In late Dec. I was invited to go to Winter Camp with the youth group of my church (more like my cousins church cause I really didn’t go) so I figured I’d go, to make friends n all, and I did, but that’s not what I’m trying to get at. It’s kinda hard to explain, but I didn’t just meet some of the youth there, I met Jesus, as corny as that may sound, I met Him there, because I was given a chance to have a new life, a good one, where I could be happy and at peace, where I didn’t have to feel so lonely when I went to bed, and where I didn’t have to cry every night because of it. A life I wanted to live. I was given the truth at that camp, I took it, I kept it, and it was that all I had to do was give my life to the Lord. It wasn’t just saying a prayer and then going back to my old way of life but it was asking Jesus to come into my heart and keeping Him there by repenting for my sins, then proving my repentance by my actions. I live that out everyday, because it’s a moment-by-moment, day-by-day walk with God. Its not like you can choose God once, be a Christian only on Sundays, or a couple times a week. It’s continuous; it doesn’t matter what troubles tomorrow will bring me in my walk just as long as I choose Jesus today, right now. Before I dedicated my life to Jesus, I had a lot of problems, I even thought I was Christian I didn’t even go to church, I had no idea where I was standing. I was in home school, and only had one friend who lived kinda far, I really had no life, the life I did have was like going no where. I was of no worth. Because of this I had a really bad problem with depression, which lead to me cutting myself, and that really horrified me, to look and see little cuts and scratches on my arms. I felt like a freak. You can’t really see my scars anymore though. Depression also lead to insecurity. I didn’t eat a lot because if I did I would throw it back up, because having a full stomach made me feel so ugly, gross, fat, I felt like a pig. I lost some weight doing that. Another thing I went through because I was depressed was, I went to bed at like four in the morning and would get up at like two in the afternoon the next day, and maybe this doesn’t seem late to you or its not a big deal but I would sleep for so long because, I would have rather been asleep then feel the hate I had for the world and for myself. I just wanted the pain to end. And maybe your listing off ways I could have solved my problems, right now, if Jesus wasnt that list then it wouldn’t have gotten me very far because when I was going through all this I knew what I had to do and that was to let Jesus rule as # one in my life. I don’t live that way anymore, but now that I belong to the Lord it doesn’t mean that all my problems go away, some things still make me sad, and when I cry its either because I’m so grateful for the new life the Lord has given me or that I’m calling out to the Lord because I need Him. I still go to home school and I really like it, but I have friends now, they’re more like my family, and they’re all from church. I’m not perfect. God’s still working sin out of me and He will be until I die. A couple weeks after winter camp, my mom started to go back to church (she used to be close to the Lord years ago) and the 19th of August this year my dad got saved. My mom said she had been praying for that for years. Jesus saved my family and now I’m not the only one serving Him in my house anymore. That’s my testimony and now everyday in the morning I worship, pray and read my Bible, and when I read His Word I get revelation, and when I pray and listen He speaks amazing things, and when I worship Him in awe and humility He shows me He’s mighty glory and all I can do is praise Him with my tears when it happens. I would never go back to my old life because it is nothing compared to what I have in the Lord and it never will be. God Bless! |