Phoenix with a Head Cold
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Joined 02-03-02, id: 164939
Author has written 14 stories for Harry Potter.
I'm sorry, Black Sparkles has been lying to you, Red and Yellow are not actually two different people, instead they are the random musings of a schizophrenic mind. Yes, I know what you are going to say..."No! It's not possible! They can't be!" But I assure you, it's possible, and true.

"Why? Why are you ruining my image of you?" You may ask, but the answer is simple, there is only one author allowed per pen name, that is why this issue is brought to light.

Red: Wait, so we're one person now?

Yellow: What does it matter? We share a brain anyway!

Red: Good point...wow...we could be "Rellow" or "Yed"...!

Yellow: OR we could be "Orange"!

Red: BRILLIANT!

In conclusion, "we" are not two people, "we" are simply figments of one screwed up imagination. Wink wink, nudge nudge.

Orange here! And I'm going to insult... oh, oh no. I-I can't insult Yel--I mean my Yellower half any more.

'Tis a sad day for--the schizophrenic mind...

Oh sod it, Yellower half, you are so blonde that I can see through your skull, which would be completely disgusting--but there's nothing there. And you are so stupid you give stupid people a bad name! I've worn dresses smarter than you! I don't care how many "Honors" classes you may be in, you *still* can't take a decent shower and end up smelling like a mix between rotting wood, cabbage, and scented freaking sea salts! You're so stupid that I could shine a light through your ears and you'd light up. And I feel bad for your face, because what are you going to do when the baboon at the zoo wants his butt back!? And you better watch out, 'cause I hear the baboon's hind-quarters are used for mating. You don't want to accidentally mate with a monkey, again.

(breaths) Phew! I'm glad got that out of my system. You may now carry on with your regular fanficcing functions.

(Yellow-er half-sucks) (But not as much as the Redder half!) (Which is less stupid than Yellower half)

What does one associate with the colour Red...anger, for starters. Of course, red also is associated with whores, sluts, women of the night, what colour did Satine primarily wear in Moulin Rouge? RED! That's right...so the redder half of me, thus far, is an angry slut! Oh! Red can also be associated with blood...which is associated with death! So the redder side of me as an angry, dead whore! Oh! Yes, but what colour does a baboon's bottom turn when it wants to mate? RED! That's right! The redder side of me is nothing but a furious, dead, baboon whore!

Yellower Half sucks. And I mean it, she sucks. Hey how many Yellows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two! One to screw in the light bulb and another to write a crappy fanfic about how she screwed it. Oh by the way, Donald Trump called and he wants his fake hair back, Yellower half.

Dear Redder Half,
You're fired!
Love,
The Infinitely Better Yellower Half

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This Time Around by Disneydoll0424 reviews
Hermione Granger travels back in time and meets up with the Marauders. She finds out that changing the past can have unexpected consequences for the future. HGRL COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 69 - Words: 255,823 - Reviews: 5103 - Favs: 3,410 - Follows: 884 - Updated: 9/5/2005 - Published: 3/7/2004 - Hermione G., Remus L. - Complete
Albus's Scheme by Acadia elle reviews
Not HBP compliant. Written long before I was canon literate. Chapter 1 has been rewritten, and then it was beta read. The rest needs a rewrite, as well, I shall get to it one day. Severus Snape and Hermione Granger who is OVER 18 romance
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 113,468 - Reviews: 233 - Favs: 242 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 8/19/2005 - Published: 10/29/2004 - Severus S., Hermione G.
Betrayed by kateydidnt reviews
In his fifth year Harry Potter was framed for murder and sentenced to Azkaban. Ten years later his innocence is proven. What will Harry do? Written PreOotP. COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 26 - Words: 102,138 - Reviews: 4079 - Favs: 7,974 - Follows: 2,131 - Updated: 7/15/2005 - Published: 4/1/2003 - Harry P. - Complete
In the Rising Consciousness of a Prankster by Sneezy Mouse reviews
Fred and Hermione are still together and still very happy. However, with the pre-wedding stress that befalls the two, the plans may or may not go off without a hitch. Still, Fred chronicles it all in his entertaining way. AU as of OoTP.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 36,886 - Reviews: 413 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 1/20/2005 - Published: 4/4/2003 - Hermione G., George W.
If The Fates Allow by AgiVega reviews
Ginny has been forced to marry Draco, but her heart still belongs to Harry. Will she ever break free from this unwanted marriage? Will Harry help her? Join them on their odyssey through despair and hope, faith and love, amidst Voldemort's machinations.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 234,787 - Reviews: 2276 - Favs: 461 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 6/14/2004 - Published: 10/31/2003 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Comfort by Andrian1 reviews
She had meant to leave him alone, as he sat there. But when she heard him crying she had wanted only to comfort
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 59,673 - Reviews: 851 - Favs: 935 - Follows: 137 - Updated: 3/24/2004 - Published: 7/5/2003 - Hermione G., Remus L. - Complete
Damaged Goods by Andrian1 reviews
Severus Snape sets out to help a student back from the brink of madness only to uncover a strange power that may destroy him.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Supernatural - Chapters: 24 - Words: 92,593 - Reviews: 302 - Favs: 246 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 1/15/2004 - Published: 4/11/2003 - Severus S., Hermione G.
The Children's Services Division by Rose Rovente reviews
Muggles decide the Weasleys are unfit parents, as it seems their children don't go to school and their house has no eckeltricity.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,125 - Reviews: 492 - Favs: 332 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 12/28/2003 - Published: 2/25/2002 - George W., Ron W.
Till There Was You by Bella O reviews
Hermione and Ron are engaged, but what happens when Hermione realizes that red head she's in love with, isn't the one she's marrying. Hr/F.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 41,517 - Reviews: 632 - Favs: 321 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 7/10/2003 - Published: 9/7/2002 - Hermione G., Fred W.
Deep in the Subconscious of a Prankster by Sneezy Mouse reviews
* FINISHED * Hermione and Harry, as usual, have ventured to the Weasley household for the summer holidays. Comedy and fluff abound in this tale on how Fred Weasley and Hermione Granger first got together told from Fred's POV. Sequel now posted.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 35,374 - Reviews: 439 - Favs: 299 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 12/28/2002 - Published: 9/30/2002 - Hermione G., George W.
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Things That Are Supposed to Happen Series reviews
We know you have those secret desires to see things happen in the Harry Potter series, well, here's your chance. *This Episode* Mr. Weasley Meets Mr. Light Socket*
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,582 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 10/15/2004 - Published: 3/3/2003
Capers on the Hogwarts Express reviews
Draco, Ginny, and the Trio are on the Hogwarts Express. Mrs Weasley packs lunch. Chaos ensues. Lunch bags, leather pants, D.A.R.E. packets, and shagging galore!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,239 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/13/2003 - Draco M.
Who's the Bigger Whore War reviews
"It started out as an innocent Ruffle chapter...but then jello was added, and the evil powers of jello overcame us, thus leading to a full scale who's the bigger whore war." Who's the bigger whore? You decide.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,893 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 7/10/2003 - Lily Evans P., James P.
Introduction to HP Slash Obsession reviews
Why do we love slash? Why do we hate it? These are reasons to love it, or hate it, it depends on your sense of humour... SLASH!!! New: Dedication to our fave shoe-biting, leg-lovong, mutt! (Sirius)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 936 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 7/6/2003 - Published: 3/28/2003 - Harry P.
What Would Have Happened if Harry weren't so Dim reviews
*REAL TITLE'S
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 337 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 15 - Published: 7/6/2003 - Harry P.
A Day with the Weasley's reviews
Just you're average day in the life of your favourite family!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,392 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/20/2003 - Published: 4/19/2003 - Percy W., Ron W.
Letter From Harry reviews
Harry writes a last letter to all of his favourite fanfic authors...before the Harry Potter community enters radio silence...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 192 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 6/19/2003 - Harry P.
I'm My Own Father reviews
Ginny finds out she's pregnant (shock! horror!) and comes across a certain someone's timeturner and travels to the past (shock! horror!)....EXACTLY 21 years into the past....think about it.... Ms. Weasley, meet the Mauraders.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,398 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 5/17/2003 - Published: 5/4/2003 - Ginny W., James P.
Ron Becomes a Man reviews
Ron does something to become a man, but with whom? Harry and Hermione are determined to find out.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 700 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 12/23/2002 - Published: 7/18/2002 - Ron W., Harry P.
The Ultimate Parody reviews
Don't you just hate all those cliche Harry Potter stories where the two most improbable characters fall in love? Well this is a parody of those. If you like them, you'll like the story, if you hate them, you'll like the story. *This episode* HG/SS
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,541 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/22/2002 - Published: 12/13/2002 - Hermione G., Severus S.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Biscuit reviews
A parody of the third book. THE TRUE STORY! Not the story that J.K. Rowling made up! Not the way Harry pretended to be...or pretended not to be. THAT IS THE QUESTION! Okay, on with the show!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,276 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 12/22/2002 - Harry P.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Crumpets reviews
Harry finally attempts to kill off the evil marketing scam while obtaining world power. A dark but very humorous parody. Why get scar removal when it's a covienent symbol in a new world order?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,919 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 12/22/2002 - Harry P.
Harry Potter and the Holy Grail reviews
Okay boys and girls, we're back! Okay, The REAL fifth scene is up! You see, this is called Yellow is a complete moron...ANYWAY, this is a Harry Potter/Monty Python and the Holy Grail hybrid type thing with a dash of our *ahem* humor in it.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 2,440 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 12/11/2002 - Published: 5/21/2002 - Complete
Harry Potter on One Fine Day reviews
Hilariously funny fic! It's extremely twisted! It's so funny in some parts it's actually scary!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,034 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 9 - Published: 5/3/2002
AgiVega (36)
Andrian1 (11)
Bella O (8)
P.A.R (26)