way that neither of them could have foreseen.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,264 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/17/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Dancer by TWBB reviews
Jasper and Emmett drag Edward to one of their favorite hot spots, will a new dancer catch Edward's attention?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,521 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 25 - Published: 6/17/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Falling in the Dark by TWBB reviews
Edward saves an innocent girl from imminent death, but what he finds in the dark will change things forever.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,447 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 24 - Published: 5/30/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Beautiful Distraction by TwiBoy reviews
Edward is driven to complete distraction after running into Seth Clearwater. Entry for the Divirginizing Edward contest. AH/OOC Rated M Slash.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,275 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 185 - Follows: 37 - Published: 2/1/2010 - Edward, Seth - Complete
Evading The Orbit by TrampyVampies reviews
Edward & Jasper are two anti-social college students who share a close & solitary friendship. When Jasper’s feelings grow, will Edward succumb to the pressure of high-expectation, or embrace his feelings and evade the orbit of conformity? E/J Slash AH/OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 36,865 - Reviews: 690 - Favs: 489 - Follows: 683 - Updated: 8/26/2009 - Published: 3/24/2009 - Edward, Jasper
The Mirrors by adorablecullens reviews
Teddy's secret and magical childhood is lost when a family heirloom is destroyed, changing his life forever. Now an adult, can Edward open himself back up to magic and love when he meets a beautiful - and hauntingly familiar - woman in real life?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 23 - Words: 93,498 - Reviews: 4139 - Favs: 4,278 - Follows: 1,358 - Updated: 7/23/2009 - Published: 4/5/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete