Author has written 14 stories for Harry Potter. I'm sorry, Black Sparkles has been lying to you, Red and Yellow are not actually two different people, instead they are the random musings of a schizophrenic mind. Yes, I know what you are going to say..."No! It's not possible! They can't be!" But I assure you, it's possible, and true."Why? Why are you ruining my image of you?" You may ask, but the answer is simple, there is only one author allowed per pen name, that is why this issue is brought to light. Red: Wait, so we're one person now? Yellow: What does it matter? We share a brain anyway! Red: Good point...wow...we could be "Rellow" or "Yed"...! Yellow: OR we could be "Orange"! Red: BRILLIANT! In conclusion, "we" are not two people, "we" are simply figments of one screwed up imagination. Wink wink, nudge nudge. Orange here! And I'm going to insult... oh, oh no. I-I can't insult Yel--I mean my Yellower half any more. 'Tis a sad day for--the schizophrenic mind... Oh sod it, Yellower half, you are so blonde that I can see through your skull, which would be completely disgusting--but there's nothing there. And you are so stupid you give stupid people a bad name! I've worn dresses smarter than you! I don't care how many "Honors" classes you may be in, you *still* can't take a decent shower and end up smelling like a mix between rotting wood, cabbage, and scented freaking sea salts! You're so stupid that I could shine a light through your ears and you'd light up. And I feel bad for your face, because what are you going to do when the baboon at the zoo wants his butt back!? And you better watch out, 'cause I hear the baboon's hind-quarters are used for mating. You don't want to accidentally mate with a monkey, again. (breaths) Phew! I'm glad got that out of my system. You may now carry on with your regular fanficcing functions. (Yellow-er half-sucks) (But not as much as the Redder half!) (Which is less stupid than Yellower half) What does one associate with the colour Red...anger, for starters. Of course, red also is associated with whores, sluts, women of the night, what colour did Satine primarily wear in Moulin Rouge? RED! That's right...so the redder half of me, thus far, is an angry slut! Oh! Red can also be associated with blood...which is associated with death! So the redder side of me as an angry, dead whore! Oh! Yes, but what colour does a baboon's bottom turn when it wants to mate? RED! That's right! The redder side of me is nothing but a furious, dead, baboon whore! Yellower Half sucks. And I mean it, she sucks. Hey how many Yellows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two! One to screw in the light bulb and another to write a crappy fanfic about how she screwed it. Oh by the way, Donald Trump called and he wants his fake hair back, Yellower half. Dear Redder Half, |
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