![]() Before you read my profile, I would like to get just one little thing out there: My name does not refer to a short African, rather, to a dead/dying medium-sized star. (Just incase you were wondering 0.O) One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about human beings was their habit of continually stating and repeating the obvious, as in It's a nice day, or You're very tall, or Oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you alright? At first Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behaviour. If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don't keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working. After a while he abandoned this one as well as being obstructively cynical and decided he quite liked human beings after all, but he always remained desperately worried about the terrible number of things they didn't know about. -Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy I feel this quote accurately represents a good deal of the ff community of writers. That aside, I really only wanted to quote this amazing book. And I don't feel the need to explain why to all you n00bs out there because, frankly, I'm lazy. I flame... just because. Deal with it. Not all of my reviews are nasty: Here are the features that will get your story a bad review: 1. grammar. 2. speling 3. constant run-on sentences 4. indiscernible plot 5. incorrect paragraph breaks (or no paragraphs at all) 6. invariable/terrible vocabulary 7. summary saying NO FLAMERS 8. incorrect character personalities 9. unrealistic/godlike characters/plot (Mary Sues/ Garry Stues) Just a few points to keep in mind: -Most of my flames are given because even though the plot line is great, the plot line is the only thing that is acceptable. The plot line is not the only element of the story! To list a few others, there is vocabulary, grammar, flow, etc. -If my flames in any way affect any of the other review authors give then the affected review isn't valid. Therefore, don't ask me to pm you the review or complain to me about this because from now on because I simply won't reply. -WrItNg LiKe ThIs WoN't GiVe Me YoUr AtTeNtIoN!! Nor will multiple exclamation points or made up words. -If you’re going to insult my review or myself, please take care to do it properly. Something witty or explicit, but please no "I hate you yur just a stupid monkey!"'s. -I do not have any sort of phobia related to terrible grammar, incorrect capitalization, etc. If writing like you do is supposedly excused because you are trying to agitate me, stop now because you’re failing. And it's quite painful. -And finally, please, please, don't pm me only to block my answer. Because really, if you're going to vent, wouldn't it be somewhat smarter to allow for a satisfying reaction? Notwithstanding, it really does show a lot about people when they run away. Don't be like those people I've been dead for a while and apologize for not ruining anyone's life while I was away. Rest assured, I will be resurrected in due time... |